One of the most interesting and pleasurable things you can learn is the art of rectal examination. Most people stick in a finger, a dildo, a fist and let it go with that--but there is a tremendous fear/pleasure/pain/embarrassment surrounding the rectum and anus, and to capitalize on that, you need several things: 1. Some equipment. Probably the most used is a small vaginal speculum, sold in the various sex shops as an "ass spreader;" A good light is valuable, too, and if you can get your hands on a sigmoidoscope, you will really enjoy the rest of my suggestions. 2. Your partner's well-cleaned and lubed backside. I recommend that you do the rectal/colon exams AFTER at least a couple of enemas--make sure you have your partner empty herself out completely, or you will get an eyeful in more ways than one! If you prefer to examine her before the enemas, use your finger first to make sure the feces inside her are relatively solid. It's annoying to put your face right up to your partner's bottom and find she's about to have diarrhea, and you're looking into her through a hollow tube (or whatever; fill in the blank here). 3. An audience. This is not necessary, but rectal exams should have an element of embarrassment about them. The audience should therefore be composed of people that will bring that to your partner. In some cases, that would be women; in others, men.

The Procedure

This should be as "medical" as possible; costumes are nice here, and if you are giving the exam as a prelude to a series of enemas or a colonic, it's good to start her out fully dressed and then have her undress and put on her hospital gown (perhaps let her leave her panties on for the time being); or alternatively, you could leave her dressed (a short flared skirt is nice for this), pull up her dress and take her panties down to her knees after she's on the examining table (or whatever you're using)-- remember, you need to control the situation and make it a real "blushing time." Once again, there are three positions commonly used--the "dorsal lithotomy" position, where the woman lies on her back (if you have an exam table, she puts her feet in the stirrups, as for a pelvic exam) with her knees drawn up; the "Sims" position, in which she lies on her side with one leg relatively straight and the top leg drawn up to her abdomen; the "knee-chest" position, in which she is placed on her knees and elbows, with her backside jutting up into the air. The last position has definite advantages, but many physicians use the Sims' position to examine their patients (especially for colonoscopy). If you are using a sigmoidoscope, put her in the knee-chest position. Lubricate her both inside and out. The best way is to use first one finger, then two, with plenty of lubricant on them as you insert. Insert the fingers as deeply as you can (i. e., up to the knuckle) and rotate them clockwise or counterclockwise. You should feel the anal sphincters start to relax. Since the proctoscope (speculum, sigmoidoscope) is larger than two fingers, dilating the anus is an excellent idea. If she is lying on her side, grip the proctoscope in your "best" hand, lift her buttcheek to expose her anus, and begin to insert the 'scope. You should insert it roughly in the direction of her navel. Don't go to fast. It should take between 10 and 15 seconds (or more, depending on how she reacts) to insert the 'scope in her. Now you are ready to look inside. This is what is known as a "closeup." Do it. If you have used the speculum, now is the time to open it up. Remember not to force or hurry. The anus will dilate of itself as you exert gentle pressure. You don't want to have to explain yourself to an Emergency Room Dr. after tearing her anus or rectum--"Well, Doc, we were just playing this little game . . ." If she tells you to stop, do so unless you are SURE that she can take more "opening up." If you have anal intercourse with your partner, don't make her sore (i. e., don' make the exam too long). You'll spoil the fun for both of you. If you're using the sigmoidoscope (or other handy instrument, such as a shortened broom handle), there is a way to insert it between 10-12" into your partner. The doctors do this with a rigid sigmoidoscope all the time. Here's how (remember I said that the best position is knee-chest, but the side will work if you're careful.) When you insert the instrument into her rectum, you will feel it "bump" against the end of the rectum. This is where the rectum and colon connect. Ditto for inserting a rigid enema tube. However, if you are gentle, persistent and do just as I tell you, you can make your partner feel as if you're examining her tonsils from below. Be sure that you have plenty of lubricant, both inside and out. Once you reach the top of the rectum, stop a moment. Then push the instrument against her *RIGHT* buttcheek, as if you were trying to push the end that's inside her over to her left side. The colon goes to the left, and as you push to the right, and down toward her navel and *G E N T L Y* push in, the instrument will slide in several more inches. It is very important at this point to listen to your partner. The colon is pretty sturdy, but you can easily puncture it this way (rmember what I said about the Emergency Room Dr., above??), and a punctured or injured colon is no joke. The fecal matter enters your abdomen, and if it does, you will be VERY VERY VERY SICK. You may die. So be careful if you're going to do this. Having said what I just did, it's important to remember that doctors shove these long things more than a foot up your ass all the time, and rarely have an accident. You can do this without causing harm quite easily. Another note. If you are giving your girlfriend an enema, and you don't have a colon tube at the moment, use this same technique with the enema tube (remember, you're using the L O O O N G one). It will stop right at the top of the rectum. Inject a few ounces of water, and then proceed to insert the tube deeper by using the method I've detailed above--push to the right, up toward the tailbone, and IN (gently--I once made my girlfriend cry for about 10 minutes by being careless with this; remember the Dr. in the Emergency Room). The tube should slide right in. From there you can insert it up to as much as 18" (the hose is flexible), and get quite a good high colonic out of it.

The "Homemade" High Colonic

If you have ever been to a colon therapist you know that the apparatus they use injects about 5-10 gallons (That's right! Gallons!) of water over the course of the colonic (it's nice! Although they're not into the "scene;" at least they never will admit it), alternately injecting clear water and then drawing off a combination of feces and water. You can give/receive colonic irrigations at home (or in your hotel room, wherever) with some simple apparatus and my instructions (actually, you really need a partner for this--any of you ladies want help?). First, get a 5- gallon container of some kind; the best is a large plastic bucket, or galvanized pail. Then, you need two soft plastic hoses. The first should be about 1/4" inside diameter and the other 5/8" INSIDE (1/2" will do most of the time--but they tend to get clogged). You also need a couple of hemostats (scissors- type clamps), free access to a toilet (or another bucket for the water to flow into), and a good place to stand the bucket that's full--some 3-4 ft. above your partner's hips. You take the small plastic tubing and put it in the bucket (it floats--you'll have to weight it down) after filling the bucket with WARM water. Remember that 5 gallons of water is quite heavy. You'll need a sturdy table or stool. With the bucket full and the tubing in the bucket, begin a siphonage (use an ear syringe or basting syringe, or suck on it if you are using a new tube); the water will flow downhill unless it meets too much resistance. Once the flow is established, clamp the tube with one of the hemostats. Run the other tube to the toilet or into the second bucket (the second bucket must be LOWER than the first; the toilet will probably be low enough if your partner is on the bed or the floor. Now give your partner an enema, with a regular bag and hose, if you have not already done so. Make sure that she empties out the "big stuff" that might clog the outflow hose. Usually you can give the enema just before the colonic, and the colonic apparatus will carry off the extra enema water. If your partner is constipated (or hasn't gone to the bathroom in a couple days), it's best to give the enema first, and then prepare the colonic while she expels the enema. Now, place her on her side in the Sims' position to start (either). Lift her cheek and relubricate her, inside and out. Be sure to get the lubricant some distance inside. Insert the tube about 4-5 inches, and unclamp the hemostat just a bit. Don't let the water flow in too fast. It's not the pressure, it's how full the colon gets. Insert the tube another few inches, rotating it gently to get it past the top of the rectum and pushing gently in as the water slowly flows in. Clamp off the second tube. Insert it into the anus beside the first (people leak when you do this, so I recommend that they have a towel rubber sheet under them). After a bit of water has flowed in, clamp off the first clamp and then unclamp the second clamp. The Tubes tend to slide out, so watch it--the large tube should be about 4" inside and the small one as high as you can get it without discomfort or twisting. (this is why two people are necessary--there's just too much to do for one person, although it CAN be done. I know.) If you followed directions, you should be rewarded with a flow of brown water inside the large tube. You'll be able to see solids (watch for air bubbles, etc.) and so forth. At this point your partner needs to communicate with you. When she's relatively empty, begin to slowly fill her. Give the water until she's uncomfortable, then clamp the small hose and unclamp the large one. It will take some time for the water to flow down the colon and into the tube, so there may be a bit of cramping (but it's a lot less than with a good enema!). When the water stops flowing out for a minute or more, close the large tube and open the small one. Fill her with as much as she can take. Repeat opening the large tube and draining her. You will repeat this until the water comes away clear. If you have to go for a second bucket (?!!), be sure not to let the first one empty completely or you will lose your siphonage. Leave the tubes in if you have to refill the bucket (it's usually not necessary) and have your partner hold them in position. After about 20 minutes, the body becomes completely used to the in and outflow, and stops fighting. At that point, you will be able to fill your girlfriend much better, and she will drain off more easily. Colon therapists recommend a series of colonics, to get the accumulated material off the wall of the colon (I don't know if they are right in this, but I DO know that a series of either enemas or colonics really makes one feel better for some time). In any event, you can repeat this if you wish, but not more than a time or two a week (after say, an initial two-three day session). It's not particularly hard on the body, but you do slow the growth of the intestinal bacteria that you need. If you do this right, it can be quite an erotic experience, as your girlfriend must be totally passive and submissive. It is no doubt good (if your relationship involves that) to massage her sex organs throughout the colonic (don't get fecal matter on her!). She will be totally refreshed, and will have learned a new "angle" to the enema scene.