Pros and Cons of Adult Homes or assisted living homes

I'm just curious, I am getting older and in a year or two I may need to move into a Adult home or a assisted living situation. Of course I am incontinent, and wear diapers 24/7. Do any of you live in a situation like that now. Could you give advice on the pro's and con's you have to deal with. And also if you are in that situation, how do you deal with your incontinence.

I don't but but my parents have (one is passed away, the other is still there). It seems like a nice place, you can get a private room or share one with one other same-sex resident. They charge extra for your diapers (about $1.75 each).

I'm just curious, i am getting older and in a year or two i may need to move into a Adult home, or a assisted living situation. Of course i am incontinent, and wear diapers 24/7. Do any of you live in a situation like that now. And could you give advice on the pro's and con's you have to deal with. And also, if you are in that situation, how do you deal with your incontinence.

According to your profile and recent posts you appear to be in your mid-50's - that seems pretty young to start considering assisted living. Hopefully there aren't any serious underlying conditions besides incontinence that are driving you that way.

Best of luck!!!

Wife and I wonder how much longer we can keep up all the maintenance and things needed to be done living in our house. But we love where we are. We have so much stuff - where to begin clearing out things… Getting old really sucks 😢! So I'll just escape thinking about this by spending my time here on the web…

Wife and I wonder how much longer we can keep up all the maintenance and things needed to be done living in our house. But we love where we are. We have so much stuff - where to begin clearing out things… Getting old really sucks 😢!

@Reddevil I hear you! My biggest fear is having to make that decision for either my wife or myself. There are good facilities - but I would hate for either of us to have to be dependent on anyone besides each other.

My Father and Mother in law moved into an assisted living home - he had a stroke and was pretty much unable to care for himself. They shared a room, and when she had heart failure, he was there to hold her hand when she died. The staff seemed to be very accommodating - even during the pandemic and lock downs.

Due to my ongoing rehab from my spinal injury, I'm currently in an assisted living facility. There are, as the heading of this thread indicates, pros and cons to the situation. I'll describe a few of them as they affect me. It's possible that some pros to me, may be cons to someone else, and vice versa.

Pros:

Somebody else does the cooking (we have fridge and microwave in the room)

There are folks to look in on you and help you if needed

Somebody else does the cleaning and laundry (you can do your own laundry if you wish)

Lots of group activities

Good security

Maintenance all taken care of

Cons:

Not as much privacy as you might be used to

You probably won't like everything they cook

Limited space in your room

May not be able to practice a hobby

Depending on the facility, the conversational possibilities may be limited

When I moved in here, just over a year ago I was in a wheelchair and had barely enough strength in my legs to transfer from the chair to the bed or commode. With some good PT and a lot of work, I'm now walking without even a walker and working on my endurance. By my calculations, I'm the youngest person here, and also the only one here for physical reasons only. The rest of the ‘inmates’ (my joking term for all of us) are here for diminishing mental capability. Some of course are more alert than others. All nice folks, but it limits the conversational opportunities.

Most of the group activities are tailored to the majority and don't interest me at all. I'm used to having a shop to play in and a reloading bench in the house. Can't have that here. I do have some of my pro sound gear to play with. Now and then I'll roll some of it down to the mess hall and “Play DJ” for an hour or so. They enjoy that, and for me it kinda takes me back to my radio days.

I'm glad I'm here. It's the place I need at this time. I'm hoping to continue to improve and get back to my own place. I'm used to living alone, being a nudist as soon as I walk in the door, and playtime being any time I want it. Here, they leave us alone after 2200, so that's when playtime has to be. Of course, we can sleep in all we want.

If you're considering an assisted living facility, check it out well. Talk to folks who have friends or relatives there. Find out what you can from official records of complaints or lawsuits. You give up a lot of freedoms when you move into a place like this, and you want to make sure you're yielding to the right folks.

ldb

It's interesting but there's an adult place in Pennsylvania that caters to model railroaders

@kristens I found that particular home on an internet search. Also, it seems like a lot of retirement facilities are catering to meaningful hobbies and interests. One was for model railroaders, another had a complete woodworking shop, etc. As the baby boomers start moving into them, we may see more of these homes providing recreational/hobby oriented features rather than just a place to play cards and vegetate!!

I think @LDB ‘s comment strikes a huge chord of agreement with me. I’m disabled from birth, with spina bifida. In my early 20's, I was sent by my parents to live in a group home in Pennsylvania. It was run by the local SBA chapter, but allowed young adults of other disabilities. The hygiene was horrendous and the social skills were mindnumbing. Indeed, there is not enough privacy to do your own thing, unless you can get a paratransit ride to something you like (for me, soccer and gymnastics down in the city of Pittsburgh, PA). And there were no “hobby rooms” as was mentioned in this thread. I was lonely even though I was surrounded by people.

Every so often, they would organize outings, but there was never any option to stay home. We went to an amusement park nearby, a Moody Blues concert (which I kind of liked, but everybody else liked Brittney Spears or whoever was popular with teenagers back then (even though the grouphome had no teens), and a Steelers training camp (horrible humidity, kind of bad view, and not something I follow anyway, really).

They would also take us to employment fairs and such. Bayer even hosted us and talked with us about what they do at their huge campus west of town. Cool bunch of people at Bayer, but I didn't feel very skilled for anything there.