Strapon and hymen

Not sure if this is the right forum to ask this, I will probably need to ask on a lesbian forum, but just thought I'd see if anyone here has any insight.

So I am a goldstar lesbian and I've never had more than 2 fingers up my vagina. When I need to get my smear taken I have a virgin sized speculum inserted. Speculums and 2 finger tests hurt, and so does fingering until I get warmed up.

I'm embarrassed when girls finger me and say they can feel my hymen, and i'd like to be able to go to the clinic and get a medium speculum and not have to explain I'm a virgin then get my minora pulled wide by the doctor/nurse to assess my hymen/tightness before the test.

I am not attracted to men and have given up that i'll ever be in a situation where I'm with a man and have enough privacy while I'm "in the moment" to say to him that I want to open my legs and get my hymen broken by him and pussy stretched properly.

The girls that felt my hymen all refused to break it and just found it a bit gross. The stud I'm seeing now however has said she can do it with a strapon and it's the same thing and will break my hymen and stretch my vagina.

anyone agree with this that it's the same thing and a better option for me?

Another option is to buy a dildo and do it yourself. That way, you are in control all the way…

Odd that the first two replies to your post should be guys (in case you're counting, that includes me…lol) but I would THINK that if the stud you're seeing is a skilled lover and cares for your well being that the strapon and the aura surrounding the event would be more pleasurable or at leaast more satisfying? DIY just seems so clinical….

Good luck, however you go.

Always get to know yourself before letting someone else, no matter your age. You finger yourself before you let someone else, you should toy yourself before letting someone else etc.

Know and love yourself .

@Annie204

I would first have a gynaecologist check if you have a regular hymen that is thin enough to be broken or torn in the normal way during sexual intercourse. Some women have a septate hymen that is difficult or impossible to break during normal sex and needs surgery. The problem with a strap-on is that although it replicates the penis in some respects in reality it is just a piece of hard dead material and the woman using it won't be able to feel her way so to speak and the experience might be very painful for you. Using a dildo yourself, if you have the courage, is probably a better option. Although in my opinion you should try to find an experience man who is sympathetic to your needs.

It all depends on you. Do as you like best. I made my own way. From an early age I enjoyed putting different things in all my openings. When and how I broke my hymen through, I don't know exactly, because I've been doing it every day for years, I guess it spread by itself. It doesn't matter how you do it mechanically, but how you will experience it, what your memories will be.

I don't agree with “Find a guy to do it”

I think you can get a comfortable dildo, it doesn't have to be rock hard and slowly do it yourself. You can control the speed and pressure and slowly get it done.

Another guy here, adding a comment to situations I have never experienced…

Could the use of a tapered dildo allow you to slowly stretch your hymen, a little bit each session, until you reach the arraignment you desire? Everything about the breaking & tearing scenarios sound unpleasant. I have heard of women who’s hymens stretched instead of tearing. I assume this was a slow and more gentle process.

Maybe dildo like this…

https://www.tantusinc.com/products/cone-small

“Like sailing, the pleasure is in the journey, not the destination.”

Thank you everyone so much for your replies. All of you were helpful.

I have concluded now that there isn't going to be a situation with a man where I can do it, unless a guy was willing to sit outside my house for a month waiting for me to get horny and curious lol.

Also because it hurts so much I'm unable to do it myself and I really don't want to.

I have private medicals and smears which both include external exams where both sets of lips are pulled wide by the lady at the clinic and they confirmed I don't have a septate hymen, mine is lunar posteria (spelling?!) so just a crescent at the back that allows 2 fingers in and a virgin speculum for my swab to be taken.

The stud I'm seeing came to see me again this weekend and she described in detail how she will carefully break my hymen and stretch my vagina with a strapon. I feel confident in it now that it's the right way for me to do it and it's time. She wants to do another weekend or two of just fingering but with lots of stretching and twisting and turning the 2 fingers. Hopefully i'll have an update soon.

I have private medicals and smears which both include external exams where both sets of lips are pulled wide by the lady at the clinic and they confirmed I don't have a septate hymen, mine is lunar posteria (spelling?!) so just a crescent at the back that allows 2 fingers in and a virgin speculum for my swab to be taken.

@Annie204

It sounds like your hymen is the regular half-moon shape type that girls often have. But I'm surprised it hasn't broken before now with tampon use and or masturbation, teenage girls often tear their hymen with those activities but perhaps yours is a little thicker than average.

I just hope the other woman is not too aggressive as I've heard from others that these stud types often enjoy inflicting a little pain with their sex toys. But good luck anyway…

With repect, reading through this post. made me wonder whether (possibly?) using some lidocaine creme or gel (or some of the numbing stuff guys use on the head of their penises - to prevent pre-mature ejaculation) on a series of (or graduated) dildo(s) to get it applied to your hymen, and the surrounding vaginal mucosa, to numb the area?

I'm a believer in “anything that can get the job done.” The other thought that comes to mind is wonderimg is having your gynaecologist - with one touch of a scapel - under (again) some local agent - split it which would then give you full access.

Lunar posterior I think is pretty common? Also what basically everyone in this thread is missing is that your hymen isn't “supposed” to tear with normal penetration. It's far far more likely that it thins and stretches on its own. If it hurts, I think something's wrong, but it likely isn't from your hymen simply existing. If it is then I wouldn't say forcefully tearing it is the option when you can have it opened further surgically in a sterile environment.

I would advise using artificial lubricant even if you are naturally moist.

Lunar posterior I think is pretty common? Also what basically everyone in this thread is missing is that your hymen isn't “supposed” to tear with normal penetration. It's far far more likely that it thins and stretches on its own. If it hurts, I think something's wrong, but it likely isn't from your hymen simply existing. If it is then I wouldn't say forcefully tearing it is the option when you can have it opened further surgically in a sterile environment.

@arika Yes I agree, I think the concept of blood on the sheet the morning after the wedding night is a bit of an urban myth really….

Trust me, blood on the sheet is NOT an urban myth. Explaining it to my soon to be mother-in-law was NOT a good place to be!!! (This was then, not now!!! (lol)

Trust me, blood on the sheet is NOT an urban myth. Explaining it to my soon to be mother-in-law was NOT a good place to be!!! (This was then, not now!!! (lol)

I would imagine that before tampons became available the blood on the sheet would perhaps be more commonplace , but I think in more modern times the hymen is often stretched and then broken at some point while removing a tampon. But as you discovered that is not always the case!

@duhwizzard What happened?

…we ended up getting hitched anyway!!! Mom-in-law was even at the wedding!!! (l0l)

…we ended up getting hitched anyway!!! Mom-in-law was even at the wedding!!! (l0l)

With her shotgun!!! lol…

Thanks again for all the replies.

We are going to try to do it with my natural wetness but will have some lubricant handy definitely.

I didn't use tampons or penetrate myself as a teen and still don't. My only penetrations have been 2 fingers and virgin speculums both of which hurt.

I don't think I have a problem hymen or vagina.I do understand there are different hymen types and some just wear away before sex. If that's what your experience was like then it's hard to appreciate someone else isn't so lucky.

Nurses/doctors have commented on its shape when holding my labia back before doing my internal tests, and they've never said it might need cutting. The first girl that said I still have my hymen refused to break it but pushed it with her finger to show me it was there. It was the same feeling I had in my vagina the first time a girl pulled my pants down and I got fingered, I thought she broke my hymen but she only stretched it back.

My expectation is that the strapon will hurt worse than the first time I got fingered and that was bad! And also that it will break the hymen or stretch it back into insignificance and my vagina will get stretched wide so I won't have a tight one anymore.

…and my vagina will get stretched wide so I won't have a tight one anymore.

Good news, that isn't how vaginas work at all! (Also being tight is a common sign you're not fully aroused.)