Like many of you, I was concerned about telling my wife about my diaper fetish. I had told her a little, but mostly hid my diaper wearing from her. She had made it clear to me that she thought it was weird and wasn’t interested. Here’s how I was able to incorporate diapers into my life:
About four years ago I was on another social platform connecting with other bedwetters and diaper lovers and I met a guy who has become a good friend. He had a similar background to mine, wetting the bed well into his early teen years. And just like me, he was diapered at night for it until he finally stopped.
I learned that he was back in diapers for bedwetting and his wife was OK with it. She wasn’t into the fetish but recognized that he had bladder issues and that he also enjoyed the diapers. He had gone back to wearing them 24/7.
I explained to him how I had been “dry” since I was an early teen, however I had had bedwetting accidents in Boot Camp on multiple occasions, and even wet the bed a few times after I had gotten married. It had become maybe a once a year event, and my wife was always very understanding. She knew my bedwetting history and she would always help me with the sheets when it happened. It seemed to happen when I slept too deeply, there was no medical explanation.
About that same time, my wife and I have been talking about upgrading our mattress to a sleep number bed. It was going to cost us $7000, but our mattress was old and we both wanted something more comfortable. My friend helped me realize that it was the perfect opportunity to reclaim my bedwetting. I didn’t have to worry about destroying the mattress because we would be replacing it anyway.
I had wet the bed recently anyway, and had been drinking a lot more water at that time as part of a weight loss plan, so I had a good excuse. So one night I worked up the courage and I drank a ton before bed to ensure I would wake up with a full bladder. Sure enough I woke up around 5 AM bursting, and after a lot of deliberation I finally just relaxed and let it out. I laid in bed for about 20 minutes, because I didn’t want it to be obvious that it just happened. Then I woke up and was like, “oh no, I had an accident...”
Now I should pause and say that I felt really crappy about this part. I recognize I was being dishonest with her, and I know a lot of people will say that it’s wrong. Honestly I feel like it was wrong of me to do it. But I kind of justified it in that I had been sneaking around wearing diapers behind her back for 10 years, and that also felt dishonest. I hated that I had this secret fetish in my life. By becoming a bedwetter again, I would be able to wear them openly and legitimately in front of her and that felt so much more honest.
I took my time with this process, and didn’t wet the bed again for a month. Then two weeks after that. Then weekly, slowly ramping it up but not too quickly so that it didn’t look staged. Really, I wanted the diapers to be her idea. She knew I wore them when I was a kid and I figured eventually she would suggest I go back to them. But after frequent accidents, I finally brought up the subject myself because I could tell she was embarrassed about it, and she agreed that maybe diapers were a good idea until we see if this goes away. I was also going to talk to my doctor just to make sure nothing was going on (which I did... that was fun and a separate story).
I remember being so happy when I finally could buy a package of diapers and wear them at night in bed with her. The first few nights I actually had a hard time falling asleep. But honestly it wasn’t but a few weeks before I had a legitimate bedwetting accident in my diaper. I know people who work for years to try to become a bedwetter and just can’t, so I think it’s a legitimate tendency for me.
Anyway that’s not the end of it. After a few months I kind of felt guilty because she seemed embarrassed to even talk about my diapers and I felt like it was a huge sexual turnoff for her. It made me feel like a jerk that this was her new reality: a husband in diapers. So I told her that I was going to try to go without them. I thought I could, and it would be no big deal. Sure enough I was dry and didn’t have any accidents.
Weeks went by, maybe months I can’t remember, but the craving to wear them again came back. I wanted it so badly. I realized at the life of a bedwetter really isn’t any impact on the rest of my life, and didn’t have to negatively impact our sex life at all. I spoke with my friend about it more and came to the conclusion that I’m always going to be frustrated unless diapers are a part of my life and I don’t have to hide them from the woman I love.
So once again, I wet the bed on purpose. Then again a week later. I ramped up until one week I wet three nights in a row. I remember that third morning when we were both working on changing the sheets and she finally looked at me across the bed and said,
“so, is there a reason you aren’t wearing your diapers?” That’s what I’ve been waiting for.
I responded, “honestly, I know it’s weird for you to have a husband in diapers and I felt bad.”
“Well I’d rather that than having to change the sheets every morning,” she said. And that was it, I was destined for diapers.
Once we got our new mattress things were even more final. I joked about sleeping naked (I used to enjoy that) and she said, “not in this bed you won’t!” She legitimately won’t let me sleep without a diaper regardless of where we are. I have explained to her that I wet very infrequently in hotels and when we are traveling because I don’t sleep well, but she insists that I’m diapered anyway because an accident would be disastrous in a hotel.
She now has rules for me. I have to prove that I can be dry for 7 nights in a row before I can try sleeping without a diaper. And nights away from home don’t count, it has to be in our own bed. I have yet to accomplish 7 dry nights, and I’m legitimately trying.
The most interesting part is how I started this whole thing on purpose, but my bedwetting came back for real and with a vengeance. Within 3 months I was wetting every week. Not long after that it became 3-5 times a week and has been ever since.
I’ve always been a deep sleeper, and my theory is that subconsciously I have avoided sleeping too deeply as a protection against wetting. I think now that I know I’m protected, I slip into that deep and restful sleep that makes me prone to accidents. The sleep number bed makes me so much more prone to bedwetting too because my back doesn’t hurt from the mattress like it used to. I also wet more often after sex because I’m more relaxed, and a small glass of water before bed will always guarantee a wet diaper in the morning. I assume because it navigates my bladder at right about the time I’m sleeping deepest.
Honestly, I want to achieve those 7 dry nights. For me it would be more exciting for her to tell me when to wear diapers rather than for them to just be “a given”. Like maybe she tells me she thinks I should wear a diaper after a long day, or after sex, or because we are traveling and she doesn’t want to risk an accident. For her to tell me when she wants me diapered is my ultimate dream come true. But the way it looks right now I can’t be dry long enough to make that happen and she doesn’t believe I ever will be.