Spanking Euphemisms

I heard

Do you want to start this vacation over my knee

Don't make me pull this car over

Keep it up and your pants will be coming down

Do you want a spanking or a lickin

My wife and I have used almost the exact same threats!!

Mom would say ” im going to redden your bottom” or for a punishment enema “ I’m going to warm up your bottom”.

My father always used to say “Do you want me to take your trousers down?”

Which is slightly odd, as at the ages concerned I only ever wore shorts.

The girl I dated in high school would occasionally look me in the eye and say….."Do you know what I do to bad little boys?"….That always did the trick for me. She also would say it while she had me over her lap.

On one occasion, when my sister was having a slumber party, my friend (he was also spending the night) and I tried to pull a practical joke on the girls. Our attempt to have some laughs at the girls' expense went seriously sideways, and we found ourselves in BIG trouble when my dad said, “Okay boys! Your asses are grass, and the girls are going to watch me mow the lawn!” First, my dad spanked my friend in front of the girls (one of whom was that friend's older sister). Then it was my turn.

My dad had put my friend over his lap wearing his boxers, so I thought that I would also be allowed this degree of modesty in front of this group of girls (even though I had ALWAYS been spanked on-the-bare).

When I walked over to stand next to my dad (without removing my boxers), he said, “Aren't you forgetting something, young man?” And I said, “Sir, please don't make me take off my boxers in front of the girls!” And he said, “I'm not going to tan your boxers! They didn't misbehave! YOU misbehaved, and YOUR BARE BUTT is going receive your tanning!”.

After I had been punished, my friend's sister asked my dad, “Mr. Smith, why did you spank Johnny's boxers? They didn't do anything wrong!” All of the girls giggled. And my dad asked, “Jane, does your dad spank Johnny's bare bottom?” Jane answered, “Yes sir." And, at this point, my mom (who was standing nearby) said, “It's okay, I know Johnny's parents very well, and Jane is right. You should make sure that he also doesn't sit comfortably for a few dsys!” And my dad said, “Okay Johnny… get back over here!”

After my dad had properly tanned Johnny's hide (on-the-bare), my sister spoke up, “Daddy, it isn't fair that Johnny received two spankings and Jimmy only received one!” My dad agreed, and took me back over his lap to even things up!

“Okay, young man! You just scheduled yourself for an appointment in my workshop, at 7pm sharp! If you're late, it will worsen your fate!”

“Fetch my carpenter's ruler, young man! Repairing your attitude just became my latest project!"

“When my belt comes off, it won't be MY pants that will come down, young man!"

“I have tried reasoning with you, young man! Now it's time for my bamboo stick to do the trick!”

My dad use to tell me “lets have a come to Jesus meeting”

“Okay, young man! You just scheduled yourself for an appointment in my workshop, at 7pm sharp! If you're late, it will worsen your fate!”

“Fetch my carpenter's ruler, young man! Repairing your attitude just became my latest project!"

“When my belt comes off, it won't be MY pants that will come down!"

“I have tried reasoning with you. Now it's time for the bamboo stick to do the trick!”

Sounds like your dad was quite the spanker poet, @BottomFromTheTop!

“I am going to warp your bottom!”

“I'm going to blister your butt!”

“I’ll crack your crust “. from the movie Old Henry - pretty sure he was threatening his son with a licking)

I lived with Grandparent when young due to problems with illness at home,i was usually spanked by my Grandad,his favourite saying was"do you want your peaches skinning?,well behave then".!His favourite spanking tool was a wooden spatula,made a loud crack and stung like hell on my bare bum.

My dad use to tell me “lets have a come to Jesus meeting”

Just hearing someone say that would have been punishment enough for me.

My dad use to tell me “lets have a come to Jesus meeting”

Just hearing someone say that would have been punishment enough for me.

Could that phrase be blasphemy to some religious scholars?

Early record of come to Jesus comes in the 1870s, when the phrase was used to mock Christian proselytizers as not practicing what they preached. The phrase evidently emerges from Christian revivalism, which pushed for personal conversion to Christianity—to turn away from the devil and save their souls by coming to Jesus. In the early 1900s, come to Jesus described the clothing worn by these preachers (e.g., a come-to-Jesus collar).

By the 1970s, the expression had become a metaphor for a transformative meeting or moment—like a hard talk, a wake-up call, facing the facts, an intervention, seeing the light.

Why not leave any religious connotations out of it and simply say: “Come and get your caboose painted red!"

I remember my grandma used to say “I think it's time my hairbrush had a chat with your bottom”.

Whenever one of us tried to talk mom out of baring our behinds for a spanking, she had this line. “I can't get to the bottom of your misbehavior, unless I can see the bare facts!”.

At home it used to be,

“do you want me to go and fetch the slipper?”

”do you want me to take your pants down?”

”you‘ve be warned enough times, I’m not telling you again, you are getting a hiding.”

As well as the usual; “Someones gonna get a spanking/whupping”!, or “Do you wonna spanking/whupping”! There was; “Your going to get your butt blistered, Mister”!! and “Young Man, your pants and undies are coming down”! One of my favorites though was my Auntie Rose, whose spankings with her ivory corlored, celluloid hairbrush were something to be greatly feared, would announce; “Do I need to apply the celluloid Young Man/Young Lady”? Or, even more ominously, when a line had already been crossed, “It's time to APPLY THE CELLULOID”!! Then to use another euphemism; “you knew your RUMP WAS GOING TO GET ROASTED”!! LOL

„We‘ll have a discussion about that when we are back home.“ normally is enough to make her pretty nervous and behaving well.

“I'll give you something to cry about”, or “you want something to cry about ” when I began to cry during a spanking. It made no sense since isn't that the whole idea about being spanked was to cry?!

The in-house behavior warning-from my Dad- when a same age buddy would be spending the night and both of us were getting a bit overboard behavior wise (at age 8-10) like uttering the F word in the house or horseplay that got too rambunctious was: “If either of you say that word again…” (or) “If you both don't cool your jets” : “ A bare bottom HAND PADDLING will happen ! " It was a chilling warning that usually calmed either or one of us down really fast.

My dad gave me a very hard spanking with a leather slipper on my bare bottom for saying the F-word when I was 14.

I got a severe whacking with a plimsoll when I flipped the ”V” at a teacher and he saw me. I was told to report at the end of the school day to his classroom. I got six of the very best on the bare backside. I certainly didn’t do it again.

Spanking was never done on bare bottom when I was in school. I used to get six with a plimsoll over the seat of my trousers for persistently refusing to participate in PE/games. I used to tell the other lads it didn't hurt, not so much to try to appear tougher than I really was but because it was nothing compared with a couple of dozen smacks with my dad's leather slipper on my bare bottom.

„I‘ll teach you how to be a good girl. Get over my knees!“

Or another euphemism: „let‘s have a little discussion.“

I heard “wait ‘til your father gets home” many times as a preteen and teen. I didn't like it then, but it's a phrase I now find quite exciting.