The Madison Dornan Story
I enjoyed the usual childhood interests and games while growing up, but I was always most interested in learning, particularly in the area of science. I was advanced ahead a grade in grammar school, and then another in middle school, so I was only 16 when I graduated high school. My parents wanted me to follow in my father’s footsteps and become an attorney, and eventually a politician. But because I wanted to work with people on a more personal level, I chose to become a medical doctor. Even though I graduated medical school and finished my internship at only twenty-six years of age, I’m sure I disappointed my parents again when I chose to open a private family practice in a small Northern California mountain town instead of a more lucrative specialty practice in a major metropolitan area.
Moving to a small mountain town wasn’t an easy choice for me. Although I love the outdoors, the forest, the mountain streams and lakes, and the general experience of living rural, I also had to consider the fact that I’m gay, and that gays aren’t always accepted in the more conservative rural communities. But with all things considered, I eventually decided to settle in a small Sierra foothill town in Northern California. And I thought I would resolve the gay dilemma by simply remaining in the closet. As it turned out, the town was basically a retirement community were my services were greatly needed, and where I found a wonderful mountain home on a heavily forested fifteen acre parcel not too far from my practice.
Now all of that background brings us to where this story actually begins. I had just turned twenty-seven, and although I didn’t outwardly proclaim this, I truly felt like I was on track to meeting my life’s goals. Although my practice was still getting off of the ground, it was doing quite well for being open just under a year. My home was shaping up according to plans, and I was comfortably adjusting to riggers of mountain life, and the self-reliance such living requires.
By necessity most of my first year had been taken up with efforts to develop and expand my practice, as well as to improve my home and living conditions. I was so involved in those projects that I paid little attention to my personal or social needs. And I must add that I was alright with all of that as I was enjoying, and taking great pride in the accomplishments I was making in both my home and practice.
Then one sunny Thursday afternoon everything changed. It was unexpected and unplanned, and began innocently enough with an appointment with a new patient. I gave little thought to that fact as almost all of my patients were new to me at that time. But from the moment I first laid eyes on him, I knew that he was different. So different that just looking at him all but took my breath away. His name was Bradly Dornan. And even though he was 18 years old, his mother accompanied him when my assistant ushered him into one of my treatment rooms. She even stayed while my assistant instructed him to disrobe and dawn an examination gown, and then while she weighed him and took his vitals.
The instant I entered the treatment room I noted that Bradly was a very handsome boy who appeared quite fit. So I looked to his appointment sheet and saw that his height, weight, body temperature, and blood pressure were all in normal range. When I looked back to him he was sitting on the examining table wearing only white cotton underpants, white crew socks with red trim, and the aforementioned examination gown. After greeting and introducing myself to both him and his mother, I asked how he was doing. He spoke right up and said he was doing fine. But his mother immediately chimed in, and said, “Well you can’t listen to him, doctor. He always says he’s fine. But the reason we’re here is because his irritable bowel syndrome has been acting up more than ever.”
I looked to the boy, and asked, “How about that? Are you having problems right now?”
“Yea, I hate it, and nothing seems to help.”
I got my mini-flashlight out and checked his eyes. I had him open his mouth and stick his tongue out so I could asses his oral health. I did a cursory palpation of the glands in his neck and under his arms, all while his mother continued to convey the details of his bowel problems. She went on while I listened to her son’s heart and lungs. Then I asked if he was comfortable with his mother being in the room while I checked him for inguinal hernia, and did a rectal exam to check his prostate and anal/rectal health. I could tell that he would rather she not be there, but he surrendered to the fact that she was intent on staying.
I had him stand and lower his underpants to mid-thigh. I could tell he was uncomfortable with his mother looking on during his inguinal hernia check, so I tried to ease the tension by reporting the fact that there were no herniations as I went on to the visual and palpation check of his penis and testis. After verbally stating that they were also normal, I then had him turn around and bend over to lay his head and chest over the end of the treatment table while I pulled on a fresh examination glove. I applied KY-Jelly to my index finger, and then spread his butt cheeks so I could visualize his anus. And then while his mother looked on, I inserted my lubricated finger fully into his rectum. I first palpated his prostate, which I found to be normal in size with no abnormal formations or masses. But while feeling around the inside of his rectum I sensed a rough texture of his rectal walls, something that most commonly indicates the presence of inflammation. And then after withdrawing my finger from his anus, I also noted a visible inflammation surrounding his anus that I had missed prior to insertion. While holding his buttocks apart, I asked him if the perianal irritation was normal for him. And, instead answering my question, he began to obviously fight tears as he said, “I hate all of this. I’m tired of people looking up my butt all the time, and sticking who knows what up my ass. All I get are pills that don’t do anything, so I feel like there’s no cure for me, and like everybody would be better off if I weren’t around.”
I tied to move Bradly away from his negative thoughts by asking if he was going to school. He answered with a curt “No”. So I went on to ask if he had graduated high school, which he answered with a curt “Yes”. Then I asked if he had a job, and got another curt “No”. Finally I asked if he had a girlfriend, a question which he answered with a simple, “No”. I could tell that he didn’t want to give that last answer as he seemed defeated and looked to the floor. I also couldn‘t understand it as he was so beautiful that I felt girls would be most desirous of him.
Even though my practice was relatively new, I had treated several very sick patients, some even in the process of dying. But because Bradly was the first to state that everybody would be better off if he wasn’t around, I took his comment seriously. So as I stood from my stool, I asked his mother if she could please leave and wait in the waiting room as I had some private questions I wanted to ask her son. Even though my request didn’t seem to sit well with her, she reluctantly left the examination room. I sat back down on my stool and rolled it up to Bradly until I was directly in front of him as he sat at the end of the examination table. Then while looking directly into his handsome face, I asked if there was anything else he might want to tell me. He remained quiet for several seconds. Then while wiping tears from his cheeks, he said, “I’m sorry. I just don’t feel like I have a future, and I don’t feel like I fit in. I just feel like I’m too fucked up to be of any use.”
While focusing on his handsome face, I said, “That’s some pretty negative thinking. I hope you know that I don’t agree with any of it. I have the feeling that you’re a pretty great kid, and that you actually have a lot to offer.” I was going to say more but Bradly interrupted me by saying, “That’s only because you don’t know me. In fact, nobody really knows me.”
I looked in his eyes, and asked, “Let me ask you a more personal question. Are you sexually active?”
Bradly looked to the floor before saying, “I’m not sure what you mean by that? If you’re asking if I’ve ever had sex with another person, the answer is no. If you’re asking if I jack-off, then the answer is yes.”
“And how do you feel about that?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s part of why I feel like I don’t fit in.” Then he raised his head so he could look in my eyes as he asked, “How much of what I tell you will remain just between us?”
While maintaining my focus on his eyes, I said, “Everything. You’re over eighteen, so everything we discuss here will be kept in the strictest confidence. And because of H.I.P.A.A. laws, which I pronounced as “hippa”, nobody has a right to even ask if we talked at all.”
“Okay then.” he said, “I’ve never told anyone this, especially my parents, but on top of everything else, I’m pretty sure I’m gay. So how about that for being fucked up?”
I wanted to reach out and touch him, but instead said, “Being gay has nothing to do with being fucked up. Do you feel like being gay is a problem for you?”[
“Are you kidding?” he exclaimed, “Everyone I know makes fun of gay guys. I can guarantee you that all of my friends would treat me like shit if they ever found out. And besides, it’s a sin. Just ask anyone in this whole town.”
“Well you didn’t ask me. I don’t think being gay is a sin. Is feeling that you might be gay is what makes you think you don’t fit in?”
Once again Bradly was quiet. And once again a tear trickled down his cheek. So instead of waiting for him to answer, I said, “You know, Bradly, now that you’re eighteen, it’s what you think is right or wrong that counts. When it comes to your personal values, you don’t have to answer to anyone, not even your parents unless you particularly want to.”
Bradly immediately shot back with, “Look Doctor Madison, remember how I just told you that I hate how people are always sticking things up my butt? Well that’s true. I really hate it. But what’s also true, is that I like sticking thing up my butt when I’m jacking off. Now you have to admit that that’s pretty fucked up.”
“No Bradly, I don’t agree with that either. Your body is yours. You get to enjoy it any way you want. It’s probably best to keep somethings secret, but in the end, what you do with your body, and how you choose to enjoy it is your business. Let me ask you this. What are you doing for the next three days?”
“Why? Why do you want to know that?”
“Well, I think it might be good for you if you and I spend some time just talking. Not in an office like this, but relaxed talk without a concern for time, or being hurried by the fact that we both know your mother is waiting for you out in the waiting room. The thing is, my office is closed on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, so I thought it might be good for you if you took a little vacation from your family. I have nothing going this weekend, so if you’d like, you could come up and spend the next three days with me on my property, and we could just talk things out.”
“Why would you go to all that trouble for me?” Bradly asked.
“Because, as I said, I think you’re a pretty great guy, and I’d like to help you see that. Besides, I live all by myself, so it would be kind of nice to have some company this weekend.”
“You mean just you and me?”
“Yes, I think it could be very beneficial for you. My property is only a few miles out of town, but it’s in the forest and private enough that we could talk freely about anything you might want to talk about.”
“Well if you’re sure, I think I might like that. The problem is that I don’t know if my mother would like it.”
That was when I went a step further than perhaps I should have, because I said, “I think you should discuss this with her, but as I said, you’re eighteen now, so in the end, whether you come up to my property or not, is really up to you.”
With a serious look on his face, Bradly said, “Yea, but that’s not how my mother would see it. In her eyes I’m still her little boy, and she still wants to have a say in everything I do.”
I reached over and patted Bradly on his gown covered knee, and said. “If you think it would make it any easier, you could tell her that I want to observe your eating and bowel habits for a few days.”
Bradly looked thoughtful for a few seconds, and then said, “Okay. If you’re sure you want to put up with me, I think I’d really like to spend the weekend with you. Is there anything special I should bring?”
“Well, you should bring any medications you’re taking, and three days’ worth of clothes. That should do it.”[/color]
[color=black]“Should I go ask her right now?”
“Well, let me take a rectal smear first. Why don’t you turn around and get up on this table on your hands and knees, and we’ll get that out of the way.”
“What’s it for?”
“It’ll let me know if you have any unfriendly bugs making a home in your colon.” I said as I noted a look of disappointment on his beautiful face.
After a short hesitation, he said, “Okay, but this is what I’m talking about. Everyone’s always sticking things up my butt, and it’s really embarrassing. And now this will be even more embarrassing because I know that after you do whatever it is that you are going to do to my butt, we’ll be spending the weekend together.”
“I know,” I said, “But I’ll make it quick. And it will tell us a lot.”
Bradly slid off of the treatment table, turned his back to me, and then climbed back up on it. He pushed his underpants back down, and then his examination gown fell open at his buttocks as he bent to assume a knee chest position. All I can tell you, is that he was presenting the most luscious boy butt and puckered anus that I had ever seen. I picked up a sterile Que Tip and tore its protective wrapper open. Then I opened his buttocks a little more with the thumb and forefinger of my left hand, not because I needed to, but because I wanted to touch him in this new position. Then I slowly twisted the Que Tip through his anus and well into his rectum. Once inserted, I twisted it back and forth, and moved it in and out in order to drag its cotton covered tip against his rectal walls to pick up a good sampling of his rectal mucus. Finally I withdrew it and placed it in a sterile specimen bottle. Bradly asked if he could pull his underpants up, and I said, “Yes, we’re all done.” But in the process of sitting back up and pulling his underpants up, I saw that my last rectal intrusion had caused Bradly’s penis to fill out, almost to the point of being erect, a sight that caused my penis to stir in my own pants.
Bradly kept his back to me as he climbed form the treatment table. I was sure he was trying to hide his erection while he asked, “Can I get dressed now so I could go ask my mom about spending the weekend with you?”
“Sure.” I said, “I need to enter the details of your visit into our computer, so I’ll be in my office for a few minutes before I see my next patient. Just ask my receptionist to show you back to my office after you’ve talked to your mother.”
I then left Bradly in the small room so he could dress in private, and so I could return to my office. I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly Bradly appeared at my office door. He didn’t enter, but spoke from the doorway, saying, “My mom said it would be okay, but she wanted me to ask you one more time if you’re really sure you want to do this?”
I smiled, and said, “Of course I’m sure. I’ll be finished here around five-thirty. Can you meet me here around that time?”
“Yea, I have my own car, so that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Good.” I said, “Then just wait for me in the waiting room around five-thirty, and we’ll take off from here.”[/color]