Braxton tossed and turned. He was dreaming about Marissa. He heard her calling to him, but he could not get to her. Something - or someone - was preventing him from reaching her. He woke up in a sweat and looked at the clock. 4:17 am. He lay awake thinking about what he had dreamt. He couldn't help but feel that his dreams were trying to tell him something, but what? Perhaps he should ask his therapist, but if he did, he risked Brayden being disappointed in him. He had been doing so well in getting over Marissa. Or so he thought.

--------------------------------------

The same night, Marissa dreamed about Braxton. In her dream, she was close to finding him. She knew he was there, but he was just outside of her sight. She called out to him over and over, but he didn't answer. Then Kezia appeared, telling her that she was not a quack, that Marissa really would see Braxton again and to never give up hope.

She woke up. Looking over at the clock on her bedside table, she saw it was 4:17 am. Too early to get up. She got out of bed and went to her closet, taking her red dress back to bed with her. She clung to it while she cried herself back to sleep.

--------------------------------------

A couple days later, Rex Avery, the FBI agent, arrived in Edson. Marissa met him at the RCMP detachment to give him her statement. As Owen had done, Rex recorded it for later transcription. She went through everything again, hoping it would be the last time she would have to do this, but fearing it wasn't. When she was finished, he asked her some questions, then she had a couple for him.

“Agent Avery, what is going to happen to me?” she asked with trepidation.

“If everything checks out with what you told me - and I expect it will - we can make a deal with you.”

“What kind of a deal?” Marissa wasn't sure she was going to like this.

“We can give you immunity from prosecution in exchange for your testimony.”

This is what she'd been afraid of. “I don't think I could testify against them. They will find me or my family.”

“We can put you and your family into the witness protection program, Marissa.”

“What is that?”

“We would relocate you, give you a new identity, and help you with getting back on your feet. We can do this for you and your family members.”

“Oh, my family would not leave the farm. It's been passed down a few generations.”

“It's not compulsory, it is completely voluntary. But if you go into WITSEC and they don't, you can never contact them or anyone else from your past life again.”

“Would they know what had happened to me or would I just disappear?” She did not want to disappear without a trace again. That would be too hard on her loved ones.

“They would know you went into the program, but that is all. Look, we can keep you safe this way but if you are in prison, we can't. These Cartels have a way of getting to prisoners. And you can leave the program any time, if you want - though it would not be wise. Nobody in the program who has followed the rules has been harmed, but some who left or made a visit to their previous home have been killed. Please think about it and talk it over with your family. In the meantime, I will get this statement transcribed right now so that you can sign it. You can go for coffee or shopping if you want while you wait.”

When she went back to sign the printed out statement, Marissa asked about going to Montana for the medical tests. “Let me look into that”, Agent Avery said. “I don't think there would be a problem. You haven't been charged with anything and you aren't barred from entering the United States. Just be sure to use your real name and identification. Which reminds me - where is your other ID?”

“Some of it is at home in my suitcase. I was going to bring it, but I forgot.”

“You said 'some'. What about the rest?”

“The Cartel took it. They always took the old set when they assigned me new aliases. When I went to New York from Denver, I was in a limo with my supervisor and the alias identification was in my suitcase. He told me to destroy them, but for some reason, I didn't. I didn't use them, though.”

“Do you have the ones from Seattle?”

“Just the one I was using on my last run, when I found the drugs in my luggage and I didn't go back to my apartment.”

“We will need those. Can I come out to your farm to get them? I don't want to trouble you to come back here.”

“Sure.”

“I'll come by tomorrow before I head to the airport in Edmonton.”

That night, after the youngsters were in bed, Marissa discussed it with her family. “I think I can speak for your mother”, Gael said when she had told them of her conversation with Detective Avery, “when I say that we will stay here and deal with whatever comes our way.”

“Absolutely”, Irene agreed. “This farm has been in your father's family for a few generations and we will stand our ground.”

Gael continued “But you may need to go into this witness protection program, Rissa.”

Marissa was aghast at the thought of leaving her family again. “No, Daddy! If you stay, I am staying, too!”

“You might have to go, honey.” Gael didn't like the idea any more than Marissa did, but her safety was of utmost importance. He would rather she have to leave them again, but be safe, than to stay and be killed by the Cartel.

“Daddy, I left once and that was bad enough. I won't do it again.”

“That wasn't your choice, Marissa”, Irene said. “You were taken from us. Do you have to make a decision now?”

“No, they are going to check my story out. I don't know what is next but I imagine I will hear from them.”

When Agent Avery came by to pick up the alias identification, he told Marissa that she would not have a problem getting into the USA. He also reassured her that the computer systems were secure and the fact that she had crossed back into the country would be confidential. “But since you used a false identity to come home to Canada, it's not likely that they know that you aren't in the US now, even if they have an informant at Customs or have hacked into the computers. I think you will be safe, but if you at any time fear for your safety, do not hesitate to call the police in Great Falls. You can give them my name and number and I will verify your story.”

Dr Maynard was happy to hear that Marissa was cleared to go to Montana to have the scans done. He made arrangements for them to be done over a two day period the next week.

Brent Evans came on Sunday to go for a ride with Marissa. Gael saddled her horses for her. Marissa couldn't mount the regular way, so her horses had been trained to lie down while she got in the saddle. Gael had put straps on the saddles to hold her crutches, so that she could dismount on her ride if she wanted to. They rode out into the woods. It was a sunny fall day, on the cool side but that was normal.

They rode to a clearing where they ground tied the horses. Brent took the saddle off the horse he was riding and lay the blanket on the ground for them to sit on. Irene had packed coffee and squares for them, which had been carried in a saddle bag. Marissa told Brent the story of what had happened to her as they had their snack. She finished with “Brent, I tried so hard to figure out a way out that didn't endanger my family, but all I could come up with was to let the cancer take me. If I died of natural causes, they wouldn't take it out on my family, but if I caused my own death, they probably would - Though now I've put my family in harm's way by coming home.”

Brent was aghast at what Marissa had been through. He was in medical school in Edmonton when she was born over two months early and not expected to survive. He had come home every weekend that she was in the neonatal intensive care unit to support Gael and Irene, who, understandably, were beside themselves with worry. Fortunately, Marissa fought hard to live, and was released from the NICU a few months later. However, she was not home free. Her appetite was low and she failed to thrive, ending up shorter and thinner than average. She did finally start eating more and put on a bit too much weight, but nobody bothered her about it because everyone was happy to see her eating. Obviously, she was not eating enough anymore as she had lost too many pounds, but she was going through so much, he didn't want to hassle her about it. Besides, knowing Irene, she was probably trying to entice her daughter to eat more.

“Oh, God, Marissa - I don't know what to say”, he said after she'd stopped talking. “That is just awful what you've been through. But, I know one thing - I'd bet that your parents would rather have you home than still involved with the Cartel, even if their lives are at risk because of it.”

“That's what they say, Brent. I still don't want them - or my siblings or the young foster children - to be in danger. My dad says they will deal with it.”

“And they will. I know you've probably been told this before, but you did the right thing, Marissa. You couldn't have stayed there any longer or you'd have continued to be part of the problem, not part of the solution.”

“What is the solution, Brent?” Marissa knew he was right about her being part of the problem. She'd buried her guilty feelings way down deep so that she could do her “job” without getting caught. But she didn't see how she was part of the solution.

“The solution is to eradicate the transportation of drugs across borders. You can do your part by testifying against the Cartel members.”

“I don't want to but I have to in order to not go to prison. They won't eradicate it, though - no matter how many people they arrest.”

“They have to try. I know it's scary, but you have lots of support here.”

“I am very grateful for that. But I wish I had support from one particular person.” She was trying to forget about Braxton, unsuccessfully.

“Who is that?”

“Braxton.” Marissa was embarrassed to admit this. Braxton didn't want to hear from her. Why was she still thinking about him?

“You can contact him now that you have gotten away from the Cartel. Why don't you?”

“Dr Maynard said he closed his practice and moved away. I tried calling a friend of his on the police force, but he wasn't in and they called him for me. He said that Braxton wants nothing to do with me.” Her eyes began to tear up at remembering her new friend's rejection.

Brent was puzzled. This didn't make sense. “That doesn't sound right, Marissa. The way you told it, it seems like he really cares for you.”

“I thought he did. But I can't blame him if he decided I wasn't worth the hassle. I *did* leave without telling him where I was going and in the letter I sent him, I said that I didn't wish it was goodbye but it has to be.”

“It still doesn't make sense for him to not want to hear from you. Is there any other way you can try to find him?”

“I looked online but couldn't find anything except his licence listing with the APA. That just lists his credentials, it doesn't say where he lives.”

“I'll see if I can think of something. There has to be a way to find him.”

-------------------------------------------

The next week, Gael and Irene drove Marissa to Great Falls for her tests, which were scheduled over two days, so they would be there three nights. They took out a hotel suite that had one bedroom and a room with a table and chairs, sofa and tv. Irene and Gael would sleep on the sofa bed, Marissa in the bedroom.

To her surprise, Dr Maynard was in the waiting room when she went for her first test the morning after they arrived in the city, an abdominal ultrasound. “Dr Maynard!” she exclaimed when she saw him. “What are you doing here?”

“Making sure my wayward patient shows up for her scans”, he replied, winking at her to show he was joking. “I had to come up and see you, Marissa. I wasn't going to let you go through these tests alone. Your parents are here, I see, but you can't have too much moral support.”

Marissa introduced her parents to Dr Maynard, then went to the Reception desk. After checking in, she sat down beside Gideon. “It was so nice of you to come, Dr Maynard. How have you been?”

“I have been fine, the question is how are *you*?” he asked, putting his arm around her.

Marissa sighed. “It's been quite the time lately”, she replied. “But I am very happy to be home with my family.”

“And Charlie.”

She laughed. “Yes, and Charlie.”

While Marissa was in having her ultrasound, Dr Maynard chatted with her parents. “It sounds like she has been through a lot”, he said to them.

“She has”, Gael replied. “More than anyone should go through. And there's more to come.”

“You mean with trials?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, she will have to testify. It's the only way to keep her out of prison - her testimony in exchange for immunity. It's not official, yet, but it's leaning that way.”

“I hate to pile on, but she has a medical ordeal ahead.”

“Exactly what is ahead?” Irene asked.

“I can tell you because Marissa has given consent for me to talk to you. At the very least, we are looking at surgery to remove either the whole kidney or just the tumour. At the worst, if it's spread, there will be chemotherapy and maybe radiation.”

“What are her chances, Dr Maynard?” Gael wanted to know.

“I cannot answer that until her test results are back. She had an excellent chance for being cured a year ago, but if the cancer has spread, that could change things.”

“Let's hope it hasn't spread.”

“Mr and Mrs Brennan, can I ask? Why is Marissa so short? Neither of you are. Are any of her grandparents?”

“Please call us Irene and Gael. No, her grandparents weren't short. Marissa was born over two months premature - actually, closer to three months. Her doctors have said that could be the cause. Considering how many problems preemies can have throughout their lives, Marissa could have fared a lot worse.”

“True, but that must have been hard on you.”

“It was”, Irene said. “She was in the NICU for months. When she was born, they told us to make funeral arrangements. They didn't expect her to survive.”

“But she's a fighter and she fought hard”, Gael broke in, “and with the help of the man above, she came home.”

Later, when Marissa was having another test, they picked up the conversation. “Dr Maynard”, Gael asked, “what do you know of Braxton Jagger?”

“What do you mean?”

“What kind of man is he?”

“I didn't know him well, but he struck me as a good man. He cared for Marissa a lot and was very upset when she left Denver.”

“You talked to him about that?”

“Just briefly. He called me to cancel her surgery. Apparently. she'd asked him to do so. Braxton was upset and extremely worried about her. Why are you asking?”

“Just watching out for my daughter. She misses him a lot.” Gael told Dr Maynard of Marissa calling Braxton's friend on the police force and of the message that was relayed back to her.

Gideon was shocked. “Something is off with that, Gael. I don't see Braxton saying he wants nothing to do with her. At the very least, he would want to know how she is doing, even if he didn't want ongoing contact with her - though I can't really see him not wanting that either. He cared about her too much.”

“Why do you think he left Denver?”

“I don't know. Perhaps he needed a change of scenery. Or maybe he needed a break from being a therapist and got a job somewhere else. He may have given up on hearing from Marissa and felt that she wasn't going to contact him again. But he certainly wouldn't refuse to talk to her. No way.”

Just then Marissa was wheeled into the waiting room. She was tired and finding it hard to walk. “I'm all done for today”, she announced. “And am I ever glad!”

“Will you join me for supper?” Dr Maynard asked. “I would love the company.”

“That's up to Marissa”, Gael responded. “Are you up to going out, Rissa?”

“Not really, Daddy. But you can join us at our suite for take out, Dr Maynard, if it's okay with my parents.”

“I'm fine with it”, Irene said. Gael nodded his consent.

At the hotel, they picked a restaurant and ordered for delivery. While they were waiting, they had drinks sent up from room service. The Brennans would normally not have chosen such a fancy suite, but they wanted to do something nice for Marissa since she'd been through so much and had so few enjoyable times in the last few years.

“Have you seen the results of the tests I had today?” Marissa asked Dr Maynard.

“No, I won't see them until the end of the day tomorrow”, he replied. “I wanted to look at them all together.”

The four of them had a pleasant dinner. Dr Maynard talked of his wife and daughter. “Oh you must miss them”, Marissa said.

“I do, but we video talk every day. They know that I'm here because I'm concerned about a very special patient.” Marissa blushed.

“Do you travel often for your job?” Irene asked.

“Not very. Once in a while. Usually, when a patient moves away, I transfer them to an oncologist in their new location, but with Marissa, I couldn't do that right away because of that three month waiting period to get health coverage up there. I didn't want her to wait three more months to get her surgery.”

“When will her surgery be?”

“I'm hoping for next week. It will have to be in Denver. Can you get her down there?”

“We will take her where-ever she has to go”, Gael replied.

“I'm glad that isn't a problem. She will need a place to stay as she will not be able to travel for a few weeks after the procedure.”

“Oh, that isn't an issue. We'll find a housekeeping unit for her. One of us will try to stay with her, but we may not be able to stay the whole time.”

“Do not worry about any of that, Mr and Mrs Brennan. I've talked it over with my wife and daughter and they are in agreement. Marissa can stay with us, we have plenty of room, so you both are welcome to stay or visit if you can't stay.”

“Oh, I can't impose on your family!” Marissa exclaimed.

“It's no imposition, dear. We would love to have you. You would be in good hands - my wife is a nurse - and I wouldn't be worrying about you recovering from major surgery all alone in an impersonal hotel suite. I insist.”

Marissa looked at her parents. “If my daughter is okay with that, then we are, too”, Gael said. “I had you checked out before we came down here. Please don't take offense, I did the same thing with Braxton. I don't want just any one operating on her.”

“I'm not offended at all. I have nothing to hide.”

“You checked out very well. Solid reputation and your patients like you. I am comfortable with you giving Marissa medical care and her staying at your home while she recovers”, Irene said.

“As long as you don't turn out like Braxton”, Gael interjected, then felt bad. “I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be bitter, but he hurt my baby and I don't like it when people do that.”

“I understand, Gael. I have a daughter myself. If anyone hurt her, I'd be out for blood. But please don't think the worst of Braxton. I'm sure there is a crossed wire somewhere along the line. Maybe his police friend - what did you say his name is? - misunderstood something Braxton said to him.”

Marissa felt it was time to speak up. “I don't want anyone thinking bad of Braxton”, she said, looking at her father and Dr Maynard. “He is one of the sweetest people I've met. He put up with my attitude and that says a lot. I hope it is just a matter of Logan misunderstanding something, but if it isn't and Braxton really doesn't want anything to do with me, I can't blame him after what I did to him.”

“You didn't...” Gael started to say but Marissa interrupted him.

“Yes, I did, Daddy. I left without telling him where I was going. I know the Cartel wouldn't let me, but he doesn't know about that so it's understandable if he got fed up with me.”

“He does know, baby.”

“What?” Marissa's eyes got wide.

“He knows about the Cartel, honey. His detective friend told him. Braxton had called him looking for advice and Logan told him about it and how they were close to making arrests when they left town. He didn't know for sure that you were involved with it, but he thought it was a reasonable possibility.”

“That explains it, then. He doesn't want anything to do with that. Or me.”

“Marissa, honey”, Irene said “Braxton cares about you too much to be like that. I'm sure he would be willing to hear your story and that he would understand. I don't for a minute think that he doesn't want anything to do with you.”

“At any rate, Mama, I can't find him and Logan isn't giving any information out. I need to move on.”

“Do you have any more pictures of you with that steer?” Dr Maynard asked, trying to change the subject.

“Don't get her talking about Charlie”, Gael told him. “You'll be here all night!” He winked at Marissa. “Those two have a very special bond.”

Marissa already had her phone out and was flipping through her pictures. “Here, Dr Maynard”, there's a few new ones.”

“To her, a few means a few hundred”, Gael said.

Marissa showed her oncologist pictures of Charlie, her horses and her siblings. She and her parents told him all about the family, and the farm that had been passed down to Gael from his father. He had grown up there, as had his father, grandfather and great-grandfather. They had a really fun chat around the table. For a while, she forgot all about her cancer - and Braxton.