When I was in seventh grade I was sitting in our science class next to a girl named Buffy. Our desks were really small tables that seated two students at each desk. Buffy was a real “wild child”. She had very short hair (for a girl), and had a very foul mouth for a thirteen year old. The teacher was scolding us about something, and I clearly heard Buffy mutter, under her breath, “Fuck my ass!” Now only a few weeks prior, in our Health class, we had been separated into a boys group and a girls group. The rudimentary aspects of sexual reproduction were explained to us, and we were told our corresponding role. It had never entered my mind that someone would have anal sex. What would that be like? Is it even possible? Would that be pleasurable for either party? I was quite shocked by Buffy’s comment, but that was clearly the first time I had been introduced to the topic.
About seven years later I was at college, and gone out with a group of friends for some beers. I was pretty new to this school, having just transferred in as a junior. One of the girls in the group was quite taken with me, and after the drinks I walked her home to her dormitory. It was a coed dorm, and she invited me up to her room. When we got there, she discovered that her roommate was sleeping, so she invited me to the common area lounge. We sat there in the dark and made out for some time. She told me that she wanted to have sex, but I told her that I was a virgin, and was unwilling to punch that ticket just yet. She persisted, and tried very hard to seduce me. I was pretty well resolved, and told her I was not going to put my penis in her vagina. She then said, “That’s not where I want it!” I was very inexperienced, and Buffy’s suggestion notwithstanding, I assumed she was talking about oral sex. I never asked for clarification. Yes. Of course, that must be what she meant! I settled for some heavy petting and groping, and made my escape, my virtue intact, as the sun was beginning to rise that autumn day. As I reconstruct the event, I’m pretty sure she wanted to introduce me to anal sex; pitching (as they say), not catching.
About five years ago, I was with a gal in Hong Kong. She made clear that she wanted sexual intercourse with me, and aggressively mounted me in the cowgirl fashion. After having her first orgasm, she lifted herself up, made a slight adjustment, and took my anal sex flower without so much as a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. I obliged her in a number of positions, but could not finish, as it were. Not wanting to place the soiled ‘tool’ in her ‘garage’ she finished me off with a lovely handjob. I tried anal sex twice after that, but could never get across the finish line. Sorry to all the girls who may crave it. I’m now happy to oblige but only for the ladies’ pleasure.