When did it hit you that you were Gay or Lesbian?

That you were not like mom and dad or how everyone was "supposed" to be 😃

It was real early with me. I remember being excited by the boys and girls equally from as early as i started grade school. Looking back, I don't think I was that different than many considering how many of my friends from the neighborhood were so quick to say yes to my suggestions to compare dicks while swimming or playing under make shift blanket forts. It was under one of those forts as a youngster that REALLY kicked my interest into high gear....

I assume I'm not alone here, 😃

Looking back although my intense curiosity didn't roar to the surface until my late forties, I remember puberty as a pre-teen and being fascinated by my friends' penises. I always looked forward to shower time after basketball practice! I am sure a great many of us back then let our eyes wander, then furiously masturbated as soon as we got home.

I think what set me off pretty early in life was when I was in the boy scouts, we were on a camping excursion . We were in a cabin , sleeping bags on the floor. In the middle of the night one of the older Eagle scouts (Who later on in life was a known gay in the small community where we lived in the 60's) Woke me up and led me to the bathroom. Standing in front of the vanity and mirror he took out his cock and guided my hand to his what seemed huge then(and it was at least 8 or 9 inches) Then took my other hand and had me jerking him off with both hands. After a few minutes he exploded, not a word was spoken and I went back to sleep.I think about this all the time, and although was probably a crime on his part, Makes me horny to this day.

Other than the normal friends and cousins playing with eachother i had not had any other such experience until i was about 21, while in the service (Mid 70s) I unknowingly walked into a gay club the doorman said" you know what kind of place this is? I replied im ok with it. and ended up getting picked up by another service member. Ironically, I had been wearing panties and did some manscaping, shaved my legs and butthole. He talked me into going out to his truck I was a little buzzed and horny so I agreed. He was much taller than I and im 6ft. He dominated me in every way. I started sucking his nice sized cock and then took of my jeans and panties he turned me over and broke out the KY jelly and had his way with me. The sensation was awesome, i was his little whore and loved it. We ended up running into eachother on an overseas tour and had the greatest sex several times a week. I love women but am attracted to a nice cock! Ive had several bi expience over the years

Just like member "tug" said earlier, my sexuality was evident to me early on-likely five or six years old. Neighborhood kids played "doctor" while in first grade and went from there.

Back in the 50's and 60's, everyone wasn't so prudish about seeing flesh as much as today's population has become; that helped fuel the fire. Gym class in school provided further opportunities for comparisons of the flesh as showers and uniforms started in third grade in our school system. Basketball shorts didn't hug the ankles back then either.... I long for the days of less prudishness and more exposed flesh.

I think what set me off pretty early in life was when I was in the boy scouts, we were on a camping excursion . We were in a cabin , sleeping bags on the floor. In the middle of the night one of the older Eagle scouts (Who later on in life was a known gay in the small community where we lived in the 60's) Woke me up and led me to the bathroom. Standing in front of the vanity and mirror he took out his cock and guided my hand to his what seemed huge then(and it was at least 8 or 9 inches) Then took my other hand and had me jerking him off with both hands. After a few minutes he exploded,

Guess he got his pedo merit badge. Doing that today could easily land you in jail.

I agree. I grew up in the 70s and even then it was group showers, short shorts and many many shirtless men. How i miss men being men.... for me to appreciate and dream about. I remember also at a VERY young age swim lessons at the YMCA, and how i would love to get done with the lesson just so i could get naked in that locker room, while mom waited outside. Being free of clothes and surrounded by naked men made me SO happy - the sight of those big hairy dicks just did something for me I couldn't figure out nor talk to anyone about. So when those opportunities with my neighborhood friends to maybe show off my "privates" or explore theirs came about I was all in. I still have very vivid memories of those days; in the woods, in the pool, after school before mom and dads came home. That fun really dried up around high school and all us boys all did what we were supposed to and got girlfriends.....

Just like member "tug" said earlier, my sexuality was evident to me early on-likely five or six years old. Neighborhood kids played "doctor" while in first grade and went from there.

Back in the 50's and 60's, everyone wasn't so prudish about seeing flesh as much as today's population has become; that helped fuel the fire. Gym class in school provided further opportunities for comparisons of the flesh as showers and uniforms started in third grade in our school system. Basketball shorts didn't hug the ankles back then either.... I long for the days of less prudishness and more exposed flesh.

I agree. I grew up in the 70s and even then it was group showers, short shorts and many many shirtless men. How i miss men being men.... for me to appreciate and dream about. I remember also at a VERY young age swim lessons at the YMCA, and how i would love to get done with the lesson just so i could get naked in that locker room, while mom waited outside. Being free of clothes and surrounded by naked men made me SO happy - t.....

Too bad you weren't at the Y during the 1950's-early 60's. That was when nude swimming was mandatory. No swimming suits allowed. You wouldn't have had to wait for the locker rooms ... ha ha.

That said, I never found the nude swimming all that special or odd. The first time was a bit of an eye-opener, but afterwards it was just another one of those things how life was. Grown-ups ordained how it was to be and that was all there was to it.

I never noticed anything going on between boys, but then I may not have been observant enough or simply too much of a goody-goody. The supervisors though, they were the ones who couldn't seem to resist temptation, as I found out myself once.

We were in high school and snuck into the ‘adult theater’ in the city where I grew up. This was in the pre VCR days when you had to go to a theater to see porn. It was the first X Rated movie I had ever seen. There were 3 couples watching the film my BF and I included. The movie got to the obligatory girl on girl scene (a rich lady and her maid) and the other 2 girls were all ‘eww disgusting’ so I went along with it all adding my ewwww’s to the group but inside I was, ‘oh that’s really hot!’ I really remember the feeling I got about ‘oh wow there must be something wrong with me for liking that.’

I would say for me it probably started in my mid-to-late teens, but then really didn't hit me full-force until I was in my mid 20's.

When I was between 10-15 years old, I would "play" with a cousin & a good friend or two. We would show each other our hairless erections, rub penises, and "masturbate" each other. From about 10-12 or so, our masturbation did not include orgasms or cum. From about 12-15 things really ramped-up with orgasms and increasing amounts of cum!

My experiences with other guys took a break from about age 16-17 (not my choice) after my cousin and I started having more serious sex with girls. (My first sexual intercourse was actually when I was about 16 years old with a 32 year-old married woman!)

Then, in college my sexual experiences were completely with girls/women, until about age 25 when I had a sexual experience with a bisexual older man (40's). This experience was both erotic & exhilarating! He convinced me to let him watch me masturbate, then helped me masturbate, then sucked my erect penis......I eventually orgasmed by masturbating myself, and he sucked all of my juices as I was cumming.

I knew at that point that I was bisexual!

I remember being excited by the boys and girls equally from as early as I enter my puberty at age about 12. When I was between 13-18 years old, I often played with one of my cousins and it was a great time for both of us to play so nice boy games and to discover each others sexuality. The pleasure from that games wad a unforgettable experience for both of us.

Early grade school years. We would strip down and put a towel front and rear and play cowboys and Indians. Was fun to see our cocks flopping around as we ran! Tried poking each other anally but either cocks were too small or couldn’t stay hard. A few years later were able to achieve success with a friend as we mutually masturbated and had anal sex!

Back in the 50's and 60's, everyone wasn't so prudish about seeing flesh as much as today's population has become;

I think you have that backwards. Or have you not gone outside during the summer in the last 50 years? People routinely expose flesh that would have been unthinkable back then. People were way more prudish then.

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Back in the 50's and 60's, everyone wasn't so prudish about seeing flesh as much as today's population has become; .

I think you have that backwards. Or have you not gone outside during the summer in the last 50 years? People routinely expose flesh that would have been unthinkable back then. People were way more prudish then

I think you are talking about fashion, rather than true prudery.

For instance, now I am in southern Spain and people do indeed wear clothes that are very sparse indeed. Fashions have changed quite a lot since the 50's and 60's. But the clothes are not meant to titillate or arouse, they are adaption to both climate and pricing.

I could also argue that back in the 50's-60's, nude swimming was by no means uncommon. It was even mandatory in the YMCA, but that too had nothing to do with wanting to arouse others or show off.

So for me it was a little weird. As a teenager I was not a womanizer. So I had no game, no self confidence to even talk to girls.

I’d go online in chat rooms and find someone to talk dirty and look at porn.

I’d always end up in the gay chat rooms and then I’d get off and feel awful about myself. I felt ashamed, felt weird. I didn’t fantasize about playboy bunnies or baywatch babes, I liked real women, chubby women, my friends’ moms and teachers. Men I didn’t have a type but I’d get off and then feel awful.

It was confusing because I thought I was hay but I didn’t want to date a guy. I wanted to date a girl. Now I’m aware that I like both but with men, I’m just physically attracted to them, not romantically.

Before I discovered girls I did all the regular stuff with guys, a lot of guys, trying to find the fire works. It felt good being held down and mounted or on my knees with a mouth full of cock but no fire works. By 13 my parents were fed up with me and sent their slut to boarding school to get rid of her .

Under strict discipline and wearing a terrible grey uniform I met my first real friend. Another Goth girl my own age with the same story. We were together all the time. First it was hand holding then wile watching some other girls making out in the shower and getting horny we tried it and the fire works went off big time it was all gentle stuff not like with the guys. She just disappeared from the school at 16. Then I did a month later. I hope she left on better condition than I found myself. Still I have the same needs from the man and girl. I am married to my Master. Being a considerate and fair man he encourages me to have my normal relations with other girls so I have a girl friend that lives with us sometimes she plays with us. It is, I think, a good relationship of much love and caring. It is the way we are made not indecision. Life would be boring if it was to eat the same thing every day.

"IT" hit me yesterday!!!! I suddenly realized that I am enjoying my interactions with the Zity women more then the Zity men. OMG! I came here with Daddy's Little Girl thoughts and fantasies but it is only the women who seem to really understand my wants and needs. I seem to be more interested in what the woman have to say and offer. Suddenly, I am having Mommy's Little Girl thoughts! Don't get me wrong I'm not ready to put rum in my diet Coke. "Just sayin'"

Patti, you would be amazed at the number of men on here that have similar issues with mothers, or in most cases, memories of their moms.

Maybe I'm different but it never hit me as some have described. I can remember back to nursery schools and having a girlfriend. Throughout elementary school I had a girlfriend yet I found excitement in some of the guys. In high school I had a "serious" girl friend for three years and found myself masturbating with her brother on several occasions.This relationship graduated after college to a live-in situation yet I was active with my college roommate in nightly JO sessions.

It wasn't until my late 20's did my roles reverse. I woke up one day and planned to go to the gay bar in my neighborhood that evening. Although I find myself living a predominantly gay lifestyle, I still seek female sexual partners and really enjoy MWM encounters. Even today you can find me following NASCAR, football, basketball, playing golf and tennis as well as enjoying theatre, the arts, and cooking. My only regret is that I have fund it difficult for me to relate 100% to my straight or gay friends. I would be curious how other "straight" men would be able to relate to my openness with women and them.

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Although I find myself living a predominantly gay lifestyle, I still seek female sexual partners and really enjoy MWM encounters. I

It would seem that you have the perfect (sexual) life, being able get along with and enjoy human beings regardless of gender.

When I was younger and at school I used to get bullied by the boys at school. I didn't have a great deal to do with boys, but I got on better with the girls. I didn't know what was wrong with me, other than I was different in some way to the other boys. With my friendship with girls I didn't really fancy them the same way as the boys did, but I liked talking to them about clothes, make up, and girlie things, including boys.

Sexually I was attracted to girls and not so much boys, yet I liked talking with the girls about boys. I knew I wasn't gay, yet why did I feel like this.??

I transitioned and started to live as a girl. Sexually I was still attracted to girls but still had not had any sort of sexual activity with either sex.

When I moved in with a friend I needed money for rent and living expenses.

She was doing sex work and I soon started doing the same with her. She started to teach me about sex, and this was my first ever sexual experience with anyone.

Yes I was still attracted to girls rather than men.

With living as a woman, and especially with doing sex work, I very soon started to enjoy the attention that men were now paying to me.

Doing sex work to start with I just worked the streets, at first, all I would do was hand jobs or oral.

I not only enjoyed the attention men now paid to me, but I also really enjoyed my sexual encounters with men. As time went on both my friends and myself knew that I needed to do intercourse with men. Obviously I could only do anal, and my friend decided with my agreement that I needed to learn about anal and be prepared to offer it as part of my services when requested by men.

She arranged with someone who we both knew and trusted to help me to lose my virginity so to speak one evening.

We were very careful, and gentle, and with time and practice I began to love anal.

I really began to love sex with men.

So by now I realised that I was bi, as I enjoyed sex with both genders equally as much.

To this day I am bi and still enjoy sex just as much with both genders, but in completely different ways, if that makes sense.? With a woman I find it more loving and caring, whereas with a man it is more about sex and lust if that makes sense.

Each is a completely different kind of attraction, and sex, if people can understand this.

Relatively late, which is to say that I was in my early twenties. I can't say for sure whether it's because I had repressed those thoughts up until then, but I had no reason to hide who I was or anything like that. It just... didn't seem obvious to me until around then that I was a bit attracted to men as well as to women.

My case is similar to other men who have posted here on zity.

Just after puberty I played with other boys basically masturbating together but that was very shortlived. From there I pretty much went into full hetero mode until my 40's or so when I started having dreams about having sex with another guy which I found very troubling- I really thought I was very hetero. As the years clicked by and now into my late 50's, the thoughts of having sex with a guy were now very much present and not just in my dreams. I have always been very anal erotic and really wanted to have another guy penetrate me. I have had my wife fuck me using a strap-on with a lifelike dildo and I loved it. I gradually got up the courage to start seeking out guys for play. It took a lot of courage to have that first encounter and I knew after I did the fears of not being a full hetero guy really made it a nervous situation. After the first few minutes we were both naked, the nervousness melted away and it was just fun enjoyable sex. Before the first encounter I was wondering how I would view myself now that I have had sex with another guy. Well as it turned out I was not felling anxious or uncomfortable at all. I now was very accepting of my sexuality and being bi- it seemed very natural.

At this point in my life, I don't have any qualms about my sexuality and how I view myself. It has been a lifelong journey and I have to say I kind of surprised myself that I am where I am today. Earlier in my life I would never have predicted where I am today.

When I think about. I had started cutting pictures out of mags when I was in 9 grade but they was all of women in swim suits. But then when I started to get feeling for women that made me know. I dont have feelings for guys as I do for women. I don't like sex with guys.

Don't think it'hit' but drop fed and pointed out.

I remember watching rocky horror picture show when a teenager and I suddenly got quite horny during the scene when Frankie goes to Brad's bed - I wanted to be one of them.

I didn't really think much at the time or for many years, although I was always quite anally focused.

I would occasionally watch gay porn on the internet, again not really thinking about IT.

I was seeing a woman who I adored, we did share all fantasies and I made a comment about how I was more into Hugh Jackman (when talking about good looking guys) she followed through with the point and asked if I realised I was bisexual. I guess coming from someone else makes it real. So the answer- I was 40!

My story is somewhat typical.

I was always a gender non conforming girl - growing up in a conservative, religious family with 3 older brothers, it was pretty obvious 'something was up' and I had lots of discussions and fights with my parents about my lack of femininity. At 14, I developed a big crush on a classmate, but sadly it never materialised into a relationship (I was too awkward and embarrassed to even consider flirting with her). For many years I lived as an asexual. I was too busy with work and university studies to seriously date anyone, which was a very good excuse I would use with family members asking me why I was still single. I tried dating men, but it just never worked. It took me a very long time to accept my sexuality and to discover sex. So in a way I always knew, but also it never 'hit' me. I wonder if this is unusual or an experience other women share?

I have always been interested in women and would not change that. Years ago I started enjoying transgenders. I have thought what it would be like to be with one. Over the last couple of years I have been looking at men. Looking at their cute naked bottoms and butt cracks along with their penises. More since I have joined this sight. I see a nice cock now and all I think about is wanting to kiss it all over and sucking it till it comes in my mouth. Now I love to feel that cock in my ass and love to spread those cheeks open and eat that ass inside and out. And raise his legs up and feel how hot inside his sexy bottom is. Now I get really turned on thinking about this. Even now I am turned on just thinking about it. I catch myself sticking my hand in my pants and underwear playing with and rubbing my my hard cock. ?

I suppose at age 12 with a friends penis in my mouth.

From 17 to about 30 or so I was in the grasp of denial and some homophobia.

So I knew early in life that I was different. I didn't know what it was. My behavior, expression and identity (mostly feminine feelings) felt normal to me, but according to social norms at that time (60/70s) didn't allow me. One day I was talking to my mom about how my school mates were teasing my teacher, and I felt sorry for him. I was told that I couldn't talk like that because it isn't normal, its gay.

So I still didn't know much of sex and i didn't know what gay meant. I thought of my feelings as normal but apparently my feelings were gay. That's how I took it.

Fasten forward many years. After my wife left me ( we are now still married and best friends, but not living in the same home and we are not intimate) I made it my number one priority to find my identity. So I thought I was gay and started to go exploring in the gay scene. After some dates I thought I was indeed gay, however after a few years I still didn't really find myself. I actually had a few gay man telling me that they didn't like that I was behaving like a woman, although I just behaved in my natural way.

Than I eventually figured out that I was looking in the wrong direction... not sexual orientation but gender identity.

Now I am a trans woman and "legal" lesbian. Legal lesbian really, since I am in a same sex marriage. How ever since I am interested in both sexes, somewhat, I call my self heteroflexible. Or you can say bi-sexual if you like.

Anyway the question was when... I would say between 5-8 I knew I was different. As a teenager I thought I might be gay, had a few encounters, but married my wife so I was "straight". In my 40's I thought I was gay and later started crossdressing until I realized I was trans. I was 51 when I came out to my family as transgender and started my transitioning.

I am now a post-op transwoman.

I can trace my attraction to guys back to age 7, can even remember their names and faces. But i also had girls i liked too at the same age, though i can see it was a different kind of attraction. i wasn't really conscious of being different or of my attraction to guys till around age 13 or 14. i read CIty of Night by John Rechy and related to it. Then at age 14 i had a dream about a boy in high school who i only knew in passing. In the dream, He came up to me, looked deeply into my eyes and gave me the most romantic kiss i have ever had (in my dreams lol). i woke up wet and pretty worried because up to that point i still denied it, but the fact that it was a dream took my attraction out of the conscious volition realm. After age 14, all my fantasies were about guys when i masturbated. i was religious, so i was deeply distressed by being attracted to guys and tried to (unsuccessfully) suppress and repress my self, but didn't deny how i felt.. just thought it was wrong.

I think I always new I was different. From a young age I was the first one to suggest I'll show you mine if you show me yours. I was the first one who want to touch and kids dick and later at day camp the shower room/changing area was the best part of the day. I loved glimpses of grown hairy men showering or drying off. A friend "talked me in to" blowing him which I did for years. In my very early teens I read about some murders of Gay men taking place at a cruise area in my city. I put two & two together and found out how to get there & began riding my bike there looking for sex. I had some close calls, but for the most part was treated very decently & had some amazing sex over my teen years. I was always cautious so that I think kept me relatively safe. My neighborhood was conservative & I somehow know to keep this all to myself; so I ended up creating two completely separate, incomplete lives. It's been very difficult bring them together after years of fear & hiding. It's a work in progress.