Husband who takes paddling: question

Our marriage is long and happy--it is understood for too much drinking (not drunk) and 'carousing' with male friends, my more religious wife paddles my naked butt when I get home. No argument. It is just accepted. I quick shower and just bend my naked butt over and hold my shins and she paddles me. It hurts like crazy but things are fine between us after. I never can tell or talk about this to any guy. But i am curious is there any guy who takes a paddling/spanking as i do who will share how do you and your wife go about as spanking/paddling. I explained i take it right out of the shower, bending over. How do other guys do it??? Thanks alot.

My wife and I believe in strict punishment. As such I will submit to a Spencer Paddling when she wants to punish me.

As much as I like the idea of a "real" punishment I have zero personal experience with this. My wife has spanked me plenty but it is funishment only. It may hurt some but it is role play not actual discipline.

While I'm mostly the spanker in the household, I get a monthly paddling. A very hard, very long paddling with a lucite paddle while perched over some pillows.

My wife is a strong disciplinarian. She has laid out the rules and a list of my chores. Any deviation from what is expected of me results in a severe spanking and other punishments.

My wife is a strong disciplinarian. She has laid out the rules and a list of my chores. Any deviation from what is expected of me results in a severe spanking and other punishments.

I guess it's whatever works for you. I would never allow that and in fact would probably be in divorce court with a wife that couldn't sit. Different strokes for different folks. Stay safe people.

NorCalMar and chum45 it sounds like you have alot in common in this area.

I will be watching this to see if anyone else is experiencing this kind of strict punishment.

My wife is bigger, stronger & more Dominant than me, and takes me (usually naked, most of the time, she's naked as well). She has no trouble turning me over her knee for a spanking whenever she thinks I need it.

I live in a female dominant marrage. I was told that it would be like this before the wedding, so I knew what to expect. My future mother-in-law and sister-in-law, as well as my furture wife, made it clear that it was expected for a husband to behave properly. They indicated to me that they believed in domestic discipline and female lead relationships. Before our wedding my future wife showed me a strap that would be used on me if I didn't comply with her wishes. She told me that three men before me were engaged to her, and when they saw the strap they ran. She told me I was free to go if I would not cooperate. Well the other three may have run, be this just made me more commited to the relationship. It has been a good relationship over the years. She is fair about dishing out the discipline, but when it is dished out it is painfull.

My wife is bigger, stronger & more Dominant than me, and takes me (usually naked , most of the time, she's naked as well). She has no trouble turning me over her knee for a spanking whenever she thinks I need it.

I often wonder how much of the punishment is play-acting. In the sense that there is a sort of scenario, maybe never discussed but worked out through trial and error, where both end up assuming roles they like and which addresses their (sexual) needs.

Meaning that if it is done with consent, then it's not really punishment, but in fact a reward. Only both pretend it to be punishment.

I can't help but think that if anyone, wife or partner or whomever, really took to punishing me as true discipline, then the marriage/relationship would be over before you could say Jack Robinson. To me, physically punishing someone because of undone chores, seeing friends too late or other stuff like that is about as insulting and degrading as things can get. I wouldn't take it at all, nor expect anyone else to take it either.

Playing around as pretend or even unspoken pretend is something else. But the real thing? Forget it.

I often wonder how much of the punishment is play-acting. In the sense that there is a sort of scenario, maybe never discussed but worked out through trial and error, where both end up assuming roles they like and which addresses their (sexual) needs.

I've always feel it's like you described so well.

There's nothing like giving or receiving a nice, long stress relief spanking. Does a body good!

There's nothing like giving or receiving a nice, long stress relief spanking. Does a body good!

My late partner loved a red hot ass but it was mostly all play. I only spanked her for real once and she knew she had earned it. It is surprising to me how many guys get spanked by their wife's or significant others. Whatever floats your boat I guess. I hate even the idea. It's the neanderthal in me.

I'm punished for my wrong doings, my rudness, my atitude, and what ever else that she decides. She is fair about it, and we talk about what she decides I did wrong. I almost always agree with her. The punishment always meets the crime. For something minor, it is a good hand spanking, the next step would be a paddeling, then there is the strap. Most punishments are received with me stripping from the waist down and bending over the bed. But then there a major things, like when I yelled at her mother. For crimes like that, in her art studio she has a old butcher block with the front legs cut down 6 inches so it stands on a slant, I bend over that, and hands and legs are secured to the legs of the block. She will then use the strap, or worst, the cane.

I'm punished for my wrong doings, my rudness, my atitude, and what ever else that she decides. She is fair about it, and we talk about what she decides I did wrong. I almost always agree with her.

I really do not get this, if the intention is to really and truly punish for real wrong doings. You invariably agree with what your wife thinks is rude behavior, impoliteness, a wrong attitude. And you submit.

But if you think she is fair about her assessment of what you have done wrong, why still persist in the wrongdoing? Surely it can't be difficult after 3 or 4 or 5 corrections to understand what it is you are doing wrong in her eyes. And then stop doing it and adjust your attitude. This certainly if you discuss the wrong-doing with her. After a certain number of transgressions, you must surely be able to identify what they are and take steps to cease the offending activity or attitude. If you wish to stay together that is. Just stop whatever it is you are doing wrong in her eyes.

But if you don't stop or take no or little effort to correct your behavior, then I really have to conclude that you yourself wish for punishment to be applied. That it is something you wish for and that I suppose your wife likes to administer.

Why not just admit it and then see how the punishment play can evolve from there, into something possibly more intense and fulfilling? Why not be open and honest about it?

I spank my husband for any number of reasons. Early in our relationship, he expressed a strong interest in being spanked (no prior experience)...and I pounced on it. By no means is this a 24/7 lifestyle. Because while I’m the disciplinarian and he gets spanked several times a week, I strongly believe most external views of our relationship would peg me as being subservient. I dote on him in every way and we both love it like that. In turn, when he’s feeling stressed, he’ll either “act out” until I offer to spank him or—and this happens more frequently than not—he’ll come up to me and ask that I please spank him (intensity varies). And he has every right to refuse if I offer, although he never has.

After a certain number of transgressions, you must surely be able to identify what they are and take steps to cease the offending activity or attitude. If you wish to stay together that is. Just stop whatever it is you are doing wrong in her eyes.

But if you don't stop or take no or little effort to correct your behavior, then I really have to conclude that you yourself wish for punishment to be applied.

Well, my wife doesn't spank me, but I sure notice a number of things that I should alter or cease and yet... well, you know. I don't think it is just a guy thing either, more likely a human thing. Sometimes things we at one level know we either should not do or would rather not do... we still do.

I'm not sure if a spanking, punishment enema, or other physical punishment would work any better than the "I should" bit, but it could be something symbolic, something with a hint of penance, etc. Might even lead to hot sex after.

I'm not sure if a spanking, punishment enema, or other physical punishment would work any better than the "I should" bit, but it could be something symbolic, something with a hint of penance, etc. Might even lead to hot sex after.

Sometimes I think the prospect of sex (hot or not) is the whole point of such punishments for (sham or staged) transgressions. Or else it is a substitute, which can be just as fulfilling. for sex. I sincerely doubt any of these spanking punishments has any worth in correcting unwanted behavior.

For the most part it's simply part of sex play, and agree that -

Sometimes I think the prospect of sex (hot or not) is the whole point of such punishments for (sham or staged) transgressions. Or else it is a substitute, which can be just as fulfilling. for sex. I sincerely doubt any of these spanking punishments has any worth in correcting unwanted behavior.

Sometimes I think the prospect of sex (hot or not) is the whole point of such punishments for (sham or staged) transgressions. Or else it is a substitute, which can be just as fulfilling. for sex. I sincerely doubt any of these spanking punishments has any worth in correcting unwanted behavior.

I guess what I'm saying is that from your noticings it doesn't seem to be any worse at changing behavior than my best (or, guess I should admit it - "middle-of-the-road") intentions do, so why complain more about it? If it doesn't change behavior but leads to fun then that beats feeling a bit guilty and not having it lead to fun or changed behavior.

Besides, I'd sure rather have my wife whale on my ass and move on than do the whole quiet resentment thing (which also doesn't work very well, let's face it).

so why complain more about it? If it doesn't change behavior but leads to fun then that beats feeling a bit guilty and not having it lead to fun or changed behavior.

I'm not complaining. But sometimes I feel that some go out of their way to present their spanking play as a justification for something else, as if that would make it respectable or more socially acceptable, than simply saying it is their form of sex play.

And the thing is, it can't lead to both fun (sex play) and changed behavior. Because the supposed improper behavior is what leads to the fun play. Change behavior and no more justification for the (sex) spankings.

Just admit it is that instead of trying to come up with justifications as if they were explaining it to their church group. Like the Christian Domestic Dominance spiel is supposed to be another way of playing at socially/religiously acceptable bdsm ...

My wife and I used to play card and/or board games - sometime even athletic games - where the loser had to initiate something sexual - butt massage, analingus, oral sex etc....it was a gateway to sexual pleasure. We never kidded ourselves that it was nothing more than a fun way to initiate sex. (Actually, there really wasn't a loser!). I think the same holds for the punitive spankings - there is no lack of understanding that the "transgression" is nothing more than an excuse to initiate a sensual session......sometimes a phony made-up reason is a good reason to do something!

I agree with @agracie that sometimes folks can get too caught up in the "games" or role-play. Need to keep it under control for what it is.

I am a gay male, in a gay relationship. My guy is 4 years older then me and a bit taller then I am. I am the dominant in our relationship (in bed & out of bed). We have been dating since summer. He knows very well that I will spank him if he does things that I don't approve! I tend to run a tight ship in some ways. He has plenty of freedom. But he also knows that I have expectations and he knows I am serious on certain things.

I have spanked him in playful ways when just the two of us are in the house, or when were having sex. I have also spanked him after I have spoke to him about doing things that I don't approve of. I usually spank him with my hand. He had a friend over, who I didn't want over once. So I pulled him over my knee and spanked him. I pulled his sweat pants down and spanked him right on the bare ass! I think he knows when I mean business.

I don't do it to be abusive, I do it to let him know I am in charge and that I have expectations. Financially I am the bread winner between us....

Sometimes its hard for me to lay down the law. But in the end, it needs to be done and he always admits that he understands why.