Modesty - in small things or large

Personally, l am mystified by why people cover their mouth when they yawn. (I often wish they wouldn't!) Why is an open mouth considered somehow gross? Okay, so some people have teeth missing or lots of fillings. But is that the only reason?

And what about other kinds of modesty, notably about nudity? Is this just something that's entirely society-induced? (Please don't be too modest to share your views!)

- Ken

You should cover your mouth when you yawn because saliva, especially from the sublingual gland often shoots out when you yawn due to the action of the muscles in the tongue and floor of the mouth. IT'S AN INFECTION CONTROL THING.

If you keep your body in good shape by exercising and not eating like a pig, you shouldn't have problems having others see your body.

Covering your mouth when yawning in public is sometimes considered an element of politeness.

Thanks, Switchable (post #2), for that rather technical explanation for why a yawn should be covered up. But l'm not sure that's all there is to it. Some people seem embarrassed to be caught with their mouth wide open. (From discussion with a dental assistant on Zity, l know that some people have to be really coaxed - or instructed - into giving the dentist enough room to work!)

- Ken

@kenneth177 said:

Some people seem embarrassed to be caught with their mouth wide open. (From discussion with a dental assistant on Zity, l know that some people have to be really coaxed - or instructed - into giving the dentist enough room to work!)

- Ken

I'm the opposite and must try too hard to give them enough room. At the dentist they are always telling me to close slightly.

That's really interesting, user264 (post #4 ). I was making a general observation - something that's nearly always fallible, subject to exceptions!

Maybe I'm one of those exceptions too! An ENT doctor once asked me to open my mouth and - perhaps too eagerly - I did so, as wide as I could. He seemed mildly taken aback! He must have been used to patients who indeed only open their mouth for the doctor or dentist to a 'modest' extent!

(In my case, with my 'odontophilia' - mouth (and throat) fetish - I have to remember to be 'modest' about such things!) 😃

- Ken

I sincerely doubt any doctor would guess you have an oral fetish if you opened your mouth quickly when he said he wanted to examine your mouth or throat.

NOBODY CARES.

Am still keen to learn what Zity-ers think that modesty-in-general is, or is 'about'. (My asking why people cover their mouths when they yawn was meant as just one small example.)

Have just read an amusing, but delightful, account by the wife of an English Zity-er with whom l regularly correspond. It was her memory of how, as a young teenager, she wore her first bikini. She was torn between showing off as much flesh as she could (she thought she looked good, upstairs and downstairs) and not showing too much. A very fine line indeed! (One difficulty was solved by using depilatory cream on her pubes, so that they didn't show above the truly modest (in size!) bottom half of the bright-red bikini.)

- Ken

Modesty in general is an intreresting topic, and I'm not sure I have many firm ideas to offer. Recently, I've become aware of cheerleading as an actual sport (rather than the "sideline" cheerleaders that you see supporting games). I got to thinking one day about how we usually have women cover their breasts when in public, but somehow bare midriffs are completely OK. Interesting, that, since the abs are usually what turn me on most (and potentially off, as well, if there's too much fat showing). I'm not primarily a breast man.

Not that I'm complaining, because that means more great pics on the web. But if I were a parent, my daughter would be forbidden from showing any of that until she was 18.

I'm definitely a clothing fetishist, as many who read my posts (if any do), can gather. Masks (surgical masks, half mask cartridge respirators, cloth covid-19 masks, anesthesia masks), but also cheer uniforms as mentioned, school outfits (knee-length skirt, with opaque tights), soccer kits (especially socks and cleats together), and sleepwear (footed pajamas and frilly nightgowns).

Masks, to me, can make a girl seem submissive. Not sure about modest, or if that's kind of the same thing. I kind of don't think so, in my personal context, which requires a female patient to wear a mask to protect her immune system or lungs. Not to look more acceptable (though I would think she looks stunning with the right mask on, and the right fit).

Frilly nightgowns are meant to be cute, not sexy, but cute is sexy to me at times. And they do look modest. They cover a lot. Especially, as in the Nutcracker, Clara's case, where she also often wears opaque stockings.

As I write this, I go back to the OP, where @kenneth177 asks what modesty is "about". I think it's just imbued in most of us by our parents, who want to protect us, at least until we can protect ourselves. And the goes especially for the daughters, and the reasons are rooted in millenia past.

Hmm. I've begun to consciously notice - apropos bodily modesty - how it's the things that draw attention to themselves by protruding or dangling that seem to be required to be covered up (thereby drawing attention to themselves in a different, more 'civilised' way). 'Neutral' areas (like a bare midriff) are okay, and even help to set off the covered areas.

In one of my earlier posts (post #7), I mentioned the teenage girl who bought herself a bright-red (!) bikini. I find the 'double-think' going on there both revealing (if that's the word) and amusing!

- Ken

The first bikinis I wore were like these when I was 14 or so in 1983. I liked yellow and white so you could clearly see flesh and "shadow detail" especially when they got wet. I bought those going to the mall myself and with friends--NOT my mother. The style then was just starting to have the triangles of cloth to cover what we called "the vitals."

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/trends/g7442/swimsuits-through-the-years/?slide=19

Thanks, Switchable (post #10)! Nice model! I gather that she reminds you of yourself and the bikini you wore back then?! Also nice, I'm sure!

On modesty and immodesty. I seem to have noticed that even Zity-ers - in our own way - can be modest, if that term means restrained, not unduly prying or disclosing. The majority of us (but far from all!) seem to enjoy semaphoring our special tastes or experiences, then stopping! Sometimes I feel frustrated by this! The dirty-minded part of me wants more detail, especially in role-playing situations on Zity - on Chat Gram, for instance. (However, as I've often indicated, detailed correspondence with another role-player is certainly my favourite way of role-playing, precisely because of the actions and range of thoughts that can all be expressed that way! At such times, modesty be gone!)

- Ken

Why is an open mouth considered somehow gross? Okay, so some people have teeth missing or lots of fillings. But is that the only reason?

I had heard a person covered their mouth when yawning to keep their spirit from leaving their body or to keep evil spirits out. A very very old school thought.

On the modesty idea, I sometimes garden without my top, just my bra. I like to get just a bit more tan going.

What people commonly call modesty today, is actually that they have been taught to be embarrassed by their own body. It is taught by those who wish to influence the behavior of others. It is strictly a tool to control those who might have different feelings about their own bodies.

I had heard a person covered their mouth when yawning to keep their spirit from leaving their body or to keep evil spirits out. A very very old school thought.

Sounds more like something a parent might tell their children which then grows and ends up as part of a cultural element in a given society. In other words, finding a nice sounding excuse to do or prevent something gross or unsightly or unhygenic or such.

I might suspect that opening a mouth in pre-toothpaste days, was not always pleasant for others. Bad breath, bad teeth, bits of food still hanging around.

Ah ha! Apropos yawning and such (see original post), did anybody here put it quite this insightful way? Have been reading the book by Paul Ableman, 'The Mouth and Oral Sex' (1969), which suggests why the mouth may be erotic for some of us. Quote: 'There are obvious physical similarities between the mouth and the vagina: the vagina is wet or moist, like the mouth, and may become uncomfortably dry, again like the mouth. It has a ruddy interior and is lined with smooth mucus membrane.' (p. 73)

For some of us, the mouth may even have become a substitute vagina, as it possibly did for me at a young age (and for a while thereafter). For some men, the vagina is a frightening place. Re this phenomenon, clinicians occasionally invoke the term 'vagina dentata', meaning 'vagina with teeth'. Note again a parallel with the mouth! By a sort of dream-logic, one physical organ (the mouth) stands in for another! 🙄

- Ken

I used to be very modest until I got into enemas. I remember the first enema nurse that I went to I almost backed out of the appointment. I was so nervous about getting nude in front of a lady I had never met. But there was something within me that wanted to experience enemas given to me by a woman and this was my opportunity. I am so glad I went through with it because it was a good experience. After about 20 years of enema experience, I have no modesty when I get with an enema nurse who is going go five me enemas. I take my clothes off in a heartbeat and don't feel any embarrassment that I am nude and she is dressed. I know she is going to spend the next two hours giving me pleasure with enemas.