As I gaze at her, immobile, she takes my elbow. “Come along, Pipi,”she coos as she lays me down on the changing mat, “I'm not going to bite.”
I look up at her, immaculate in her starched blue uniform, her apron, cap and cuffs dazzlingly white, as she unlocks my rubber pants. Down they slide, and she unpins my sopping nappies. Into the bucket they go. Gently she bathes me, powders me and creams me. “Now sweetie, I need to take your temperature.” She procedes to lubricare my rectum before inserting the thermometer. For five minutes she keeps it there, one hand resting on my tummy, the other holding, and occasionally wiggling the thermometer. Eventually she removes it.
“Oh, Pipi, 39.7. You know what this means don't you?” Tears come to my eyes as she signals to a collegue, a young African-Carribean nurse who is also strikingly beautiful. She comes over, carrying a shiny, stainless steel kidney dish. Together they roll me over. The black nurse swabs my cheek and the blonde inserts the hypodermic. It stings like mad, and the black nurse has to hold me still as I try to buck. Eventually the needle is removed, and I am rolled onto my back again. The blonde nures whispers something to her collegue, who leaves. The blonde nurse expertly folds three large terry nappes, wraps them round me and pins them with six large nappy pins. She slides a fresh pair of rubber pants up my legs and over the nappies. She then clicks shut a tiny lock to prevent me doing anything.
As she sits me up I burst into tears as I see the other nurse returning, holding an open straitjacket in front of her.
“Shhh, shhh,” coos the blonde nurse as she cuddles me tightly. “We are not cross with you. You have not done anything naughty. It is just that it takes some of our patients longer than others to accept the necessity of their regression treatment. and until you are fully returned to babyhood we just need to…….protect…..you.”
Between them they soon have me laced in tightly. One holding each elbow, and each with their free arm behind my back they walk me back to my cot. Between them they lift me into the cot and raise both sides. As they leave I sob into the pillow. What is happening to me? Why am I here?
The blonde nurse returns, carrying a large baby bottle. She lowers one side of the cot, props me up and sits behind me. Easing me back, and snuggling my head on the starched bib of her apron, she inserts the teat of the bottle into my mouth. I start to suckle as I sob.
“There, there, there's no need to be upset. You are here for us to make you better. Dr Shirley thinks we need to take you right back to find out what is troubling you, so the sooner you stop fighting us and accept your regression the sooner we can find out what is wrong, and possibly be able to help you.”
She strokes my face as I finish the bottle. The milk tastes funny. I don't know what is in it, but I drift off into a sound sleep.