My first munch

I'm going to a munch tomorrow evening, and I'm a bit nervous, being so new to all this.

My girlfriend (who is not coming) told me to just be myself, and if anybody seems friendly, and compatible, exchange fetlife addresses.

Anything else I should know?

The invite says street clothes. Sexy street, or office street?

This is close to home. What if there's people I know?

How do I break the ice, and approach someone?

How do I know if strangers are dom, sub, top, bottom?

Sorry about the multiple questions.

While I don't have a ton of experience at munches I would say :

- Office street. Like you're going to happy hour right after work. Its a public venue that has no idea why this crowd is there.

- Then you already know kinksters... and have someone to start talking to!

- I suggest emailing the host of the event. Tell them you are new, get their description or a pic, and approach them first. Every organizer of any event I've been to is the nicest person, and they know exactly how to handle newbies and will probably introduce you to some other very trusted friend. They like new people and are happy to help - especially women!

- I wouldn't be surprised if actual kink isn't discussed much at all. Just follow the lead... it's more about meeting people and learning about them as people, making friends, not "Hey, what kinks do you like?"

- If a conversation gets private, they'll tell you their D/S inclination, or you'll just know. But anyone wearing a collar - good bet they are sub!

Like GF says, just be yourself, believe in your gut if someone seems creepy, and find the 'mother hen' who will guide and protect you if need be.

Have fun!

I'm going to a munch tomorrow evening, and I'm a bit nervous, being so new to all this.

My girlfriend (who is not coming) told me to just be myself, and if anybody seems friendly, and compatible, exchange fetlife addresses.

Anything else I should know?

The invite says street clothes. Sexy street, or office street?

This is close to home. What if there's people I know?

How do I break the ice, and approach someone?How do I know if strangers are dom, sub, top, bottom?

Sorry about the multiple questions.

You what???

You have been anally fucked and fisted in public sex clubs and you're nervous about a munch???

There's something wrong with this picture! 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁

Just be yourself and talk, get to know the people. If you're nervous, let the others lead the conversation until you feel more comfortable with them. Let the conversation take on a life of its own.

If there are people you know and you like them you're ahead of the game.

You break the ice at a munch the same way you meet new people at a dinner party. You say hello and introduce yourself.

Tell a little about yourself, ask them a bit about themselves. Let the conversation volley back and forth this way.

This really isn't complicated. You're all perverts and should have an understanding of where you're all coming from.

The best way to make a person interested in you is to be interested in them.

I host a munch in my local community. I often get people asking similar things while also feeling nervous about going.

I usually say to them: a munch is really like a meeting of any other group of friends at a pub, like a recreational baseball team. The difference is that people are also allowed to talk about sex and kink in addition to all of the other stuff that they talk about. (Like CJ1999 said, don't be surprised if you don't hear a lot of talk about sex in conversation.)

Don't worry if someone is top/bottom, etc. At this stage in the game, it doesn't really matter. Go in with the attitude of getting to know people, not trying to find potential play partners. (If you want to find play partners, that will come naturally enough once you know people, and they know you.) In any case, people's roles often change; over time, for different people, and for different activities; it's rarely as simple as one label.

A pretty easy way to break the ice is to just tell people that you're new. Most people at the munches I go to remember what it's like to be new themselves, and so will help you feel welcome. They might tell you about things that are going on in the community; going to events is often the next step after attending your first much. If you have specific interests and would like to find out about events for that, do ask, as people will often give you advice on where to look.

Hope that helps!

All of the information they are giving you seems very logical. I think I am jealous of you for being able to go to a munch. I have always wanted to attend one. I hope you have fun and I hope you share your experiences with us when you are done. Have fun!

Mashie

Mashie--go to a munch with doc. You don't have to join anyting.

That's much easier said than done Sue, lol. Trust me, I've tried.

Mashie

Ok, it's all said and done.

Read my blog 'She's a very kinky girl' new post 'My first munch' for my reactions, and experiences.

It was weird. Good weird....I think.

Thanks for sharing with us. I can't wait to go and read it.

Mashie

Anyone have any recommendations on how to find a local munch? I searched and the best I could find was findamunch.com, but they appear to be outdated.