Does your bisexuality ebb, and flow?

I'm confirmed bisexual, and have been since high school (probably since birth). Assuming bisexuality is a spectrum, with Only Women on one end, and Only Men on the other, and we stay somewhere on the spectrum (some near the middle, others leaning toward one side).

Does your interest slide from one end toward the other, and if so, how often?

I have found my inclinations change about every four years, and, of course, not over night.

Right now I'm lesbian leaning, and have been for a few years. I still like (and have great sex with) guys, but my motor purrs best with a woman.

I have been straight leaning at times, enough to marry men (oops, I knew that pendulum was going to swing) but still need some pussy.

My primary attraction changes, but I'm still bi.

Anyone else, or have you found your comfort zone, and you stay there?

On a zero to 100 scale, I am 98% heterosexual which is why my profile says hetereoflexible. In general, I do prefer sex with men but I do love the time with these women. When I was younger (late teens to early thirties) I had more sex with women than I do now.

I have a relationship with two women in particular who I see once or twice a year in a sexual realm. We are very good long-term friends who see each other often and have for 10-20 years. We have never had a threesome together, the two women know each other and that we see each other sexually, neither of them and I ever had a threesome with my husband and we don't plan to. One woman is a lesbian and the other is 98% heterosexual like me. My husband knows these women and freely gives me time to be with them.

I have other posts on my relationship with these two women.

This one is a little hard to answer and put on a zero to one hundred scale. I really love being with my husband and I enjoy sex with him to the point that if I had to keep to him exclusively, I would be very happy with that. When Sarah was in my life it was about 70/30 between my husband and her as far as the sexual encounters went. I prefer men by far but with the right woman I feel every bit as satisfied as when I am with my husband or another man.

But I am for sure bi-sexual in that I enjoy sex with either a man or a woman depending on my mood or cravings at the time. I just enjoy sex whether it is with my husband or intimate friends.

I find I have difference preferences between men and women for different activities. For example I prefer sex with men but my submissive side is much stronger toward a firm woman. Nowadays particularly to a younger woman because it is much more humbling. I have been spanked by men also, but my strong preference is to find myself over a woman's knee but I get an extra thrill when men are watching

Call me Missy Confused!

YES this is so me. Currently going through a phase of being mostly attracted to men after living within the lesbian community for over a decade. Rather baffled to find myself back in the straight world. After so long in my nice queer bubble, it's kind of a shock dealing with cis-boys again.

I am not directly bisexual. My little bisexuality is associated with using guys (some parts of them) as fetish objects and I don't have such fluctuations, but I always change my fetish objects I like.

Back in the 90's slowly I noticed a pattern that went against so called main stream thinking. When I started looking at human sexuality, stripping away social programming, religion down to the point of the animal that we are and what people thought the norm to be, it was not what one would expect. What appeared is the bell curve with heterosexual at one end and homosexual at the other. I believe the reason we don't see it as apparent as it really is for the aforementioned. The majority of the people in the world don't look inside of themselves and question who they are and what they really want. How many people reject or suppress desires for the same sex because that is not the norm, fear of what others will think. Only those with the courage find their true self.

Interesting @Master_Intrepid , so if everyone was in their own individual, nonjudgmental bubble the sexuality curve would be peaked at bisexual and attracted to both sexes, with very few on the 100% heterosexual or homosexual ends? As you were looking at human sexuality, was it mostly on sites like this? Or other sex or kink related sites? Because that set of participants are much more likely to enter that middle ground, because they are more free to discuss or explore their sexuality. But that leaves out probably 90% of the population who would never come to a sexual discussion. And certainly, while many of them are actually hiding or fooling themselves I doubt it would be a majority.

I really am on the 100% heterosexual end, as I just can't find anything sexual with another man. Believe me, I could have a lot more sexual experiences if I was open to that, but I just can't do it. And I'm just not sure that I am really that rare.. Maybe it would be a flattened Bell curve, still higher in the middle but more of a bump than a mountain.

No doubt an Interesting discussion...

@CJ1999, No I did not base it on site like this, I looked at many different areas to reach that conclusion. Keep in mind when I was looking at this it was the 90's, so very little internet, but I kept my eyes, ears open and studied many areas. To only look at a singular area to draw a conclusion is fine but one has to state the limit of what was observed in that singular area. I was taught not to limit oneself when looking at things. Coming from a technical background, when one comes up with an idea, as my father called it, the murder board, you picked your idea apart to find all the possible flaws and then make those corrections as necessary. Given I am a 3D thinker, I look at things from many different angles so I hopefully can see all the facets of the idea. And no, I would tend to agree it is not a high curve and human sexuality is more complex than being binary and I have known people that have had both male and female organs. People that have had sex change operations and become the other sex to the point you would never have guessed that they did a sex change operation, even after talking to them.

I am one of those 'rare' (or so I am told) 50/50 bisexuals. I'm just as attracted to girls as I am to guys.

However, I do ebb and flow. It won't be for years, or anything near it.

Sometimes I just decide to hate an entire gender because the fucktards with dicks don't relaise how shitty it is to have cramps and I can't even look at a guy without getting annoyed!... Yes I'm being a hormonal bitch when I say that, but it's a pretty big cock block.

Other times, especially if I have just had some friends or other girls bitch and whine, I just don't want to deal with the emotional stuff that comes with girls. Yes, we are higher maintenance.

However, I still call myself 50/50 because these moods never last more than a week. Some decent porn and I'll be right back to center an hour after declaring I am a lesbian for life.

Thanks for the insight, @JR3 , it sounds like you have the best of both worlds... or the worst! LOL

JR3- You hit the nail right on the head. Men being whiny, and whimpery gets to be a bit much, so I switch over. After the gentleness, and compassion of a woman for a while, I can't wait to get a big clumsy guy, with a big clumsy dick.

I find this all quite interesting.... in a purely academic sense as I am 99%-100% gay.... I am far to scared of the vagina dentata to ever go there... lol.

I am basically a woman type of guy but still want a cock to play with. One time, my girlfriend , who has a part time lover who ,owns a postal center where she has a lot of photo work done, took me over there to pick up some photos, and we went in the back and pretty soon they started kissing. She made me get on my knees, and pull down his pants and give him a blow job to get him hard. after that he made love to her as i watched. An other time she took me to visit a couple of her gay friends and she made me suck their cocks. I joined a place here called the WATERGARDEN and it is a really nice, clean gay bath house. I love the steam room, big hot tub and the movie room. Often I can get a nice BJ here and sometimes give one. A couple of months go by and I want a cock.

My sexual attraction is strongly linked to my D/s dynamic. I found my niche a few years back submitting to men and, while I'm still attracted to women in some ways, I only ever actively seek out dominant men.

I am more attracted to females, but every couple of weeks i can crave male/male play. i dont act on it alot but it shows up more in the porn i watch or fantasies i have. I also found that during long dry spells with woman this get more intense, and i have acted on it then.

I was Bi very early (8/boys, 9/girls) though I did not know the term, and had the most amazing MFM sex ever in college with two different girl friends. Bi is probably a spectrum, but when my libido was really high, I could enjoy both equally. Now that I don't have a constant erection (though I am aways horned) I am much more gay. Of course, some of it is the accessibility of gay sex vs straight sex. Three weeks ago I had MFM sex with a Bi fist buddy and his GF. It lasted an encredibel 4 hours with me fisting him deep and long and she was holding him, comforting thing while I pushed in deep, sometime he would nurse on he beautiful nipples and she wold softly stroke his hair and rock him. SOOo sweet. She le the play with her pussy and clit and he nipples. It was sooo hot. All sorts out there. Again, a lot depends of availability. Mostly open to both!

I'm always interested in both males and females, but sometimes I do find myself fantasizing about one gender more than the other.

It depends on how things go. A lot depends on opportunity. And also longevity with which action has been no existent.

So like if I haven't had a blow job in a long time, I'd want a guy who'd suck me for a long time. I'd jack off earlier in the day so I would last longer. I pick a guy because i feel a guy can last longer sucking. Any ladies want to step up and take the Pepsi challenge on that one, I welcome you, and my cut 6+" cock welcomes you.

i always welcome tits and friendly women possessing tits welcoming me to a feel, and possibly beyond.

I welcome flirty friendly women, who aren't afraid to show some attraction to me. And if they ain't around, but guys are who have complimented me or expressed desires to be with me, then i tend to lean that way. Which seems to be the case in recent years.

My preference: women, with very little whining, wining & dining, & no risk of pregnancy. After that, men are easier for mutual needs gratification and moving on.

So that's my ebb and flow. But there's ebb and flow to my ebb and flow. i could tell you a different story each month.

Some years ago, I was hospitalized after an accident. It was a long ordeal, but fortunately I developed a special rapport with one of the nurses. I fantasized a lot about her and always looked forward to seeing her, and she, in turn seemed to give me added attention. Additionally, my personal doc was in and out each week, and she is hotter than hell. Up to that point, I had never had a physical relationship with a woman, but all through my childhood, adolescence, younger womanhood I had a girl crush on some older girl at school or work. Always. I would fantasize though that I was a male and being with these women. My nurse changed all that. Her level of caring on days/nights that were particularly rough was incredible. Holding me through my pain and softly kissing my forehead as the meds kicked, placing her hand on my belly and reminding me to breath, and whispering "love you" as I drifted off to sleep. I was flat out, crazy in love with this woman. And as I got stronger the erotic dreams started. In the meantime, that girl crush thing popped up each time I saw the hot doc. So, why not bring them together in my fantasy? I suffered from a series of bladder/uti problems (not fantasy), I would close my eyes and see myself on the bed in just a gown, naked from the waste down. They would come into my room together, with Nurse Adore carrying a small tray of items. Hot Doc would tell me Nurse was going to catheterize me, and she, Doc, was going to do two pelvic exams, one before my bladder was emptied and one after. Nurse started to prepare her foley catheter, and Doc removed the covers from the lower part of my body, pulled my gown up, raised my knees and told me to relax my legs open. I did as told. N has her back to me but I can't take my eyes off of her. Doc returns to my bedside as she is pulling on gloves, uses a lube on the two fingers of her right hand, opens my labia with two fingers of her left hand, and slides the lubed two into my vagina. I know she is focusing on my full bladder, but it all feels fantastic. She pulls out and N is ready to start my foley catheter. Now, anyone who has ever watched a video of that knows it is a putzy process, but it does involve a lot of time of openess, fingers, touching, wiping. Ooohh. I just love watching her face and eyes and I am conscious that I could cum here and, for once, I really don't want to. Anyway, Doc is ready for my second pelvic. Still feels great. I am very relaxed and happy as these two ladies of mercy assure me that they will return, hopefully with an swer to my pee issues. I smile at N as she leaves the room and drift off in sweet dreams.

If you are truly bisexual- have had sex with both sexes, not just fantasied about it, then I think the ebb and flow is situationally based. If there is an opportunity to have sex with one sex or the other, then you gravitate towards that person. Some bisexuals have access to both sexes at the same time and I would imagine they have sex freely with both sexes.

Would a bisexual pass up an opportunity to have sex with someone simply because they are not feeling it for that particular sex- I would say maybe but probably not.

Human behavior is complicated and yes a swing in desire for having sex with one particular sex can happen. But I think the underlying driver of those preferences are coming from life situations and the opportunities to have sex with either sex when you find somebody willing and attractive to you.

Guess ebb and flow is not good terminology. Experiencing sex with both genders is so freeing. I love foreplay with both, especially oral. And fantasizing both ways is very satisfying too. But, for me, the determining factor for picking a life partner is much more emotional. And maybe it's also because I feel more involved and there is so much more I want to give when I make love to a woman. I am glad I am not afraid to be with either a man or a woman.

I don't really know if I am bi.

I am a very sexual person and enjoy sex with men and women but I think to one day settle down and maybe marry it would be with a man.

I've had great sex with woman but serious relationships have been male so far.

I've meet girls on night out and gone home with them and had great time and stayed in contact sometimes but I've not thought much long term.

I don't really know if I am bi.

The way I see it, if you have had multiple sex partners with both sexes then you are bi sexual. Falling in love and making a commitment to one partner does not mean you are totally heterosexual or homosexual- I think it means you are in a situation that places you in a monogamous relationship with one sex partner. I think you are still bi sexual and can still be attracted to both sexes regardless if you are in a committed relationship with either sex. Getting into a committed relationship does not erase your bi sexuality- it's always there.

Mine does move around. There are psychological diagnosis for this behavior, I get hyper-sexual, less picking and just like getting fucked.

My short answer: yes! But I don't know if I'm really bi, despite what it says on my Wall here. Haven't been very active sexually lately, but am closer than ever, in terms of affection, to my friend Ingrid. Yet I also still cultivate my enjoyable fantasies about how, at a much younger age, I am being examined by a doctor. (Part of me is indeed fixated at that age, and I associate it with my gay side.) On the other hand, my main proof that I have a hetero side too is the physical enjoyment I remember from whenever I have penetrated a woman. Maybe, though, that is merely an automatic, 'mechanical' thing (I tell myself), and means little! Against that, whenever I am getting emotionally close to a nice woman, I begin to think - and, importantly, feel - that there's an opportunity here for sex. Do you detect some confusion?! 😕

- Ken

Yes! watching adult movies with one sex gets me hot for that sex. if it is m/f or mmf I identify with both sexes and usually want to be one more than the other at that moment, depending on the action.

in real life, an attractive male or female makes me desirous of them but most of my daydreams are of women and just sometimes men. Maybe that's early conditioning.

Yes, so much so does it ebb and flow that I list myself as heteroflexible instead of bi.

I have to say I think I'm basically bisexual and have been since around 5 years of age. I was attracted to both sexes equally at that young age and while never able to act on my feelings, they stayed pretty constant throughout life and each day.

If an opportunity exists to enjoy sex, I don't want to limit myself, especially with kinksters into my fetishes.

I kind of think I know what you mean but I’m not sure if ebb and flow is the right way to describe it. I identify as bisexual yes but I haven’t acted on it in years, not because I’m no longer attracted to women but because I’m in a monogamous relationship with a man. At this point in my life gender isn’t a deciding factor in who I find attractive. I do find men attractive more often than women but there are plenty of women out there I find attractive. I’m not likely to act on any of them - men or women - through my choice to maintain a monogamous relationship with my husband