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Views: 2892 Created: 2019.10.06 Updated: 2019.10.16

A Visit To A New Doctor

Chapter Five, I Meet the Doctor.

A few minutes go by and there is a knock at the door. I think to myself that this will bring me the relief that my insides are hoping for. This is not the case. Instead, a curvy but stocky woman I have not yet met walks in with a clipboard. She is wearing business attire under a labcoat and as soon as I put the pieces together that I am meeting the doctor for the first time, she extends her right hand and says, “Good morning Richard, I am Dr. Frieda Kaplan”. She sees me in my present position and says, “Please don’t get up, I see you have been given the laxatives. Are you feeling OK, any belly pains from it?” I told her how I was feeling and she assured me it will be over as soon as Nurse Ramirez returns. I shook her hand politely and thanked her taking me on as a patient and for what she is about to undertake shortly. She is slightly humbled and explains how the practice was started by her grandfather in the 1950s and this is her way to give back to the community.

She asks a few questions including those that brought me here in the first place. She asked about my current doctor and why I didn’t have the procedure done with his practice. I went over it all while she peered at me over her glasses. She replies, “Richard, my practice is not as elaborate as the one you have come from. I cannot promise a totally comfortable experience with no memory of the procedure. You mentioned being sick from the drugs you received last time. I can’t assure you that will not happen under my care. I use anesthesia agents that can make patients sick but I use only enough to get you under for the time I need to perform the procedure, which most of my patients tolerate well. If you come to or exhibit extreme discomfort, I can administer a little more to minimize it. What I can offer you is a thorough exam and diagnosis that is no less comprehensive than your present doctor. Are you OK with that?” I said that I was and while the visit up to now has not been a picnic, I did not regret my decision. She pats me on the hand and agrees with me. She said she was impressed with comments from Nurse Ramirez that I have been a model patient up until now and I should have no problems getting through this. She assured me I will get the best care that they are able to provide.

Dr Kaplan looks down at my chart and says, “You came in with a slight temperature”. She puts the down the clipboard and motions toward the work station. “Let’s see if it has stabilized”. She takes the thermometer from the jar, shakes it down and dips it in Vaseline. She turns toward me and reaches for my underwear, pulling them down. She tells me to hold still as I feel the cool glass thermometer gently slide inside me. She asks if I feel like I have to go or if I feel a strong urge, she will take out the thermometer.

My insides are starting to rumble a bit more but again, nothing too urgent. I try and shift my weight a little relive some of the pressure and the thermometer slips out. Dr. Kaplan sees this and re-inserts the thermometer. “Please remember to hold still while your rectal temperature is being taken”, Dr. Kaplan reminds me. Another minute passes and I try to relieve my building discomfort and the thermometer slips out again. This time without warning, the doctor takes the thermometer completely away, followed by a sharp ”CRACK!!” with the pain resonating from my rear end as I realized with great shock that Dr. Kaplan just hit me! A few more slaps followed by this scolding,” I don’t want to spend my evening at the hospital in emergency surgery removing a broken thermometer from you! Now, let’s try this again and this time, don’t move a muscle!” “Yes doctor”, I say very sheepishly and then apologize as she shakes down the thermometer, dips it Vaseline and in my rear end she places it again. This time I remain motionless, despite the discomfort.

Surprisingly, I make it through the 5 minutes with no worse discomfort (I am expecting a big urge to go but there is none). She gently removes the thermometer. She cleans off the Vaseline and assures me my temperature has stabilized and we will be ready to go once the intestinal cleansing is done. As she pulls up my underwear and gets ready to leave, Angie steps in, rolling an IV pole with a red enema bag on it. Dr. Kaplan hands Angie the clipboard and tells her, “Here is Richard’s chart. I rechecked his temperature and it has stabilized to 98.6, rectal”. Angie enters the notation on my chart and leaves the room with Dr. Kaplan, assuring me she will be right back. Now I am looking at that bulging red bag and wondering to myself how I am supposed to take the contents of it. I was soon about to find out…

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