Just few days after, Milan had the first opportunity to made his plan real. Sunday morning was the time for third injection of "protection therapy”. As usual, about 10 o'clock, he was in the car with his father and driving to local clinic. Milan was thinking about a plan. "I need to grab pants and lay down, drop pants more, till the bottom of butt, pull down briefs, pull up shirt, place hands under chook, look away. I need to concentrate myself..."
There were just four patients in front of him in waiting corridor. As first of them, a fat short boy, enter in treatment room Milan was imagining what is going inside. He imagining a nurse preparing an injection, he imagining the boy laying on bed with bare big butt, he imagining nurse is emptying the syringe. "He has a big butt, it will not hurt him"... Then the second patient, a tall girl of his age. "She would cry, her butt is skinny". She came out without signs it hurt her. Well, her face was not happy but she obviously had not cry inside. Then the third patient...They were exchanging quickly in treatment room so Milan's turn is coming quickly too. As same as fear is coming into his mind.
When they turn came, and they came inside the treatment room, father told Milan's name to nurse and walked with him next to exam bed. When father sat on bed Milan got terrified. It was obvious his father wants to hold him over laps during injection again.
"I can,... I can lay on bed" Milan said obviously confused as he was unzipping his white bermuda pants.
"No Milan, last time you made scenes again. You are obviously not ready to receive injections alone."
"But Daddy, I did."
"Would I prepare you like small kid or you will do it alone" father asked with straight voice as he trying to avoid further arguing.
Aware that father will not change his decision and afraid that arguing can only make him more shamed, Milan unzipped his bermuda pants and laid over father lap. Wracking sounds of injection preparation was coming from his back. They sounded even more terrifying then before. Milan plans were ruined definitely. There was nothing of procedure he imagined. He was not thinking about how to lay or where to put his hand, he was thinking about inevitable pain that was coming. He was getting more and more ashamed because father hold him again over lap. Desperately, he tried to talk with father.
- "Daddy would you please let me injection alone? I will not cry."
- "No Milan. Last time you showed everything. Fourteen year old man, tallest in the class cried as 2 years old kid". Father put his hands over Milan's back and tight. Just a second or two later, Milan felt a nurse next to them.
A middle age blond nurse standing over them with large glass syringe ready in her hand. Milan felt how father pulling down his briefs. Masculine smooth teenage butt appeared.
"Would you please give him injection in right side this time” father said.
With the first touch of alcohol Milan admitted the defeat. All his efforts to receive injection “properly” for his age had been blown away. His awareness he was 14 years old, tall teenager, whose father holding him over laps to get an injection was trigger that made him cry even before the injection started. He was letting strange muffled voice from his mouth. When needle penetrated his butt that strange voice became crying. He tensed his smooth butt. Without a word, nurse pushed the plunger of the syringe. First amount of milky medication flow into boys butt. Milan tensed himself more and cried louder. Nurse had to injecting his buttocks tensed like a stone with additional strength. It was not matter were doors opened or not, the whole waiting room heard his screams.
When injection was over, humiliations didn't stop. Milan was still crying so his father helped him to raise up and pulled back his briefs and pants. Nurse tried to be gentle and clean his tears.
- "Common, you have to stop crying. It is shame that boy like you comes out and cry."
It didn't help him. It was even worse to him after nurse's words. "They have already hear me crying. Now the whole waiting room will laugh".
When nurse was massaging Milan's butt while he was bending over father's laps to get his fourth weekly injection next Sunday, there were no so many scars on butt. Those scares from penicillin treatment already had gone, and there are just two blue scars from last two injection. He managed somehow to stand that injection without crying. It was painful, humiliated, but he was prepared and managed, with enormous efforts to keep his voice behind clenched teeth. There was no need that his father helping him to clothe his briefs and jeans pants. When he tried with pain expression on his face to walk out nurse said:
- "Mr. Blenton, place of injection and Milan's whole leg will probably be sore after large dose of extencillin. Even more, because he is so tensed during injection."
- Well, he complained for pain after injection earlier too.
-Those are reasons. Maybe you should let him receive injection laying on bed next time.
Milan's “return” to holding during injections because he was “acting like small kid” would probably be repeated, but he had a luck that the same nurse was on shift on his next visit to clinic to receive protection injection a month later.
When they came into treatment room, while she was looking for Milan's prescription in the bunch of papers on preparation desk she suggested:
"Milan, want you to receive this injection without your father assistance. How about to lay on bed and prepare yourself"
Milan agreed immediately, even his father did the same.
Milan was prepared his mind for that injection, He had the whole month since last injection to collect a courage. Nurses suggestion made him even more determined not to cry this time. He didn't knew that nurse, he had saw her first time when she was giving him last injection, he didn't even know her name, but she liked her. She was so different from other nurses that giving him injections without sympathy, without real courage. And she was doing in the right way.
As he approached to exam he finally felt a chance to prepare himself for injection as he planed - by imitating Robby. He unzipped white Bermuda pants and laid on bed. As he put his head on a pillow he pulled Bermuda pants till the bottom of his butt, then grabbed white briefs and did the same.
His father stand next to him. He didn't say a word, just wanted to be there just in case. Father almost disturbed Milan in his efforts to concentrate himself when he asked him in which side he want an injection.
- "Do you remember in which side it was last time"
-"No I don't remember. It could be any side. Let it be in right" Milan said with a bit angry voice. He actually lied a bit his father. He knew very well that last injection tortured his left side.
That short conversation had a good side. Milan didn't listening wracking music from preparation table. His ears register only nurses steps when she was approaching him from his right side with large glass syringe in her right hand.
Nurse supposed that Milan is anticipating for the jab so she used a small trick to distract his attention. She massaged both of his butt cheeks. First with single quick motion over his smooth skin, then with more motions gently increasing the pressure of massaging.
"What did you say In right side?"
Milan had not time to answer. Needle was already jabbed in upper outer part of his right butt cheek. Fully jabbed into one single motion of nurse's hand. He tensed his butt.
-" Relax Milan. relax your butt. Common"
Nurse ordered him and wait. When Milan concentrate himself and relax his muscles nurse started to inject medication. He tensed again. This time not only his butt muscles but his face too.
- "Relax Milan, don't you feel it hurts when you tensed"
It was easy to say for her. Milan was still It was not only the reflex. Milan's mind was still convinced that tensing is the way to collect strength not to cry.
- "I will not inject further more if you stay intent. Do you want this injection to last till tomorrow?"
- "No, no, I will relax" Milan said automatically through his clenched teeth.
When his muscle relaxed again nurse pushed a plunger again. Milan's confused mind struggled about decision and orders to muscles. One part of it desperately tried to tense his muscles because of enormous pain, another part tried to listen nurse's orders.
Nurse was not in doubt. She knew about that struggle so she was injecting Milan's butt continuously. millimetre by millimetre of milky medication travelled through the needle from the syringe into boys tendered butt.
While boy was fighting with pain nurse talked about relaxing. She was talking about laying on bed as the best position for avoiding a pain. She explained that Milan's efforts to tense himself actually just increasing the pain.
Still talking, nurse injected all medicine, withdraw a needle and press injection site with cotton pad. While she was holding it there, and from time to time massaged boy's already relaxed butt, She explain to father that holding boy over laps would not only increase the pain but also let him without chances to “finally learn” how to receive injection.
When nurse finished her "job" and pressed Milan's wounded buttock once more she told him:
- " You see, you can made it. Now easily stand up and go home". She left to preparation table and she couldn't see Milan's face. His teeth were still clenched and long light hair covered his eyes, wet of tears.
He hardly walked outside but he was proud. He finally walked through the waiting room and nobody is laughing to him.
After six months and 12 received injections Milan finished nasty therapy that doctor prescribed him to protect him from pneumonias. Milan finally almost learned to relax and almost won his fear. “Almost” because he was still tensing himself sometimes in the middle of injection, he was still moaning sometimes, he was still dropping tears in a pillow. But it was in cases when nurse that was in shift that day wasn’t gentle.
After he received all injections in protection therapy that doctor prescribed him, Milan never got pneumonia again. He and his family moved to another town and he never saw nurses Helena and Lily gain. But he took with himself a branch of memories about injections, especially those to Robby injection. He often imagining his friends are receiving injection. He imagining their butts are jabbing with large glass syringe and milky white penicillin filling their buttocks.
He also bring with himself memories and fears about own injections. They were not so often guest in his mind, especially during first year living in new town. He didn't receive any injection for more than a year. But then, when his new doctor in school youth department in new town had read his record ordered him serial of 7 penicillin injections to be sure that stronger cold would not be pneumonia again. It was the beginning of new age in Milan's injections history. He didn't get pneumonia any more, but from his 15 till 25 doctors found many reasons for prescribing him injections: often tonsillitis, wound infection, vaccinations, bronchitis... Doctor's look to his record followed by order for serial of ten penicillin injections didn't leave his life..