Last Tuesday I developed a stomachache and decided to withhold the fact from my mother. Her solution for a stomachache was always the same…a dose of castor oil to clear up the problem. Hopefully the problem would clear itself up and she would be none the wiser. By Thursday, I still had my stomachache. Mother had gone out of town with the choir to some sort of competition and she would not be returning until Friday. My stomach was getting worse instead of better. I called our next door neighbor (a friend of my mother) for some advice. She suggested that I try to get an appointment with the doctor as soon as possible to get it checked out. Friday was the Fourth of July and doctors didn't have office hours on holidays or weekends.

I called my pediatrician's office and the receptionist told me that my doctor, Dr. Andrews was on vacation for the week but that her partner, Dr. McLaughlin would be able to see me at 4:30. I would be his last appointment for the day. His last appointment? A male doctor? I had never seen one before; or better said, one had never seen me before. My stomachache was bothering me so I decided to take the appointment. My mother's friend said she would drop me off if I could catch the bus home.

I arrived at the doctor's office by 4:20. I walked in, exchanged pleasantries with the receptionist. Her name was Peggy. She had been with Dr. Andrews since the practice opened. There were no other patients waiting, so I took the opportunity to seek out some information about Dr. McLaughlin from the receptionist.

"Peggy, this may sound silly, but I've never seen any doctor other than Dr. Andrews before."

"Are we a little nervous?" Peggy asked.

"Well...Yeah, I guess so."

"Does the fact that you're seeing a male doctor have anything to do with your uneasiness?"

"Uh…."

"It's also the first time I can recall that your mother didn't come with you for an appointment. Dr. McLaughlin's nurse can be with you in the exam room if it will make you feel more comfortable; and rest assured also, Kelly, that Dr. McLaughlin is a very sensitive, caring, and gentle man. He will do everything possible to put you at ease. I think you'll like him."

"Well, I am a bit nervous about seeing a male doctor. But, as far as not having my mother here… Uh…to be honest about it, I wish she had stopped coming with me years ago. It makes me feel so infantile. So, no, I'm glad she's not here."

"Kelly, Dr. McLaughlin is a very good listener, and he's sensitive to the concerns of young ladies such as yourself. You can talk to him about anything that's on your mind."

"Thanks," I replied, "You've been a big help. I'm feeling better about him already."

I took a seat…thumbed through a few magazines and waited about 10 minutes or so.

"Kelly?"

I looked up and saw a nurse standing in the doorway, inviting me back into the office and exam area. She looked to be in her late-fifties; or maybe even sixty years old. She kept her hair in a bun with her nurse's cap pinned down toward the front of her head. "Mom has a twin" was my first thought. "I hope it's just appearance and not attitudes as well."

"Hi, Kelly. I'm Dr. McLaughlin's nurse. My name is Shirley. Let's get you into exam room 4. But before we do, how about hopping up on the scale so we can check out your height and weight. OK…That's 5 feet, 4 inches and…oh, it looks like 112 pounds. Exam room 4 is down the hall on the left."

She opened the door to exam room 4, let me enter and then followed in behind me and closed the door.

"Kelly Harrison… By any chance are you related to Martha Harrison?"

"Yes, I'm her daughter. Do you know my mother?"

"Yes, I do. I'm a member of the church choir with your mother. Dr. McLaughlin couldn't get a replacement for me so I couldn't go to the choir competition. Was your mother able to go?"

"Yes. She left yesterday" was my reply.

"Your mother is a fine woman, Kelly. Say ‘hello' for me when she returns."

"Having her around during my exam is probably going to be like having mom here" was my first thought. "And she'll probably tell mom everything I say."

"OK, Kelly, let's get down to business…What brings you to see Dr. McLaughlin today?"

"I've had a stomachache for a few days now. It doesn't seem to be getting any better and I wanted to get it checked out before the holiday weekend."

She made some notes on my chart and continued questioning me.

"When was your last period? Are they regular?"

"It ended about ten or twelve days ago. I'm on a fairly regular twenty-eight day cycle."

"Your records don't indicate that we've ever done a Pap Smear. Do you see a G-Y-N?"

"No, I've never had one that I know of. And no, my mother has always brought me here for all my medical problems."

"You're at that age where it becomes important that you have one. The doctor will probably suggest it. And your last bowel movement…When did you have it?"

"Um…Sunday morning."

"It's been a while then, hasn't it?"

"Yes." I replied. "I normally go every one or two days."

"OK, then let's see…Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and today is Thursday…So today is the 5th day then. You're probably pretty uncomfortable."

"Yeah I am. But I was hoping that it would pass. The bloating and discomfort is a lot more tolerable than the nasty pains I get from Mom's cure."

"And what's that?"

"Castor oil."

"Say no more. I understand completely. But it's not really good to stay blocked up for too long either. A good cleanout would probably have done you some good, young lady. I have three children of my own and I give them castor oil when they're backed up. My mother gave it to me and her mother gave it to her. It's been a cure for generations."

"Well," I thought. "Similarities seem to go beyond appearance. Looks like she read the same childcare books as mom."

"I'm sure the doctor will want to do a complete exam to rule out other possibilities but if constipation isn't the cause of your stomachache, I've got to believe it's adding to your discomfort. Let's check your vitals while we wait for Dr. McLaughlin."

"OK"

"Ah, I see you're wearing long sleeves today. BP is always more accurate on the bare arm. Why don't we have you get into your gown now…and then we'll get your vitals?

Let's get everything off except your panties and socks."

She reached into the cabinet, pulled out a gown and held it out for me to take. I hesitated.

"Is there anything wrong, dear? Are we a bit shy, young lady?" she asked in a rather demeaning tone. "Don't worry, I'm sure you don't have anything that Dr. McLaughlin hasn't seen before. And I can stay with you during the exam if it will make you more comfortable."

"Decisions, decisions," I thought. "Have ‘mom reincarnated' with me during the exam and stay a child the rest of my life…Or, move toward womanhood by getting over my fears of seeing a male doctor. If he's as nice as Peggy said, I might be able to use mom's absence as an opportunity to ask him some question

"Well? What will it be?" she asked.

"I think I'll be alright by myself; but thanks for the offer."

"OK. Let's get the gown on and I'll be back in to check your vitals."

Nurse Shirley left the exam room. I slowly began undressing. I took off my top and then my bra. I quickly picked up the gown and put it on to cover my upper nakedness. I had never before removed my bra, or for that matter, even my shirt for a man to see. I knew from showering after gym class that I was not as well endowed as most of my classmates. Would Dr. McLaughlin be laughing deep down inside that I've never gotten past a 32A bra? Would he want to do a pelvic exam? If he did one, would it hurt? What was involved in getting one of those PAP smears that Nurse Shirley mentioned? My brain was being bombarded with questions and I was getting more nervous by the minute!

"Get hold of yourself!" an inner voice told me. "Be proud of yourself for having made the decision you did…And stop worrying…Everything will be just fine."

I removed my shoes and slacks and tied the examination gown on the side. When I sat up on the examination table, the gown opened slightly in the rear. The coolness of the paper covered exam table sent a chill up my spine and gave me goose bumps. I stood up to readjust the gown and Nurse Shirley returned.

"OK, Kelly let's get those vital signs. First, your blood pressure and pulse rate." She slipped on the cuff, placed her stethoscope at my elbow and began squeezing. "OK, 155 over 90 and pulse rate of 80. A little high... but you're probably a bit nervous. Dr. McLaughlin may check it again later."

"Alright now. Let's check your temperature. Will you please lie on your stomach while I get the thermometer?"

"Lay on my stomach?" I asked. " Dr. Andrews' nurse has always taken my temperature with an electronic oral thermometer since I was six or seven."

"Accuracy, my dear…accuracy. If I know your mother, she doesn't take your temperature orally…Does she?"

"She really does know mother!" I thought. Rather than argue, I just did as I was told. I lay on my stomach and awaited the humiliation of a rectal temp. I peeked out of the corner of my eye to see Nurse Shirley approaching me with the stubby rectal thermometer held high like the Olympic torch. It glistened with a dab of lubricating jelly at its tip. She pushed the rear gown opening aside, asked me to raise my hips and lower my panties. I did as she asked and just grated my teeth as she inserted the thermometer into my anal opening.

She peeked at her wristwatch, noting the time and said, "Lie still dear, this needs to stay in place for at least 3 minutes." She laid her hand across by backside with the thermometer being held firmly in place between her middle and ring fingers. The 3 minutes seemed like an eternity; but finally, I felt her remove her hand from across the cheeks of my butt and then I felt the thermometer being pulled from its anal mooring. She wiped it with a tissue, checked its reading and announced that my temp was slightly elevated at 100.8. She noted it on my chart, shook the thermometer down, and returned it to the glass container on the metal equipment stand.

"Dr. McLaughlin should be in momentarily. He's just finishing up with another patient."

I was once again besieged with a case of "nerves." "Calm down," my little ‘inner voice' told me. "Peggy said that he was understanding and caring. You've always respected her opinions and advice." Just then, right in the middle of the conversation I was having with myself, the exam room door opened.

There stood a man in his early-thirties…or maybe only late-twenties…Probably about 6 feet tall…broad shouldered and slim at the waist. "Hi! I'm Dr. McLaughlin; and you must be Kelly Harrison."

I never expected anyone that young. All doctors were supposed to be old. Beads of perspiration had formed across my forehead; but I managed to acknowledge his presence with an almost inaudible "Hi."

He took a few moments to glance at the notations made by Nurse Shirley on my chart. He then asked me to explain, in my own words, the reason for my visit.

"Well doctor, I've had a stomachache since Tuesday and it didn't seem to be getting any better, so I thought I'd have it checked out before the holiday weekend got here."

"I see. My nurse indicates that you had your last menstrual period 10 – 12 days ago and that you had your last bowel movement on Sunday morning. Is that correct?"

"Uh, yes it is Doctor McLaughlin."

"Did you experience any abnormal pains with your last period?"

"No. Everything went about the same as usual. I suffer from mild PMS and have some cramping…But nothing unusual."

"The lack of a bowel movement concerns me a bit. Are you constipated frequently?"

I hesitated a moment and began thinking to myself. "What's going on here? I've never seen this man before and I'm sitting here with nothing on but a stupid exam gown, and I'm talking to him very nonchalantly about periods and bowel movements! This is a man that I'm talking to!" Then another train of thought followed. My ‘inner voice' was trying to take charge again. "This is the opportunity that you've been waiting for…A chance to talk to a doctor without your mother running the show. Don't fight it. Go with the flow. He's done something to make you feel at ease! And, after all, he is a doctor."

"Kelly?"

"Oh…Excuse me, doctor. My thoughts were drifting. I do suffer from occasional constipation. It's been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I try to ignore it in hopes that it will clear up by itself."

"And when it doesn't go away…How do you take care of it?"

"My mom gives me castor oil. I hate the stuff! It tastes bad and it tears me up when it does its ‘thing'! That's why I always wait to see if it will pass. I hate castor oil! But my mother won't consider anything else. She's so old-fashioned. She won't let me grow up and make my own decisions! If she weren't out of town today, she would be here with me right now. I'm tired of being treated like a child!"

"Kelly, I can assure you that I will treat you like an adult. It sounds as though your mom just doesn't want to cut the apron strings. She'll probably always see you as her ‘little baby' girl. Sometimes it's just hard for some parents to ‘let go."

"I know, doctor; but it's hard on me too. I've led such a sheltered life. Here I am a senior in high school and I can count the number of dates I've had on one hand. And when it comes to sex, it's a taboo subject. I don't even know my own body, let alone anything about boys…other than what I've heard or read."

"I'm glad you confided in me, Kelly. I'll see if we can't take some time to make you feel more comfortable with your sexuality a bit later. Let's get back to the problem at hand. I'd like to give you a thorough exam to see what might be causing that stomachache. Would you feel more comfortable if I brought my nurse back in during the exam?"

"Doctor, no disrespect intended; but, your nurse reminds me so much of my mother, that I'd rather not. Is Dr. Andrews' nurse in today? I've known her since childhood and I know I'd feel comfortable with her."

"Sorry on both counts. Dr. Andrews' nurse takes off the same days as Dr. Andrews and as you know, Dr. Andrews is on vacation this week. And, Shirley, my nurse…She means well, but she is a bit old-fashioned and set in her ways. She'll be retiring later this year. I'll bet she insisted on taking your temperature rectally. Didn't she?"

"Yes she did, Doctor."

"I'm sorry about that. It is the most accurate way of taking a temp, so I do prefer it that way; but at your age, I see no problem in forgoing a bit of accuracy to preserve your dignity. It's called respect."

"Thank you, doctor. I appreciate that. You really do have a way of making patients feel comfortable. If it's OK with you, I think I'll pass on a nurse being present for the exam."

That's fine with me. Let's get started. I'll promise to try to explain everything as I go along if you'll promise to ask questions about anything that you don't understand. Do we have a deal?"

I nodded my head in the affirmative.

He checked my ears, nose and "ahhhhh"…my throat. I crossed my knees for him to check my reflexes with his little rubber hammer. He listened to my heart through the exam gown. Each time he moved the stethoscope around my chest I felt him come very close to my breasts but he never really touched them. He moved to the back and I gave him the deep breaths that he requested.

"OK, Kelly…Ears, nose and throat are fine. Heart and lungs sound good. Let's get you to lie back on the table so that I can examine your abdomen." He placed a modesty towel across me. It covered the area from my pubic region down to my knees. Then he gently pulled the gown up to expose my abdomen. He listened with the stethoscope, and then began to palpate my abdomen.

"Let me know if you feel any pain or discomfort when I press."

"It's a little uncomfortable when you press there," I said, as he pressed down on the lower left side."

"I'm not surprised," said the doctor. "I want to confirm my preliminary diagnosis; and to do so, I'm going to ask you to roll over on your left side for me."

I did as he asked without hesitation. My back was to him. He walked over to the equipment stand; picked up a couple of things and returned.

"Kelly, I have to do a rectal exam to check to see if you are impacted. I'm going to be putting on a latex glove. I'll lubricate one of my fingers really well so that the exam will not be uncomfortable for you. Once my finger is in your rectum, I'll be feeling around a bit. Do you have any questions?"

I felt my blood pressure rise a bit. Talking about my body with him was one thing but having him examine me in my most private parts was a whole other story! This has got to be embarrassing! Then that little voice inside told me to be adult about the whole thing and to get on with it.

"No questions" was my response.

I couldn't see a thing but heard the ‘snap' as he donned the latex glove. There was a slight pause. I was sure he was squeezing lubricating jelly on his finger. Then I felt the modesty towel being lifted from the rear. He was now able to see my backside! The goose bumps returned. Then I heard him say, "OK, Kelly I'm going to lift your right cheek up a bit to expose you anus. You'll feel me rub some lubrication on the outside. It might be a bit cool at first. Then, when I'm ready to insert my finger, I want you to bear down a little to relax your anal sphincter muscle. I promise that it won't hurt. Ready?"

"Yes" was the only word I could get out of my mouth.

"Can I get you to draw your right knee up toward your chest just a bit? Great, Kelly that's much better. Here we go."

I felt him go through the sequence he had just described. He lifted my right cheek with his left hand and then…very gently…he began rubbing the lubrication on the outside of my butt hole. Then I heard him say, "Bear down."

He gently slipped his gloved finger into my backside. I felt a tingling sensation as his finger slid all the way in. A moment later, I felt his inquisitive digit moving around inside of me. I felt it probe one side of my insides, then he would rotate his hand somewhat and feel around again. He repeated this process 3 or 4 times. I don't think he missed one square inch of me.

"Your rectum isn't impacted, Kelly. But I need you to bear down once more as if you were having a bowel movement. When you do, I'll be pushing my finger in as far as possible to see if there's stool just beyond my finger. OK, bear down."

I pressed down and heard him say "Great, Kelly…You're doing just fine." There was a slight pause and then I heard, "Just as I expected."

"Relax now Kelly. I'm removing my finger." Slowly, he pulled out of me and I suddenly realized that it actually enjoyed having his finger inside of me. It actually felt good! How weird! My thoughts then shifted to a fear that somehow he knew that I had enjoyed that part of the examination. "Oh God, I hope he doesn't know. He'll think I'm a weirdo!"

"Kelly, you are quite backed up. I could feel the hard, dry stool when I did the last part of the exam. I'll check you over further to be sure that there's nothing else causing the stomachache but you will need to do something about the constipation. It might comfort you to know," he said with a grin, "that I'm not prescribing castor oil. I'm aware of the severe cramping that it causes and besides, after five days of waiting, I'm sure you'll be glad to get some immediate relief."

I returned the grin and nodded agreement.

"When you get home Kelly, I want you to take a warm soapy enema to take care of that constipation, I'm sure you'll feel a lot better when you're done."

"Uh…Dr. McLaughlin…"

"Yes?"

"Doctor, I don't know how to say this but…uh…I've never had an enema before. I wouldn't know how to do it; and we probably don't have the necessary equipment at home anyway."

"Alright, Kelly…We'll continue the exam for now and then we'll figure out a solution to the constipation situation. I noticed on your chart that you've never been to a G-Y-N and it doesn't appear that Dr. Andrews has ever done a breast or pelvic exam on you. Is that right, Kelly?"

"That's right, Doctor. My mother has this weird idea that if I start getting ‘sex related' exams that I'll think that it's OK to start ‘messing around' with boys. Doctor, I'm ashamed to say it but there are probably a lot of 14-year-old girls that know a lot more about sex and their bodies than I do…and I'm 18!"

"Kelly, for me to rule out any other problems as the cause of your abdominal pain, I need to do a pelvic exam. Is that alright with you?"

"Will it hurt doctor?"

"That depends on a few things, Kelly. I'm guessing from our conversation so far, that you're not sexually active…At least with the opposite sex. If you've used tampons or have masturbated vaginally, your hymen has probably perforated already and we can do a complete exam. That will allow me to check out your ovaries and other organs by placing a finger or two in your vagina while I palpate your abdomen. If your hymen is still intact, I'll have to feel your ovaries by palpating your abdomen while I have a finger in your rectum. If you do have any ovary problems, whether I do it vaginally or rectally, you may feel some discomfort. Regardless, of the circumstances, Kelly…I promise I'll be as gentle as possible and I'll answer any questions that you may have."

"Thank you, doctor. You were certainly right about sex with boys…It's never happened. I finally convinced my mother to let me use tampons instead of pads when I started taking swimming in gym class in my sophomore year of high school. I never thought that I'd admit it to anyone but… uh…I have played with myself by moving my finger in and out of myself…but…uh…I never found it that satisfying. I'm afraid there's something wrong with me."

"No, Kelly…There's nothing wrong with you. You are a normal 18-year-old young lady. You have normal sexual needs and desires and you try to fulfill them anyway you can. There may be several reasons for you not finding it very satisfying. We can have a little talk later but in the meantime, let's finish checking you out. OK?"

"OK"

"Now first, I need you to scoot your bottom down closer to the end of the table. That's it. Now, I'm going to attach these metal legs and foot rests to the end of the table. They're called ‘stirrups.' I'll need you to raise your legs so that your feet rest in the foot rests. That's it. I'll leave the towel draped across your thighs to allow you as much modesty as possible."

He grabbed his little round stool on wheels and positioned it at the foot of the table. He rolled the equipment tray over beside the stool. He opened a drawer on the side of the exam table and took out a clear plastic object and set it on the tray. He retrieved what looked like a long "Q-Tip" from another cabinet. He already had a box of gloves and the tube of K-Y on the tray. Nervousness began to set in again.

He snapped on another pair of latex gloves, but before proceeding with the exam, he explained what was going to happen. "First," he said, I'll examine your external genitals and your urethra. I'll examine your labia majora and minora. That's fancy talk for your outer and inner lips. I'll check your clitoris for size, shape and responsiveness. I'll check to see if your hymen is intact and that will determine how the rest of the exam will be conducted. If your hymen has been perforated we'll begin the internal exam. First, I'll insert a finger, or maybe even two. I'll feel around for any abnormalities. I'll examine your ovaries and other internal organs as we discussed before. Then, I'll remove my finger and insert this speculum."

He held up the clear plastic thing that he had removed from the exam table drawer. It looked like a duckbill with a handle on it. He demonstrated how it would be used to expand my vagina to give him a good look around. He also explained that he would be removing a cell sample from my cervix for the PAP test with the long "Q-Tip."

"Do you have any questions, before we get started?" he asked.

"You used a term that I've heard before but…uh…never really understood. It may be a stupid question for an 18-year-old to be asking but…uh…I really do feel comfortable with you. Uh…you talked about checking my clitoris. What is that?"

"Your clitoris is the equivalent of a penis on a man. It is very sensitive to the touch and like a man's penis; it becomes engorged with blood and enlarges when stimulated. Before… when you indicated that you had played with yourself vaginally but didn't find it very satisfying, I suspected that you had not yet discovered your clitoris. I think you'll find that paying attention to both the clitoris and vagina during masturbation sessions will add immensely to your pleasure and gratification. Any other questions?"

Upon getting no response from me, he lowered his head slightly and it disappeared from my view. I saw his hand come up from behind the modesty drape just long enough to turn on a high intensity lamp that sat on the floor to his right. He adjusted the light beam to his satisfaction and he was again totally out of sight.

He was now looking at places no man had ever seen. I could almost feel his eyes exploring my virgin territory. Strangely enough though, my nervousness was now being replaced by the anticipation of his touch and of the exam itself. Down deep, I was hoping that it would be as enjoyable as his previous digital intrusion into my backside!

"I'm now going to be examining your external genitalia. Everything looks fine so far. I'm going to spread your outer lips so that I can see the rest of your external genitals."

A tingling sensation rushed from the tip of my toes to the top of my head at the first hint of his touch! I could feel his fingers spreading my lips apart. Suddenly his fingers were in contact with my pink, inner lips. I thought I was beginning to sense wetness in response to his touch. His right finger slowly moved upward between my inner lips until it reached a spot that gave me a feeling that I can only describe as ‘an electric shock of ecstasy'! Involuntarily, I pulled my body back from his exploring finger.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked.

I had all I could do to answer him. "No…not at all…uh…quite the contrary. I, uh… was that my…uh…"

"Yes, Kelly that's your clitoris. Your initial response seemed normal. I'll be checking for continued response. Are you ready?"

I think he knew that he had asked a rhetorical question. I was preparing to give him a response when I felt his finger again making contact with that previously undiscovered treasure chest of pleasure. He rubbed the spot as if he were trying to bring a genie from a lamp. My only wish for that imaginary genie was simple…Don't stop!!! I found myself arching my back. Guttural moans were escaping from under my now heavy breathing. There was no doubt in my mind now that I was getting very wet!

"That's great, Kelly. Your clitoris is very responsive to the touch. I'm guessing from your reaction that you found it quite enjoyable. You will also notice that you are becoming rather moist. That's another sign of pleasure. And in case you're feeling embarrassment about anything that's happening here…Don't. Your responses are all quite normal. It's your body providing you with pleasure. And Kelly, there's nothing wrong or abnormal about that."

"Uh…doctor?"

"Yes?"

"Since we're talking about ‘normal'…I…was wondering…uh…When you did the rectal exam before…I…uh…This is embarrassing…"

"Maybe I can help you out Kelly. Do you want to know if it's normal for you to derive pleasure from having an object, like my finger, in your backside? The answer is yes, Kelly. It's quite normal. Some people, both men and women, find great pleasure in anal stimulation. There are others who don't. Kelly, you are learning the location of your erogenous zones today. Do not be embarrassed. Was that what you were going to ask? And did I answer it?"

"You sure did. Thanks, doctor."

"You're welcome. That's what I'm here for. Let's get on with the exam, shall we?"

There was a slight pause. I gave him a smile of appreciation for being so understanding. He seemed to sense the meaning of my non-verbal response and in a very professional manner he continued with the exam.

"Your hymen is perforated so I'm going to insert my finger in your vagina now to begin the internal exam. The clitoral stimulation has probably lubricated your vaginal walls enough that I will not have to lubricate my finger. Are you ready?"

His gloved finger slipped right in. He began moving it around inside me. I felt him touching my vaginal walls. He withdrew his finger slightly and the slid it back in again.

Those feelings of pleasure were again sweeping over my entire body! I had all I could do to keep from reaching under the modesty drape so that I could massage my new found pleasure spot. My clitoris was begging for attention. What had I been missing all these years??? I was in another world! Then I felt his finger being withdrawn.

"I'm going to insert a second finger and then palpate your abdomen so that I can check out your ovaries." He stood up, inserted two fingers of his right hand. I winced a little with the insertion of the second digit, but within seconds, found that my body had adjusted to the second intruder.

"Are you alright, Kelly?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

He applied pressure to my lower abdomen. His hand was half on my abdomen and half on my pubic region. He gently probed around and asked me if I felt any pain. I didn't and responded in the negative.

"Your ovaries seem fine. The constipation could be causing the elevated temperature, but I doubt it." He removed his fingers from my vagina and lifted his left hand from my abdomen.

He readjusted the modesty drape and disappeared again from my view. This time he had taken the speculum down with him. He advised me that he was about to insert the speculum so that he could do his visual internal exam and the Pap smear. He told me to relax and to let him know if I felt any discomfort. I felt the strange object entering my vaginal cavity. Then he seemed to give it a slight twist. He readjusted the light again and muttered a few unintelligible words. I could hear the clicking of the speculum as it stretched my vaginal opening. There were a few moments of silence and then he announced that everything looked fine. He inserted the long swab, got his sample from my cervix, and withdrew it. Then he slowly and gently withdrew the speculum from me.

"All done" he announced. "Everything looked fine internally. The Pap smear results will be back from the lab in a few days. Someone will call you with the results. Did you provide the nurse with a urine specimen earlier?"

"No. I didn't."

"I noticed a bit of redness around the urethra before. You may have a slight urinary infection starting. That may be the reason for the slightly elevated temp. If you can, give me a sample before you leave so I can test it. An antibiotic prescription will nip it in the bud."

"One thing left to do and your exam will be complete. It's important that you start getting periodic breast exams. If you feel comfortable enough, I'll do one now. I want you to pay attention to how I do it, because I want you to do them on yourself each month as well. Are you up to it?"

"You've made me feel real comfortable today Dr. McLaughlin and I really appreciate it. But, I get very embarrassed when it comes to my breasts. I'm so much smaller than most of the other girls my age. I've even heard some boys snickering as I pass at school. I'm sure they're probably making fun of my underdeveloped bust line. I'm not sure I could bear to have you look at them."

"If you choose not to have a breast exam today, I'll respect that. I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable. But let me have one attempt at changing your mind about the exam. OK?"

"OK."

"First of all, it's very important. It could mean your life someday. Detecting lumps early is the most important factor in treating breast cancer. Even if you don't want me to do a breast exam today for whatever reason, I do want you to promise me that you will start getting them from whoever it is that you choose. Secondly, it's your body that we're talking about. Be proud of it! I'm not going to kid you…By 18 you're very close to fully developed. Your breasts will probably never be very much larger than they are right now. But let me tell you something, young lady. If those guys in school are making fun of your bust size, they're only showing their lack of maturity. Some women have large breasts and some women have tiny breasts. And then there's every size and shape in between. There are men in this world who like big breasts and some that like them small. You will find that some men find tiny breasts the sexiest thing about a woman. And I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm one of them. Enough said. No more soapbox speeches."

"Wow," I thought, "This guy really has a way with words." Within seconds of hearing him, I was beginning to view my breasts in a whole new light. And as if I were on ‘auto pilot,' I heard myself saying words that I never have expected to leave my lips…"Doctor, I'm ready for the breast exam."

"You won't be sorry, Kelly. You made the right decision. Let's examine them with you sitting up first. Let's get rid of these stirrups for you."

I lowered my legs. He removed the stirrups and I sat up on the exam table. He asked me to remove the gown from my shoulders. I hesitated for a few seconds but then complied with his wish. The gown dropped to my lap. Here I was exposing to this man that piece of my anatomy that had heretofore had been a major source of embarrassment for me. Then some of my old thinking started to creep back in. Suddenly I felt my face turning beet red! I kept my eyes closed. I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. Then I heard him say softly, "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Kelly. You have beautiful breasts."

With that, I opened my eyes and a few tears fell. I had never met anyone in my life that was more sensitive and caring than was Dr. McLaughlin.

He began the exam by pressing on my left breast with three fingertips. He started at twelve o' clock and went around in a clockwise direction until the returned to the starting point. He then took my nipple between his index finger and thumb and gave it a gentle, almost loving squeeze. Again those feelings of pleasure were beginning to well up within every part of my body. I closed my eyes and a wave of ecstasy enveloped me. I felt my small nipples enlarging at his touch. Seconds later, he removed his hands from my breast. I opened my eyes just in time to see what appeared to be a grin slowly disappearing from his face.

"I think we may have found another one of your erogenous zones, Kelly."

With a sheepish sort of grin I replied, "I think you're right, Doctor. I think you've awakened feelings in my body that I never knew existed before."

"My job is not just to treat, but also to educate and it looks like you've learned alot today."

"That's a real understatement, doctor. I don't know what else to say."

"You don't have to say a word Kelly. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Let's continue the breast exam. Let nature and your feelings be in control, Kelly. It's OK to let yourself go. There's nothing wrong with it."

He repeated his left breast procedures on the right one. Again I found my eyes closing and all sense of self-consciousness left. I was enjoying his gentle touch. I wanted the clock to stand still. I wanted these feelings to last for eternity. I was in heaven!

"Kelly?…Kelly?"

"Oh, sorry, doctor. It was wonderful. I didn't even realize that you had stopped. I was in my own little world."

"Kelly, I want you to repeat the exam that I just did. My hand will be there to guide you. Pay particular attention to everything that you feel. Your breasts are perfectly normal. It's important that you recognize what ‘normal' is. That way you will be able to easily detect any changes. OK, let's give it a try."

He guided my hand over my left breast. After pressing over the entire surface of it, he guided my hand to its center. I felt the nubby surface of the areola and I then gently squeezed the nipple.

"Great, Kelly. Now you examine the right one without my assistance."

After I completed the examination of my right breast, he had me lie on the exam table with my arms over my head. He repeated the exam in this position on both breasts. This time I not only found myself enjoying his gentle touch, but I was beginning to fantasize. I imagined us in my bedroom. I could see by his powerful erection that he was enjoying it as much as I was. We were lovers! We were in a wild session of foreplay. Soon I would be his!

He finished the exam and I slowly and unwillingly returned to reality.

"Alright, young lady, your breast exam is perfectly normal. Over the next few days, I want you to practice examining yourself in both positions. You appear to be in great shape with the exception of that nasty constipation problem and the possible urinary infection. Do you have any questions of me?"

"Doctor, you've taught me more about my body today than I learned from any of the books I've ever read; and my mother has always avoided the subject. I'm sure that I'll have more questions once I begin to explore my new found sexuality. But for now, I just want to say ‘thank you.'

"You're welcome, Kelly, but I'm only doing my job. Why don't you hop down from the exam table, take this cup into the restroom with you and see if you can give me a urine sample. When you're done bring it back out and we'll talk about our options with this constipation problem."

He handed me a little cup. I went into the restroom, closed the door and pondered the challenge of peeing in a cup without getting it all over my hands. I did surprisingly well. I washed my hands and returned to the exam room. Doctor McLaughlin was waiting for me.

"Here, I'll take that," he said as he reached out and took the urine sample from me.