Here are a few real stories I collected from the internet and social media related to this topic. I really love these scenarios especially when the students are male and same age group as the patient. Anyone here have similar interest or experiences?
""Yup, this actually happened to my 18 year old niece on her first ever gynecological appointment. My sister is livid. I can't say that I blame her, but would love to know what you guys think.
Ok here is what happened:
First let me begin by saying that my niece is what I'd call "a young 18". She's very bright, does well in school, but is a bit shy and on the naive side. Which is why it's a very good thing that she and my sister are so close. My niece tells my sister everything, including the fact that she feels 'ready' to go a little farther in her relationship with a young man (same age) that she's been dating for over 6 months.
They of course, had a long talk about it, the pros and the cons, ect. but in the end, my sister agreed to take her to a gynecologist for contraception as well as a routine type exam. My niece of course, was a bit nervous and resisted seeing my sister's regular OB/GYN. She insisted upon a female doctor whose practice is some distance away.
My sister didn't go in for the actual exam because my niece wanted it that way. On the way home, prescription for 'the pill' in hand, my niece seemed unusually quiet. Finally my niece tearfully opened up to my sister about how 'a man' had examined her in addition to the female doctor. Apparently this guy was some sort of medical student or trainee.
Ok, I realize that medical students need to learn, but what makes this incident egregious imo, is that 1) Not only was my niece not asked if it'd be ok, 2) The female doctor didn't even bother to introduce this guy to my niece as a trainee (or whatever). We still don't know exactly who this guy was to be honest. My niece said that he had no nametag on anything to indicate who he was and what level of training he had had. Plus she had specifically wanted only a woman to examine her.
Apparently during the pelvic exam, the female doctor had him sitting right next to her on a stool, explaining the steps, and then handed the speculum to him so that he could "try". My niece said it hurt when he collected the pap sample. The doctor also allowed this random guy to do an internal exam by hand.
You may be wondering why my niece didn't speak up in protest. But please keep in mind that this was her first time, she has a tendency to defer to adults in authority, was very nervous, and just plain didn't know how to handle the situation. All of this happened yesterday, and the office was closed for the weekend by the time my sister learned of what had happened. But she is seriously considering calling the doctor's office on Monday to complain.
I've been doing some googling about this. Most of the cases cited where about trainees who were asked to give pelvic exams to anesthetized patients in teaching hospitals. Patients who had not consented. Apparently this sort of thing happens shockingly often. Oh, and surprise, surprise-- It's much more common a practice for poor women and minorities .Some of these teaching hospitals have tried to justify this practice by saying a woman "implies consent" by the very fact that she agreed to medical care in a teaching hospital.
In the case of my niece however, this was *not* a teaching hospital but a private practice. I did find some useful info in one PDF file. From what I can tell, nothing illegal had occurred. However, in that file, the info went into great detail about the ethics of this practice- (or lack thereof) including cases like my niece's when the patient is conscious. I'd post the link- but I'm having trouble with it.
Sorry this is so long, but if you've read this far, is my sister and niece right to be upset? What do you think? My poor niece says she felt 'violated'."
___________________
"I recently went in for a IUD placement. After searching for a female doctor after having poor experiences with male doctors this was important to me. I am also only 17, this being my first experience with a gynecologist I was already nervous for my appointment. A male med student had come in to take my history. Silently hoping he wouldn't be present for the rest of the visit. My doctor then came into the room. I get into the stirrups and she began the procedure as the med student stood on the other side of the room. Which I had settled with because he couldn't see anything. He then started to come closer and peak over her shoulder, making me horribly uncomfortable. I never consented to this. After a minute or so he asked doctor if he could stand behind her to watch. My heart sank, I'm 17, doing this for the first time by myself. She asked me if it was okay after he had already been looking over her shoulder, feeling pressured I said okay. I left the appointment feeling unsafe and violated. This being my first experience with a gynecologist I am scared to ever go back"
___________________
""My experience at Dr. **** was bittersweet. I made my appointment in July. In between then and the actual date of the appointment (a month's time), I had an appointment with my primary care physician who mentioned that SHE sees Dr. ****. Needless to say, my trust and expectations in Dr. Offer greatly increased, especially with such good Yelp reviews.
I went for my actual appointment, and the intake nurse was very friendly. She informed me that before Dr. **** was going to come in, a medical student would be coming in to ask me some questions. She let me know that he was male, and asked me if I was okay with that. I agreed, but also asked her if the male student would also be there for the actual exam, to which she said no, he would leave. I replied, "Okay, that's good."
The male student came in, asked me questions about my health, what was happening, and why I came in (routine visit, just a pap smear), and left. He was nice enough, but I was glad he wouldn't be in the room while my feet were in the stirrups. I chose a female obgyn for a reason--I feel more comfortable when it's a woman and not a man down there.
Then, Dr. **** came in the room for my exam. AND SO DID THE MALE STUDENT. AND THE INTAKE NURSE. I was a bit confused, and not sure what was going on, and before I knew it, the exam was happening. That's right, three people got to stare at me with my feet up in the stirrups. I suppose I could have spoken up and asked that my nether regions not be made into a spectacle (three's a crowd, after all), but my head was swimming and I suppose my disbelief kept my mouth shut.
Dr. **** was knowledgeable, polite, and I felt in good hands with her as my doctor, but the fact that the intake nurse outright LIED to me when I asked her if the male med student would be in the room during the exam was horrible. If future visits entail just me and the doctor, and less of an audience, everything will be wonderful, and Dr. Offer will get the 5 stars from me that SHE deserves. But if I'm again told there will not be a male student in the room during my exam and one shows up, I may walk out on the spot. In a paper gown.
tl;dr - If you're uncomfortable with a male in the room during your exam, SPEAK UP EARLY."
___________________
""Women hate the whole pelvic exam thing..at least I know I do..a lot. The straps and bright lights and awkward conversations are totally non-cool man....ANYWAY, this is why I prefer female OBGYNs...
My little visit to my favorite place today though *cough* ..was particularly uncomfortable for me when the ▪️uninvited▪️male intern was overly (and quite obviously) trying to get a REAALLY good look while my normal doctor was doing the stupid thing...😳😩🙈
Sometimes I wish I had a bigger voice because I would have kicked him out the second he walked in the room lol. That was a super long 30 seconds... annnnd we can just erase that from ever happening. K?cool. #NiceGirlProblems #GuardTheYouWho #CreepyIntern #LayOffTheGoodsBro 😒"
"this guy was just too obvious. Like dude you don't have to look that hard! I know it's just a private part and we all have them but to me it's super embarassing. Lol"
___________________
"I think we should be asked when there are interns. For whatever reason it seems I become a guinea pig in the medical department. No matter where I go..it's lame."
"At the time I wrote my first comment here I was just starting to research the effects of pap smears, having a feeling that the test might have started my symptoms. This is how I came across your blog. Meanwhile I did A LOT of reading, especially here and I realized that they harmed me big time with that invasive useless procedure!
I really hope that the instruments were not infected but one thing I know: the nurse who did it was very rough and she scraped my cervix too much (for I was bleeding that day a little) and she also performed a completely unnecessary and uncalled for pelvic exam - she stuck her fingers up my ovaries to "check" them out. Very stupid of her! My ovaries were totally fine before, completely asymptomatic and now I have a lot of pain around my right one, especially during my cycle but not only. She totally inflamed my whole pelvic area, which (I figured on my own) is the reason I have been bleeding so much...my body is trying to heal itself by sending increased blood flow to the affected area. I really hope that my cervix has healed after was scraped :😃
The reason I was thinking I have to go back is because the test came back "abnormal" and scared the living soul out of me but that was before I realized I shouldn't have done a vaginal douche the day before test. Duh! I was totally uninformed. There is NO way I'm going back. EVER!
I definitely have the PTSD since the experience was horrifying in itself. I had a young male medical student assist the whole thing 😳
If I had any idea how unreliable this test is, and how low actually the incidence of cervical cancer is, I would have never bothered.
At least is not too late now. They won't get to butcher or touch me again. I just have to figure out how to heal and feel normal again.
p.s. - the nurse made a comment that was supposed to be funny, afterwards...something like "now we know each other on an intimate level" :😃 Really?
Yes, the nurse asked in the beginning if I was ok with the student assisting the exam but...I just couldn't say no...I know it sounds stupid and awful but I felt powerless at the time. I figured I will never see that man again and is for medical purpose, just one of those situations...like when you give birth you don't have another choice other than spreading your legs in front of your doctor, whoever that might be on service that day... Now I am more empowered and knowledgeable but what happened, happened. I let it go.
Thanks for your advice and resources! I now advocate and send women links to your site for information. Good job"
___________________
"I just went to go see my new gynecologist, and I love her.
She patiently answered all of my paranoid questions (I've been having some odd IUD-related cramping, but all is well!), was engaging and even funny, but most of all instilled a sense of safety and confidence in me.
I would have hugged her before she left if it wasn't for the whole naked -- and "doctor-patient" professionalism -- thing. Catch me on the right day, and I still may hug her when I go back for my follow up.
You see, despite my Vagina and Friends telling me lately, "Hey, Weezy, something's going on down here, I think we need some maintenance," (did I just make my vagina sound like George Jefferson?) I was avoiding heading to the gynecologist.
Why? Because the last time I went to the gynecologist my lady parts and I felt like "Yanni Live! at the Acropolis."
Now, I'm not particularly shy about going to the gynecologist. I scoot my little behind down to the edge of the table, I don't really care if my gown falls all willy-nilly, and I mount my feet in the stirrups like a champ. For the better part of my life I've had positive experiences at the gynecologist.
But a few years ago I went to see a gynecologist for my routine exam. He was recommended by my doctor, and didn't think twice about booking the appointment. Why would I?
The gynecologist practiced out of a major hospital -- a teaching hospital, I came to find out. It was a stark, clean, simple office with a full waiting room and had that familiar smell of anti-bacterial soap permeating the air. I actually love the smell of doctor's offices and anti-bacterial soap, so at first all felt normal and even comforting.
When the nurse called me in for my turn, we went through all the regular pre-checkup stuff: weight, blood pressure, temperature, any issues, meds, etc. Then I was lead into a exam room, given a gown, asked to undress, and left to wait. No problem there.
A few minutes later, the doctor and the same nurse came into the exam room. He was an older man, not really all that concerned with social niceties (which was okay), while at the same time very precise as to what exactly we were going to be doing that day. Again, no problem there; no matter how many times I've been to the gynecologist, I appreciate them telling me what I have to look forward to.
At one point I told the gynecologist that I was mildly concerned about how erratic my periods were, and how long they were lasting, and he quickly jotted it down on my chart and told me he'd "see what was going on." Okay.
I slid to the edge of the table, and just as my exam was about to commence, speculum in his hand, there was a quiet knock at the door. The nurse looked to the doctor, and he looked to me.
"Ms. Hung, we're a teaching hospital, so would it be okay with you if one of my students observes your exam?"
Caught a little off guard, but supposing this was the norm, I said "Sure," and the nurse let in a young woman in a white lab coat. She smiled quickly at me, introduced herself, and came around to the end of the table where the doctor was about to begin the exam. It was an odd view, to see (and feel) my doctor at work, but to also have an inquiring pair of eyes looking down, uh, INTO me.
About a minute into the exam there was another quiet knock. The nurse looked at the doctor, the doctor looked at me. The student looked IN me.
"Is it okay with you if another student observes your exam?" the doctor asked.
At this point, in the middle of my exam, feeling more than a little weird and exposed, but just wanting it to be over, I said, "Fine," and he motioned the nurse to let whoever was on the other side of the door come in.
I heard the door open and close (I was on the other side of a partition, shielding me from the door), and footsteps come in. TWO students, a young man and a young woman, entered the room at this point. They quietly, and awkwardly greeted me, introduced themselves, and took their position at the end of the table with the gynecologist. I think I muttered, "Um…okay."
I looked at them, they looked in me.
"This must be what my TV feels like," I thought. The room was now crowded with THREE medical students, my doctor talking them through what he was doing, and a nurse guarding the door. The three students stared intently down at what the doctor was doing, some with furrowed brows, leaning from side to side to better see the exam.
I wanted to tell them to pay close attention because this wasn't going to be a two-part cliffhanger, but I was too mortified to say anything. Was this really supposed to be okay? I could feel myself tensing up.
"Almost done," the doctor said.
"Try to relax," the horn-rimmed glasses wearing male student said. Under normal circumstances I would have thought he was cute, in that church camp/Wesley Crusher kind of way, but under the circumstances I just grunted, "Not so easy!" and laughed nervously.
Finally the doctor finished my exam, the students all took a step back, he gave me a quick breast exam, ("Your heart is racing," he noted) and told me the nurse would bring me to his office after I had gotten dressed.
Everyone left the room, and for the first time in 15 minutes I felt very alone.
"WHAT THE F*CK?" I said out loud.
After dressing, I exited the exam room and found the nurse waiting for me on the other side of the door. "I'll take you to the doctor's office," she said, and headed down the hallway. I followed her, though I eyed the exit as we passed it.
In the doctor's large office, I found the doctor and his posse waiting for me at a round table. They asked me to sit, so I sat. The doctor then proceeded to ask me more about my irregular periods.
As I gave him more details, the students began flipping through little paperback manuals, "Bedside Companion to Louise's Uterus" or whatever. When I had finished relaying the details of my concerns, the doctor turned to his students and asked what the problem could be.
OH, COME ON.
The formerly serious bunch sprang to life, offering various solutions as to what could be the cause of my menstrual woes.
"Endometriosis!"
"Birth control complications!"
"ALIENS"
I was beginning to wish I hadn't mentioned any of my worries to the gynecologist -- in my opinion the LAST way you should feel at a doctor's office. The teachable moment ended, and the doctor told me he suspected it was my IUD, told me some warning signs to look for, and that if things didn't improve, to see him again.
I shot out the door.
I never went back to that doctor and his good times gang. Actually, I avoided the gynecologist for years, even when I had some concerns. Probably not the wisest decision, but every time I thought about going, I'd see those three medical students intently watching MTV's "True Life: I'm Louise's Vagina."
But it was time, so I went, and I'm so glad I did. It was such a weight off of me. I got a clean bill of health, and my new doctor quieted my anxiety about gynecologists everywhere. I am so grateful to doctors like her.
In a much calmer state of mind, I look back on that awful experience where I felt on DISPLAY and wonder if I'm overreacting. I mean, I said it was okay for the students to watch the exam -- I just didn't realize what exactly that meant. I suppose I could have stopped it all at any time, but in the midst of an uncomfortable, embarrassing moment, I felt dumb saying anything.
I feel like the above words are things people have said when far worse things have happened to them when under the care of a medical professional.
To me this is a lesson in professional control. The doctor, the one who was more or less in control of the situation, should have been more aware of his patient's growing discomfort. But he either ignored it, or wasn't sensitive enough to notice. What was routine to him was not routine at all to me. He had the ultimate power to say, "You know, I think there's too many people in the room, let's give her some space," but he did nothing.
At the very least I've come away from that experience being far more comfortable with putting the kibosh on situations that trigger my gut to say, "NOT OKAY!" I suppose I can thank the Gyno Gang for that.
Has anything uncomfortable or embarrassing happened to you at the doctor's where you felt out of control? Have you ever avoided going to the doctor because of a negative experience?"
___________________
"Can we talk about how the first time I went to the gyno, before my pap smear the doctor asked if I minded students in the room & I nervously said no so then I had a male student groping my tits while another male stuHere are a few real stories I collected from the internet and social media related to this topic.
""Yup, this actually happened to my 18 year old niece on her first ever gynecological appointment. My sister is livid. I can't say that I blame her, but would love to know what you guys think.
Ok here is what happened:
First let me begin by saying that my niece is what I'd call "a young 18". She's very bright, does well in school, but is a bit shy and on the naive side. Which is why it's a very good thing that she and my sister are so close. My niece tells my sister everything, including the fact that she feels 'ready' to go a little farther in her relationship with a young man (same age) that she's been dating for over 6 months.
They of course, had a long talk about it, the pros and the cons, ect. but in the end, my sister agreed to take her to a gynecologist for contraception as well as a routine type exam. My niece of course, was a bit nervous and resisted seeing my sister's regular OB/GYN. She insisted upon a female doctor whose practice is some distance away.
My sister didn't go in for the actual exam because my niece wanted it that way. On the way home, prescription for 'the pill' in hand, my niece seemed unusually quiet. Finally my niece tearfully opened up to my sister about how 'a man' had examined her in addition to the female doctor. Apparently this guy was some sort of medical student or trainee.
Ok, I realize that medical students need to learn, but what makes this incident egregious imo, is that 1) Not only was my niece not asked if it'd be ok, 2) The female doctor didn't even bother to introduce this guy to my niece as a trainee (or whatever). We still don't know exactly who this guy was to be honest. My niece said that he had no nametag on anything to indicate who he was and what level of training he had had. Plus she had specifically wanted only a woman to examine her.
Apparently during the pelvic exam, the female doctor had him sitting right next to her on a stool, explaining the steps, and then handed the speculum to him so that he could "try". My niece said it hurt when he collected the pap sample. The doctor also allowed this random guy to do an internal exam by hand.
You may be wondering why my niece didn't speak up in protest. But please keep in mind that this was her first time, she has a tendency to defer to adults in authority, was very nervous, and just plain didn't know how to handle the situation. All of this happened yesterday, and the office was closed for the weekend by the time my sister learned of what had happened. But she is seriously considering calling the doctor's office on Monday to complain.
I've been doing some googling about this. Most of the cases cited where about trainees who were asked to give pelvic exams to anesthetized patients in teaching hospitals. Patients who had not consented. Apparently this sort of thing happens shockingly often. Oh, and surprise, surprise-- It's much more common a practice for poor women and minorities .Some of these teaching hospitals have tried to justify this practice by saying a woman "implies consent" by the very fact that she agreed to medical care in a teaching hospital.
In the case of my niece however, this was *not* a teaching hospital but a private practice. I did find some useful info in one PDF file. From what I can tell, nothing illegal had occurred. However, in that file, the info went into great detail about the ethics of this practice- (or lack thereof) including cases like my niece's when the patient is conscious. I'd post the link- but I'm having trouble with it.
Sorry this is so long, but if you've read this far, is my sister and niece right to be upset? What do you think? My poor niece says she felt 'violated'."
___________________
"I recently went in for a IUD placement. After searching for a female doctor after having poor experiences with male doctors this was important to me. I am also only 17, this being my first experience with a gynecologist I was already nervous for my appointment. A male med student had come in to take my history. Silently hoping he wouldn't be present for the rest of the visit. My doctor then came into the room. I get into the stirrups and she began the procedure as the med student stood on the other side of the room. Which I had settled with because he couldn't see anything. He then started to come closer and peak over her shoulder, making me horribly uncomfortable. I never consented to this. After a minute or so he asked doctor if he could stand behind her to watch. My heart sank, I'm 17, doing this for the first time by myself. She asked me if it was okay after he had already been looking over her shoulder, feeling pressured I said okay. I left the appointment feeling unsafe and violated. This being my first experience with a gynecologist I am scared to ever go back"
___________________
""My experience at Dr. **** was bittersweet. I made my appointment in July. In between then and the actual date of the appointment (a month's time), I had an appointment with my primary care physician who mentioned that SHE sees Dr. ****. Needless to say, my trust and expectations in Dr. Offer greatly increased, especially with such good Yelp reviews.
I went for my actual appointment, and the intake nurse was very friendly. She informed me that before Dr. **** was going to come in, a medical student would be coming in to ask me some questions. She let me know that he was male, and asked me if I was okay with that. I agreed, but also asked her if the male student would also be there for the actual exam, to which she said no, he would leave. I replied, "Okay, that's good."
The male student came in, asked me questions about my health, what was happening, and why I came in (routine visit, just a pap smear), and left. He was nice enough, but I was glad he wouldn't be in the room while my feet were in the stirrups. I chose a female obgyn for a reason--I feel more comfortable when it's a woman and not a man down there.
Then, Dr. **** came in the room for my exam. AND SO DID THE MALE STUDENT. AND THE INTAKE NURSE. I was a bit confused, and not sure what was going on, and before I knew it, the exam was happening. That's right, three people got to stare at me with my feet up in the stirrups. I suppose I could have spoken up and asked that my nether regions not be made into a spectacle (three's a crowd, after all), but my head was swimming and I suppose my disbelief kept my mouth shut.
Dr. **** was knowledgeable, polite, and I felt in good hands with her as my doctor, but the fact that the intake nurse outright LIED to me when I asked her if the male med student would be in the room during the exam was horrible. If future visits entail just me and the doctor, and less of an audience, everything will be wonderful, and Dr. Offer will get the 5 stars from me that SHE deserves. But if I'm again told there will not be a male student in the room during my exam and one shows up, I may walk out on the spot. In a paper gown.
tl;dr - If you're uncomfortable with a male in the room during your exam, SPEAK UP EARLY."
___________________
""Women hate the whole pelvic exam thing..at least I know I do..a lot. The straps and bright lights and awkward conversations are totally non-cool man....ANYWAY, this is why I prefer female OBGYNs...
My little visit to my favorite place today though *cough* ..was particularly uncomfortable for me when the ▪️uninvited▪️male intern was overly (and quite obviously) trying to get a REAALLY good look while my normal doctor was doing the stupid thing...😳😩🙈
Sometimes I wish I had a bigger voice because I would have kicked him out the second he walked in the room lol. That was a super long 30 seconds... annnnd we can just erase that from ever happening. K?cool. #NiceGirlProblems #GuardTheYouWho #CreepyIntern #LayOffTheGoodsBro 😒"
"this guy was just too obvious. Like dude you don't have to look that hard! I know it's just a private part and we all have them but to me it's super embarassing. Lol"
___________________
"I think we should be asked when there are interns. For whatever reason it seems I become a guinea pig in the medical department. No matter where I go..it's lame."
"At the time I wrote my first comment here I was just starting to research the effects of pap smears, having a feeling that the test might have started my symptoms. This is how I came across your blog. Meanwhile I did A LOT of reading, especially here and I realized that they harmed me big time with that invasive useless procedure!
I really hope that the instruments were not infected but one thing I know: the nurse who did it was very rough and she scraped my cervix too much (for I was bleeding that day a little) and she also performed a completely unnecessary and uncalled for pelvic exam - she stuck her fingers up my ovaries to "check" them out. Very stupid of her! My ovaries were totally fine before, completely asymptomatic and now I have a lot of pain around my right one, especially during my cycle but not only. She totally inflamed my whole pelvic area, which (I figured on my own) is the reason I have been bleeding so much...my body is trying to heal itself by sending increased blood flow to the affected area. I really hope that my cervix has healed after was scraped :😃
The reason I was thinking I have to go back is because the test came back "abnormal" and scared the living soul out of me but that was before I realized I shouldn't have done a vaginal douche the day before test. Duh! I was totally uninformed. There is NO way I'm going back. EVER!
I definitely have the PTSD since the experience was horrifying in itself. I had a young male medical student assist the whole thing 😳
If I had any idea how unreliable this test is, and how low actually the incidence of cervical cancer is, I would have never bothered.
At least is not too late now. They won't get to butcher or touch me again. I just have to figure out how to heal and feel normal again.
p.s. - the nurse made a comment that was supposed to be funny, afterwards...something like "now we know each other on an intimate level" :😃 Really?
Yes, the nurse asked in the beginning if I was ok with the student assisting the exam but...I just couldn't say no...I know it sounds stupid and awful but I felt powerless at the time. I figured I will never see that man again and is for medical purpose, just one of those situations...like when you give birth you don't have another choice other than spreading your legs in front of your doctor, whoever that might be on service that day... Now I am more empowered and knowledgeable but what happened, happened. I let it go.
Thanks for your advice and resources! I now advocate and send women links to your site for information. Good job"
___________________
"I just went to go see my new gynecologist, and I love her.
She patiently answered all of my paranoid questions (I've been having some odd IUD-related cramping, but all is well!), was engaging and even funny, but most of all instilled a sense of safety and confidence in me.
I would have hugged her before she left if it wasn't for the whole naked -- and "doctor-patient" professionalism -- thing. Catch me on the right day, and I still may hug her when I go back for my follow up.
You see, despite my Vagina and Friends telling me lately, "Hey, Weezy, something's going on down here, I think we need some maintenance," (did I just make my vagina sound like George Jefferson?) I was avoiding heading to the gynecologist.
Why? Because the last time I went to the gynecologist my lady parts and I felt like "Yanni Live! at the Acropolis."
Now, I'm not particularly shy about going to the gynecologist. I scoot my little behind down to the edge of the table, I don't really care if my gown falls all willy-nilly, and I mount my feet in the stirrups like a champ. For the better part of my life I've had positive experiences at the gynecologist.
But a few years ago I went to see a gynecologist for my routine exam. He was recommended by my doctor, and didn't think twice about booking the appointment. Why would I?
The gynecologist practiced out of a major hospital -- a teaching hospital, I came to find out. It was a stark, clean, simple office with a full waiting room and had that familiar smell of anti-bacterial soap permeating the air. I actually love the smell of doctor's offices and anti-bacterial soap, so at first all felt normal and even comforting.
When the nurse called me in for my turn, we went through all the regular pre-checkup stuff: weight, blood pressure, temperature, any issues, meds, etc. Then I was lead into a exam room, given a gown, asked to undress, and left to wait. No problem there.
A few minutes later, the doctor and the same nurse came into the exam room. He was an older man, not really all that concerned with social niceties (which was okay), while at the same time very precise as to what exactly we were going to be doing that day. Again, no problem there; no matter how many times I've been to the gynecologist, I appreciate them telling me what I have to look forward to.
At one point I told the gynecologist that I was mildly concerned about how erratic my periods were, and how long they were lasting, and he quickly jotted it down on my chart and told me he'd "see what was going on." Okay.
I slid to the edge of the table, and just as my exam was about to commence, speculum in his hand, there was a quiet knock at the door. The nurse looked to the doctor, and he looked to me.
"Ms. Hung, we're a teaching hospital, so would it be okay with you if one of my students observes your exam?"
Caught a little off guard, but supposing this was the norm, I said "Sure," and the nurse let in a young woman in a white lab coat. She smiled quickly at me, introduced herself, and came around to the end of the table where the doctor was about to begin the exam. It was an odd view, to see (and feel) my doctor at work, but to also have an inquiring pair of eyes looking down, uh, INTO me.
About a minute into the exam there was another quiet knock. The nurse looked at the doctor, the doctor looked at me. The student looked IN me.
"Is it okay with you if another student observes your exam?" the doctor asked.
At this point, in the middle of my exam, feeling more than a little weird and exposed, but just wanting it to be over, I said, "Fine," and he motioned the nurse to let whoever was on the other side of the door come in.
I heard the door open and close (I was on the other side of a partition, shielding me from the door), and footsteps come in. TWO students, a young man and a young woman, entered the room at this point. They quietly, and awkwardly greeted me, introduced themselves, and took their position at the end of the table with the gynecologist. I think I muttered, "Um…okay."
I looked at them, they looked in me.
"This must be what my TV feels like," I thought. The room was now crowded with THREE medical students, my doctor talking them through what he was doing, and a nurse guarding the door. The three students stared intently down at what the doctor was doing, some with furrowed brows, leaning from side to side to better see the exam.
I wanted to tell them to pay close attention because this wasn't going to be a two-part cliffhanger, but I was too mortified to say anything. Was this really supposed to be okay? I could feel myself tensing up.
"Almost done," the doctor said.
"Try to relax," the horn-rimmed glasses wearing male student said. Under normal circumstances I would have thought he was cute, in that church camp/Wesley Crusher kind of way, but under the circumstances I just grunted, "Not so easy!" and laughed nervously.
Finally the doctor finished my exam, the students all took a step back, he gave me a quick breast exam, ("Your heart is racing," he noted) and told me the nurse would bring me to his office after I had gotten dressed.
Everyone left the room, and for the first time in 15 minutes I felt very alone.
"WHAT THE F*CK?" I said out loud.
After dressing, I exited the exam room and found the nurse waiting for me on the other side of the door. "I'll take you to the doctor's office," she said, and headed down the hallway. I followed her, though I eyed the exit as we passed it.
In the doctor's large office, I found the doctor and his posse waiting for me at a round table. They asked me to sit, so I sat. The doctor then proceeded to ask me more about my irregular periods.
As I gave him more details, the students began flipping through little paperback manuals, "Bedside Companion to Louise's Uterus" or whatever. When I had finished relaying the details of my concerns, the doctor turned to his students and asked what the problem could be.
OH, COME ON.
The formerly serious bunch sprang to life, offering various solutions as to what could be the cause of my menstrual woes.
"Endometriosis!"
"Birth control complications!"
"ALIENS"
I was beginning to wish I hadn't mentioned any of my worries to the gynecologist -- in my opinion the LAST way you should feel at a doctor's office. The teachable moment ended, and the doctor told me he suspected it was my IUD, told me some warning signs to look for, and that if things didn't improve, to see him again.
I shot out the door.
I never went back to that doctor and his good times gang. Actually, I avoided the gynecologist for years, even when I had some concerns. Probably not the wisest decision, but every time I thought about going, I'd see those three medical students intently watching MTV's "True Life: I'm Louise's Vagina."
But it was time, so I went, and I'm so glad I did. It was such a weight off of me. I got a clean bill of health, and my new doctor quieted my anxiety about gynecologists everywhere. I am so grateful to doctors like her.
In a much calmer state of mind, I look back on that awful experience where I felt on DISPLAY and wonder if I'm overreacting. I mean, I said it was okay for the students to watch the exam -- I just didn't realize what exactly that meant. I suppose I could have stopped it all at any time, but in the midst of an uncomfortable, embarrassing moment, I felt dumb saying anything.
I feel like the above words are things people have said when far worse things have happened to them when under the care of a medical professional.
To me this is a lesson in professional control. The doctor, the one who was more or less in control of the situation, should have been more aware of his patient's growing discomfort. But he either ignored it, or wasn't sensitive enough to notice. What was routine to him was not routine at all to me. He had the ultimate power to say, "You know, I think there's too many people in the room, let's give her some space," but he did nothing.
At the very least I've come away from that experience being far more comfortable with putting the kibosh on situations that trigger my gut to say, "NOT OKAY!" I suppose I can thank the Gyno Gang for that.
Has anything uncomfortable or embarrassing happened to you at the doctor's where you felt out of control? Have you ever avoided going to the doctor because of a negative experience?"
___________________
"Can we talk about how the first time I went to the gyno, before my pap smear the doctor asked if I minded students in the room & I nervously said no so then I had a male student groping my tits while another male student was literally poking inside of me. Talk about PTSD"
___________________
I always go to my female doctor for female related issues but I have on one occasion had to go to the ER and I got a young male intern. I was young and I was mortified! I honestly wanted to die! I kept cursing my boyfriend (now DH) who was standing outside the ER doors since they wouldnt let him in (due to that huge epidemic at the time).dent was literally poking inside of me. Talk about PTSD"
___________________Here are a few real stories I collected from the internet and social media related to this topic.
""Yup, this actually happened to my 18 year old niece on her first ever gynecological appointment. My sister is livid. I can't say that I blame her, but would love to know what you guys think.
Ok here is what happened:
First let me begin by saying that my niece is what I'd call "a young 18". She's very bright, does well in school, but is a bit shy and on the naive side. Which is why it's a very good thing that she and my sister are so close. My niece tells my sister everything, including the fact that she feels 'ready' to go a little farther in her relationship with a young man (same age) that she's been dating for over 6 months.
They of course, had a long talk about it, the pros and the cons, ect. but in the end, my sister agreed to take her to a gynecologist for contraception as well as a routine type exam. My niece of course, was a bit nervous and resisted seeing my sister's regular OB/GYN. She insisted upon a female doctor whose practice is some distance away.
My sister didn't go in for the actual exam because my niece wanted it that way. On the way home, prescription for 'the pill' in hand, my niece seemed unusually quiet. Finally my niece tearfully opened up to my sister about how 'a man' had examined her in addition to the female doctor. Apparently this guy was some sort of medical student or trainee.
Ok, I realize that medical students need to learn, but what makes this incident egregious imo, is that 1) Not only was my niece not asked if it'd be ok, 2) The female doctor didn't even bother to introduce this guy to my niece as a trainee (or whatever). We still don't know exactly who this guy was to be honest. My niece said that he had no nametag on anything to indicate who he was and what level of training he had had. Plus she had specifically wanted only a woman to examine her.
Apparently during the pelvic exam, the female doctor had him sitting right next to her on a stool, explaining the steps, and then handed the speculum to him so that he could "try". My niece said it hurt when he collected the pap sample. The doctor also allowed this random guy to do an internal exam by hand.
You may be wondering why my niece didn't speak up in protest. But please keep in mind that this was her first time, she has a tendency to defer to adults in authority, was very nervous, and just plain didn't know how to handle the situation. All of this happened yesterday, and the office was closed for the weekend by the time my sister learned of what had happened. But she is seriously considering calling the doctor's office on Monday to complain.
I've been doing some googling about this. Most of the cases cited where about trainees who were asked to give pelvic exams to anesthetized patients in teaching hospitals. Patients who had not consented. Apparently this sort of thing happens shockingly often. Oh, and surprise, surprise-- It's much more common a practice for poor women and minorities .Some of these teaching hospitals have tried to justify this practice by saying a woman "implies consent" by the very fact that she agreed to medical care in a teaching hospital.
In the case of my niece however, this was *not* a teaching hospital but a private practice. I did find some useful info in one PDF file. From what I can tell, nothing illegal had occurred. However, in that file, the info went into great detail about the ethics of this practice- (or lack thereof) including cases like my niece's when the patient is conscious. I'd post the link- but I'm having trouble with it.
Sorry this is so long, but if you've read this far, is my sister and niece right to be upset? What do you think? My poor niece says she felt 'violated'."
___________________
"I recently went in for a IUD placement. After searching for a female doctor after having poor experiences with male doctors this was important to me. I am also only 17, this being my first experience with a gynecologist I was already nervous for my appointment. A male med student had come in to take my history. Silently hoping he wouldn't be present for the rest of the visit. My doctor then came into the room. I get into the stirrups and she began the procedure as the med student stood on the other side of the room. Which I had settled with because he couldn't see anything. He then started to come closer and peak over her shoulder, making me horribly uncomfortable. I never consented to this. After a minute or so he asked doctor if he could stand behind her to watch. My heart sank, I'm 17, doing this for the first time by myself. She asked me if it was okay after he had already been looking over her shoulder, feeling pressured I said okay. I left the appointment feeling unsafe and violated. This being my first experience with a gynecologist I am scared to ever go back"
___________________
""My experience at Dr. **** was bittersweet. I made my appointment in July. In between then and the actual date of the appointment (a month's time), I had an appointment with my primary care physician who mentioned that SHE sees Dr. ****. Needless to say, my trust and expectations in Dr. Offer greatly increased, especially with such good Yelp reviews.
I went for my actual appointment, and the intake nurse was very friendly. She informed me that before Dr. **** was going to come in, a medical student would be coming in to ask me some questions. She let me know that he was male, and asked me if I was okay with that. I agreed, but also asked her if the male student would also be there for the actual exam, to which she said no, he would leave. I replied, "Okay, that's good."
The male student came in, asked me questions about my health, what was happening, and why I came in (routine visit, just a pap smear), and left. He was nice enough, but I was glad he wouldn't be in the room while my feet were in the stirrups. I chose a female obgyn for a reason--I feel more comfortable when it's a woman and not a man down there.
Then, Dr. **** came in the room for my exam. AND SO DID THE MALE STUDENT. AND THE INTAKE NURSE. I was a bit confused, and not sure what was going on, and before I knew it, the exam was happening. That's right, three people got to stare at me with my feet up in the stirrups. I suppose I could have spoken up and asked that my nether regions not be made into a spectacle (three's a crowd, after all), but my head was swimming and I suppose my disbelief kept my mouth shut.
Dr. **** was knowledgeable, polite, and I felt in good hands with her as my doctor, but the fact that the intake nurse outright LIED to me when I asked her if the male med student would be in the room during the exam was horrible. If future visits entail just me and the doctor, and less of an audience, everything will be wonderful, and Dr. Offer will get the 5 stars from me that SHE deserves. But if I'm again told there will not be a male student in the room during my exam and one shows up, I may walk out on the spot. In a paper gown.
tl;dr - If you're uncomfortable with a male in the room during your exam, SPEAK UP EARLY."
___________________
""Women hate the whole pelvic exam thing..at least I know I do..a lot. The straps and bright lights and awkward conversations are totally non-cool man....ANYWAY, this is why I prefer female OBGYNs...
My little visit to my favorite place today though *cough* ..was particularly uncomfortable for me when the ▪️uninvited▪️male intern was overly (and quite obviously) trying to get a REAALLY good look while my normal doctor was doing the stupid thing...😳😩🙈
Sometimes I wish I had a bigger voice because I would have kicked him out the second he walked in the room lol. That was a super long 30 seconds... annnnd we can just erase that from ever happening. K?cool. #NiceGirlProblems #GuardTheYouWho #CreepyIntern #LayOffTheGoodsBro 😒"
"this guy was just too obvious. Like dude you don't have to look that hard! I know it's just a private part and we all have them but to me it's super embarassing. Lol"
___________________
"I think we should be asked when there are interns. For whatever reason it seems I become a guinea pig in the medical department. No matter where I go..it's lame."
"At the time I wrote my first comment here I was just starting to research the effects of pap smears, having a feeling that the test might have started my symptoms. This is how I came across your blog. Meanwhile I did A LOT of reading, especially here and I realized that they harmed me big time with that invasive useless procedure!
I really hope that the instruments were not infected but one thing I know: the nurse who did it was very rough and she scraped my cervix too much (for I was bleeding that day a little) and she also performed a completely unnecessary and uncalled for pelvic exam - she stuck her fingers up my ovaries to "check" them out. Very stupid of her! My ovaries were totally fine before, completely asymptomatic and now I have a lot of pain around my right one, especially during my cycle but not only. She totally inflamed my whole pelvic area, which (I figured on my own) is the reason I have been bleeding so much...my body is trying to heal itself by sending increased blood flow to the affected area. I really hope that my cervix has healed after was scraped :😃
The reason I was thinking I have to go back is because the test came back "abnormal" and scared the living soul out of me but that was before I realized I shouldn't have done a vaginal douche the day before test. Duh! I was totally uninformed. There is NO way I'm going back. EVER!
I definitely have the PTSD since the experience was horrifying in itself. I had a young male medical student assist the whole thing 😳
If I had any idea how unreliable this test is, and how low actually the incidence of cervical cancer is, I would have never bothered.
At least is not too late now. They won't get to butcher or touch me again. I just have to figure out how to heal and feel normal again.
p.s. - the nurse made a comment that was supposed to be funny, afterwards...something like "now we know each other on an intimate level" :😃 Really?
Yes, the nurse asked in the beginning if I was ok with the student assisting the exam but...I just couldn't say no...I know it sounds stupid and awful but I felt powerless at the time. I figured I will never see that man again and is for medical purpose, just one of those situations...like when you give birth you don't have another choice other than spreading your legs in front of your doctor, whoever that might be on service that day... Now I am more empowered and knowledgeable but what happened, happened. I let it go.
Thanks for your advice and resources! I now advocate and send women links to your site for information. Good job"
___________________
"I just went to go see my new gynecologist, and I love her.
She patiently answered all of my paranoid questions (I've been having some odd IUD-related cramping, but all is well!), was engaging and even funny, but most of all instilled a sense of safety and confidence in me.
I would have hugged her before she left if it wasn't for the whole naked -- and "doctor-patient" professionalism -- thing. Catch me on the right day, and I still may hug her when I go back for my follow up.
You see, despite my Vagina and Friends telling me lately, "Hey, Weezy, something's going on down here, I think we need some maintenance," (did I just make my vagina sound like George Jefferson?) I was avoiding heading to the gynecologist.
Why? Because the last time I went to the gynecologist my lady parts and I felt like "Yanni Live! at the Acropolis."
Now, I'm not particularly shy about going to the gynecologist. I scoot my little behind down to the edge of the table, I don't really care if my gown falls all willy-nilly, and I mount my feet in the stirrups like a champ. For the better part of my life I've had positive experiences at the gynecologist.
But a few years ago I went to see a gynecologist for my routine exam. He was recommended by my doctor, and didn't think twice about booking the appointment. Why would I?
The gynecologist practiced out of a major hospital -- a teaching hospital, I came to find out. It was a stark, clean, simple office with a full waiting room and had that familiar smell of anti-bacterial soap permeating the air. I actually love the smell of doctor's offices and anti-bacterial soap, so at first all felt normal and even comforting.
When the nurse called me in for my turn, we went through all the regular pre-checkup stuff: weight, blood pressure, temperature, any issues, meds, etc. Then I was lead into a exam room, given a gown, asked to undress, and left to wait. No problem there.
A few minutes later, the doctor and the same nurse came into the exam room. He was an older man, not really all that concerned with social niceties (which was okay), while at the same time very precise as to what exactly we were going to be doing that day. Again, no problem there; no matter how many times I've been to the gynecologist, I appreciate them telling me what I have to look forward to.
At one point I told the gynecologist that I was mildly concerned about how erratic my periods were, and how long they were lasting, and he quickly jotted it down on my chart and told me he'd "see what was going on." Okay.
I slid to the edge of the table, and just as my exam was about to commence, speculum in his hand, there was a quiet knock at the door. The nurse looked to the doctor, and he looked to me.
"Ms. Hung, we're a teaching hospital, so would it be okay with you if one of my students observes your exam?"
Caught a little off guard, but supposing this was the norm, I said "Sure," and the nurse let in a young woman in a white lab coat. She smiled quickly at me, introduced herself, and came around to the end of the table where the doctor was about to begin the exam. It was an odd view, to see (and feel) my doctor at work, but to also have an inquiring pair of eyes looking down, uh, INTO me.
About a minute into the exam there was another quiet knock. The nurse looked at the doctor, the doctor looked at me. The student looked IN me.
"Is it okay with you if another student observes your exam?" the doctor asked.
At this point, in the middle of my exam, feeling more than a little weird and exposed, but just wanting it to be over, I said, "Fine," and he motioned the nurse to let whoever was on the other side of the door come in.
I heard the door open and close (I was on the other side of a partition, shielding me from the door), and footsteps come in. TWO students, a young man and a young woman, entered the room at this point. They quietly, and awkwardly greeted me, introduced themselves, and took their position at the end of the table with the gynecologist. I think I muttered, "Um…okay."
I looked at them, they looked in me.
"This must be what my TV feels like," I thought. The room was now crowded with THREE medical students, my doctor talking them through what he was doing, and a nurse guarding the door. The three students stared intently down at what the doctor was doing, some with furrowed brows, leaning from side to side to better see the exam.
I wanted to tell them to pay close attention because this wasn't going to be a two-part cliffhanger, but I was too mortified to say anything. Was this really supposed to be okay? I could feel myself tensing up.
"Almost done," the doctor said.
"Try to relax," the horn-rimmed glasses wearing male student said. Under normal circumstances I would have thought he was cute, in that church camp/Wesley Crusher kind of way, but under the circumstances I just grunted, "Not so easy!" and laughed nervously.
Finally the doctor finished my exam, the students all took a step back, he gave me a quick breast exam, ("Your heart is racing," he noted) and told me the nurse would bring me to his office after I had gotten dressed.
Everyone left the room, and for the first time in 15 minutes I felt very alone.
"WHAT THE F*CK?" I said out loud.
After dressing, I exited the exam room and found the nurse waiting for me on the other side of the door. "I'll take you to the doctor's office," she said, and headed down the hallway. I followed her, though I eyed the exit as we passed it.
In the doctor's large office, I found the doctor and his posse waiting for me at a round table. They asked me to sit, so I sat. The doctor then proceeded to ask me more about my irregular periods.
As I gave him more details, the students began flipping through little paperback manuals, "Bedside Companion to Louise's Uterus" or whatever. When I had finished relaying the details of my concerns, the doctor turned to his students and asked what the problem could be.
OH, COME ON.
The formerly serious bunch sprang to life, offering various solutions as to what could be the cause of my menstrual woes.
"Endometriosis!"
"Birth control complications!"
"ALIENS"
I was beginning to wish I hadn't mentioned any of my worries to the gynecologist -- in my opinion the LAST way you should feel at a doctor's office. The teachable moment ended, and the doctor told me he suspected it was my IUD, told me some warning signs to look for, and that if things didn't improve, to see him again.
I shot out the door.
I never went back to that doctor and his good times gang. Actually, I avoided the gynecologist for years, even when I had some concerns. Probably not the wisest decision, but every time I thought about going, I'd see those three medical students intently watching MTV's "True Life: I'm Louise's Vagina."
But it was time, so I went, and I'm so glad I did. It was such a weight off of me. I got a clean bill of health, and my new doctor quieted my anxiety about gynecologists everywhere. I am so grateful to doctors like her.
In a much calmer state of mind, I look back on that awful experience where I felt on DISPLAY and wonder if I'm overreacting. I mean, I said it was okay for the students to watch the exam -- I just didn't realize what exactly that meant. I suppose I could have stopped it all at any time, but in the midst of an uncomfortable, embarrassing moment, I felt dumb saying anything.
I feel like the above words are things people have said when far worse things have happened to them when under the care of a medical professional.
To me this is a lesson in professional control. The doctor, the one who was more or less in control of the situation, should have been more aware of his patient's growing discomfort. But he either ignored it, or wasn't sensitive enough to notice. What was routine to him was not routine at all to me. He had the ultimate power to say, "You know, I think there's too many people in the room, let's give her some space," but he did nothing.
At the very least I've come away from that experience being far more comfortable with putting the kibosh on situations that trigger my gut to say, "NOT OKAY!" I suppose I can thank the Gyno Gang for that.
Has anything uncomfortable or embarrassing happened to you at the doctor's where you felt out of control? Have you ever avoided going to the doctor because of a negative experience?"
___________________
"Can we talk about how the first time I went to the gyno, before my pap smear the doctor asked if I minded students in the room & I nervously said no so then I had a male student groping my tits while another male stuHere are a few real stories I collected from the internet and social media related to this topic.
""Yup, this actually happened to my 18 year old niece on her first ever gynecological appointment. My sister is livid. I can't say that I blame her, but would love to know what you guys think.
Ok here is what happened:
First let me begin by saying that my niece is what I'd call "a young 18". She's very bright, does well in school, but is a bit shy and on the naive side. Which is why it's a very good thing that she and my sister are so close. My niece tells my sister everything, including the fact that she feels 'ready' to go a little farther in her relationship with a young man (same age) that she's been dating for over 6 months.
They of course, had a long talk about it, the pros and the cons, ect. but in the end, my sister agreed to take her to a gynecologist for contraception as well as a routine type exam. My niece of course, was a bit nervous and resisted seeing my sister's regular OB/GYN. She insisted upon a female doctor whose practice is some distance away.
My sister didn't go in for the actual exam because my niece wanted it that way. On the way home, prescription for 'the pill' in hand, my niece seemed unusually quiet. Finally my niece tearfully opened up to my sister about how 'a man' had examined her in addition to the female doctor. Apparently this guy was some sort of medical student or trainee.
Ok, I realize that medical students need to learn, but what makes this incident egregious imo, is that 1) Not only was my niece not asked if it'd be ok, 2) The female doctor didn't even bother to introduce this guy to my niece as a trainee (or whatever). We still don't know exactly who this guy was to be honest. My niece said that he had no nametag on anything to indicate who he was and what level of training he had had. Plus she had specifically wanted only a woman to examine her.
Apparently during the pelvic exam, the female doctor had him sitting right next to her on a stool, explaining the steps, and then handed the speculum to him so that he could "try". My niece said it hurt when he collected the pap sample. The doctor also allowed this random guy to do an internal exam by hand.
You may be wondering why my niece didn't speak up in protest. But please keep in mind that this was her first time, she has a tendency to defer to adults in authority, was very nervous, and just plain didn't know how to handle the situation. All of this happened yesterday, and the office was closed for the weekend by the time my sister learned of what had happened. But she is seriously considering calling the doctor's office on Monday to complain.
I've been doing some googling about this. Most of the cases cited where about trainees who were asked to give pelvic exams to anesthetized patients in teaching hospitals. Patients who had not consented. Apparently this sort of thing happens shockingly often. Oh, and surprise, surprise-- It's much more common a practice for poor women and minorities .Some of these teaching hospitals have tried to justify this practice by saying a woman "implies consent" by the very fact that she agreed to medical care in a teaching hospital.
In the case of my niece however, this was *not* a teaching hospital but a private practice. I did find some useful info in one PDF file. From what I can tell, nothing illegal had occurred. However, in that file, the info went into great detail about the ethics of this practice- (or lack thereof) including cases like my niece's when the patient is conscious. I'd post the link- but I'm having trouble with it.
Sorry this is so long, but if you've read this far, is my sister and niece right to be upset? What do you think? My poor niece says she felt 'violated'."
___________________
"I recently went in for a IUD placement. After searching for a female doctor after having poor experiences with male doctors this was important to me. I am also only 17, this being my first experience with a gynecologist I was already nervous for my appointment. A male med student had come in to take my history. Silently hoping he wouldn't be present for the rest of the visit. My doctor then came into the room. I get into the stirrups and she began the procedure as the med student stood on the other side of the room. Which I had settled with because he couldn't see anything. He then started to come closer and peak over her shoulder, making me horribly uncomfortable. I never consented to this. After a minute or so he asked doctor if he could stand behind her to watch. My heart sank, I'm 17, doing this for the first time by myself. She asked me if it was okay after he had already been looking over her shoulder, feeling pressured I said okay. I left the appointment feeling unsafe and violated. This being my first experience with a gynecologist I am scared to ever go back"
___________________
""My experience at Dr. **** was bittersweet. I made my appointment in July. In between then and the actual date of the appointment (a month's time), I had an appointment with my primary care physician who mentioned that SHE sees Dr. ****. Needless to say, my trust and expectations in Dr. Offer greatly increased, especially with such good Yelp reviews.
I went for my actual appointment, and the intake nurse was very friendly. She informed me that before Dr. **** was going to come in, a medical student would be coming in to ask me some questions. She let me know that he was male, and asked me if I was okay with that. I agreed, but also asked her if the male student would also be there for the actual exam, to which she said no, he would leave. I replied, "Okay, that's good."
The male student came in, asked me questions about my health, what was happening, and why I came in (routine visit, just a pap smear), and left. He was nice enough, but I was glad he wouldn't be in the room while my feet were in the stirrups. I chose a female obgyn for a reason--I feel more comfortable when it's a woman and not a man down there.
Then, Dr. **** came in the room for my exam. AND SO DID THE MALE STUDENT. AND THE INTAKE NURSE. I was a bit confused, and not sure what was going on, and before I knew it, the exam was happening. That's right, three people got to stare at me with my feet up in the stirrups. I suppose I could have spoken up and asked that my nether regions not be made into a spectacle (three's a crowd, after all), but my head was swimming and I suppose my disbelief kept my mouth shut.
Dr. **** was knowledgeable, polite, and I felt in good hands with her as my doctor, but the fact that the intake nurse outright LIED to me when I asked her if the male med student would be in the room during the exam was horrible. If future visits entail just me and the doctor, and less of an audience, everything will be wonderful, and Dr. Offer will get the 5 stars from me that SHE deserves. But if I'm again told there will not be a male student in the room during my exam and one shows up, I may walk out on the spot. In a paper gown.
tl;dr - If you're uncomfortable with a male in the room during your exam, SPEAK UP EARLY."
___________________
""Women hate the whole pelvic exam thing..at least I know I do..a lot. The straps and bright lights and awkward conversations are totally non-cool man....ANYWAY, this is why I prefer female OBGYNs...
My little visit to my favorite place today though *cough* ..was particularly uncomfortable for me when the ▪️uninvited▪️male intern was overly (and quite obviously) trying to get a REAALLY good look while my normal doctor was doing the stupid thing...😳😩🙈
Sometimes I wish I had a bigger voice because I would have kicked him out the second he walked in the room lol. That was a super long 30 seconds... annnnd we can just erase that from ever happening. K?cool. #NiceGirlProblems #GuardTheYouWho #CreepyIntern #LayOffTheGoodsBro 😒"
"this guy was just too obvious. Like dude you don't have to look that hard! I know it's just a private part and we all have them but to me it's super embarassing. Lol"
___________________
"I think we should be asked when there are interns. For whatever reason it seems I become a guinea pig in the medical department. No matter where I go..it's lame."
"At the time I wrote my first comment here I was just starting to research the effects of pap smears, having a feeling that the test might have started my symptoms. This is how I came across your blog. Meanwhile I did A LOT of reading, especially here and I realized that they harmed me big time with that invasive useless procedure!
I really hope that the instruments were not infected but one thing I know: the nurse who did it was very rough and she scraped my cervix too much (for I was bleeding that day a little) and she also performed a completely unnecessary and uncalled for pelvic exam - she stuck her fingers up my ovaries to "check" them out. Very stupid of her! My ovaries were totally fine before, completely asymptomatic and now I have a lot of pain around my right one, especially during my cycle but not only. She totally inflamed my whole pelvic area, which (I figured on my own) is the reason I have been bleeding so much...my body is trying to heal itself by sending increased blood flow to the affected area. I really hope that my cervix has healed after was scraped :😃
The reason I was thinking I have to go back is because the test came back "abnormal" and scared the living soul out of me but that was before I realized I shouldn't have done a vaginal douche the day before test. Duh! I was totally uninformed. There is NO way I'm going back. EVER!
I definitely have the PTSD since the experience was horrifying in itself. I had a young male medical student assist the whole thing 😳
If I had any idea how unreliable this test is, and how low actually the incidence of cervical cancer is, I would have never bothered.
At least is not too late now. They won't get to butcher or touch me again. I just have to figure out how to heal and feel normal again.
p.s. - the nurse made a comment that was supposed to be funny, afterwards...something like "now we know each other on an intimate level" :😃 Really?
Yes, the nurse asked in the beginning if I was ok with the student assisting the exam but...I just couldn't say no...I know it sounds stupid and awful but I felt powerless at the time. I figured I will never see that man again and is for medical purpose, just one of those situations...like when you give birth you don't have another choice other than spreading your legs in front of your doctor, whoever that might be on service that day... Now I am more empowered and knowledgeable but what happened, happened. I let it go.
Thanks for your advice and resources! I now advocate and send women links to your site for information. Good job"
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"I just went to go see my new gynecologist, and I love her.
She patiently answered all of my paranoid questions (I've been having some odd IUD-related cramping, but all is well!), was engaging and even funny, but most of all instilled a sense of safety and confidence in me.
I would have hugged her before she left if it wasn't for the whole naked -- and "doctor-patient" professionalism -- thing. Catch me on the right day, and I still may hug her when I go back for my follow up.
You see, despite my Vagina and Friends telling me lately, "Hey, Weezy, something's going on down here, I think we need some maintenance," (did I just make my vagina sound like George Jefferson?) I was avoiding heading to the gynecologist.
Why? Because the last time I went to the gynecologist my lady parts and I felt like "Yanni Live! at the Acropolis."
Now, I'm not particularly shy about going to the gynecologist. I scoot my little behind down to the edge of the table, I don't really care if my gown falls all willy-nilly, and I mount my feet in the stirrups like a champ. For the better part of my life I've had positive experiences at the gynecologist.
But a few years ago I went to see a gynecologist for my routine exam. He was recommended by my doctor, and didn't think twice about booking the appointment. Why would I?
The gynecologist practiced out of a major hospital -- a teaching hospital, I came to find out. It was a stark, clean, simple office with a full waiting room and had that familiar smell of anti-bacterial soap permeating the air. I actually love the smell of doctor's offices and anti-bacterial soap, so at first all felt normal and even comforting.
When the nurse called me in for my turn, we went through all the regular pre-checkup stuff: weight, blood pressure, temperature, any issues, meds, etc. Then I was lead into a exam room, given a gown, asked to undress, and left to wait. No problem there.
A few minutes later, the doctor and the same nurse came into the exam room. He was an older man, not really all that concerned with social niceties (which was okay), while at the same time very precise as to what exactly we were going to be doing that day. Again, no problem there; no matter how many times I've been to the gynecologist, I appreciate them telling me what I have to look forward to.
At one point I told the gynecologist that I was mildly concerned about how erratic my periods were, and how long they were lasting, and he quickly jotted it down on my chart and told me he'd "see what was going on." Okay.
I slid to the edge of the table, and just as my exam was about to commence, speculum in his hand, there was a quiet knock at the door. The nurse looked to the doctor, and he looked to me.
"Ms. Hung, we're a teaching hospital, so would it be okay with you if one of my students observes your exam?"
Caught a little off guard, but supposing this was the norm, I said "Sure," and the nurse let in a young woman in a white lab coat. She smiled quickly at me, introduced herself, and came around to the end of the table where the doctor was about to begin the exam. It was an odd view, to see (and feel) my doctor at work, but to also have an inquiring pair of eyes looking down, uh, INTO me.
About a minute into the exam there was another quiet knock. The nurse looked at the doctor, the doctor looked at me. The student looked IN me.
"Is it okay with you if another student observes your exam?" the doctor asked.
At this point, in the middle of my exam, feeling more than a little weird and exposed, but just wanting it to be over, I said, "Fine," and he motioned the nurse to let whoever was on the other side of the door come in.
I heard the door open and close (I was on the other side of a partition, shielding me from the door), and footsteps come in. TWO students, a young man and a young woman, entered the room at this point. They quietly, and awkwardly greeted me, introduced themselves, and took their position at the end of the table with the gynecologist. I think I muttered, "Um…okay."
I looked at them, they looked in me.
"This must be what my TV feels like," I thought. The room was now crowded with THREE medical students, my doctor talking them through what he was doing, and a nurse guarding the door. The three students stared intently down at what the doctor was doing, some with furrowed brows, leaning from side to side to better see the exam.
I wanted to tell them to pay close attention because this wasn't going to be a two-part cliffhanger, but I was too mortified to say anything. Was this really supposed to be okay? I could feel myself tensing up.
"Almost done," the doctor said.
"Try to relax," the horn-rimmed glasses wearing male student said. Under normal circumstances I would have thought he was cute, in that church camp/Wesley Crusher kind of way, but under the circumstances I just grunted, "Not so easy!" and laughed nervously.
Finally the doctor finished my exam, the students all took a step back, he gave me a quick breast exam, ("Your heart is racing," he noted) and told me the nurse would bring me to his office after I had gotten dressed.
Everyone left the room, and for the first time in 15 minutes I felt very alone.
"WHAT THE F*CK?" I said out loud.
After dressing, I exited the exam room and found the nurse waiting for me on the other side of the door. "I'll take you to the doctor's office," she said, and headed down the hallway. I followed her, though I eyed the exit as we passed it.
In the doctor's large office, I found the doctor and his posse waiting for me at a round table. They asked me to sit, so I sat. The doctor then proceeded to ask me more about my irregular periods.
As I gave him more details, the students began flipping through little paperback manuals, "Bedside Companion to Louise's Uterus" or whatever. When I had finished relaying the details of my concerns, the doctor turned to his students and asked what the problem could be.
OH, COME ON.
The formerly serious bunch sprang to life, offering various solutions as to what could be the cause of my menstrual woes.
"Endometriosis!"
"Birth control complications!"
"ALIENS"
I was beginning to wish I hadn't mentioned any of my worries to the gynecologist -- in my opinion the LAST way you should feel at a doctor's office. The teachable moment ended, and the doctor told me he suspected it was my IUD, told me some warning signs to look for, and that if things didn't improve, to see him again.
I shot out the door.
I never went back to that doctor and his good times gang. Actually, I avoided the gynecologist for years, even when I had some concerns. Probably not the wisest decision, but every time I thought about going, I'd see those three medical students intently watching MTV's "True Life: I'm Louise's Vagina."
But it was time, so I went, and I'm so glad I did. It was such a weight off of me. I got a clean bill of health, and my new doctor quieted my anxiety about gynecologists everywhere. I am so grateful to doctors like her.
In a much calmer state of mind, I look back on that awful experience where I felt on DISPLAY and wonder if I'm overreacting. I mean, I said it was okay for the students to watch the exam -- I just didn't realize what exactly that meant. I suppose I could have stopped it all at any time, but in the midst of an uncomfortable, embarrassing moment, I felt dumb saying anything.
I feel like the above words are things people have said when far worse things have happened to them when under the care of a medical professional.
To me this is a lesson in professional control. The doctor, the one who was more or less in control of the situation, should have been more aware of his patient's growing discomfort. But he either ignored it, or wasn't sensitive enough to notice. What was routine to him was not routine at all to me. He had the ultimate power to say, "You know, I think there's too many people in the room, let's give her some space," but he did nothing.
At the very least I've come away from that experience being far more comfortable with putting the kibosh on situations that trigger my gut to say, "NOT OKAY!" I suppose I can thank the Gyno Gang for that.
Has anything uncomfortable or embarrassing happened to you at the doctor's where you felt out of control? Have you ever avoided going to the doctor because of a negative experience?"
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"Can we talk about how the first time I went to the gyno, before my pap smear the doctor asked if I minded students in the room & I nervously said no so then I had a male student groping my tits while another male student was literally poking inside of me. Talk about PTSD"
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I always go to my female doctor for female related issues but I have on one occasion had to go to the ER and I got a young male intern. I was young and I was mortified! I honestly wanted to die! I kept cursing my boyfriend (now DH) who was standing outside the ER doors since they wouldnt let him in (due to that huge epidemic at the time).dent was literally poking inside of me. Talk about PTSD"
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I always go to my female doctor for female related issues but I have on one occasion had to go to the ER and I got a young male intern. I was young and I was mortified! I honestly wanted to die! I kept cursing my boyfriend (now DH) who was standing outside the ER doors since they wouldnt let him in (due to that huge epidemic at the time).
I always go to my female doctor for female related issues but I have on one occasion had to go to the ER and I got a young male intern. I was young and I was mortified! I honestly wanted to die! I kept cursing my boyfriend (now DH) who was standing outside the ER doors since they wouldnt let him in (due to that huge epidemic at the time).