Definitely sexual for me. It started when I was really young too, my mother used to be a preschool teacher, and after we moved to New York, she would occasionally babysit little ones at our house. It was around this time, when I was four or five, something started. At the time I was far to young to understand anything, and I didn't care for the most part. Fast forward to 7-8 years old, I managed to figure out it was diapers that turned me on, for whatever reason. I used to wear every pair of underwear I owned at the same time to simulate the tightness and bulk of a real diaper. But I only did it for a quick minute in the morning, as not to get caught. These feelings I tried to suppress as the years went on, only to culminate in middle school, when I went shopping with my grandmother to buy stuff for my at the time, baby cousins. They were only 2 at the time, and still in diapers 24/7, so we came home from Target with the biggest they had, in the size 6. Grandma asked me to take them upstairs to the back bedroom until she left to visit them in a week or so. Being devious and knowing it was my time, I slit the top of the box open and peeked inside. There were three separate packages of disposable diapers. I shoved the end packs against the finger holes, so no one would suspect that the middle pack was missing. I remember feeling the pure ecstasy rise inside me as I held the pack. I remember opening them up in the privacy of my room, and smelling a familiar smell, not known for over 9 years. That night after everyone was asleep, I took my first diaper out of the pack and tried to get it on. Being small and still 12 was not enough, but I figured out if I opened the diaper up and did the Velcro tabs, I could take a stapler and staple the tabs shut and that was enough to get it on. Wearing it that night, smelling the fresh aroma, and seeing myself in the mirror was invigorating. I wanted to see how much the diaper could hold, so the next morning I showered with it on, and the very first time I felt the swell of the diaper touch me down there was indescribable. I've been doing it ever sense, only now with proper fitting disposables, enemas, marshmallows, and anything else I can think of to keep it fresh. It is very sexual for me, the rubbing, the swelling, the smell. I went to therapy for it as I did eventually get caught by my mother, but she didn't make me stop, just wanted me to be safe and responsible about it. After a few years, my counselor said it was very unlikely it would ever go away, and to just learn to live with it, as it wasn't hurting anyone.