Men’s health? Super important. It’s why I made a checkup for myself. A… Urological checkup.

I’m super nervous.

Now, I’m alright with going to the doctor. I go for a regular physical every year. Make sure I go to get checked out if I’m sick. I’m not scared or anything. Gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

Having to go isn’t what’s making me nervous. It’s the urology part that makes me nervous.

From what I’ve heard, a well-man’s visit is a bit more… Invasive, for a lack of a better term. I know they use some tools to take a look inside… Ultrasound what’s between the legs. Things that they might not normally do at a normal checkup. I heard that… You’ve gotta poop the morning before. And if you don’t poop then, they’ll make you poop before the doctor comes in to see you. They have their ways...

Regardless, I’m trying not to panic over this. It isn’t like someone I don’t know is examining me. The doctor I’m seeing is Sable Maximov. I know Sable; love the sweet dear guy. And.. It’s really important to be checked out. If something’s not right, it’s hella imperative to get it looked at before it gets worse. And really… Erik Hayter told me it wasn’t that bad. And I’m pretty sure he was roped into a rigid sigmoidoscopy during his visit, so… It really can’t be that bad, I guess.

Just gotta go with it. Everything will turn out fine.

The morning of my doctor’s appointment, I feel my wife, Hannah, very carefully shaking me awake. I was sleeping so peacefully that it sucks to be awake, but she did it so gently that I don’t mind.

“Morning, Jesse,” she greets me gently, brushing the hair out of my eyes.

I groan softly. “G’morning,” I respond.

She smiles, pinching my cheek softly. “You’re so cute when you’re waking up,” she says softly.

I smile as well, almost wanting to just roll back over and fall back to sleep.

Hannah softly laughs, turning my face back towards hers. “Don’t go back to sleep, sweetie!” she tells me. “Don’t you have a doctor’s appointment?”

I moan, trying to conceal a smirk, but I can’t. “Mrgh... I don’t wanna go to the doctor,” I mutter sleepily.

My wife frowns cutely, though, I know she’s just teasing me. “I know, baby,” she coos sympathetically. “But we gotta make sure my baby’s healthy, don’t we?” Smiling, she pushes the covers off of me. “Here, Jesse. Take a nice shower; it’ll help you wake up, honey. Keep you nice and fresh for Sable.”

Hmm... I could go for a good pre-examination shower. My mouth is all morning breath, too... Gotta brush my teeth.

“Alright. I’m up,” I tell her, rolling out of bed. I grab myself some clean clothes, something comfortable and easy to get in and out of. Fresh underwear and socks, too, of course. Then I grab a towel to dry off with, and I begin to head to the bathroom.

Before I’m out the door, Hannah clears her throat to catch my attention. “Jesse,” she tells me.

I look over my shoulder.

"I left you another Dulcolax on the bathroom counter. You should take it while you’re in the shower... Y’know, just to make sure you’re clean,” she says quietly, even though it’s just us here right now.

I think for a minute. Decide she’s probably right. I took one of the suppository laxatives we bought late last night after dinner. And it did its job. I had a bowel movement soon after it melted inside of me. Considering I haven’t eaten since, I’m probably fine. Though, it’s good to make completely sure. I’ll just take one more so if I still do have to poop, I’ll be able to expel it by the time I get to the hospital.

So I nod once in response, then continue my journey to the bathroom.

As everyone does before showering, I take off my pajamas. Hang up my towel. Stand naked for a minute and stretch my muscles out. Crack all my joints. Snatch the Dulcolax packet from the counter and put it on the shelf in the shower; it’s gonna go in much easier once I’m wet.

Then I turn on the water and get in. Start wetting myself down, both hair and skin. Then I wash up. Start with shampooing my hair, then get down to my body. Rinse off. Then I unwrap that suppository. Hold onto the support bar with one hand and squat down. Very gently, I insert it through my anus and into my rectum. It doesn’t hurt, and since I’m nice and slicked up with water, there’s minimal discomfort.

Cool. Just gotta wait for it to melt inside of me.

After I dry off my body and wrap my hair in my towel, I brush my teeth. Take my hair down and give that a good brush. Then I get myself dressed.

Much better. Much more awake now.

With that, I grab my wallet and make sure it has my insurance card in it. Then I head back into the bedroom to find Hannah making the bed. I give her a kiss before I have to leave.

“Bye, Jesse, honey. Good luck at your appointment,” she says.

I grin nervously. “Thanks,” I say. “I’ll do my best.”

Breathing it out one more time, I leave Marblestone, and take a walk to the train station. Just a quick ride to the hospital.

~ ~ ~

The surroundings of the hospital don’t freak me out. When I walk into the urology office, I find myself a little nervous. Understandable, since I’ve never had this kind of exam before. But I just take a deep breath. Walk up to the front desk.

“Good morning, dear!” the young woman there greets me gently. “Are you checking in?”

I nod once, returning the smile. “I am.”

"Wonderful! And what’s your name?”

I nod once. Respond with a simple, “Jesse Mercer.”

“Of course. Just one second, dear,” she says. She types something vigorously for a moment, and then looks back up at me. “Can I have a date of birth, Mr. Mercer? Just to confirm that it’s you?”

I smile. “June 29th, 1982,” I tell her.

She giggles softly. “Yep. This is the right file,” she says. “You have an appointment with Dr. Sable Maximov at nine-thirty? Just a checkup, right?”

“Sounds right,” I say, breathing nervously again.

“Great. Well, I’ll take your insurance card, and then I’ll give you some paperwork to fill out. Just some stuff we might need to know, since it’s your first appointment with us.”

I let her scan my insurance card through. And once I’m officially checked in, she hands me a clipboard with some papers on it. “You can take a seat and fill those out, Mr. Mercer,” she tells me.

I do. I should sit. Unwind myself for a second. A nice, quiet spot where there aren’t many other people. And I just fill out the papers I was given. They’re simple. Just asking my medical history, and if I have any conditions and allergies. Any history of testicular or prostate cancer. Fill out some contacts as well. Then I just turn it into the front desk.

“Thank you, Mr. Mercer,” the receptionist says with a smile. “And you are aware that you have a blood test before your exam?”

I nod. “I was, yes.”

She nods. “Great! The nurse will bring you to the blood lab for your test, then she will take your vitals,” she says.

“Alrighty. Thanks, miss.” With that, I return to my seat.

For the next little while, I just sit in the waiting room and scroll through LockBox for a few. Just taking my mind off of things for a minute. Nothing to be nervous about, at least not yet. They’re just starting out with a blood test... I’ve had plenty of those to know what happens. And then... Vital-taking is easy, too. They’re not subjecting me to anything scary right at the start, which is good.

I get a good amount of time to get myself mentally ready, I think. Soon enough, a lovely female nurse I don’t think I’ve ever met comes in. “Jesse Mercer?” she announces to the room.

Briefly, I wave so she knows I’m here. Then I get up to join her, and she greets me with a very sweet smile.

"Hello, Mr. Mercer. How are you this morning, sweetie?” she asks politely as she begins to lead me through the halls.

Again, I smile nervously. “I’m doing alright,” I say. “You?”

She giggles softly. “I’m well, thank you,” she says. “My name is Libby, I’m one of the physician’s assistants. I’m going to be taking care of you before Dr. Maximov comes in to see you, including conducting your blood test.” She then looks at me. “Now, is it okay if I call you Jesse?”

I nod. “Jesse’s just fine,” I reassure her.

“Wonderful,” she says.

When we get to the blood lab, Libby holds the door open for me, and she motions to one of the chairs. “Have a seat, Jesse. Get nice and comfortable,” she says with that sweet grin.

I sit down in the chair... Dark teal cushions. Hm... It’s rather comfy, too. I can relax fine here, I think.

“You've had blood tests before, haven't you?” Libby asks gently.

I nod. “Plenty,” I answer.

She giggles again, patting my shoulder. “Good,” she says. “Just so you’re aware, we’re drawing a sample of blood to do a PSA test on. Now, this refers to your prostate-specific antigen, which is a protein that’s produced by your prostate if it is infected by cancer. We do one of these alongside a digital rectal prostate exam for the best accuracy. If Dr. Maximov doesn’t feel any lumps or hardness in your prostate, and your PSA blood test comes back negative, then we’ll know that you’re cancer free! Sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” I answer. That’s what we’re looking to prevent with this appointment, after all.

“Beautiful. You’ve been drinking enough water, right?” Libby asks.

“I believe so, yes,” I respond. “I always try to hydrate.”

She smiles. “Very good. This shouldn’t hurt at all, and we’ll be able to find a good vein,” she says. “Can you lie your arm over the rest here for me, Jesse? Keep it nice and relaxed for now.”

As she asked, I place my left arm on the rest, which sets it out to the side, and puts it in a place for Libby to easily work on me.

"That’s it. Just keep relaxing; you can keep that hand soft for now,” she says.

Sitting on the stool, she gets to work. Libby begins with tying a blue, rubber tourniquet around my bicep. “Fist your hand, Jesse,” she instructs.

I curl my hand into a fist. Since I’ve been drinking plenty of water, my veins easily pop up with the constriction.

“Very good, Jesse, you’re getting in plenty of water, I can see. I’ve got a lot to work with here,” Libby says.

She then uses a very soft pinkie finger to feel along my arm... Looking for the best possible vein to stick. It doesn’t take her long to find one, either, since they stick right out.

“Beautiful! Let’s get you cleaned up here and we’ll be good to start,” he says.

With that, she pulls on a pair of white, latex gloves. Then she uses an alcohol wipe to clean off a spot on the inside of my arm. She uses soft, circular motions that tickles a little bit... And the wipe is a little bit cool. But it’s nothing unbearable.

Then I have to look away. She takes out the needle she’ll be using, and attaches it to the syringe. With a sharp “pop!” she pulls the cap off, and it reveals the needle. Definitely better if I don’t look.

“Okay, Jesse. Just relax, sweetie,” Libby tells me. “You’re going to feel a sharp pinch in just a second here; take a nice deep breath...”

She doesn’t lie. Within the next few seconds, I feel a good pinch on the inside of my arm. It’s followed by a deep pressure as she sinks the needle into my vein. Ooh, it doesn’t feel too good. But I just keep my chin turned. Take a few slow deep breaths. No need to look at it; Libby’s keeping an eye on things so I don’t have to.

“Good! The needle is in, Mr. Mercer. I didn’t have to go looking at all,” she says softly. I then feel her touch my fisted hand. “You can relax this hand once again. Keep your fingers nice and limp.”

Very slowly so I don’t incite any more pain, I open my hand back up. Try to follow the nurse’s advice and keep my fingers nice and relaxed. Moving them around too much will pull at the muscle and cause pain. As I’m doing that, Libby unties the tourniquet from my arm, and with my vein no longer constricted, my blood begins to flow.

“Good. That’s it,” she tells me softly. “And we only need one vial of blood today, so bear with me while I pull up a little bit of your blood here...”

I hear the sound of a vial being clicked into the syringe. There isn’t any more pain than there was before as Libby begins drawing the sample of blood, and it’s over within a minute. Not so bad.

“That’s it! Good work, Jesse,” she praises me. “Let’s get this needle out of your arm, then we’ll patch you up.”

Very carefully, Libby places a gauze square on the inside of my elbow, and knowing that the vein will be compressed, she withdraws the needle from my vein. Doesn’t hurt a bit. Setting aside the needle for the moment, she then uses one of those big band-aids to close up the wound.

“Very good, Jesse. What a trooper,” Libby giggles softly. “Let me just clean up here, and then I’ll take you to the exam room.”

I stand by for a moment while Libby briefly cleans up. Tosses the needle into the sharps bin, and wipes down the chair I was sitting in. After placing my blood vial on the cart headed for the lab, she leads me out of the blood lab, and down a few halls to the urology office.

The room she brings me to is quite nice. It allows in sunlight from the window, which I think is what I really need to stay nice and relaxed. Nice, warm sunlight.

“Here we are, Jesse. Dr. Maximov will be taking care of you here,” Libby says. She then lowers her voice. “I’ll ask you this now that we’re in private; I didn’t want to make you self-conscious. But have you pooped recently?"

“Well, I did last night. I haven’t eaten since,” I explain. “I also took a suppository this morning before I came here just in case, but I haven’t had to go at all, so... I’m not sure if I have anything else inside of me.”

Libby nods. “Yep, sounds to me like you’re squeaky clean, Jesse,” she says. “We can skip a fleet enema, then.”

I breathe out a heavy sigh of relief. Bullet dodged right there. I will gladly take that suppository if it means I can skip an enema.

“If you don’t mind, can I have you take off your sneakers and those sweatpants?” Libby then asks. She looks at me curiously. “And... Do you have anything under that shirt? I’m just gonna be weighing you, that’s all.”

I nod. “Yeah, I have a tank top underneath,” I tell her.

“Wonderful. I just don’t want you to feel too naked or anything before the doctor even comes in to see you,” Libby giggles. “Take off those outer layers for me, and we’ll just have you step onto the scale.”

I start with taking off my Converse sneakers, then take down my sweatpants and peel off my white NASA tee. Now I am just left with my socks, my blue and white plaid boxers, and the tank top I had underneath my tee. I’m down to an amount of clothes that won’t mess with my weight, but nothing too exposing for me yet.

“There we go. Now, just step onto the scale, if you’re comfortable,” the nurse says.

Feeling okay at the moment, I step up. Just let her look over my shoulder as my weight is calculating. I just have to stand still for a minute.

“Okay, Jesse. You weigh one-fifty-seven pounds,” Libby tells me. “How tall are you, Jesse?”

I grin gently. “Ah. Five-ten with just socks,” I explain.

“Okay, good, good. That’s pretty average for a male your height,” she tells me. “We might want to gain just a few more pounds, but you’re still very healthy, so you have nothing to be concerned about. You can step down now.”

I step down, waiting for her to write down my weight in my file.

When she looks back at me, she smiles, though, it’s a sad smile. “You’re probably going to hate me for this one,” she says softly. “But... Can I take your temperature in your bum, Jesse? Dr. Maximov needs a basal body temperature... It can tell us a lot about your reproductive health. It just needs to be as accurate as possible, and unfortunately, that’s where it has to go.”

I laugh, unable to help myself as the nerves spark right up again. But I know it’s necessary, so I breathe it off. It probably isn’t even going to be that bad. “Ahh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” I insist. “I understand.”

“That’s a boy! What a champ you are, Jesse,” Libby coos softly, smiling. “It’ll be quick and easy, I promise. Can you do me a favor and lie down on the table? Just sit on your left side, prop yourself up on your arm and tuck your knees in just a little bit. Then your job from there is to relax.”

Even though I feel a little tense, I do as I was asked. Sit down on the bed. Roll slightly onto my side, sit up on one of my arms with my knees tucked in towards my chest slightly. And then... I just relax. Quick and easy, the nurse told me. I don’t doubt that.

Libby brings over a cart with a blood pressure monitor and cuff, as well as a couple of thermometer monitors. She takes the red one out... Turns it on with a quiet beeping sound. Clicks a cover onto the probe. I then watch as she squeezes a little packet of lube into a tissue, which she then wipes the thermometer probe through to grease it up. I try really hard not to panic when I hear the snap of latex gloves...

“Alright. You’re going to feel me touch you, Jesse. I’m just tugging down your boxers in back,” Libby explains. “That’s all I’m doing right now.”

She keeps her promise. I feel her gentle pinch the waistband of my boxers, which she then lowers. My bottom is exposed now... I can feel the drafty air of the exam room. But I don’t allow myself to panic from it.

“Okay, good. I’m going to touch you again, Jesse. Just wiping a little bit of lubricant back here so we don’t have any resistance.”

I close my eyes as I feel her very gentle hand part my cheeks. I then feel that same tissue with the lube against my anus. It’s a little bit of pressure, but it’s okay. It only lasts for a second.

“And now you’re going to feel the probe enter,” Libby says. “If you feel a resistance, let me know; it just might be the last of that suppository melting. If it is, we don’t need to go in all the way. Alright?”

I breathe out softly. “Alright.”

“Good. Just a quick poke, Jesse,” she says. “Take a deep breath, sweetie.”

I take in a nice, long deep breath... Then it’s like... Oof! That certainly was a poke! That probe’s a bit bigger than I thought it was going to be. But once it’s in, it slides right into my rectum.

And I just gotta relax. Relax... Try to ignore the feeling of something lodged in my bottom. It’ll only feel worse if I tense up. It won’t last much longer... Just taking my temperature.

Sure enough, within a minute, there’s a gentle beeping to signify that it’s got my temperature. Libby slides it out nice and carefully. And I breathe out again as it recesses my sphincter.

“And it’s all done! Ninety-eight point nine, which is very, very normal,” Libby tells me, using a clean tissue to wipe the lubricant from between my cheeks. “That wasn’t so bad, was it, Jesse?”

I laugh. “Nah, not bad at all,” I say.

Libby giggles. “I’m glad,” she says, discarding the dirty thermometer cover and her gloves into the trash can. “You can pull up those boxers and sit up. The hard part’s over for now.”

I pull my boxers back up, and I sit up on the table. Breathe it off one more time. Really, that was the easy part... I know it gets a little more tough.

Libby turns on the blood pressure monitor, holding out a hand for me. “Can I see your arm, Jesse?” she asks. “Preferably the one we didn’t just draw blood from; that might not end so well.” She giggles.

I hold out my right arm, and let her take my hand gently in hers as she slides the blood pressure cuff up onto my bicep, where she then straps it on nice and tight. When she hits another button on the monitor, it tightens around my arm. A little uncomfortable, but it’s okay. Just a nice and tight hug around my arm.

“Does that feel okay?” Libby asks.

I shake my head. “It’s perfectly fine.”

“Perfect. I’m going to touch you again, just right underneath your jaw; I’m going to take your pulse,” she says.

Again, I let her. She’s very, very gentle. I just feel her two fingers rest gently on my neck right under my jaw. I close my eyes... Just try to relax. Ignore the squeezing in my arm.

Again, it’s only a quick minute before the cuff releases the air. Libby looks over and checks the monitor, nodding in approval. “Great, sweetie. Your blood pressure is very normal; just a tiny bit high, but I think it’s just from being a little nervous,” she tells me. “It matches right up with your resting pulse as well. You’re shaping out to be very healthy, Jesse. Dr. Maximov has a very wonderful patient to be working with.”

I chuckle. “Thank you,” I respond.

Libby goes through one of the drawers below the sink, and she takes out a folded-up hospital gown 一 a white one with gray dots 一 which she then hands to me. “This here is a gown Dr. Maximov will have you wear for the examination,” she tells me. “What I’ll have you do is take off your tank top and your underwear; socks can stay on. Then you can just put on the gown... Chill and relax while you’re waiting for the doctor.”

I grin. “Alright. Sounds great,” I say. “Thank you, miss.”

She gives me that sweet smile one more time, then leaves me some privacy to get changed.

Momentarily, I jump down from the table, and get undressed the rest of the way. Take off my tank top, then my boxers. Set them aside with the rest of my clothes. Just in my socks now... Other than that, I am, in fact, naked. Though, I cover myself up with the gown the nurse gave me... Tie it closed in back. It’s a little drafty... Certainly doesn’t cover me very well in back. The nervous erection I’m springing between my legs isn’t very well-hidden, either. But it makes me feel a little less nervous because I’m not completely exposed.

Taking a deep breath, I sit back up on the table. Use the hair tie I have around my wrist to pull my hair back into a wispy, little topknot. I don’t usually wear it up, but it just keeps it out of the doctor’s way, you know? Easy access to my back and my ears without having to push my hair out of the way every thirty seconds.

And then... I chill. Just take a minute to chill. No need to freak myself out. Everything’s fine. I take some deep breaths for a minute. Rub the blood test dressing on my arm in a comforting manner. Then I take my phone back out of my sweatpants pocket. Continue scrolling through LockBox for a few. Take my mind off of things.

I’m waiting for a little bit, but it’s okay. All the more time to remind myself that everything’s okay. There’s a knock on the door, though, and I perk up. And of course, sweet little Sable Maximov allows himself in, smiling that warm, professional smile of his.

“Hey Jesse!” he greets me gently. “Long time, no see, huh?”

I laugh. He’s joking; we were hanging out with a bunch of other friends this past weekend at a mini-party type hangout. “Hey, Maple,” I return the greeting. “Funny seeing you here.”

Sable steps into the room. “I brought a friend with me. I thought it’d keep you from feeling nervous,” he says.

Following close behind him is another very friendly face. He’s looking down at a file, presumably the one that Libby made for my vitals. His jet black hair’s tied up into a neat bun, and he’s wearing a pair of black scrubs with a Cherokee infinity stroke pattern. He’s also got his light blue and black stethoscope around his neck. Those blue eyes meet mine, and he smiles brightly, making those eyes of his light up.

“Marc!” I cry happily, holding my arms out.

Marc Holiday shoves the binder into Sable’s arms, and hurries over to embrace me. “How are ya, Jesse?” he says, patting my back through the opening in my gown. “It’s actually been a while. I missed you!”

I give him a squeeze before letting him go. “It has. I’m so happy to see you,” I tell him.

Sable grins softly. “I figured you’d like that,” he says. “Marc’s gonna be helping me with the exam. Supporting you. Is that okay?”

I nod. “Of course. More than okay,” I reassure him.

“Good! So you’re here for a well man’s check, huh?” Sable says. “You nervous?”

Averting my eyes down slightly, I nod. “Yeah, a bit,” I say.

Sable shakes his head reassuringly. “That’s alright. Very natural response if you’ve never been to the urologist before,” he tells me. He then purses his lips. “Sorry about the rectal temperature, by the way. Basal body temp just refers to your fertility, and when it fluctuates depending upon when you might be the most fertile. Just needs to be as accurate as possible, and that’s unfortunately...” He winces, making an up the butt motion with his hands. “I hope it wasn’t too bad.”

I shake my head. “No, not at all,” I say.

“Perfect. Let me just ask a few questions here, and I’ll take a look at you,” Sable says.

He asks the normal questions, like how I feel on the normal basis, if I’m eating well, sleeping enough. If I’m sexually active, and if I think I might have been exposed to any kinds of infections. I don't think any of that's the case; I'm very careful. Everything’s good.

“Okay. Beautiful. Everything’s checking out. My nurse told me you pooped last night and had a suppository pill this morning so you’ve got a nice clean bum. Nothing to worry about there,” Sable says. “Allow us to wash up, and we’ll look at this handsome bod of yours.”

Sable washes his hands nice and thoroughly in the sink, and then while Marc gets his hands washed up as well, he begins to examine me.

“Eyes, ears, nose and throat,” Sable tells me. “Very easy and painless. Allow me to start with those ears.”

He grabs the otoscope from the holder on the wall, making sure to click a speculum onto it that’ll fit comfortably in my ear. And I’m able to relax. Ah, this isn’t so bad. Just like a normal doctor’s appointment.

Very gently, Sable pulls on my upper earlobe. Settles in the otoscope speculum. Doesn’t hurt in the least. It’s a little odd to have something inserted so deep into my ear, but it’s warm and it’s comforting at the same time. After a good look, Sable mutters to himself, “Very good. Next ear.” And he then has a look at my other ear in the same manner. Thorough, but very gentle at the same time.

“That’s it, Jesse. Looking very good and clean,” he says, pacing over and setting the otoscope back in its holder. As he makes his observations, Marc, leaning his weight against the counter, makes a few notes in my file.

Sable then lifts my jaw up with a soft push. “Keep your chin up like this. You’re going to feel me touch your nose.”

He removes the penlight that he slid into the pocket of his lab coat. As expected, he softly uses a thumb to lift my nostril briefly. Peers inside with the beam of his light. Then does the same on the other side. It’s really quick. Doesn’t last more than a few seconds.

“Very clear,” Sable says. He pinches my chin softly and lowers my head back down. “And head straight again.” He holds a soft finger in front of his lips. “Just going to have you focus right here on my lips.”

I focus my vision where Sable wants my pupils. Just stare at his finger against his lips. While watching my pupils grow and shrink, he moves his penlight in and out of my vision at different angles. Just checking the dilation with the light.

“You’ve got glasses, don’t you, Jesse?” Sable asks.

I nod. “I have ‘em, “ I explain. “I mostly only need them if I’m looking at a screen for hours at a time. That, or if I’ve got a really bad headache and there’s still work to do.”

“Good. And you’re wearing them when you need them?”

“Yep. Bring ‘em everywhere, just in case.”

Sable grins. “Smart man,” he says. “You have beautiful teal eyes. What a rare color.”

I smile and blush, laughing shyly.

Sable then looks towards Marc. “Hey you. I’m gonna need you in a second,” he says. “Bring me a tongue depressor and a sample swab, please?”

Marc sits himself up, going through one of the jars on the counter, then one of the drawers under the sink. “No problem, doc,” he says.

Once he has the supplies he needs, Sable raises his light again. “Thank you, Marc,” he says. “Open wide, Jesse. Tongue out.”

I open my mouth wide and stick my tongue out. Without gagging me, Sable sets the flat, wooden stick down, pressing my tongue down and out of the way of his view of the back of my throat. Then he shines the light back there.

“Looks nice and pink, Jesse,” Sable says. “Can I get a nice and strong ‘ahh’ from you?”

I give him what he wants. I respond to him with a nice, “ahh...”

“Hmm, looks good. No more tonsils,” Sable mutters to himself. Then he smiles, and those hazel eyes of his sparkle mischievously. “Alright, Jesse. Surprise swab.”

I can’t answer him with him holding my tongue down, but I feel my heart beginning to pick up the pace with nerves.

Sable then turns to Marc. “You can see the back of his throat alright?”

Marc nods, unwrapping a long cotton swab from the packet, then peering over. “Yup. Nice and clear,” he says. He raises that cotton swab, showing me the tip of it. “I’m going to swab the back of your throat with this, Jesse. You’re gonna get a little bit of a gagging sensation and it will be a little uncomfortable; bear with me.”

Very carefully, he reaches towards the back of my throat with the swab. When the cotton of the swab touches back there, it’s scratchy. And, yeah, Marc wasn’t lying. I gag a little, especially as he twirls it across the entire back to get a good sample. But I try my best to hold on... Sable’s got my tongue pushed down still, so I can’t recoil and hurt myself all too badly.

But it’s over within a few seconds.

Marc withdraws the swab, and he begins to put it in a long sample tube that came with the swab in that packet. “Alright! Done,” he says, giving me a pat on the shoulder with a soft grin as Sable removes the tongue depressor from my mouth. “You’re a champ, Jesse. Handled it well. Cough it out.”

Gladly. Covering my mouth with my arm, I cough hard to clear out that scratchy feeling that was left behind. It’s a quick recovery.

“That’s it, Jesse,” Sable praises me, rubbing my back gently as he hands the used tongue depressor to Marc to toss out. “You took that well. Sorry if it was uncomfortable. I know you’re an actor; I just wanted to make sure we catch any signs of any throat infection of sorts coming on so we can deal with it as soon as we can. Last thing we want is for you to have to be put on vocal rest, huh?”

I laugh softly. “Well, thank you for the concern,” I say.

“The rest of the swabs I have to take won’t be a surprise. I promise,” he says. “Now. I’m going to touch you again. It’ll be very gentle.”

Sable reaches out with both hands, and gently smooths them along my jawline. Moves up past my ears and to the back of my neck where my thyroid rests. Brings them back to the front and runs them down the sides of my neck, then in front right by my throat. And then along my shoulders. It’s soft, like a massage.

“Good. No swollen glands, so you’re not sick. I expect that throat sample will look nice and clean,” Sable says. “Can I get you to pull down the top of your gown?”

I let the front of my gown fall from my shoulders. Let the top rest in my lap to reveal my bare chest.

“Arms up and behind your head,” Sable instructs.

I raise both my arms, and place them behind my head, interlocking my fingers. I didn’t shave my pits in the shower; just my chest this morning. I’m sure that’s probably fine, though.

“Alright. Breast exam,” Sable says with a soft smile. “Did your doctor in Florida do breast exams on you, Jesse?”

I grin shyly. “I don’t believe so.”

Sable chuckles. “For shame,” he says. “Even men need to have their breasts examined; they do have a little bit of breast tissue, so can still get cancer and they need to be checked. Especially if they have big pecs; think of our good buds: Logan Adder. Alain Berlin. Colby Cheyenne and the rest of the guys on the wrestling team. That’s what I’m doing to you now, so just relax; I’m going to touch you.”

With very soft fingertips, Sable reaches into my pectoral, and very carefully massages my breast. It’s very gentle; he feels around my entire pectoral from the outside to the inside, until my nipple. He then reaches into my armpit, where he does a gentle feel underneath there as well.

“There we are. Sorry if that last bit tickled a little. Everything feels normal,” Sable reassures me. “Can I see you examine your left pec? Just to make sure you know how to do it so you can examine yourself.”

I nod. “Sure, of course.”

Sable takes hold of my right hand, pushing down my thumb and my pinkie. “Very well. What you’re going to do is use these three fingers,” he explains, pressing my hand to rest against my chest, pressing it down softly, then moving it over. “And just feel from the outside to your nipple. All four quadrants, just like this. What you’re feeling for is any hardness or swollen lymph nodes. The best time to do this is probably during or after a nice, warm shower, just like you would with your testicles. If something doesn’t feel right, head to the doctor right away. You know your body better than anyone, so it’s important that you know what your chest and testicles feel like normally.” He nods once. “Go ahead. Let me know what you feel.”

Continuing with what Sable showed me how to do, I gently press around my breast. Feeling for anything I shouldn’t be feeling. It’s normal, though. Just regular, squishy muscle and tissue.

“How is it?” Sable asks gently.

I nod softly. “Good. Feels good.”

Sable grins. “Perfect. Not too hard at all.” He then looks at Marc. “Marc, can you double-check for Jesse?”

Marc nods, stepping forward. “Definitely,” he says, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Gonna touch you.” With his free hand, he leans forward for a full view of my chest, and he very gently massages my pectoral, just as Sable had been doing. Feels the full pectoral muscle, then into my pit to feel my lymph nodes.

He nods in approval. “He checks out,” he says with that smart, flashy grin.

“Just as I thought he would,” Sable purrs. He takes his stethoscope off of his neck, placing it in his ears and holding the chestpiece in his palm to warm it up. “Leave that top down for me, Jesse. I’m going to listen to your heart with my stethoscope here.”

Marc rests his hand on my shoulder, and I sit nice and still as Sable rests that chestpiece against my chest. And, damn, did he do a good job warming that chestpiece. It’s not at all cold, even if it’s metal.

Even still, I must tense up a little when he touches it because Marc rubs my bare back. “Just relax,” he reminds me.

I relax my spine a bit more. Kind of let the feel of the chestpiece relax me as Sable listens to the entirety of my heart. Make sure it’s pumping okay. No irregular beating. All the while, I find it really easy to relax as Marc massages my shoulder gently. Every few seconds, Sable moves the chestpiece around my chest, listening to each chamber of my heart.

“Beautiful. Very strong heart. Very healthy,” he says softly. “Can I get you to sit forward, Jesse?”

Marc helps me sit forward, and Sable sets his stethoscope against my bare back. “And I’m just going to listen to your breathing,” he says. “Take a deep breath.”

I take in a nice, long deep breath for Sable to get a good listen to my lungs. Just as he did with my heart, Sable moves it along my back to get a full listen to both lungs, asking me to breathe deeply as he does so. I comply. Breathe in real deep so he can get the full listen.

“Good. And take another deep breath. That’s it. Again. Good... Nice chest breaths. Just like that. Again... Little deeper on that one. Very good. And one more.” He nods, removing his stethoscope from his ears and putting it back around his neck.

“Very good, Jesse,” Sable says. “And now might I get you to lie down?”

Scooting myself back on the table a little bit, I allow Marc to help me lie down on my back. “One second, gorgeous,” he snickers with that signature smirk of his. “Gonna grab you a cover-up real quick, I know you don’t have on underwear.”

Sable chuckles softly. “I’m just going to be listening to your heart while you’re lying down... Listen to your tummy, feel around a little bit,” he explains. “When I do that, I have to lift up your gown a little bit to get underneath with my stethoscope and feel your skin and whatnot. So... Marc’s grabbing you something to cover up a little bit with.”

I nod, laughing nervously. “Alright. That’s fine.”

Marc returns from the counter with a light blanket. It’s got the same pattern as my gown: white with gray dots. “Alright, Jesse. Just lift up that gown... Probably just up past your chest is fine,” he instructs me.

I do. Grab the bottom of my gown, and pull it all the way up. As I do so, my nervous erection springs free, though, Marc comes to my rescue there. The second my gown comes up, he covers my lower half; just from my groin region down. While leaving my chest and stomach open for examination, my erection and other private parts are covered well.

“There we go,” Marc says, tucking the blanket comfortably around my hips and legs. “How’s that?”

Again, I let out that nervous laugh. “Much better,” I say.

“Better. Good,” Marc says. He then stands by the bed again, just resting his hand on my shoulder.

Sable takes his stethoscope off his neck again, putting it in his ears. “Alright. Let me have a listen to your heart again, then your stomach.”

Just like before, he places that chestpiece on my chest very gently. Very gently. Just a little bit of a tickle from how gentle he is, but other than that, it feels just fine. He listens to the same areas of my chest as before. The whole of my heart. Making sure everything sounds okay.

He then moves the chestpiece down to my belly, where he listens very carefully to the sounds my bowels produce in each quadrant of my abdomen. Making sure everything is moving along just fine, and there’s nothing signifying I might have a sick stomach.

After a good, long listen, Sable takes off his stethoscope again, and nods in approval. “Everything checks out. Your heart is just as strong, and your stomach is doing just what it’s supposed to,” he says. “This is probably a given, but are your bowel movements relatively normal?”

I breathe out softly, nodding once. “Yeah, yeah. I haven’t had any problems,” I reassure him.

“Good! I didn’t think there would be any issues we should worry about,” he says. “Now I’m just going to do another breast exam to make sure there’s nothing we’re missing while you’re sitting up. Then I’ll get a good feel of your belly. Bladder and kidneys and everything else, too. That okay?”

I nod. “That’s fine.”

“Alright. You know the drill 一 I’m going to touch you,” Sable says.

Using his same, very gentle and tender touch, Sable begins to examine my breasts again. I hold my arms over my head again, and allow him to palpate the entirety of my pectorals, then each armpit.

“Very good. We didn’t miss a thing. We can tuck your chest back in now,” Sable says.

With that, Marc softly pulls down my gown just a little bit so that my chest is covered again. Straightens it out.

Sable then begins to press around my tummy. He starts very light, just pressing with one hand. Just for the normal stuff. Stomach, liver, intestines, colon. As he palpates, he looks down at my expression.

“Nothing feeling tender at all, right?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Not at all.”

“Good.”

Seeing as the light pressing doesn’t seem to reveal any abnormalities, he uses two hands, and presses a little bit harder. It tickles 一 I can’t help but laugh.

Marc and Sable both laugh too. “Ticklish?” Sable asks.

“Just a little,” I laugh softly.

“Ahh, I’m sorry, Jesse!” he says gently, continuing to press a little bit more. “Just another quick second here... I’ve got your stomach and colon here... Both of those feel good.” He then rests his hands right under the left side of my ribcage. “And then I’m just going to get underneath your ribs here. Take a deep breath in...”

I do. I take in a deep breath.

“And let it all the way out.”

As I breathe in, Sable slides his hand just underneath my ribs, where he can get a good feel of everything underneath.

“Thank you. And in one more time...” I do. “And back out. Good.”

After feeling under my other rib, Sable moves down to my lower stomach. Cups my bladder gently and palpates it a bit. Again, he checks my expression. “That okay? Doesn’t ache?” he asks.

I nod. “Mmhm. It’s okay.”

Sable then reaches one hand underneath my lower back, pressing upwards. Then he presses down with his other hand against my waist. “And how about this? This is just your kidney... There’s no pain, right?”

“Not a bit,” I reassure him. “No pain at all.”

Sable then moves to the other side, and does the same thing: hand on my back, hand on my waist. Gentle press inwards.

“And here?”

I shake my head. “Still good.”

“Perfect,” Sable says. “Allow me to fix your gown a little bit. Marc, if you could, can you grab me a pair of gloves? Bottle of lube?”

I feel myself breathe out very... Very tensely. I know what that means. I do. And I can’t hide that I’m nervous.

As Marc gathers everything he needs, Sable tucks my gown down to cover my body again, and adjusts the blanket to cover my lower half. “Now. I know you’re probably getting nervous,” he says softly. “I just want you to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen... Everything is just a checkup. Just a checkup... Keep that in your mind: ‘just a checkup.’ I’m going to explain what Marc and I are going to do next. Again, it isn’t bad. I promise.”

I take a deep breath. “Okay,” I give him the go-ahead. He’s right. It’s just a checkup.

“Alright. I’m going to start with doing a prostate exam. Get one tough part out of the way,” Sable begins to exam. “I’m sure you have an idea of how that’s going to work. Finger in your bum, quick feel of your prostate. Then I’ll give you a break and examine your genitals. I’ll do a testicular exam... Check your penis, get you tested for STDs. From there, we’ll do an ultrasound on your testicles and make sure everything is doing okay on the inside. Then it’ll get a little bit rough again, and we’ll do an anoscopy on you to open you up and make sure your rectum looks okay. It won’t be a lot of fun, but we’re gonna help you out as much as we can to make it comfortable. I’m sure everything’s going to look perfectly healthy.” He pats my stomach. “And that’s pretty much it after that! We’ll get you to pee in a cup once everything’s over and all the nerves are gone, but you’ll be done. We don’t even need poop or semen from you this time.” Again, another gentle pat to the stomach. “Is that okay, Jesse?”

I take another deep breath. “Okay... Alright, we’re good,” I tell him. “I’m good.”

Sable smiles. “That’s a man,” he praises me. “You’ve got this, Jesse. You have Marc and I. We’re not going to let you get hurt.”

Marc comes over with the gloves and the bottle of KY lube that Sable requested. “You’re gonna be just fine, my brother,” he reassures me. Patting my shoulder, he raises an eyebrow. “I’m assuming you are not at this point in your life, but you aren’t engaging in any regular anal sex, right, Jesse?”

I laugh nervously, feeling the apples of my cheeks turn pink. “I am not,” I confirm.

“Great. We can skip giving you an anal pap,” Marc says.

Again, I laugh, unfamiliar with the term. “Sounds scary,” I say.

Marc chuckles, helping me roll onto my left side, then fixes my legs accordingly. “Nah, not really,” he insists. “It’s just a long cotton swab that goes up your butt for a few seconds. Certainly not comfortable and a little scratchy, but nothing terrible.” He bends both of my legs at the knee, then my right leg a little bit at the hip, then he pats my waist with a grin. “You don’t need that, though. Just men who have a lot of anal sex regularly.”

“Thank you for checking on that for me, Marc,” Sable says as he pulls on those white, latex gloves with a sharp snap. “Alright, Jesse. Your job now is to relax. I’ll explain everything as I go. I’m going to start by having Marc tuck up the blanket a little bit and expose your backside.”

“Gonna feel me touch you,” Marc warns me. Then I feel him adjusting the blankets a little bit... Then my gown. There’s a breeze again... Maybe even more so than when my boxers were tugged down to have my temperature taken.

Then I hear a cap pop, and I’m doing my best not to panic. Thankfully, Marc knows I have to try not to panic. He comes around to the left side of the bed to face me. Sits in the chair beside the bed and takes hold of my hands. “You and me, Jesse,” he says. “I’ve got you. We’re gonna go through it together.”

I breathe out, unable to help but smile. I give his hands a squeeze.

“That’s it, Jesse. You’re okay,” Sable praises me. “It’s going to be a little bit cold... I just don’t want you to be startled, but I’m putting some of the jelly on your anus here...”

He’s right... There is a sudden slick coolness between my cheeks. Makes me breathe out heavily, squeeze onto Marc’s hands.

“Good. Breathe,” Marc reminds me. “Breathe, breathe, breathe...”

“Alrighty, Jesse. Your bum here is going to be nice and slippery so there’s shouldn’t be any resistance,” Sable says. “Now... This is going to feel a little bit different from the thermometer. A little bit bigger, but not by too much; you know that I have skinny fingers.” He chuckles, and I find myself laughing nervously as well. “That, and I’ll be touching around inside of you, whereas the thermometer is rigid and still. What I want for you to do is take in a nice deep breath. And as you feel me push in, I want for you to push out. Kind of like you need to have a bowel movement. Okay?”

I nod. “Okay,” I breathe.

“Good. Give Marc’s hands a squeeze and breathe in real deep...”

I do. I squeeze Marc’s hands, and I breathe in. Just about as deep as my lungs can hold.

“And breathe out and push for me.”

I do. I breathe out heavily and at the same time, I push like I do have to poop. And all at once, I feel Sable’s finger enter me.

Ohh boy... Oh, hot damn... It’s definitely a bit bigger than the thermometer... There’s a bit of resistance, kind of like when you actively have to push when you’re having a bowel movement to move it all through. It might not even be that big, but it does feel a bit bigger.

The breath I let out is very shaky, and I grasp onto Marc’s hands, probably a little harder than I meant. Marc’s cool with it, though. He squeezes my hands just as tight, telling me gently, “Good job, Jesse.”

“Ooh, Jesse,” Sable says with a wince. “Are you squeezing? You’re awful tight.”

I swallow hard. “I-I... I’m not sure,” I choke out.

With his free hand, he pats my hip. “It’s alright. Just try to breathe evenly. Marc will help you,” he tells me. “Just try to keep that sphincter open for me. You’re going to feel a little bit of a pressure. Shouldn’t hurt, though. If it does, tell me.”

Marc then gives my hands a squeeze so I’ll look at him. “Alright, my guy. Even breathing,” he tells me. “Now. You and I are gonna take a nice deep breath in for a good, long four seconds. C’mon...”

As promised, the two of us take a deep breath in. Nice and slow for four seconds. I make sure I fill up my chest entirely.

“That’s it. And breathe it all back out. Four seconds,” Marc instructs.

I do. Breathe out long and continuous for another four seconds.

“Thatta man. Just keep doing it, Jesse,” Marc praises me.

Marc coaches me in breathing evenly while Sable does some feeling around in my rectum. It’s a bit of pressure... Just have to relax through it.

And then he hits my prostate.

It’s weird. Weird ‘cause it kind of feels good, but... Way too sensitive at the same time.

I feel my eyes widen, and the breath that I was holding comes out a little faster than I meant for it to with a little bit of whistle. Embarrassingly enough, I think that I squeeze his finger a little bit. I also feel my penis get rock hard between my thighs.

Sable chuckles, patting my hip. “Yep. That’s your prostate,” he says. “It’ll feel a bit intense and exciting, but just relax. Keep up with that breathing, keep your sphincter open. You’re doing so good.”

Marc squeezes my hands one more time. “Stay relaxed, Jesse,” he tells me gently. “It will feel like that. Feels a little bit good, huh? Just keep breathing. Squeeze my hands and keep up with the breathing we were doing.”

I do. I start again with the breathing pattern Marc and I established, then squeeze his hands. I try not to squeeze my sphincter and my butt muscles when I feel Sable prod at my prostate a little bit, and instead try to squeeze Marc’s hands instead. Close my eyes and just focus on relaxing.

It’s only a few more times. A few more little electric pulses inside my bum, feels good. Then Sable stops moving around inside.

“Push, Jesse,” he tells me.

I do. I push like I’m having another bowel movement, and as I do, Sable withdraws his finger. Everything’s normal again, save for the lube.

“Good! Good job, Jesse,” Sable praises me. “Sit still just another minute... Let me wipe you up.” He then uses a tissue to wipe me up from the lube, not unlike the way the nurse did. It feels okay; he’s very gentle.

He examines the content of the finger that was just inside of me... Doesn’t look like anything except KY and a little bit of rectal mucus. The normal stuff. “Hmm, you did clean very well, didn’t you, Jesse?” he mutters, removing his gloves and discarding them. But he puts on a fresh pair right after. “I know that was a little rough. It’s never fun, but you’re handling this so well.”

I untense myself, and look up at Marc. He’s smiling, and he lets go of one of my hands to give my hair a stroke. “You okay?” he asks gently.

I breathe out everything that I was storing inside of me, and I laugh softly. “I’m okay,” I insist. “Just a little intense.”

“Good. What a good man. You’re the champ, Jesse,” Marc chuckles. “Let’s get you back up.”

Now that I’ve been cleaned up in back, Marc helps me sit back up. He adjusts the blanket, again, folding it up and placing it behind me for the time being. He then wraps an arm around my shoulders like he’s still trying to support me.

I then watch as Sable begins opening another one of those swab packets. This time, the swab’s very, very small and thin. Designed to fit into small places.

I can’t help but swallow hard. I know where that’s going.

Sable looks at me with remorse in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Jesse. You’re gonna hate me by the end of the appointment,” he says with a soft chuckle.

I laugh. “Ahh, I could never,” I say, finding that my voice is shaking a little.

He grins, patting my knee softly. “Glad to hear it. I know it’s getting a little rough,” he says. “Regardless. I’m going to examine your private parts... Make sure everything’s okay. And I’m going to begin with a little STD test. That’s what this swab is.” He says. “You’ve had this before, Jesse?”

I press my lips together. “Yep.”

“Okay. So you know what to expect,” he says, sitting on the stool in the room and wheeling himself in front of me. “Can we just get you to sit forward on the table? Right on the very edge.”

Arms still around my shoulders, Marc helps me scoot myself forward. Butt on the very edge of the table.

“Good. And just open your knees nice and wide... Lift up the bottom of your gown,” Sable instructs as he presses against the insides of my knees to open them up.

I help him out and open them the rest of the way. Tuck my gown up at the waist and let my nervous, erect penis come out from underneath.

“Alright, Jesse. You know the drill,” Sable says softly. “Sit nice and still. Don’t tense up. Just let it happen. It’ll burn a little bit. Just a quick burn...”

Before Sable gets started, Marc grabs my hand again and holds it warmly in mine. I breathe like I’m about to have a baby, and I hold onto his hand nice and tight. Avert my eyes up and away from it.

With that, I feel as Sable parts the lips of my urethra. Holds them open. Then the next thing I feel is a harsh burn. A small fire on the inside of my urethra, in a scary place that I can’t soothe on my own.

Gripping onto Marc’s hand, I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a pained “ahh!”

But as much as it hurts, it’s over in seconds.

“Alright! All done, Jesse!” Sable reassures me. When I open my eyes and breathe out through gritted teeth, I find him putting the swab into a tube to be tested later on. “I’m so sorry, I know that’s rough. Rub it out if you have to.”

I breathe out through tight lips again. Wipe the tears that formed in the corners of my eyes, then give my penis a brief rub to ward off the slight ache that remains. Give Marc’s hand another squeeze. All the while, Marc rubs my back comfortingly.

Sable places that swab with the one he took from my throat, then comes back to sit on the stool. “You still okay, Jesse?” he asks gently.

I nod. “Yeah, I’m still good,” I reassure him.

“Alright. I’m glad. You’re holding up so well,” Sable tells me. “Now, just relax. Keep those knees nice and wide for me. I’m going to have a look at your penis.”

Marc opts to keep a hand on my shoulder, occasionally rubbing my back.

The next thing I feel is okay enough. It’s just Sable occasionally moving my penis to have a look at the skin all over. Make sure he doesn’t see anything sketchy that we should be worried about. Just looking for a good few minutes.

“You don’t have any kind of pain or burning during sex or when you pee, right Jesse?” Sable asks.

I shake my head. “Not at all.”

“And you haven’t noticed any genital warts or unusual discharge?”

Again, I shake my head. “Nope. I’m good there,” I reassure him.

“And it looks to me like you’re able to get an erection just fine. No worries, I know this is just the result of being a little nervous and having your prostate stimulated. Okay! Good. You’re doing good. Keep up with the relaxing; you’re very relaxed. My hands aren’t cold, right?”

I chuckle. “No, no. You’re good.”

Sable takes another minute to look. Just like he did earlier, he spreads the urethral meatus to look for anything unusual. Combs through my pubic hair to look for any uninvited guests.

Then he begins a soft and gentle palpation of my penis. He applies just enough pressure to know what’s going on, but not enough to hurt me. Makes sure there aren’t any hardnesses on the inside that we can’t see. Palpates from my shaft to my glans. When the length seems okay, he places his thumb and index finger at the bottom of my shaft, and milks upwards towards the glans again. Just makes sure that no suspicious fluids comes out.

Honestly, I have to hold back a moan. My penis is so sensitive at the moment that it feels weirdly good.

“Very good. Penis is very healthy, Jesse. That’s all we can ask for,” Sable says gently. “Can I get you to stand up, Jesse? I’m going to do a testicular exam, and we want to check them while they’re hanging low between your legs. Gives us the best idea of what’s happening.”

Marc helps me stand up, just on the floor. Puts the blanket on the table for now. I keep the bottom of my gown pinned to my hip so that Sable can still easily access my private parts. As I stand up, my erection rests itself against my stomach, and my balls drop down low between my legs. Best place to check them out.

“Thank you, Jesse,” Sable says. “Just looking at them here, they appear to be the same size. That’s good.” He nods once. “Again. Just relax; I’m going to touch you. If anything hurts, I want to know about it.”

Just like before, there’s a disturbance down there, but not a bad one. Sable takes my testicles into his hands and massages them between his thumbs very gently. Just rolling them through and making sure there’s nothing wrong here. Makes sure to give my epididymis a good feel to make sure nothing’s wrong there as well.

“No random sharp aches or pains in your testicles, right, Jesse?” he asks.

I shake my head again. “Nope. Good here too,” I reassure him.

Sable nods, but is quiet while he concentrates on the exam. Though, he then speaks up soon after. “Do you check your own testicles often?” he asks.

I laugh nervously. “Uh... Admittedly probably not as often as I should,” I admit.

Sable grins softly. “Well, it’s always good to get in the habit,” he says. “Set a day of the month, maybe. The first is usually a good idea because it’s easy to remember. And after you get out of a warm shower... Just give it a good check. They’ll be hanging nice and low like they are now. And like I said, if something feels wrong, you come in and have it ultrasounded. We’ll take some x-rays, do some tests.” He laughs softly. “I don’t think you’ll run into any problems considering how healthy everything is. But can you do that for me?”

I laugh softly. “Of course, yes,” I say.

“Good.” Sable then reaches a little further into my pelvis, placing two fingers between the socket of my hip and my testicles. “Can I feel you cough, Jesse?”

I do. I cover my mouth with my arm and give him a good, hard cough so that if something feels wrong, he’ll be able to feel it.

Sable then moves to do the same thing on the other side. “Good. Very good. And one more time over here. Big cough.”

I do, one more time. Let Sable feel the way everything shifts.

“That’s it, very good,” Sable says. “You may sit back down now. Keep those legs tucked in for a second; I don’t want to hit you.”

I sit down on the table again and pull my legs in while Sable pulls the stirrups out from underneath the bed. Slides a couple of soft, blue covers with little snowflakes onto them so it won’t be cold against my feet, even if I have socks on. I appreciate the thought.

I don’t realize it at first until I feel Marc’s gentle hand on my back, but I think I breathe out through tight lips. “Don’t panic yet, Jesse!” he tells me gently. “He’s not doing the anoscopy yet. Just an ultrasound of your testicles first. He just needs those knees open and this is an easy way to do it.”

I laugh nervously, glad that my fears aren’t coming true... Least not yet.

Sable grins, knowing that he just gave me a pretty good scare. “Alright Jesse. If you’re comfortable, I’ll have you lie down on your back. Scoot your bum to the end of the bed and rest your feet in the stirrups. Nothing bad is going to happen to you; I promise.”

Glad he’s making me feel as comfortable as possible, I laugh softly again. Lie down, keeping myself propped up on my elbows for a moment, and pull myself to the end of the bed. Then I open my legs up... Place either foot into the rests. And knowing the placement seems about right, I fully lie down. Marc grins softly, stroking my forehead comfortingly.

“That’s it, Jesse. Now... Just let those knees fall open,” Sable instructs gently.

I do. I let my knees fall to the sides so that Sable can see between them nice and easily. It feels a little strange... My hips are open. I think... I think my butthole’s a bit open too... Pulsating nervously, though, I can’t help it. I suppose... That is the function of these things. Just a Jesseer of relaxing.

Thankfully, Marc covers me back up with the blanket. Drapes it over my knees in a way that only Sable can see what’s going on underneath. Then, while Sable’s setting up one of those monitors beside the table, Marc turns on the lamp. Positions it under the blankets and between my legs so that Sable will be able to see nice and clear what’s going on.

“Alright, Jesse. Let’s see here,” Sable mutters gently once everything’s been set up. “You’re going to feel me touch you under here. I’m just draping some paper over your hips and underneath your testicles. Just in case some of the jelly leaks; you and I won’t get sticky.”

I chuckle, lifting my head up briefly. “Okay,” I say.

With that, Sable takes out a sheet of light blue medical paper, and he does exactly what he said: places it over my hips, under my testicles. My penis is still nervous and erect... It stays rested against my stomach and far out of the way.

Now that I’ve been prepped... He gets started. Sable rolls up the sleeves of his lab coat to his elbows. Shows me the ultrasound probe... Nothing too scary. Lets me watch as he squirts a thick line of the light blue Aquasonic jelly on it. The stuff is kind of cool-looking in the bottle, actually.

“Alright, Jesse. This is going to be a bit cold,” Sable warns me. “Might tickle a little bit too, but just try to relax. Breathe out slow.”

Next thing I feel between my legs in a very sensitive area is exactly what Sable promised: something cold and something jelly-like that tickles when he moves it around. And as he suggested, I let out a nice, long and slow breath.

“Good. Good job, Jesse,” Sable praises me. “Just relax... Marc and I are just looking for anything abnormal.”

All I have to do is just lay here. Focus on the gentle feeling of Marc stroking my hair while he and Sable look over the images on the ultrasound screen. I kind of watch... I don’t really know what’s going on in there, but... Good things, I think. Doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong.

“Perfect,” Sable says, reaching over and pressing a button on the monitor that seemingly captures a screenshot. “Nice and smooth on the left.”

I just have to sit still and relax for a few minutes more while they look at my right testicle. Just a little bit cold and ticklish, but... It’s not bad. Marc knows what to do to distract me... Just keeps up with stroking my hair.

Sable then takes another screenshot, and with that, he begins cleaning up the probe. “Wonderful, Jesse. Everything feels and looks great with your testicles. Perfectly fertile and healthy,” he says. He uses a sanitary wipe to clean up the probe from the gel and anything else, then prints out a strip of the screenshots he just took.

Marc smirks. “Happy sperm,” he mutters quietly, thinking that it’ll get past Sable and I.

I just laugh, swatting at him for being a smartass. I heard that one.

Sable chuckles as well, tossing the sanitary paper and using another skin-safe wipe to clean the gel from my testicles. “Well, since everything looks completely normal and healthy, I’m going to be keeping this with your medical files as an example of what your testicles look like regularly,” he explains with a soft laugh. “That way, if something’s wrong, you can come in and have another ultrasound done, and we’ll have something to compare it to. Sound good?”

I nod. “Sounds great,” I say.

Sable nods gently. Hands the print-out to Marc. “Marc. I’m tasking you to put that with his files on the counter,” he says, voice very soft. “Bring me a fresh pair of gloves, and... A disposable anoscope, if you will. Please and thank you.”

Marc nods once, and heads off to do exactly that.

And finally, I breathe deeply. Stare at the ceiling and try to keep the horror out of my eyes. I knew it was coming, but... It’s all too real now. I try to focus on the chat between Marc and Sable for a second, but... It sounds like we’re underwater all of a sudden.

“Need any more lube, Maple?” Marc asks.

“I’m good. Plenty of lube right here,” Sable answers.

Marc writes something in my file on the counter for a moment. Grabs some gloves from the box. Writes something else. “You got a preference in glove color, my guy? You gonna stick with white?”

Sable laughs softly. “You always have to freak out your patients with the color change. I’m telling you, they must think you’re weird,” he says. “White’s fine. I’m a white-glove kind of doctor.”

I think Sable then notices how quiet I fell. That, or... He can hear my heavy breathing. It’s probably exactly that.

He places either hand on my knees. “Jesse. Look up at me for a second,” he tells me.

I prop myself up on my elbows to be able to see him. Make eye-contact with him which is what I know he wants.

Of course, Sable’s grinning gently. “I don’t want you to be nervous or afraid. Alright?” he whispers gently. “I know it’s daunting, but... It’s just to make sure you’re healthy in there. Just want to make sure we catch anything that needs to be caught. Now, if you relax, and you breathe... It won’t be too bad at all. I promise. I’d never lie to you, Jesse.”

I try to laugh softly. “Alright. I... I trust you,” I say, voice and breath shaking a little bit.

“Good,” Sable says. “Now, lie back down. Take some deep breaths.”

I do just that. Lie down. Breathe deeply and try to relax until Marc comes back over.

The first thing I notice is the crinkle of the plastic the anoscope is wrapped in. That, paired with the snap of Sable changing his gloves makes me so nervous that I feel my penis pulsating. But I just try to keep breathing for a moment. I feel a little better when Marc returns to the chair by the bed... Grabs my hand and holds it comfortingly in his. Readily available for a supportive squeeze.

“Alright, Jesse,” Sable says. “I know some men are a bit different, so I’m going to check in with you here. Would you like to see what the anoscope looks like so you know what’s going inside of you? Or would looking at it make you too nervous? Either is perfectly okay. If you’ll be too nervous looking at it, I can open it and lube it up under the blanket here so you can’t see it.”

I breathe out again through tight lips. “Uh...” It is a tough question. Seeing it might make me tense up... I know the things can be a little bit big. Bigger than Sable’s digit, for sure. Maybe even a little bigger than a normal bowel movement. Knowing that, I might try to force it out subconsciously. At the same time, it’s probably good to know what it looks like as a reassurance that it isn’t scary. Get familiar with it so I don’t make up stuff about what it looks like and how big it is as Sable’s trying to put it inside.

Eventually, I prop myself up on my elbows one more time. “Let me see,” I decide.

With that, Sable shows me what it looks like inside of the cellophane packaging. And I realize looking at it was probably the best idea. It’s definitely not as big or scary as I thought it was going to be. “This here is an anoscope, Jesse. Doctors today are turning towards using disposable ones just like this. They’re more comfortable for the men they’re examining, and clear plastic like this makes it easier to see the walls inside,” he explains. “As you can see here, it’s this plastic guy. The probe part that goes inside of you is about ten centimeters long... ‘Bout four inches. Just long enough to see your rectal cavity 一 no further. And then it’s probably about... A little less than an inch wide. It’s gotta be a little bit bigger so that it’ll open you up properly and we can see what’s going on. Take a couple swabs of the mucosa.” He then points at a part at the other end. “This here is the obturator. That’s the part we take out to open up the scope once it’s inside. The cool thing about these disposable ones is that when you take out the obturator, it triggers an LED light. Lets me see inside of you easier than I can with just the lamp here. With the metal ones, you’d probably have to plug in a light source of some kind, or they’d use their penlight. Westy Brass used an otoscope.” He then shrugs gently, beginning to open up the package. “Not so bad, I promise.”

He finishes unwrapping the scope, and then takes out the bottle of KY from the side tray again. He first takes a little dollop of the lubricant onto his finger, then looks up at me. “You’re going to feel me touch you. It’ll be just like the prostate exam; just a little bit of lubricant around your anus. Helps the scope just slide right in without much trouble.”

He’s not lying. I feel that same ticklish coolness against my anus that is Sable applying some lube to my anus. I try not to tense it up, as nervous as I am. I know tensing up now will make it hard to relax in a minute. Just squeeze Marc’s hand for comfort.

Once I’m nice and slicked up, Sable then lubes up the anoscope. Puts a line of the KY jelly on both sides of it. Next thing I feel is the plastic right at the opening of my sphincter.

“Jesse, your job here is to relax. Breathe evenly. Push like you have to go to the bathroom, okay?” Sable reminds me. “Marc is right here. He’s going to help you. Understand?”

I nod, breathing like I’m going to give birth once again. “I understand,” I confirm.

“Alright. I’m going to insert this in one... Two... Three...”

And just like with the prostate exam, I breathe deeply, and I push like a regular bowel movement. Just like before.

I expect it to slide in pretty easily like Sable’s finger did. It’s not very big... It should slide right in, especially with all the lube.

But it doesn’t. There’s a resistance against Sable pushing in. Even as I’m pushing out, it still won’t go in.

Eventually, Sable gets in the tip... Just the very, very tip penetrates my anal sphincter. And it’s sore. It feels very, very sore. If that goes inside of me anymore... It’s gonna hurt.

Sable pushes it in a little further, and I try to allow it to slide inside of my rectum, but... The sore gets even worse. I involuntarily force it back out.

“Ow...” I mutter, wincing and squeezing onto Marc’s hand hard. With my unoccupied hand, I snatch up a handful of my gown.

Sable looks up at me briefly. “Try to relax, Jesse,” he reminds me.

I try to breathe evenly like Marc had me doing before. Relax my bottom so I’m not likely to tense my sphincter and make it even harder. I really do try. But the more Sable pushes, the more it hurts.

“Ow... Ow...” I squeak, squeezing my eyes shut and nearly squeezing Marc’s hand until it’s blue.

Sable frowns at my expression of pain. “Does it hurt, Jesse?” he asks gently. “Or is it just uncomfortable?”

I bite my lip. “It hurts,” I whimper. “It feels like it won’t fit.”

Marc gives my hand a squeeze, patting it with his free hand. “Here, Jesse,” he says gently. “Breathe like you are now. You’re doing a good job with the breathing. While you’re doing that, think about keeping your sphincter open. Tell yourself that your legs are nice and spread open, so your sphincter’s open, and the anoscope does, in fact, fit. Just... Keep it open, and keep it relaxed.”

I do. I try my best to breathe evenly... Breathe in four seconds, hold it for four, and let it out for another four. And while I’m doing that, I try to operate under the knowledge that because my feet are in the stirrups, my knees are open, and my anus is nice and relaxed. It shouldn’t hurt.

Seeing that I’m doing everything Marc suggested, Sable tries again to push the anoscope in. But... It’s no different. It really feels like it’s not going to fit. It’s too big.

I hiss in pain, once again squeezing Marc’s hand much harder than I meant to. “O-ow!” I cry out. “Ow, ow, ow!”

Again, Sable frowns and purses his lips. “Sphincter open, Jesse,” he reminds me. “Relax and keep that sphincter open.”

I breathe out, just barely able to open my eyes through the pain. “I-I... I’m sorry,” I whimper. “I’m trying... I really am trying...”

Just then, Sable frowns... He knows something’s wrong.

“It feels like it’s not going to fit, you say?” he asks me.

I just nod, swallowing hard.

Sable nods in an understanding. “Alright... Maybe you’re just having a hard time trying to relax your sphincter in this position. It can be a little hard; it’s instinctive to clench up to keep things out that don’t belong in there. You actually don’t even realize you are doing it. Us doctors refer to it as your ‘anal wink’ reflex,” he explains. “Do you mind if we try a different position?”

I shake my head. “Nah... Nah, it’s okay,” I breathe.

“Alright,” Sable says. “Feet out of the stirrups here for a second.”

Marc helps me sit up again, and I pull my feet back in while Sable takes off the covers and puts the stirrups back under the table.

“Mkay. We’re going to try the knee-chest position here,” Sable explains. “It’ll make it a little easier to relax because your sphincter kind of opens up itself. Now... We’re going to have you get on all fours. Rest down your upper-half. Okay?”

Marc strokes my hair again. “It’ll feel a little embarrassing and probably more exposing, but... He’s right,” he reassures me. “It’ll help, and... We’ll get you covered up as much as we can with the blanket again.”

I breathe it off. I’m seriously nervous now, but... I try to breathe. I trust him... I really do. If it’ll help... I’ll do it.

Passing the blanket off to Marc for a moment, I assume the position. Get on all fours... Then get down on my elbows. Puts my butt higher than the rest of me... And it does kind of feel like my sphincter is prematurely open. Maybe this will help...

Once I’m down, my gown kind of falls off of my back and underneath me, leaving me almost naked. Marc covers what’s exposed with the blanket to the best of his ability. It can’t cover up much of my private area without getting in the way, unfortunately, but I appreciate him trying to preserve my dignity as much as possible.

“Good. Let’s see if this is any better,” Sable says. I hear the cap of the KY jelly again. “I’m going to reapply a little more lube and see if it helps any more. Again; I’m going to touch you.”

Once more, I feel the cool gel being applied over my anus, though, this time, it feels a little more wet, since I was already pretty lubed up.

Sable applies even a little bit more onto the probe, and then I feel it pressing against my opening again. “Alright, Jesse. You know what to do. Breathe deeply and push like there’s a baby on the way,” he reminds me.

Just like before, I do. I push like I’m having a baby, and as I do, I feel the plastic of the anoscope again. Unlike before, I’m much more relaxed because I know that I’m already open. It’s harder to tense up like this. All I have to do is relax. It’s even easier as Marc strokes my hair while my head is down.

But... The sore comes right back when the tip of the scope enters. It hurts just as bad as it did when I was on my back. It’s like being physically open isn’t even helping.

Again, I gasp out. “O-ow...” I whimper.

Marc knits his eyebrow, moving his massage to my shoulder. “Ow?” he questions, confusion in his voice.

I think Sable is concerned now too. “It still hurts, Jesse?” he asks worriedly.

I breathe out shakily. “Y-yeah... Like before,” I tell him.

Sable breathes out in thought. “Okay... Alright,” he says. “I’m going to try one more time. I want you to push like you really are having a baby. If it hurts, I’ll stop. I promise. Alright?”

I nod once, taking hold of Marc’s hand as he takes it into his. “Alright,” I breathe.

“Okay. One, two, three. Push.”

As instructed, I push. And as I push with all of my strength, enough to deliver a baby, I grit my teeth and I squeeze the living heck out of Marc’s hand. At the same time, Sable pushes in with the anoscope. It enters no more than it did before... And again, it hurts. It feels like something is going to tear if it goes any further.

I let Sable know with another meek, “ow... Ow...”

As promised, Sable gives up. Rubbing my back gently, he places the anoscope aside for the moment. “I’m so sorry, Jesse,” he says gently. “I’m not sure why it’s causing you so much pain. It shouldn’t; I promise I didn’t lie to you. Here... Stay in that position for me. Can I just... Put another finger in your bum, Jesse? I’ll be very gentle; I just want to figure out why you feel like it isn’t going to fit.”

I take in another shaking breath. “O-okay,” I answer.

With that, Sable lubes up his finger again. Puts even more lubricant around my butthole to make sure it really is slippery enough. And carefully, he inserts his finger inside of me. Similarly to before... It slides in, but... It feels rather big. There’s a lot of pressure inside. And... Sable doesn’t have very big fingers. Still, it’s like... Any bigger, and it might not fit. That, and after the forceful stretching from before, it feels raw.

Sable winces. “Are you sure you’re not squeezing your sphincter around me, Jesse?” he asks quietly, in a voice that sounds like he’s trying to keep from embarrassing me with the question.

I nod, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “I-I’m sure,” I insist. I know I’m not; my butt muscles and my sphincter are forced to relax in this position. I don’t think I could squeeze him very easily if I tried.

“Hm... Okay. You’re very tight, even like this,” Sable mutters. “You... Don’t have any trouble pooping because it’s too tight, do you, Jesse?”

I take a deep breath, shaking my head. “N-no... No, it’s okay,” I say. “I can go to the bathroom fine.”

Sable withdraws his finger once again, and uses a tissue to wipe the lube from my butt. “Alright. That’s good to hear. It sounds to me like the thermometer fit inside too, which is great. Your sphincter’s just... Smaller than normal. Just the way you’re built,” he says. “You can sit normally for a second, Jesse. Marc and I are just going to figure out what we need to do to screen your rectum, okay?”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice. As soon as I’ve been wiped up, I turn back over and sit with my knees tucked into my chest. Just try to recover a bit.

Sable takes off his gloves as he and Marc head over to the counter. They’re talking quietly to each other, but I can still kind of hear it. I rest my head on my knees with my head turned to the side, trying to keep from paying attention. It’s making me kind of nervous.

“Poor guy,” Marc says, writing something else into my file. “Wish we didn’t have to do this to him if it’s going to cause him this much pain.”

Sable sighs. “I know. I don’t want to do it to him either. I didn’t realize how tight his sphincter was going to be,” he says. He shakes his head. “But he needs an anoscopy. He’s going to be forty-one soon, and... It’s unfortunately well past the age of needing anorectal screening.”

The two of them are silent while they think of something they can do.

Eventually, Marc taps his pen against the notebook in thought. “Is there... Anything smaller than an anoscope?” he asks. “Something that’ll let us take a look inside but isn’t that big?”

Sable bites his lip. I can tell he knows something, it’s just... Going to be tough. He thinks for a minute, but then he says it.

“Colonoscope,” is the only word he says, and my stomach drops. Hard.

Marc nods slowly. “Hm. You’re right, unfortunately,” he says. “It’s drastic. We’d have to drug him pretty good, and he’d have to have Hannah come pick him up. He’d be spending the rest of the day sleepy and cramped up. But... We would be able to see his rectum. Have a look at the rest of his colon while we’re inside. He’d be nice and relaxed. Wouldn’t feel any pain.” He shakes his head. “I know it would be rough, but... If we have to do it to make sure he’s healthy.”

Sable looks back at me, and I look up at him from my trance. “Jesse. Hannah would be able to pick you up if she had to, right?” he asks.

I swallow hard. But I nod. If I gave her a call and let her know I had to have an emergency colonoscopy, she’d be willing to come get me.

Sable nods, and the two of them are quiet to think again. I can tell he doesn’t want to do it to me... He’ll think of something else so that won’t be the first choice.

He does, thank goodness.

“Tell you what,” he says. “I just thought of something. It isn’t pleasant either, but we won’t have to drug Jesse right off the bat. We’ll book an emergency colonoscopy room for an hour from now. Just so we have it in case this doesn’t end up working. But... In the prep room, there are anal dilators. We can have Jesse just lie down and relax for a little bit in a comfortable position... Just try to ease him into having his anus stretched until it doesn’t hurt anymore.” He holds up his hands. “Again, not pleasant, I know. But... If we can get the poor thing out of a colonoscopy.”

Marc purses his lips, nodding softly. “Yeah... Yeah, that does seem like the better option. Lot less cramping and drowsiness too,” he says. He then pats Sable on the arm. “I’ll go ahead and get everything we need. Make sure we’ll have an empty room if we need one.” He then looks to me with a sad grin. “I’ll be right back, Jesse. Won’t be gone long, I promise.”

When he’s gone, Sable finishes writing down something into the file, then comes over to the table where I’m still sitting curled up, smiling sadly. “Are you okay?” he asks gently, stroking my hair and the back of my neck gently.

I sigh, trying to smile as I uncurl myself, sitting cross-legged on the table, relishing in how good the massage is against the back of my head. “I’m okay,” I insist.

Sable frowns, patting my shoulder. “Poor thing. I’m sure you heard what we said,” he tells me. “Sure it makes you nervous.”

Breathing out, I nod. “It does... It makes me a little nervous,” I admit.

“That’s okay. I know. You didn’t come in today for a colonoscopy,” Sable says gently. “Well, as we said, we’re not gonna to have that be our first means of dealing with this. That’s just a last resort. We’ll make sure you’re nice and comfortable, and you won’t feel any pain. Make sure you get home nice and safe.” He goes back to stroking my hair. “But that’s just if we can’t get the anoscope inside. We’re going to try to do that first. And we’re going to do that very gently with what we call anal dilators.” He shakes his head softly. “Again, nothing to be scared of. No need to be scared. They’re these plastic rods... Not very long at all. They don’t have a need to go in much further than two to three inches inside of your rectum since their purpose is just to expand your anus a little bit. They’re mostly used to either make medical procedures like this one a bit more comfortable, or if a man’s anus closes up a little too much after a surgery, it’s used to help open him up a little bit so he doesn’t have a hard time pooping.” He looks into my eyes comfortingly. “Are you with me?”

I nod. I follow him. It sounds intimidating, but I know that he’s not done explaining. I’ve nothing to be afraid of yet.

“Good,” Sable says gently. “What we’ll have you do is lie down on your back, and draw your legs up to your chest, if that’s comfortable for you. And these dilators start small... And get a little bit bigger in size. What we’re going to do is start with one that’s just a little bigger than the width of my finger, and we’ll work up to the size of the anoscope. Each dilator will sit inside of you for about thirty seconds to give you a little bit of a stretch before we size up. It should be very painless because we’ll do it nice and gradually.” He smiles sadly again, placing both hands on either of my shoulders. “Alright? You trust Marc and I, don’t you? We’re not going to let anything bad happen to you.”

Again, I try to smile. I know I probably look very nervous, but I do try. “I trust you,” I tell him, my voice nothing but a squeak.

For a little longer, the two of us talk about other things. Things that are unrelated to take my mind off of the appointment and the possible colonoscopy. He asks me about any movies that I’ll be acting in within the near future. I am; I'm gonna be in a Western movie in the near future. My name usually appears in those kinds of movies. Likewise, I ask him if he has any solos for the next figure skating showcase; I know there’s a summer one coming up, and he’s a pretty prominent part of the team.

It isn’t long before Marc returns. Maybe less than ten minutes. With him, he has a black case… And I think I know what’s in it. I try not to let it make me nervous. Not yet.

“Hey Jesse,” Marc says gently with a soft grin. “You still okay?”

I try to grin as he comes over and gives my hair a stroke, down the back of my neck and to my shoulder. “Yeah… Yeah, I-I think I’m okay,” I insist.

He nods once. “Good. Glad you’re okay. I know that this is probably a little unnerving… A little embarrassing,” he says.

I nod, looking down at my lap as I breathe out. “Yeah, just… Just a little nervous,” I admit.

Marc pats my back, frowning. “I know. I’m sorry, my man,” he says.

Again, I try to smile, though, I’m sure it looks a little uneven. “It’s okay,” I reassure him. “It’s not your fault.”

He nods gently. “It’s alright. Sable and I are gonna take care of you. Make sure everything gets done comfortably,” he reassures me, placing the case on the tray near the bed.

Sable places a hand on his shoulder. “What’s the status of the suite?” he asks.

Marc nods once in affirmation. “Booked for an hour from now,” he says. “So even if we can’t loosen him up, we’ll have plenty of time to prep him. Get him all nice and sleepy and relaxed.”

Sable nods once. “Perfect,” he says, rubbing my shoulder. “Can we have you lie down, Jesse? Just on your back.”

I do. I lie down flat on my back with my knees propped up for the moment. While I’m doing that, Sable and Marc each put on a pair of the white, latex gloves. Both of them this time, which makes me feel nervous again.

Though, I relax a little more when Marc turns to Sable. “Here, d’you want me to do it?” he asks. He then smirks. “I know you’ve harassed poor Jesse quite a bit today. Just want to make sure he doesn’t hate you by the end of the appointment.”

God, I love Marc. Just the way he knows how to take someone’s mind off of things when it’s real stressful. I can’t help but laugh.

Sable laughs softly. “Sure,” he responds. “Go ahead; I’ll assist.”

Marc begins softly by touching my knee. “Alright, Jesse. Let’s go ahead and get started with the procedure here. Keep in mind, Sable and I don’t want you to worry about the colonoscopy just yet. We’re pretty sure this’ll solve it, so I don’t want you to panic just yet. Even if it doesn’t end up taking care of it, the colonoscopy still isn’t anything we need to panic over. Okay?”

I nod once. “Okay,” I answer.

He nods once. “Good,” he says, giving my knee a tap. “Let’s just start with pulling your knees up to your chest. Keep those knees apart, though; we want to be able to see your anus still.”

As he asked, I pull my knees up to my chest. Hold them apart by hooking my arms underneath so that they’re still spread out and easy to see between. Again, Sable covers my knees with the blanket, just to return to me that privacy that’s being removed by being in a vulnerable position.

Marc sits down on the stool, and I hear the cap of the lubricant again. “I’m going to touch you, Jesse. It’s just my finger,” he explains as he lubes himself up. “I’ve got fingers that are a little bit bigger than Sable’s, so I think that’ll be an okay place to start.”

The next thing I feel down there is that cold jelly again. Then just the sensation of Marc pressing against me.

“Take a real big deep breath, Jesse,” he tells me.

I breathe in really deep, as he asked. And on the way out, Marc inserts his finger inside of me. He was honest before; his fingers are a little bigger than Sable’s. It doesn’t hurt... Doesn’t hurt. Just more pressure than when Sable gave me my prostate exam.

“Good. See? Didn’t even notice,” Marc says gently. “Just gonna do another quick, quick rectal exam of my own while I’m inside...” The pressure gets a little more intense while he does. I feel that electric shock when he prods a little bit at my prostate, and I gasp under my breath, trying to keep from knitting my eyebrows and seeming uncomfortable. My penis gets rock hard against my stomach again.

“Alright, alright. Seems like everything’s healthy. I don’t think I caught anything that Sable didn’t,” he says. “And I’m just going to hang out here for about thirty seconds.”

And with that, he just sits for a minute. Allows me to just get used to the stretch for a little bit.

While he’s doing it, Sable strokes my hair again. Just watching my expression to make sure I’m not in any pain. “Are you okay, Jesse?” he asks.

I breathe out, used to the pressure in my butt in a strange way, almost. “I’m okay,” I say.

He uses gentle nails against my scalp to make me feel good. “Good.”

Marc peers up from between my legs for a moment to grin at me. “You’re doing good, Jesse, my man,” he reassures me. “I know this is rough.”

For a bit, while I’m relaxing into Marc’s finger, I just talk to the two of them. Take my mind off of it. And it works well enough. I can ignore the discomfort... Ignore the position I’m in currently.

Then Marc gently slides his finger out of my rectum and changes out his dirtied glove for a clean one. “Alright. I’m going to start with the first dilator. Something just a little bit bigger than my finger here... Maybe a little bigger than the thermometer probe,” he explains. He then peers over to the dilators on the tray. “Hm... Lube me seven millimeters, Sable, if you would, please.”

As asked, Sable lubes up one of the plastic dilators, then hands it to Marc. Marc, as Sable had done with the anoscope before, holds it up and allows for me to see it. “This is what it looks like, Jesse,” he explains. “It’s just a solid, plastic rod. Nice and smooth, so it’ll be very gentle. I’m going to slide each one into you nice and careful, and it’ll sit and stretch your anus for about a minute. Your one job is going to be to relax, just like before. It’ll feel a little bit sore and awkward when the new size is put inside of you, but it’ll go away once you’re used to it. Okay?”

I take a deep breath. “O-okay,” I answer.

“Very good,” Marc says gently. “Now, again. If it doesn’t hurt, push like you’re going to the bathroom. Take a nice deep breath...”

I do. Knowing this isn’t going to feel too comfortable, I mentally prepare myself. Breathe in very deep.

Next thing I feel is a deep pressure. Much more pressure than Marc’s finger, but not the pain that I got from the anoscope. I suck in another breath, trying to ignore the discomfort. It’s different... Rigid. Not as soft as Sable and Marc’s fingers. I can feel it in my sphincter.

But I just have to try to relax. Relax as much as I possibly can, even if it’s uncomfortable. Tensing up and trying to push it out will just make it hurt like before.

I feel myself breathing a little hard... A little more anxiously than I probably should be. Sable picks up on it, I think.

He peers down at me, patting my shoulder with his clean hand. “Are you alright?” he asks.

I breathe out through tight lips. “I... I think so,” I say.

Sable grins gently. “Good,” he says. “You’re doing a really great job, Jesse. I know this isn’t easy, and I know it probably doesn’t feel very good. But you’re really tough; you’re taking this like a champ.”

Marc nods, and I think he’s grinning too. “Keep breathing, Jesse,” he says. “I know it’s hard, but you’re doing an awesome job with the relaxing.”

For just a little bit, the three of us just chat. Keep my mind off of things. Allows me to ignore the soreness until I can barely feel it at all.

Then Marc nods to himself gently. “Alright... We’re probably good here with this size,” he explains. “Now, Jesse. I’m going to take this out. As I do, I want you to stay absolutely relaxed. Just as you are right now. I do not want you to squeeze your sphincter. If you squeeze, it might coax you into tightening back up, and that’ll set you back. So just... Stay relaxed. Focus on your breathing, alright?”

I breathe out through tight lips. “Alright.”

“Okay. And I’m coming on out nice and easy here...”

The next thing I feel is Marc removing the dilator from my rectum. It’s very tempting to squeeze it out. But I stay relaxed as best as I can. Keep from squeezing. Just let it slide out at its own will. Focus on breathing...

And before I know it, it’s out.

“That’s it. Doing good, Jesse,” Marc says softly. He hands the dirty dilator to Sable to put in a sanitation bin. Looks at the case one more time. “I’ll have you lube nine for me, Sable, please.”

It’s mostly just that for a bit. Lie on my back with my legs up. Talk to Sable and Marc while they do the procedure. It... It isn’t so bad, I suppose. When the next size up is put inside of me, it’s undoubtedly sore. There’s a bit of a bigger stretch than the last time. Makes me wince for the first little bit... Then as I’m supposed to, I find myself getting used to it. Able to relax with it. Focus on the conversation with Sable and Marc.

When he’s got the thirteen-millimeter dilator inside of me, I breathe out heavily and squeeze my eyes shut when it’s inside... It’s a bit thick. Jeez... This one’s a little rougher to stomach because it’s significantly bigger. But I just try to breathe through it. Keep my eyes closed. Try to focus on what Sable and Marc are talking about.

When he sees I’m having a little bit of trouble, Marc frowns. Rubs my knee gently. “You okay?” he asks.

I breathe out tightly again. Swallow hard. “Yeah,” is all I can manage.

“Good. Keep relaxing,” Marc says gently. He then chuckles softly. “My God, Jesse. I’m so sorry. You came in for a physical. I know you didn’t expect you’d be spending your morning with a series of plastic dildos in your butt.”

Of course something like that comes out of Marc’s mouth. I can’t help but let out a breathy laugh.

When he takes that one out, Marc pats my leg gently. “Alright. I’m going to have you get back into that knee-chest position for the last couple of dilators, Jesse,” he says gently. “It’ll help you take them a little bit better.”

While Sable lubes up the next size 一 fifteen millimeters 一 Marc helps me get into position: on all fours with my chest now... Butt up.

“That’s it. There you go,” Marc says gently as he covers me up with the blanket again. “Knees wide apart, arch your back a little bit... That’s it. That’ll help you a lot, too.”

I do just that. Keep my knees open wide and keep a nice dip in my spine.

I then just try to relax when Marc says softly, “Just relax, Jesse. This is still going to be a little tender, kind of like the last one.”

And he wasn’t lying... It is tender. The stretch causes discomfort... Thank goodness for the lube, or it might actually hurt like before. I have to remind myself to keep breathing evenly so it doesn’t end up hurting. Being in this position helps a bit as well... Like it was supposed to before, it prematurely opens my anus.

Hopefully, this’ll allow for me to take the anoscope a little better.

And all I have to do is stay calm and breathe deeply. Talk to Marc and Sable through the discomfort as best as I can. Marc takes out the dilator, and puts the last one inside of me 一 fifteen millimeters.

“I know it’s starting to get uncomfortable,” Sable says gently, stroking my hair. “But you’re doing really well. You’re almost done, Jesse.”

I breathe out, my eyes welling up a little because the sphincter is burning a little bit. “Th... Thank you,” I whimper. I make sure I keep my face turned to the side... Makes it a little easier to breathe.

I try to focus on the conversation for the next little bit. Keep my mind off of the pain. And it works well enough.

Until I hear the plastic of a new, clean anoscope being opened up. I feel myself getting a little nervous again, but I try my absolute hardest not to squeeze back up. That’ll just make it rougher.

“Okay, Jesse. I think you’ll be good to take the anoscope now,” Marc tells me gently as he removes the dilator from my rectum. “It’ll be okay, my man. Just try to stay relaxed. You’re almost done... Just this one more thing and you’ll be all done. I’m gonna let Sable take over again now, okay?”

“O-okay,” I answer, voice a little more pinched.

With that, Sable stands behind me with the anoscope lubed and ready. Marc applies a little bit more lube to my anus for him to work with.

“Alright, Jesse. You know what to do,” Sable says softly. “Just stay relaxed. You’re doing such a good job with the relaxing. It’s going to be a little bit sore...”

And with that... Sable places the anoscope at the opening of my rectum. Unlike last time... It slides in. It actually does fit inside of my rectum, all the way in. The dilators worked.

Unfortunately, it’s still a bit of a tight fit. It’s sore... I can handle it, but it’s very sore. I just close my eyes. Breathe. Try to handle it for as long as I can. Hold on tight to Marc’s hand for comfort, focus on him stroking my hair.

“That’s it! See, I knew you could do it,” Sable praises me. “Keep taking those deep breaths. I’m going to open you up now, Jesse. You’re going to feel a little bit of pressure while I take the obturator...”

He’s right. There’s a deep pressure inside of my rectum as he pops out the plastic obturator. It doesn’t last long though... Doesn’t overpower the uncomfortable stretch in my anus. I take a nice, big deep breath to try to help it.

“Good, good. Good boy,” Sable says gently. “I know it isn’t comfortable, but you’re a champ. Now, let’s just have a little look down the scope here...”

I breathe. I just try to breathe nice and deeply, even though it’s hard. In the midst of the exam, I find myself squeezing my eyes shut. And it manages to squeeze out a couple of tears... It’s just uncomfortable. It’s making me tear up quick. They build up until it blurs my vision, then when there’s enough of them, they fall when I either blink or open my eyes after squeezing my eyes shut. They either run down my nose or the side of my cheek... Falls onto the thin paper of the exam table, leaving a little stain. I can’t speak because I’m a little choked up, but I try to focus on Marc and Sable’s conversation. Allow Marc to stroke my hair gently.

My bum hurts...

Every so often, there’s a little bit of a pinchy pull as Sable pulls out a little bit. Has the full look at my rectal cavity. Just lets me know very softly what’s going on. “Everything’s looking good so far, Jesse. Pink and smooth and healthy,” he tells me. “Keep relaxing. You’re going to feel some discomfort while I take a sample of your rectal mucosa... Might feel a little bit like a pinch or a scratch...”

I hear Marc opening a paper packet... Next thing I feel is something long entering the scope. I can’t help but whimper as there’s a harsh scratch somewhere deep inside my rectum. I know it’s just a cotton swab, but it feels a lot harder than one.

He’s being as gentle as he possibly can, I know he is. It’s just rough and uncomfortable.

Just have to hang on... A little longer...

Before I know it, in the midst of the tears and trying to relax, I hear Sable talk softly to me. “Very, very good, Jesse. You’ve done so, so good and you should be proud,” he says. “Everything looks good. I don’t see anything we need to be worried about. So... I’m going to come on out. Just relax, alright? It’ll feel a little bit sore while your sphincter closes up.”

The next thing I feel is the recession of the scope. I was hoping it’d give me a little bit of relief, but I don’t think I’ll get so lucky. As Sable warned, it does feel sore. My sphincter has been spread so much more than it’s used to that it’s in a state of shock. It still hurts a little bit.

“Good! See? It’s all over now,” Sable says, very gently wiping my butt with a tissue as not to harass the irritation going on. “Now, since we stretched you out a little more than you’re used to, you might experience a little bit of a tear in your anus the next time you poop. It shouldn’t be any more than a little bit of blood on the toilet paper. If it’s any more than that, give me a call and I’ll have a look. You might have a tear that needs some actual tending to.”

“Okay,” I answer, finding my voice to be a bit nasally.

Marc pats my back. “You’re all done, Jesse,” he says gently. “Let’s get you up.”

Both of them help me off of my knees, and sit normally on the table. The blood comes back to my head, but my butt hurts to sit on a little bit. I sniffle, wiping the tears from my eyes and off of my nose bridge.

Seeing me crying lightly, Sable frowns. “Ohh, my, Jesse!” he says softly. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?”

I laugh softly through the tears. “Yeah, I’m okay,” I insist. “My bum just feels a little sore.”

Marc frowns, giving my shoulder a comforting roughing-up. “Aww, we’re sorry, dude,” he says gently, handing me a few tissues. “I know that probably really sucked, but... You took it like a champ. Now we know you’re healthy. I’m sorry, Jesse.”

Accepting the tissues, I wipe my eyes with them, grinning softly. “Ahh, it’s okay,” I insist. “So long as we know I’m healthy. It wasn’t so bad. Just a little uncomfortable to sit.”

Marc smiles, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and wiping one of my tears with a thumb. “You really are a champion, huh?” he chuckles. “So tough. Such a good patient.”

Sable grins sadly. “Well, if you ask me, you’ve been through enough for today, Jesse,” he says. “Here. We won’t make you give us a urine sample in the office today. We’ll give you a cup to pee in at home and turn into the hospital whenever you’re able. You’re good to go for today. No colonoscopy. No shots today or anything. You’ve served your time.”

I nod once. “Thank you,” I say. “I appreciate the break.”

Sable grins. “Of course,” he says. “We’ll give you some Tylenol to help with the pain in your anus. No worries; not a suppository. You’ve had enough done to that delicate muscle today. Just a pill that you can swallow down, and it’ll work within a little bit of time. We don’t want it to hurt to sit much longer than it needs to.”

Marc pats my shoulder. “Here, dude. Do you want a drink or something to take that medicine with?” he says. “Anything you want at all. We can get it from the Dunks or something if we have to. You deserve it.”

I grin. “How ‘bout a Mello Yello, if you don’t mind.”

Marc nods once. “No problem, Jesse,” he says.

Sable chuckles gently. “Alright. I’ll get you the sample cup to urinate in. Make a copy of your checkup today,” he says. “Marc, you run to get him that medicine, then to the cafe and grab Jesse that drink.” He then grins at me. “Go ahead and get dressed, Jesse.”

With that, the two of them head out of the exam room to give me some privacy and some alone time. I wipe the last of my tears with the tissues I have.

Then I breathe it all off. It’s all over now. I made it.

Hopping off the exam table, I take off my gown. Throw it and the blanket Sable and Marc used to cover me up into the laundry bin in the corner of the room. Leaves me naked again. But alas, it’s okay. I’m able to put my clothes back on, so it’s not that bad this time. I put my underwear back on, first and foremost, which is probably the most comforting thing ever. I never thought putting underwear on could feel so good. Then I quickly put my sweatpants back on. Tank top, then my t-shirt over it. Slide my sneakers back on.

Then with that, I breathe out deeply and calmly. Sit back on the exam table 一 wincing just a little bit 一 and take my phone back out. Send Hannah a quick text.

Jesse Mercer: Exam’s done. Clean bill of health.

Hannah ღ: Good boy! I’m glad, honey. Knew you’d make it through.

I just smile to myself. Go back to scrolling LockBox for the next little bit. I’ve got a while to myself.

Within time, both Sable and Marc come back into the exam room. Sable has a sheet of paper with him, and a white paper bag. Marc, of course, has a bottle of Mello Yello, and a little paper cup with a round, red pill in it.

“Here y’are, Jesse. Before you do anything else,” Marc says with a smile.

I accept the drink and the cup, smiling as well. “Thank you so much,” I answer as he pats my shoulder.

I pop the pill into my mouth, and swallow it down nice and easily with a big drink of Mello Yello. The citrusy flavor and the bubbles makes me feel so refreshed.

“Good. That’ll kick in and help you feel better in no time,” Marc reassures me.

Sable then hands me the sheet of paper, which looks like the forms for my checkup. “Here you are, Jesse. Just a patient report for your physical exam. It includes your blood test results, and everything checks out just fine,” he explains. He then opens the paper bag, and he pulls out a plastic cup with a blue cup. There’s a label on the side that has my name on it in sharpie marker: Mercer, Jesse.

“And this here is the cup I’m going to have you take home in it,” he says. “If it’s possible, I’d like the first pee of the day, Jesse. Just take this cup into the bathroom. Sit down on the toilet and relax. I gave you a couple of alcohol wipes in here to clean up with; just make sure you’re wiping off the head of your penis with circular motions away from your urethra, alright?” He grins gently. “Then when you’re feeling it... Go ahead and pee. I’ll have you pee into the toilet a little bit, then finish in the cup. As much as you can. Then you’re good to bring it into the urology office; just bring this bag up to the desk with your sample in it. Let them know it was requested by me at your appointment today, and they’ll have Marc or whoever come pick it up. Sound good, Jesse?”

I nod once, smiling. “Sounds good. Thank you, Sable,” I say.

Sable chuckles gently, giving me a pat on the shoulder. “Alrighty. Well, you’re good to go, Jesse. Have a great rest of your day, alright? You’ve been a good patient,” he says.

Marc ruffles my hair and gives me a nudge on the shoulder. “Good seeing you, buddy. Hope we’ll be able to hang soon, it’s been too long,” he says.

I chuckle softly.

With that, I give both of them a good hug, wishing them well, and then I head out of the hospital. Take a few sips of my Mello Yello. And on my walk down the street to the train station, trying not to pay attention to my sore bum, I decide I could use a little bit of some self-care. Grab some coffee and a late breakfast after all of that. See is Hannah will come, and maybe some of our other friends.

I deserve a bit of a break.