New domme/sub relationship

So my wife and I finally started to open up and be honest about things.

Truth be told I'm more sub and she is apparently more of a domme. We hadn't really considered it that way but when we started playing it this way, things got crazy intense, fun, amazing to be honest.

Long story short, though we've been playing and having fun. I'm not being fulfilled completely. She gets to control the aspects she wants but I don't get what I need to feel like this is worth it to me. In short, I'd like to be in diapers and get spanked and have rights taken from me and so on. I don't want to push her or top from the bottom but I can't help but feel like something isn't quite right in it all.

Again we are new to this dynamic and still figuring it out. I'd love feed back

“So my wife and I finally started to open up and be honest about things.”

That is the key. A dom/sub relationship is a negotiation where each person needs to communicate what their needs are and what they will and will not accept. Hopefully, what you want/need she will supply. You also need to listen to her wants/needs. Good luck to the both of you.

For starters, welcome to kink, and welcome to our community.

I'll echo @GreyDesigner here. D/s relationships - like, actually, any relationship: kink, ‘nilla, etc - are all about communication, openness, and compromise. You’ll each need to consistently share your likes/needs/desires - and accept that both of those things will probably evolve over time. Take each thing slowly. Listen. Share. And remember that as fun as kink is, maintaining a healthy, loving, caring relationship is the foundation of everything, and forgetting that to focus on the physical pleasure alone will eventually end everything.

But … also know that you are lucky - you have someone willing and open to exploring sexuality with you - and that is a blessing. Cherish it, and … enjoy!

Good luck! My kinky ex-GF was a switch that got her needs met but sadly never really fulfilled mine. A D/s or any relationship is about give and take…you partner needs to be willing to give willingly or like everything else they are takers taking from the submissive.

So I definitely want to please her. In the past week I've given over control in a few areas like sex. She gets what she wants when she wants it. While I don't think I've given over completely, and there are areas I want her to still take, there are also hard lines for me. She knows them, for the most part.

I think the big thing is I keep trying to “balance the scale” and cannot find what she wants from me to balance things for her. Just not sure what to do for her to make it easier on her.

Dude, I really get you. For the last couple of years, my wife and I have had a complete misunderstanding. I'd be really interested to know how your story ended? I hope you were able to resolve your issues at the end! My wife and I even thought about signing up at https://taimi.com/gay-chat and finding another LGBT couple for a change. It would be interesting, considering that we are quite liberated people. It seems to me that in this way we can solve our problems and our sex life will become better. But, I do not know how she will react if I tell her about it. Do you think she'll kill me right away? I hope she wants to experiment too.

@Bonny :

What was your complete misunderstanding? Inquiring minds want to know. 😉

A relatively old thread, but ya'll know how I feel about zombies. 😂

Feedback: Communicate, especially outside of play time. Don't just give your wife a list of things you want, talk with her about each specific desire. Listen to what she says. Ask her what she wants, and listen to what she says. What @GreyDesigner said.