I love the idea of not knowing how much I will get, and how long I will have to hold it. This uncertainty is a big turn-on. Since I have to give to myself most of the time, this seemed hard to realize, but now I came up with an idea which works very nicely for me.
I get out a pack of UNO cards (I guess that most of you know this game), and proceed as follows:
Step 1: Determination of the water temperature: I draw an arbitrary card from the pack. Its color determines the temperature as follows:
- blue: cold (right from the tap)
- yellow: luke warm
- green: body temperature
- red: hot (which means 39-40° C for me; I don't want to burn my bowels)
- black: as in the normal game, it means you can choose your favorite color / temperature Remember if it was a +2 or +4 card for step 2. Other cards will not be considered further (except their color).
Step 2: Determination of the volume: One by one, I uncover cards from the pack. Only the cards of the color which determined the temperature and the black +4 cards count. The more cards of the other colors appear and are ignored, the better the chance of coming across a +2 or +4 card!
- If it's a number card: multiply the value with 100ml, and add this amount to the volume (I consider the “0” like a 10, so it counts a whole liter).
- If it's a +2 or +4 card: add 200ml resp. 400ml to the volume. If the card you drew in step 1 was one of those, it also contributes to the volume.
- A “wait for one round” card will be remembered, and considered in step 3.
- A “change direction” card will be ignored right now. I came up with a special use for it, which I'll describe in a later post.
After some experimenting, I found that continuing this until you drew 3 number cards (and any number of +2 and +4 cards in between) works nicely for me. The possible minimum then is 400 ml (cards 1, 1, 2), the theoretical maximum (without +2 or +4 cards) 2.9 liters (cards 0, 0, 9). A little math shows that the statistical average is 1.65 liters (average value of one card is 5.5). Of course the +2 and +4 cards will increase this amount. Theoretically, if you draw all four +4-cards and both +2-cards of the correct color before having drawn three number cards, the volume could increase by a whopping 2 liters! But this is very unlikely.
I suggest that you set a fixed maximum for the enema from the beginning (certainly different for different people). If you want, you can determine a certain "punishment" if the recipient “only” takes this maximum, while the cards had “ordered” a bigger volume. Personally, I also set a minimum amount (1 liter for me). If this is not reached yet, I will continue drawing up to the next number card of the correct color. Any +2 and +4 cards in between add to the volume but don't end the further drawing of cards, even if the volume has reached the minimum amount already. This can lead to some nice surprises!
Step 3: Determination of the holding time: Continue drawing cards like in step 2. The numbers, resp. +2 and +4, are minutes of holding time (I again consider “0” to mean 10). In this step, every “wait for one round” card adds another 5 minutes, including those which were drawn in step 2 already. I again do this until I drew three number cards of the correct color. This results in holding times of 4 minutes minimum, 16.5 minutes average, and 29 minutes maximum, all subject to being increased by the +2, +4, and wait cards.
For me it's always a turn-on to determine the parameters for my enema in this way. Try it out for yourself!
Above, I described the basic way that works fine for me. In later posts, I will tell you about some modifications and additions that I experimented with. Of course you are also most welcome to share ideas of your own!