Can get hard but can't have orgasm

I am 62, just divorced and have not been able to have an orgasm for quite some time. I can almost "get there" but can't quite push over the edge. Any one have this problem or have any tips to help me finish the deal?

I would suggest you see a doctor. Certain types of medication can cause DE (Delayed ejaculation) or no ejaculation.

Please note I'm not advising anything other than seeking the help of a medical professional.

I'm older than you and have had this problem sporadically for many years. I read everything I could find on the subject, and concluded that in my case it was not related to any medication I was currently taking. I have no idea what causes this condition. It is not common, and there doesn't seem to be any readily available remedy.

Achieving an orgasm is obviously a complex occurrence involving physical and mental components. One study I read suggested that some individuals become somehow removed mentally from the act of intercourse, and become "spectators" watching themselves perform with a lack of "connection" to what they are doing physically.

I could always achieve an orgasm by masturbating, and you don't say whether you can. My partner when I had difficulty was supportive, anxious to make sure it wasn't anything she was doing or not doing. She urged me to not think too much, and just to enjoy the sensations. I have concluded that in my case, the mental component is key. It helps if I envisage erotic imagery.

If you can make yourself come, then you know everything works. Then, it's just a question of making it happen with a partner, and if you haven't been too sexually active since the divorce, that might be part of the problem.

Good advice here so far. I have the similar problem but mine are from antidepressant meds plus possibly aging. Use toys, fetish items and fantasy as much as you can, which has helped me a great deal. I'm 65. Have you ever done prostate massage? I started it a couple of years ago and I may not get full blown orgasms every time, but the near-orgasmic sensations during firm massage are great. I use a stainless steel Njoy PureWand for my prostate massage, as it's both firm and long enough to give my anything from light to very vigorous massage. I'd definitely suggest you see a urologist just to be sure. Let us know how you're doing, and good luck.

Eric

Hi, I have no real answers. I suggest you speak with a trusted professional. Did you mention if you were able to bring yourself to cum on your own? I mean solo? Best wishes, keep us up to speed sir/

Have your wife or girlfriend give you a prostate massage while jerking you off. That will speed you up.

Of course this doesn't help while you're having intercourse.

YES YES AND GOT TO TRY THAT... DUDE!

If you're 62 and recently divorced, there's a good chance you're depressed, maybe without even being aware of it, and that's definitely a rainstorm on the orgasm parade.

If you can afford it, experiment with some toys you always wondered about, and don't stop paying attention to sexy ladies. Just remember to always be a gentleman. Think of the Dos Equis guy, the Most Interesting Man in the World, and the old one, not the new one!

If you're 62 and recently divorced, there's a good chance you're depressed, maybe without even being aware of it, and that's definitely a rainstorm on the orgasm parade.

If you can afford it, experiment with some toys you always wondered about, and don't stop paying attention to sexy ladies. Just remember to always be a gentleman. Think of the Dos Equis guy, the Most Interesting Man in the World, and the old one, not the new one!

Yes, the older guy is sophisticated, coiffed and turns me on, the new guy is just a bit too sloppy.

I was trying to be encouraging!

I am 62, just divorced and have not been able to have an orgasm for quite some time. I can almost "get there" but can't quite push over the edge.

First of all, congratulations on being virile and potent at age 62!

If this is a sudden deal, like right after the Judge inked your emancipation papers, it's most likely upstairs in the cranium. If it precedes the separation agreement by a good bit, say a couple years, it may be something else, which a doctor can possibly analyze and treat. But if you're still getting hard with no issues, chances are good it's mental.

I was once - at a much younger age - in a similar predicament. Recently divorced and admittedly down in the dumps (depressed), I felt 'guilty' to have an orgasm without the now-former Mrs (a polite term, at best) at the center of it. That didn't last long once I realized I was 100% free, and I resumed my pre-marital twice daily jack-off habit in short order. Then of course, I realized I had carte blanche to start fucking other women, which I soon did.

Two simple suggestions to put your quandary to the test:

1. Go to a skilled masseuse who offers a thorough, certified massage with a very happy ending (believe me, she'll know exactly what to do) and:

2. Get a 'Fleshlight.' (Google it, even Amazon sells them) I had my doubts about these things but this is literally the best near-pussy you'll ever experience. In fact, it's better than half the women I've actually had. I tried one for the first time and couldn't last two minutes, that's how good they are. Lord only knows how much better the sexbots with similar syn-vag technology will be in the coming (!) years...

Bone-us suggestion: start fucking other women. If you can get rock hard at 62, and are having trouble cumming (gosh, you might just last an hour already...) you should realize at some level the value of yourself as a commodity in the over-40 dating market with these harpies. Never underestimate the receptiveness of a cat lady to long-denied hard dick.

If you still can't cum after getting hard and trying the above options, it's definitely Doctor time, and not in the kinky Zity sense...

Good luck.

I agree with @radio and @Agasmic - the problem does sound psychological in nature. Depression and high stress, including messy relationship breakups, can seriously interfere with sexual function for a time.

Another possibility is low testosterone. I had a brain tumor (in pituitary) when I turned 60, and it lowered my testosterone and raised my prolactin, and i could not get an erection at all. I am now on testosterone therapy, exercise more than I did, take supplements, low dose Cialis, and improved my diet...I also do semen retention--all these help, and now i get very hard erections several times a day, and for as long as i want, even a few hours...and i am hornier than I was

It’s been an ongoing issue for me my whole life. I can almost always orgasm through masturbation but I require intense simulation and a long time to cum in any situation. I haven’t cum inside of anyone for years. I’d love to give you advice but I understand your frustration.