How do you know you couldn't do that?

My sub/husband loved enemas when we met. He didn't just throw them at me, but introduced them at a time that didn't chase me away. He did keep them hidden for a number of months fearing I would reject him and his weirdness.

His other kinks and desires didn't come up/out until years later after we'd been married a good while. I can't say whether they would have scared me off or not. With hind sight it would have given us an even better sex life if he had. But would I have stepped up sooner, as I did l when he confessed his needs to me . . . I don't know. When your marriage is at rock bottom you only have two ways to go up or apart. I chose up for us which meant stepping up as his Miss.

To discuss kinks while dating in small town Iowa can get some negative rumors going about you. That won't help your dating unless another kinkster hears them. It's good to discuss things while dating, but for some it isn't always a topic that comes up. It's scary to think of what can be spread and how fast it can be spread with social media. Information, once put on the internet, does not go away. It's there forever if one only digs for it.

Becareful what gets put out there that is attached to you. It could come back to haunt you. Or make you pay dearly if things go south.

@easy123 said

@DrZ, in many ways I wish I had been born in the current age because of the sexual freedoms that are available now. I married just before the so-called sexual revolution (as it is called in the United States), started. Talking about sex and related subjects just was not done. The minister gave us a how to do it book.

.....

I know there were those who did not have these problems. I am just speaking about the environment in which I was raised and the behavior I was supposed to exhibit.

Unfortunately there were societal and religious pressures to conform to a standard specification, a one-size-fits-all approach. It's more concerned with outward appearances (even within a marriage) than fulfilling the actual potential of the individuals. The result wasn't greater happiness, but did waste many lives, often without them being fully aware of it.

Such attitudes can still be found if you know where to look.

There's a lot to be said for direct communication and one thing I've found out is to try hard to avoid reading things into a discussion when a direct approach is far better. I've made that mistake a few times in my life and found out that one can become very embarrassed by playing head games with themselves. Don't assume. The very definition of the word "assume" is that it can make an ASS out of U and ME

@Warm_and_Soapy You hit the nail on the head.

HUGS, Megan