Still a bisexual virgin at 63

I want so badly to explore man2man sex. I'm just so happily married with a big family and lots of friends. I hate the thought of losing everything and cheating on my lovely loyal wifey. I flirted on Craigslist. I got offers. Nice guys dedicated to discretion and also married. But I never follow through.

Afraid I'll go to my grave never knowing the sensations. If feel I need this. It's part of me. But won't destroy my marriage - if caught - to get it. And I know I could get away with it but I still hesitate. Don't even know what I'm asking. I guess just looking for some empathy advice

Well, I can't really relate but it is very sad if you never get to try out a long time desire. I don't know if it would work here, but I like to think honesty is usually best. Could you talk to your wife about this? Maybe she could be understanding and either let you experiment on your own or bring in a bi guy to join the both of you? What if she played with you with toys or a strap-on - would that give you some satisfaction along these lines?

I can understand how difficult that conversation might be... But just imagine if she would've said yes for all these years, but yet... you just never asked.

Good luck!

Well, I can't really relate but it is very sad if you never get to try out a long time desire. . . .

You probably don't want to hear this and already know it.

Most of the world never gets to try out a long term desire.

That's just the way things are.

Weigh it against the consequences. If you really want it, make it happen.

Of course, you may have to give up what you have in order to get what you want.

Nobody gets everything.

I wish i had an answer for you.... I've helped out guys in your situation before but it is a risky thing... I and most guys are not going to expose you but it is a risk... I wouldn't advocate you go for it... I have never pushed a man to "just do it", I have been part of it when they were going to do it. Sometimes I have not even known. One time years back I had no idea that this hunky fellow was even married till he looked at the clock and said "$h!t is that the time my wife is going to kill me the kids will be home in an hour." Wish we could have done more but had partaken of a good 90 minutes of play. All vanilla but still nice. I hope you get to do what you want to one day but as SWITCH said it just may not happen.

Many married men just so badly want to try sex with a much younger and more attractive woman. Nobody would dream of telling them that it was worth destroying their marriage and family for it.

Maybe you'd get away with cheating. Maybe you wife is cheating on you right now and getting away with it too. Would she deserve empathy?

Wanting gay sex is no different. You want sex with someone who isn't your wife, and want your wife and perfect family too.

Cheating because you want to try gay stuff is still cheating. I don't see why I should be empathetic to be honest. Certainly nobody would be for a married man who went off to have great sex with a younger yoga instructor, or whatever the stereotype is.

I can relate to this. I am curious about certain bi activities, but have not acted on them (at least not yet). However, for me it is not about cheating (as my wife and g/f would know). I am more concerned with STDs and hygiene. Yes condoms could be worn (and would be worn especially for anal), but my level of paranoia is very high!

The other issue I have is that I feel most men will not be honest about their sexual activity with others (past or present), again adding to the STD issue. I am HOPING this is a misconception as I AM totally honest, and would hope there are others like me. I guess this issue of mine is due to someone I did know that I am 99% was not honest with me about his past/present.

There are two key factors in play if you are a married bi guy and want to actually meet another guy for sex.

First you have to be mentally be prepared to realize yes you are cheating if you know your wife would not approve or worse case scenario divorce you if she found out. You will have to live with that or construe some rationalization that enables you not be overwhelmed with guilt.

Secondly if you really want to have sex with another guy and want to keep this totally private then you will have make sure you can get away with it and not get caught. Again this type of thinking / planning can produce guilt feelings for what you are about to do. But in your favor, there are other guys just like you who want to have sex on the down low and keep their regular life intact. There are websites that you can use to find other guys who are interested NSA sex, e.g., Silver Daddies is geared for older men looking. The men are mostly older but there are men of all ages on the site who range from closeted bi to openly gay.

This is a big step to take in your life. You really need to think it through.

I am a hetero man, but have had several encounters for mutual enemas. I enjoyed the giving and receiving, but never felt any "chemistry" or attraction.

My first session was more that 35 years ago, and it was a two hour drive from my home. When I went into his house he showed my an album of men giving and getting enemas. He asked me if I was ready, and I agreed. We went into his bedroom, and he had a shower curtain covering his bed, and a hook in the ceiling with a chain hanging from it. He asked me to undress, and he did likewise. He then showed me a tray with a collection of nozzles on it, and told me to select the ones I wanted to try. He had me lay on my stomach, and he lubed my rectum deeply. He inserted a nozzle and I took the whole bag, because I did a prep enema at home before I left. After expelling it, he hung the bag from the chain and he assumed the knee to chest position. he told me to lube his rectum, and said

" you can go in deep because I already took an enema before you got here."

After several bags each, he inserted his finger again and massaged my prostate. I then massaged his prostate, and we masturbated each other to climax.

I have had several more sessions with other men, and would still be open to trying this again.

Thought the same thing. Great marriage. Great family. But when sex slowed to a crawl for us I grew sexually frustrated. Finally I took the plunge at 64. I love it. Of course I wish I could do it without sneaking around but that’s life. I just wish I had done it sooner. I am not suggesting you act on your urges. Everyone has to make their own way but monogamy is not the answer for me. And I’m not the least but sorry.

You could try the "dream" approach to test your wife. I'd only try this if the marriage was sexless or near sexless. You tell her you had a weird dream where you were intimate with a man. A great way to sound her out. You can take a day-dream and just call it a real dream.

If for any reason your wife responds positively [ not likely but possible] then you could discuss the subject.

In all likelihood you will need to remain monogamous and enjoy the experience through masturbation with anal toys etc.

You might have the rare wife willing to try pegging. A longshot though.

Best of luck on this. Don't risk a good marriage just for a fantasy.

It is a very common fantasy though, especially as men get older and wives lose interest.

Sad to read .... One thing, I've had many desires that seemed out-of-reach, yet as great luck and a great spouse would have it, I was able to fulfill. For what it's worth, while fulfillment was great, it didn't prove to be as perfect as I imagined, and there was always something new and different I then sought.

My suggestion is for you to make an appointment with an erotic masseur. Being nude on their table with their oily hands all over your body is very nice and extremely sexual but rather clinical. Some advertise that they give prostate massages and that will certainly be wonderful for you to experience, ending with an oily hand-job. But it's not getting together with another male to make love. There are no emotional entanglements involved and you leave, having paid for their services and return to your wife and family with a great relief and knowledge but the same husband and father you were before. You would then know what it's like to have sex with a male and not have to go to your grave wondering.

I had been Bi-sexually active with my wife in my 30's before we married so it was an easy transition. We both played with our former boss and his "Slave" . It was quite a few years later in my early 50's when we married and she was accepting of the fact that I never got over playing with men. Now that I am divorced I've only had one other female partner. She too was aware of my bi-sexual tendencies and even participated in using my toys on me. Lately I think I am all over the whole M4W thing because it just seems easier than dating, romancing, the whole "Thrill of the Chase" has lost it's luster. I am happy to be heteroflexible.

Does anybody know if quaxy lost his virginity.

I empathize with the poster and the millions of men around the world in a similar situation. Society advances slowly, but it is advancing. I've seen a tremendous change in attitudes in the last 4 decades. When I was in my early 20's I was approached by a much older man for sex. It shocked and disgusted me. Not his age, lol, the fact that someone wanted to do "gay things" with me.

Fast forward a few decades, I love bi sex and I'm into crossdressers and trans women too. Partly because I have evolved but more so because society in general is more accepting. It would not shock friends and family today if they knew what I enjoyed nearly as much as it would have 40 years ago.

No one can tell another married man what the right thing to do is. All we can do is offer moral support and empathy. One thing for sure, it is never too late to explore bi sex. I've met men in their 70's and 80's who are just getting started.

En club J'ai connu beaucoups d'hommes qui voulaient avoir une expérience bi homo,ce qui facilitais c'est que j'ai des seins et zizi et testicules minus,la plupart je ne les ai vu qu'une fois,ils étaient très excités et content de l'expérience mais ça leur suffisait,d'autres sont revenus plusieurs fois ils étaient devenu bisex malgré qu'ils s'en défendaient mais au bout de deux trois fois ce n'est plus une expérience

It seems like some who have responded to this thread have some issues relating to cheating and to sex. Each has to determine their own interpretation as to what is cheating and to weigh what your partner considers cheating. I personally can't add my personal interpretation to cheating because every one and every couple have their own definitions as to what is right or wrong behavior in a relationship. If your partner says, “sure, go ahead” is that any less cheating than you making the decision to explore your interests on your own? If you are hung up on traditional religious values, ya, you might be in for a rough road but if you are a bit more open minded about your drive or interest in exploring sex with another man then you have to decide the best way to explore that option. I know many men who have had a m/m encounter and in some cases it has enhanced their relationship with their partner. Although I do not believe that “cheating” can be so defined as some on this thread, I think that the feedback here is great.

The way I see it being bisexual and having bisexual fantasies are 2 entirely different and separate things. Even actually going through with those fantasies wouldn't make one bisexual unless you really enjoyed it and continued to seek it. I have known men who have had long time bi fantasies but couldn't bring themselves to go through with it when given the chance.