We've been trying to have a baby for some time now and fortunately the endeavor has somehow become more erotic than mundane. We have heard of couples where sex has become a chore rather than a delight. Let me share our story, as kinky as it may sound. This is our baby-making routine. Please don't judge us.

We keep a calendar and as the time of ovulation nears, I start a daily morning task to chart Julie's basal body temperature. We bought a special thermometer that has an expanded scale. It looks a lot like a glass fever thermometer, but the diameter of the glass is larger, and a large bulge on the business end. During this time of the month, right when we wake up, I sit up in bed, Julie takes her place across my lap and I insert the lubricated thermometer into her bottom for five minutes. I love the way she wiggles about as I spread her cute little cheeks. I then pull it out, read the temperature and write it on the chart. It is lovely to start my morning staring at my wife's gorgeous backside and I always take time to compliment her and massage her back and thighs while we wait for the reading. We do this every morning until her temperature drops. Then we know she is ovulating. We wait until after work for the next part of the routine.

Julie will have gotten home before me. She has the enema bag and supplies out and ready. She always becomes constipated at the time of ovulation, and she loves me to give her an enema and I love giving them to her. I have her undress and wait for me in bed while I get things ready. We use a conventional enema bag (we bought a very nice silicone model) and a special black nozzle with a large bulbed head to help it stay in place. I give her two enemas. The first I fill the bag half way and put in a teaspoon of peppermint soap. I have her get in the knee-chest position and quickly inject as much as is comfortable for her, then have her hold it as long as possible. For the next enema, I use two quarts of plain water and put a towel under her. I have her lie on her left side, insert the nozzle gently, then introduce the water in small increments over a few minutes. When about a third of the bag is in her, I have her turn on her back with her knees up and very slowly introduce the rest of the water while rubbing her tummy in a counter-clockwise motion. She almost always takes the entire bag without complaint. If she can't take the whole bag, she insists I repeat the enema until she can.

When she is finished, I sit on the edge of the bed. Though I have taken off my sport coat, I am still dressed from work so I roll up my sleeves and have her straddle my left leg with her head on the bed and under my left arm. She is quite petite so her toes just touch the floor. She likes to be spanked a little and I am happy to oblige and she seems to enjoy grinding herself against my leg. I will spank a little, finger a little, back and forth until she is very wet. The spankings are firm, and sometimes given with the flat side of a hairbrush, but never mean or extremely painful. Then she likes me to insert a soft butt-plug into her bottom.

I have the plug ready along with some lubricant so she doesn't have to get up. The plug is fairly large, but is made from silicone. She chose the plug all by herself, and it is right at the limit of her comfort so it usually takes me a few minutes to work it in without hurting her. The inserting part drives her a bit crazy and I will feel her working her clitoris against my leg. Once the plug is seated, it usually takes just a bit more spanking and some careful fingering to bring her to orgasm. For some reason, this also makes her cry sometimes. She says it's an emotional thing. She has decided she likes to have an orgasm before I try to impregnate her. She says it makes her very relaxed and she wants to be able to focus on the moment we start a new life.

After her orgasm she becomes quite insistent that I am naked too. I stand while she undresses me. She insists that it is only fair that she put a butt plug in me. She purchased two that were identical so I bend over and allow her to plug me. She likes the sensation of the plug and the tightness it creates in her vagina. I like it too, and the ones we have do a nice job of stimulating my prostate. Then on her knees she will take my penis into her mouth and work me until I am about ready to orgasm. I let her know when I am getting close so as not to waste a baby-making ejaculation and as I have been abstaining for several days and I am very eager to take her.

She then takes her place on the bed. Some months she will take the "doggy position" and others the missionary position. In missionary she likes to wrap her legs around my waist and hold me in. Either way, I take her as deeply as possible and keep the head of my penis pressed tightly against her cervix as I unload into her. We will stay in position until my erection has subsided to the point where it will no longer stay inside of her.

The rest of the evening is a light dinner, kissing and cuddling in bed, and hopefully we have made ourselves a baby.