Keeping BDSM stimulating by yourself

I'm curious how many of you are having trouble finding a play partner. I live in Chico CA , a nice small community. Unfortunately, it is a very conservative town, I was born and raised here. I know there is a BDSM community here, I almost went to a Dungeon party, but wasn't feeling well, and couldn't go. Now I have lost the connection. I only have one friend I can talk to about my kink, but he isn't into it. I have been married for 35 years, my wife tries, but she is a normal, vanilla woman. I became comfortable late in life with being gay. My wife knows, and has learned to accept it. We're trying to make it work. She's trying to understand, that my BDSM play, is a Male thing for me. I love men, always have. In the past, I have had Male play partners, Master's,and boyfriends, but that was when I lived in a larger town. I'm just getting bored with playing and torturing myself. I do love the great creative conversations that pop up on Zity. Maybe the BDSM gods will stop torturing me, and I will find my BDSM playmate.

You say that you "lost the connection", but couldn't you see the list of upcoming events in your local community through, say, Fetlife?

You say that you "lost the connection", but couldn't you see the list of upcoming events in your local community through, say, Fetlife?

I was on Fetlife, that's how I found the local group. Fetlife didn't work out for me. My first meeting didn't work out,I got sick, and chicken out. I use to like group play, but maybe I'm getting old. I'm looking to start up with a one on one male relationship first. I've got myself in a very frustrating place in life right now. Nobody's problem but my own. Just venting.

You say that you "lost the connection", but couldn't you see the list of upcoming events in your local community through, say, Fetlife?

Your right, I should have stayed on Fetlife, at least until I got into the local group. I became a paying member on Fetlif, but every time I tried something, I got put on suspension. They aren't as user friendly as Zity is. I guess kink wouldn't be kink if everyone was doing it.