I am speaking about a majority of young women 18-21 who are at a crossroads between leaving childhood behind and beginning the change in cognition that will develop through college and the early career years. These women will Google what to expect at their first well woman appointment when their parents, or friends discuss with them it being time to have an adult check up. On most sites they will find a short description of the mechanical actions that will occur in the exam room, but what is left out is the more in depth coaching about what she will feel and experience. In this way all medical descriptions of "what to expect" do not guide the young woman on really what to expect. As an added layer, these women should be taught to experience their exam with a positive, tantra mentality that will disposition them to look forward to and thus diligent about their annual appointments.
Specifically written as if the metaphoric examiner is an older male and I will name him Dr. Smith. Teach her that she is going to see a new doctor now as a young woman who she will develop an intimate relationship with. Not intimate as with a lover, but as a caring professional who's job it is to learn about the intimate parts of her body and keep a watchful eye on them as she grows in order to protect her health to the best of his ability. Show her his website, bio page, and professional photo before the visit. Address him as the individual who will be performing the actions you are about to explain to her. Don't say, "and then a pulse will be taken." Say, "and then Dr. Smith will take your pulse." In this way she will have a personalized preconceived notion of this doctor as her caring provider before exam day arrives.
Let her know any state of grooming is okay, but if she would like she may prepare herself as if she was about to wear bikini bottoms for the first time in the summer. She should begin to embrace the experience at this point by letting herself know she is preparing her body for doctor Smith. Let her know when she talks to him in his office and escalating as she walks into the exam room she is going to be increasingly nervous. Practice breathing techniques and tell her to let the feelings happen. She should address her nerves as she would feeling full after a meal. This is a natural feeling that occurs as a result of one thing and there is nothing wrong with you, or with letting those feelings occur. Associate the nerves as being similar to the feeling you get standing in sunshine on a cold day. Tell her it may be easiest for her to not wear underwear and taker her shopping for a thick dress, romper, or other singular piece of clothing with easy to remove sandals. Have her try on the clothing without a bra to make sure she is concealed within personal comfort levels. Scheduling her appointment in summer will make this easier.
When she is initially left alone in the exam room have her stand and face the exam table and recite to herself that this is an alter on which my body will be checked and cared for and I open myself to Dr. Smith's caring hands in order to do so. She should then take a few slow even breaths as she looks at the exam table, places her hands on her dress straps and slowly pulls outward until they are off her shoulders. She should take one larger breath and let go, allowing her clothing to drop to the ground. While she is completely naked and in bare feet she should take a few seconds and walk to the sink, around the exam table and then lean over the front, pressing her breasts into the table, arms to the side as if giving it a warm embrace. She should then adorn her examination attire and sit on the table.
Let her know when doctor Smith walks in he will first want to see her breasts. Have her hang her arms down to her sides to let him pull her gown down. Sit as straight and allow yourself to welcome his hands to your chest. As he approaches the center of your breast prepare to contract your pelvic muscles. When you feel two of his fingers on either side of your nipple contract your pelvic muscles in rhythm with the pressure to your nipple. Your nipples will be aroused when he is done. Feel the light fabric of the down against them as you cover yourself.
Next tell her to anticipate the firm feel of the stirrups on the bottoms of her feet and to be greeted by the feeling of his hand on her bottom as she moves down to allow her pelvic area to meet him at the end. She will feel the cool air on her legs as her gown rides up to her waist. Yes he can see where you shaved, but you don't need to cover yourself. Let the gown come up as high as it wants. She should approach this point as if she had a beautiful flower she wanted to share with a friend. She needs to share her own beautiful flower with Dr. Smith and should feel the same excitement by closing her eyes, smiling, and spreading her legs as wide as she can. When she can feel the stretch in her inner thighs and cool air on her anus Dr. Smith will be able to see her entire flower. Have her mentally invite him to explore her petals and rejoice in his finding of her pleasure center as she feels the hood to her clitoris pushed back and the exposure of her orgasmic organ to his eyes as she has found with her hands many times before. As his fingers work down her petals, pulling them to each side she should find happiness knowing her flower is now open and her entrance for pollination is now exposed to Dr. Smith. Finally she should anticipate the stretch at her anus as Dr. Smith pulls her cheeks to either side.
She should work on feeling at peace when the speculum touches her entrance. Have her remind herself Dr. Smith cares for her well being and in order to fully show her that he needs to penetrate me. Welcome the stretch of your vaginal canal as he completely opens you and his light shines on your cervix. Breath out as the speculum closes and your vagina is allowed to rest. Have her understand the coating of lubricant on his fingers as he stands between her legs. This will be the intermediary that allows a harmonious union between doctor and patient. Welcome his fingers inside of you and feel his hand against your petals as you know he is at the pinnacle of depth within you. As he withdraws and you hear the changing of his gloves welcome the pad of his finger against your anus. Educate her that this is the most challenging way in which she must accept Dr. Smith, but allow your bottom to relax and welcome him inside your rectum. Will him in as deep as possible and let the feeling of going to the bathroom happen as you try to expel his finger. Its okay to squeeze him if needed.
Let her know lubricant is going to come out of her on the ride home and offer her tissue. Reassure her if she feels anything going to run down her leg she may wipe under her dress as needed.