Reason parents came in for exams growing up

Mom said Once she takes us because she Wants to make sure we are healthy.

But honestly i Think she somehow enjoyed the View. I mean she did not get the oppertunity to See us nude outside a doctors Office after we Hit Puberty.

But honestly i Think she somehow enjoyed the View. I mean she did not get the oppertunity to See us nude outside a doctors Office after we Hit Puberty.

Good point. I don't really know my mom's motives, but rather just how things happened. As I said in https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=1118806 I was completely used to her being in all my exams, so the fact that my exam at 16 was the last she attended, and my exam at 17 was alone, was not due to my demands or anything like that.

At the time, I assumed she was encouraging me to be self-sufficient by having me be examined alone by the GP at 17, but she may have had other plans that backfired.

Since she booked my exam and my younger brother's exam at the same time with the same doctor, she may well have intended for us to be examined together in front of her and was surprised when they put me in a separate exam room, so she only saw my brother's exam. I really have no idea.

I ran across this article from the American Academy of Pediatrics last year that confirmed what the older pediatrician I knew said about older boys preferring their moms instead of a chaperone for the genital exam. I don't have membership access to the site, but Google somehow summarized it:

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22Few+pediatric+patients+or+their+parents+said+they+would+like+to+have+a+medical+chaperone+in+the+room+during+a+physical+exam%2C+a+recent+survey+found.%22&oq=%22Few+pediatric+patients+or+their+parents+said+they+would+like+to+have+a+medical+chaperone+in+the+room+during+a+physical+exam%2C+a+recent+survey+found.%22&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCDQxMzFqMGo3qAIAsAIA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

"A recent survey found that few pediatric patients and their parents expressed a preference for having a medical chaperone present during physical exams. In fact, many patients and parents preferred the presence of a parent instead. Reasons for not wanting a chaperone included concerns about privacy and comfort, and a preference for a parent to be present."

"Between 5% and 23% of parents (82% of whom were female) wanted a chaperone, depending on the sex of the child and provider and body part ..."

I think it's interesting that both the patients and the parents had a preference for the parents watching the genital exam. I'm glad they thought to survey both.

I ran across this article from the American Academy of Pediatrics last year ...

I think it's interesting that both the patients and the parents had a preference for the parents watching the genital exam. I'm glad they thought to survey both.

I went through my childhood and teen physicals in the 1970s and 1980s, before this began to be a concern that was discussed but one of the several doctors' offices we went to would always start with a conference with the parents, then you the kid would come in for part of that, then the parent would step out for the doctor to have a private chat with you, but then the parents or one of them would have to come back in when it was time for you take your clothes off. I was never there without a parent, but I assume they would have had someone on the staff come in when there was no parent available.

My mom was there for most all of my exams when I was younger. But, not every single one of them. So, as far as I know there was not any policy or legal requirement for her to be present. Really I think more of just a parental duty and a want to be there for your kids when they experience something like that.

I don't know when mom stopped attending my exams. I recall going to the dentist alone as a teen. In any case, intimate exams had stopped after childhood so it would not have been embarrassing if she had attended; also I saw the GP less often (in childhood I would be taken there for gastro-enteritis and many other childhood ailments).

My mother was always in the exam room sitting in a chair. Very awkward. I supposed she felt it was her parental responsibility but once I entered puberty I hated it.

For mine it was policy until either 1) I turned 18 and was able to consent on my own behalf or 2) my parents agreed to not accompany me, waiving their right to be in there with me since my body was now mid-puberty and I didn't want them in there.

At my pediatrician's office it was policy until age 16. After that it was up to the patient/parent. My mom came in with me until I was 18, we both kind of decided that. I saw the pediatrician alone at 19.

"At my pediatrician's office it was policy until age 16. After that it was up to the patient/parent."

That is how it was when I was a child and teen in the 1960s and 1970s. And it was not just my pediatrician's policy. It must have been a statewide regulation because I did not know anyone who went to the doctor without a parent (mother 95% of the time) staying in the exam room with them until at least after 16. All of us boys got used to our mothers seeing us naked in the doctor's office. My own mother came with me until the end of high school, so 17 would have been the last physical exam she watched. After that my father took me to his doctor for my college physicals.

"A recent survey found that few pediatric patients and their parents expressed a preference for having a medical chaperone present during physical exams. In fact, many patients and parents preferred the presence of a parent instead."

This does not surprise me at all. And not only from back in my day but even up to the present I know of several young men who would be much more comfortable with their moms sitting in for their physicals than a unknown chaperone, who 99.9% of the time is a female, seeing them naked. Everyone assumes that all boys are embarrassed if their mom sees them naked but what I know from the boys and even their moms that is not necessarily the case. I once worked in a small office setting in which I was the only male among several females and the mothers would comment on their sons walking around naked, usually back and forth from the shower, and changing in their room with the door open, with no shame.

On chaperone vs parent: one can frame the question as "do you want to get nude in front of two unknown people instead of one?"…

Mom came in until I was about 13-14 and hit puberty, then I went in alone. I was never asked about chaperones. (Not a thing with a male patient then) I was never asked about a chaperone until I was 60. I started with a non-VA PCP. I always refuse. One of the first things you lose in the Navy is your sense of modesty.

That is how it was when I was a child and teen in the 1960s and 1970s. And it was not just my pediatrician's policy. It must have been a statewide regulation because I did not know anyone who went to the doctor without a parent (mother 95% of the time) staying in the exam room with them until at least after 16.

I don't think the paranoia about abuse by doctors started until the 1990s, so I doubt there would have been any such state regulations in the 1960s and 1970s.

Instead, I really think it was just considered best practice and what doctors were trained to do in medical school and residency. Likewise, medical privacy for minors generally didn't become a thing in the US until after Roe in the 1970s when certain states wanted to ensure a girl could get reproductive care without parental consent. The tension between that and the fear of abuse was what led to the invention of the thing that surveys show is wildly unpopular -- the medical chaperone. But that frankly never made sense for boys who never were trying to get the pill or an abortion, which is why I think most pediatricians like mine just kept treating boys in the 1990s like they did in the 1960s, i.e. no consideration for modesty.

And of course, as I think I've said here before, daughters likely were less shy in front of their mothers at home, while boys would develop modesty in the home at the start of, if not before, puberty. So the annual well child exam was the only time when most moms could see how their sons were developing. I think the old school doctors knew this, and they knew it was good for moms to keep track of how their sons were growing up. So they made sure boys were undressed to underwear for our exams, ensuring the underwear also came down in full view of our mothers.

And of course, as I think I've said here before, daughters likely were less shy in front of their mothers at home, while boys would develop modesty in the home at the start of, if not before, puberty. So the annual well child exam was the only time when most moms could see how their sons were developing. I think the old school doctors knew this, and they knew it was good for moms to keep track of how their sons were growing up. So they made sure boys were undressed to underwear for our exams, ensuring the underwear also came down in full view of our mothers.

Are you sure about boys becoming more modest when starting puberty? Over the years I've read countless stories on various websites including Zity that adolescent boys running around the house nude and in their underwear in front of their moms, sisters, and other female relatives was so common that hardly anyone gave it a second thought.

Are you sure about boys becoming more modest when starting puberty? Over the years I've read countless stories on various websites including Zity that adolescent boys running around the house nude and in their underwear in front of their moms, sisters, and other female relatives was so common that hardly anyone gave it a second thought.

I've read the stories and accounts too.

But at the same time this never ever happened at our house (my sister would have screamed bloody murder) and I never heard about it happening in friend's homes neither. I'm referring to the 1950s and 1960s in both the US (NJ) and in Belgium (where if anything, things in general were even more prudish concerning nudity).

While the stories here are fun to read and mull over, sometimes I wonder if there might not be a tad of exaggeration involved when it came to frequency or normality of this occurring.

Here untill 16 perants had be there unless given permission

I was the only child of a single parent, my father having died when I was a toddler.

For the discussion directly above, money was always tight for us, so most days, when I got home from school I had to change out of my good clothes and put on play clothes. If it was rainey outside, more often than not, that meant just staying in my briefs until bath time, and then with me in my briefs & bathrobe or naked under my bathrobe until bed. Being in my briefs or even naked at home was no big deal. It's not that we were nudists or anything, but there was no shame for my mom to see her little boy naked.

She was present for all of my exams until I was, I think, 12 or 13. At that point my pediatrician put me in a developmental study for late bloomers. At first, my mom came to those appointments, but they got to be so frequent that I started going alone (and that's when the sexual abuse started).

But she was always present for the annual physicals. We changed doctors when I was 14, and when I was 15 the doctor (female) had my mom leave the exam room for the genital exam - I think it was mostly too put me at ease to have a frank discussion about sexual development (there was always a nurse present.

I've read the stories and accounts too.

But at the same time this never ever happened at our house (my sister would have screamed bloody murder) and I never heard about it happening in friend's homes neither. I'm referring to the 1950s and 1960s in both the US (NJ) and in Belgium (where if anything, things in general were even more prudish concerning nudity).

While the stories here are fun to read and mull over, sometimes I wonder if there might not be a tad of exaggeration involved when it came to frequency or normality of this occurring.

I never walked around nude or in underwear in my own home, however, it was not uncommon to be in just underwear in some of my friends homes (late 70s to 80s). I grew up in a rural area and several of my good friends lived on dairy farms. If I was staying overnight at their homes I would help out my friends with chores in the barn. Whenever we came in from the barn the homes had a "mud room" that had a clothes washer/dryer. We entered the house in the mud room and stripped down to out underwear and put our barn clothes in the washer. Then we walked into the house in just our briefs and waited our turn for the shower. Notably, none of my friends had older sisters which might have made the situation embarrassing for me but otherwise it was a pretty standard routine for guys both evening and (early!) morning chores to watch tv in our underwear while we waited to shower. This routine was typical for all the dairy farmers that I knew.

My mother and I shared appointments at times. She was there for an injection for allergies, usually in arm but not always.

I was there to check for UTIs, I was only young and it wasn’t a big deal to me.

This stopped when I turned 11 and went to the family doctor on my own after school.

Are you sure about boys becoming more modest when starting puberty? Over the years I've read countless stories on various websites including Zity that adolescent boys running around the house nude and in their underwear in front of their moms, sisters, and other female relatives was so common that hardly anyone gave it a second thought.

It's a strange one for me. When we got up at home, both myself and my big brother would lounge around the house together in the boxers we'd slept in the night before, watching TV, eating breakfast etc. until going in the shower. Neither of use had any issues with this, and mum or dad seeing us that way, and it was just the way it was.

But when I went to the doctors, it just felt different somehow, especially after puberty started, being stripped down to my boxers, with my big brother there fully clothed, my mum watching over as I got poked and prodded all over, got my height and weight taken etc. It was the same for my big brother as he knew his kid brother, me, was there gawking all over him as he was checked out.

It sounds stupid given what I said about my home experience, but it somehow felt different.

@scotty95

Yes, I agree completely. Even if you are used to your parents seeing you with no clothes on it's worse having them watch you being examined.

The only thing I can think of that's similar is when you got told off, say by a teacher, in front of a parent or your brother or just in front of your friends. It was worse that they saw you being told off than if they just heard about it later.

I only remember my youth exam at age 13. My father went with me for my exam because he told the doctor that I need a stamp for sports that I can go to tournaments.