"surprise" punishments

My boyfriend doesn't bother with any formalities. If he feels I've done something wrong he just throws me over a chair/couch and just starts hitting me with whatever is at hand (usually a bamboo cane) as we have several and they are left around the house.

He is much bigger than me. I'm 5'4 and he is 6'2. He can put me over furniture and undress me without much of a fight. I find it confusing as, usually, I don't understand why I'm being punished until it's over.

He has my full permission to spank me as often and as hard as he wants. We don't use safe words for spankings. I trust him not to take it too far. Perhaps I am giving him a little too much power. I think the spankings would be more effective if I knew why I was getting them during the spanking.

Is this the way it's supposed to be or should things be a little different?

He is much bigger than me. I'm 5'4 and he is 6'2. He can put me over furniture and undress me without much of a fight. I find it confusing as, usually, I don't understand why I'm being punished until it's over.

He has my full permission to spank me as often and as hard as he wants. We don't use safe words for spankings. I trust him not to take it too far. Perhaps I am giving him a little too much power. I think the spankings would be more effective if I knew why I was getting them during the spanking.

Is this the way it's supposed to be or should things be a little different?

Have you talked to him about it? Maybe he has a reason for not telling you up front, or maybe he just doesn’t think about it.

Have you talked to him about it? Maybe he has a reason for not telling you up front, or maybe he just doesn’t think about it.

Not really. Been kind of shy about it. I wouldn't even know how to bring it up.

He should tell you why you are being punished before he does it. And I have a rule. No safeword no play. You are setting yourself wide open by doing this. And no it's not supposed to be the way he's doing it.

O agree letting you know before hand is very important. I understand no safe word with someone you trust... If I am capable of stopping it I can take a whole lot more and it becomes harder for it be effective punishment... that said my "Daddy" knows that if i ever use his name there is a reason it has to stop.... it hasn't happened yet partially because in my mind if I had him stop without a very very good reason I would beg him to give me twice as much for trying to usurp control... Daddy is not overly verbal but he tells me why i am getting it or asks 'You know why you are getting this right?' I think as long as he told me immediately after he punished me why it had happened i would still be ok with it, but not ideal. He will smack me just for our mutual pleasure once in a while but the dynamics of the situation determines how i respond I will quite often ask for more and take it much better if i am not in trouble, not that i ever try to block it or do more than a little squirming... I know most people cannot fully appreciate it, but when I am punished I feel better and and very loved and much closer to Daddy.

While I enjoy my husband's "head of the household" position including him spanking me for both of our pleasure and sometimes for punishment, you situation sounds plenty close to being abusive if not already there. I do not think it to be normal but all couples are different in their relationship. I would have a good heart to heart talk with him and you get some control of what is supposed to be a two way relationship. Just my opinion and no judgement on my part. Denise