Is reliving bad childhood experances a good thing?

IMHO, yes. With one caveat, it always has a happy ending.

For those who were punished, spanked as a child, reliving the experience with a caring person can free you of the bad and give you the pleasure you deserve.

Many have guilt, embarrassment about from getting enemas. It may be that you were turned on at the time. Relish that now, let yourself be turned on. Pleasure yourself or be pleasured. Look at your past, your kinks, as a gift to enjoy and share…🌹

It can go either way. It can be psychologically harmful, it can be cathartic.

To put it mildly I had a messed up childhood. Many of things I feel I have taken ownership of during role play / bdsm.

Ive had wonderful online chat here with an extra special mistress and its made me feel great.

But be careful as for some can be a real mind fuck.

@carrie_behave I totally agree with you, before you tell anyone about childhood experiences you must have a high degree of trust with that person. Certainly not on your first chat…

I believe it is a desire to reenact an INVOLUNTARY experience in a completely VOLUNTARY manner. What had been completely out of my control, becomes consensual.

Some nasty experiences can play on your mind… I have too many, and they are bothersome at times when I'm trying to fall asleep and want to think only about good things…

I think it is difficult to answer this question unambiguously. For some, reliving such experiences may be traumatic again; for others, it can be a purification.

Seems like it can go both ways. It's almost certain I have C-PTSD from my lifetime of experiences, most of which are at least partially medical in nature. However, my mask fetish emanates from these same experiences. Starting out seeing pics of girls my age being anesthetized with black beauty masks, and progressing to seeing documentaries on girls who need to wear masks because of their immune systems, to now. Pretty girls in masks (either surgical or cloth) are commonplace as I shop for groceries. I am going to the Nutcracker this year. We are expected to be masked, but it is unclear whether the ballerinas will be masked. At any rate, that is something from my real medical life that has turned into a joy and a huge part of my sexual identity .

What happened in the past is long gone. I remember some things from my youth, good and bad, but I don't relive them. Looking forward to the adventures I have yet to experience.

It’s a balance I guess. I get some pleasure about reliving the humiliation of specific experiences as a turn on, but spend too much time with it and I find I have an overwhelming desire to return to what was often not a very healthy parental dynamic.

From my experience, regardless of the specifics of punishment and discipline or similar that I get a kick out of, there was the underlying relationship of dominance and submission, shame and control, which can continue in one way or another. I had to put in place boundaries to prevent that from continuing in some form, but if I get too into reliving this then I often have a pull to loosen those boundaries, which is a bad idea.

It can be, but it may not be.

I read a great book entitled, "Feelings Buried Alive, Never Die"

The author explained that if you don't work through the bad experience, it can fester and eat at you and consume much of your time and energy. Work through it. Talk through it. Talk with someone about it. Write it all down on paper with all your feelings and frustrations. Then burn or shred the paper and let go of it.

If the bad experience isn't causing a problem in your life, if it's not bothering you, then don't worry about it.

In either situation, do like Elsa and let it go, let it go, let it go.

Well put @Jenn88 and welcome to Zity.

@LordJim2

Thank you. It's nice to be here to learn and to share.

I joined Zity.biz as I love reading dentist stories, I had a traumatic visit to the dentist as a child, usual thing I guess, teeth removed under gas, which is why, I believe, I've got a thing for dental stories now, it's helped me get over that experience, and has sort of taken me in to a world of fiction to get over the reality, hope that makes sense 😊

It has been many decades past, that enemas, spanking, and mouth soaping were so negative as a child. I wrested control from mom, grandma, and the pediatrician fairly early and "came" to enjoy certain aspects for many years. Mouth soaping is the only thing that still repulses me. Those special sensations that a good enema provide, and the equipment fetish, will keep me hooked for life.

I do relive my childhood spanking during role play with my husband especially bedtime spanking role play.

After my husband gives me my bedtime spanking at night I will have a peaceful sleep while sucking my thumb

My childhood has many holes that I will never get filled in (even if I were to ask my siblings for their memories). I don't know what happened that caused them to be forgotten. But I will never relive them. I do not try to look backwards very often. There is enough a head of me to think on and experience to give thought to the past.

I think it can be a very good thing if it helps you to process, even to own, something bad or unpleasant that happened to you.

As long as you are not trying to relive it with a real child!

Although I do not remember having bad childhood experiences (sure I was spanked quite a bit and deserved it but was done with love and never in anger and included encouragement to do better in the future) and also given enemas on a twice a week schedule but were not a punishment (more of a pleasure and bonding time with my mom), I think the author of this discussion has offered good advice. Denise

Interesting question. Different strokes for different folks I think. As much as I got spanked growing up I certainly don’t consider any of them to be traumatic. I think the whole idea of fetishes forming around trauma certainly can be true for some people but I don’t think it’s universal. My obsession with spanking existed before I ever experienced it, and I think my attraction to it is more akin to an adrenaline junkie getting on a rollercoaster or jumping out of an airplane. Even when I think about my dad not being around and him supposedly being wrapped up in some really dark stuff I’ve never considered his absence traumatic. I think my mom probably tried to compensate for it, and I think parts of my personality developed in such a way to make up for it too. But in any case I’m happy with the person I’ve become.

You can plant two of the same plants in different conditions, both maybe lacking something or receiving too much of something else. They will both adapt and compensate in their own ways.

The enemas i received from my mother were always given lovingly.. not for punishment. Did I need them? I would say yes as I was being medicated for anemia and the oral meds (an iron supplement) caused me to get bound up often.

Mom stopped giving them to me once I got off those meds at about age 5. The seed was planted though and that anal stimulus reared its head again at puberty when I discovered masturbation and the enema gear in the bathroom closet. Needless to say, it then became a life long pleasurable activity.

I think it depends on what bad would entail. i still suffer ptsd so reliving bad childhood experiences is not a good thing for me personally

Yes and no.

Actual bad things, no. Granted, I've had to relive, or at least recount, some in therapy... which was horrible but ultimately helpful. Outside of such an environment, no I don't wish to relive bad experiences.

Things that were "bad" but not actually bad, like things that were perhaps shocking and naughty... oh yes I love to relive such experiences. The problem is finding someone to relive them with who truly understands my psyche and my desires.