My name is Kioshi Kato, but everyone, even my parents, have always called me Kix. To better introduce myself, I should also mention that I’m now 24 years old, and gay. Sometime I think I’ve always known I was gay, but I knew for sure by the time I was 12 or 13. As a kid I didn’t think being gay was a good thing to be, so I kept that knowledge of myself my most coveted secret and lived a fake life until after I graduated from high school. It was then that I decided that I didn’t want my life to be a lie, and so I came out to my parents, as well as to three of my closest friends. Two of those friends were very accepting, while the third said he was okay with my being gay, but then stopped calling and eventually disassociated himself from me. At that time I was eighteen, and planning to attend The University of San Francisco where I had already been accepted. But even though I’m kind of slightly built, I was also considering taking civil service tests to become a firefighter, or maybe a paramedic.
As it turned out, graduating high school, coming out, and turning eighteen all at the same time seemed to meld together to cause an immediate change in my life that was totally unexpected. That change really began when my parents offered to send me on a month’s all-expense paid vacation to Japan as a graduation gift. As great as that sounded, I told them that I would rather spend the entire summer alone at their summer home.
My parent’s summer home is located in a mountainous area on the California side of Lake Tahoe. It’s a wonderful retreat, and yet it was a place they seldom went after I turned fifteen. Even though it’s in a heavily forested area, it isn’t a typical mountain property in that it’s a 2 story, 5 bedroom, steep rooved, Tudor style home. And even though my parents are Japanese/Americans, they’ve always referred to it as their “Chalet”. When I mentioned that I would like to spend my summer there, my father jumped at the idea, although he asked that I do maintenance work around the property in my spare time. As I’ve always enjoyed working at that property, cutting brush, clearing pine needles, maintaining fire clearances, or any other thing that might need attention, we came to an immediate agreement.
I drove up that following Wednesday, actually anxious to get started on my maintenance work. There were some inside choirs that I did on the first and second day, but they really didn’t amount to much as my parents have a service that performs most of the simple maintenance on the house. Everything else was outside work, where I worked mostly shirtless in shorts, and so I got plenty of fresh air and sun. Even though I was working hard, I enjoyed the work, as well as feeling a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day.
The evenings were a different story, because that was when I kicked back and played the organ. I’ve been playing since I was 8, and it was something I really enjoyed. My parents had two identical organs, one in their San Francisco home, and one in their summer home at Tahoe. Both organs are full throated Allen ADC4600 digital theatre consoles, and both have two Leslie speaker systems attached, and so are quite wonderful sounding instruments. I usually played for a couple of hours each evening before driving into Tahoe City to take in a movie or have a nice dinner. But as the days past that soon got old, so toward the end of the second week of my getaway, I went on line to investigate what other forms of entertainment Lake Tahoe had to offer, particularly to their gay community. I was surprised to find the area had four bars catering to LGBT customers at least one night a week, and two others that were full time gay friendly. Unfortunately, at only eighteen, I wasn’t legally old enough to patronize such establishments, but there was a seventh venue that was billed as “Gay Friendly” that was called “The Old Wagon Saloon and Grill”. It had a bar in it, but it boasted of having a great barbeque restaurant and a Billiard and video gaming section of their facility that was set aside for the entertainment of their under twenty-one guests.
I decided to give the Old Wagon a try that night, and felt like I fit in the instant I walked in its door. Their restaurant section served all kinds of food, but specialized in barbeque. And more importantly, they had a fully restored theatre pipe organ there that was played by a local guy by the name of Bill Sanford, Friday through Tuesday.
Everyone seem so open and gay friendly at the Old Wagon that it immediately became my favorite nighttime hangout. It was a place where I could be myself, and be with other young men that I felt comfortable with. For the first time in my life I was able to make friends with guys that I could be totally honest with, guys who were accepting of my Japanese ancestry, and who were also open and accepting of my sexuality. Even though I was a virgin at the time, and still not ready to jump into bed with another guy, I still wanted to know other young men, to learn from them, even to kiss and hug them when we met up for the first time each evening.
I thought the Old Wagon was going to be my summer hangout, but to my surprise, even that changed during the second week of my frequenting the place. It was then that I saw an amazingly attractive guy in the open hearth section of the restaurant. He was eating a barbequed steak dinner while sitting at a table surrounded by several other good looking guys. It was obvious that he was as much the center of their attention as he was mine. I knew he was older than me, maybe twenty-two or so, and he seemed to command the other guys at his table as if he were a natural born leader. He had deep set blue eyes, full lips, strong cheek and jaw bones, all set in a perfect white boy complexion. He had medium length wavy blond hair that laid rather indiscriminately, all though beautifully on his head. And from what I could determine through his tight fitting T shirt, he was slender with well-defined muscles, although not the body building type if you know what I mean. Add to that, I sensed an overall mystique in his eyes that was somehow coupled with an innocence that immediately attracted me to him. And when I say attracted, I mean every fiber of my being wanted to know him, wanted to be part of his life, not to mention to be loved by him. Whether you believe in love at first sight, or not, I do, and I knew that I loved him.
But because he seemed to already have a doting group of attractive young men, I kind of figured he was beyond my reach. Still, even though he had caught me looking at him a couple of times, I couldn’t help continuing to sneak occasional glimpses, if only to take in his raw beauty, his majestic sexiness, or even the mystery behind his eyes.
In order to give myself cover, I moved into the gaming area of the under 21 room. There I tried to act as if I was interested in watching another boy play a video pinball game while periodically sneaking glances of the beautiful white boy for several more minutes. That was when I just happened to catch a glimpse of John Lambert, another under twenty-one gay kid whom I had run in to at the Old Wagon several times before. He waved me over to his table, so I walked back to the barbeque area to greet him. He openly kissed and hugged me, which was something that I had only recently become comfortable with. After hugging him back, I asked if he had noticed the guy whom I had been watching, and without hesitation, he said, “Oh yea. That’s Tony Jorden. Don’t you recognize him?”
“No,” I answered, “Should I?”
“Well, if you watch much porn you would. He’s kind of the hottest new thing in gay porn.”
“Oh,” I said, “No wonder he’s so cute.”
“Yea, I suppose he is.” John said, “But most of those guys are pretty shallow, not to mention stuck on themselves. I’d avoid him if I were you.”
I started to speak, but John interrupted me by saying, “I talked to Mr. Lance, the guy who owns of this place, about you playing the organ on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and he’d like to hear you play.”
“Wow that would be great.” I said.
John then stood, and said, “Why don’t you wait here and I’ll see if I can find him.”
And before I could respond, John was gone, to return only a few minutes later with Mr. Lance. Mr. Lance seemed like a nice enough guy, but he got right to business by asking me what kinds of music I liked to play, and what kind of professional experience I had. I told him that I played all kinds of music, but my favorites were show tunes, circus music, and marches, as I knew that was the kind of stuff Bill Sanford played. He suddenly became more than interested, and because that was a Thursday, one of Sanford’s regular days off, he asked if I could perform for him right then and there. He and John then lead the way to the organ console. I had to follow, even though I really wanted to stay and keep my eye on Tony Jorden. As it turned out, I had barely settled on the organ’s bench when Mr. Lance asked me to play “Hello Dolly”. I played it, and Mr. Lance, as well as the dinner crowd seem pleased enough to applaud enthusiastically. Then Mr. Lance asked me to play John Phillip Sousa’s “The Stars and Stripes Forever”. And again the crowd seemed pleased. That was all it took. Mr. Lance then told me that he would pay me $200 a night for Wednesdays and Thursdays, and if after a month he felt I was working out, he would pay me $300 a night plus my tips. I told him I would be happy to fill in the two nights that were Bill Sanford’s regular nights off and he said, “Great, I’ll have a new sign painted and you can start next Wednesday.”
But just as I was dismounting the organ bench I turned and there was Tony Jorden, only 3 feet from me. He extended his hand and introduced himself. And then while looking right in my eyes he said, “I noticed that you kept looking at me back in the restaurant. Did you like what you saw?”
I was suddenly so nervous I could hardly speak, and so simply said, “Yes.”
And then as we shook hands, he said, “Good, because I like what I’m seeing right now, and I really liked your playing.” And before letting go of my hand, he added, “Hi, I’m Tony Jorden.”
I nervously kept my eyes focused on his as I said, “Hi, my name is Kix, and I didn’t mean to stare.”
“Neither did I,” he said, “But I liked what I saw so much that I couldn’t help it.”
I could hardly believe he was talking about me, until he asked, “Can I buy you a drink?”
“Actually no. I’m only eighteen.” I said with some embarrassment.
Mr. Lance then smiled, and said, “Okay then, I’ll see you next Wednesday.” And then he walked back to the kitchen area while Tony Jorden smiled and asked, “Then can I ask if you might like to take a little ride.”
“Where to?” I asked.
“Any place you’d like to go.”
“Because I think you’re adorable, and I’d like to get to know you.”
“Okay,” I said, “But I’ve never been on a date before.”
He smiled a truly sexy smile as he said, “Well I have, so I can show you what to do. Besides, I just want to get to know you. I promise not to ask you to marry me.”
I laughed as I looked back to John Lambert. He wasn’t laughing at my new friend’s joke. Not knowing what else to say, I said, “I’ll catch you later, John.” And then I looked back to Tony, and said, “Okay, you lead the way.”
Tony immediately led the way out of the club to his spots car. It was a Honda S 2000, a beautiful car but one that I was totally unfamiliar with. As soon as we were both tucked inside, he said, “I owe you an apology.”
“For what?” I asked.
“For acting like an arrogant snob back there. I do that sometimes when I’m in front of a lot of people. I know I came off like an asshole, so I just wanted to apologize and tell you that I’m not really like that.”
“That’s okay. I’m so knew to the gay scene that I didn’t catch it. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to act.”
Tony smiled again, and said, “You could have fooled me. As far as I’m concerned, you’re acting perfectly.”
“Thanks,” I said, “So where would you like to go, or what would you like to do?”
Tony looked deep in my eyes, and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but I’d just like to go somewhere where we could talk privately and get to know each other. Do you know of a place that would be good for that?”
“Yes, I actually do. But I don’t know if you’ll like it.”
“If it’s private and you’re going to be there, I’ll like it.”
“Okay, but I’ll need to take my own car. You can follow me up. It’s only about 3 miles from here.”
Tony hesitated, and then said, “Okay, but I really hate to let you out of my sight.”
Without telling Tony where we were headed, I left him to get in my car, and then lead him back to my parent’s Chalet. When we arrived I hit the garage door remote and parked in the garage while he remained behind me on the driveway. I then got out of my car and walked back to invite him into the house. Instead of getting out, he lowered his driver’s side window and asked, “So where are we?”
“My house. It’s quiet and private, just what you asked for.”
“Is anybody home?”
“No.” I said, and then added, “Well, it’s actually my parent’s summer home, but they’re down in San Francisco.”
“Wow, how do they make their money?”
I wasn’t sure I should answer that question, but I said, “My Dad is a real estate broker, and owns his own real estate company in San Francisco.”
“Oh wow, I just got my real estate license. I haven’t done anything with it yet, mainly because I’m doing pretty well without it. It’s kind of my ‘fall back’ plane.”
“Yea, my friend told me you were a porn star.”
“Well that could be a stretch, but yea, I do work in porn.”
Only then did I ask, “Would you like to come in? I have left over pizza I could toss in the microwave.”
Tony got out of his car and we entered the house together. I directed him to our great room and then went to the kitchen so I could put the pizza in the microwave. After two minutes heating time I took the pizza to the great room and put it on the hearth so I could turn the gas logs on. Only then did I turn to Tony, who was sitting in an overstuffed chair as I asked, “So, is the private enough?”
“Yea, but now I don’t know where to start. Ordinarily I know what I want to say, and I say it. But because we just met, I’m afraid to actually begin.” Then after a thoughtful pause, he said, “So I’m just going to come out and tell you, that even though I don’t really know you, I know that I really like you, I like you a lot.”
After a moment of silence, I said, “I can understand that. I really like you too.”
“Yea, but I’m not sure you really understand, because the truth is, I really like you. In fact, I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone in my life. I can’t tell you why, but I’d really like to be your friend, your very best friend.”
“But I think I do understand, because I feel the same way about you, and I don’t know how to explain that either.”
Tony leaned forward to look deep in my eyes as he said, “I have the feeling that you have no idea how cute and sexy you are. But the truth is, you’re really hot, so hot in fact that I know you could make it big in porn. Have you ever given that any thought?”
“No, not really.” I said while feeling a blush come over my face.
“Well that’s why I’m up here. Martin Harris is a big time porn producer who lives not far from here. He’s asked me to act in video that he’ll be taping in his home in a couple of days. And the thing is, I don’t really like the costar I’m supposed to play against.” Tony then fell silent for a few seconds before going on to say, “I’m sure I could talk Martin into giving that part to you if you think you might want to give porn a try.”
“I don’t know.” I said, “I mean I’ve never acted before, not even in a high school play.”
“That doesn’t matter. When it comes to porn, all you really need is to be ‘hot’, and you’ve got that in spades. By the way, you never told me your last name.”
Then Tony changed the subject, by saying, “That’s a beautiful organ over there. What are those big boxes on the wall?”
“They’re called Leslie speakers. They’re motor driven speakers that whirl around inside of those cabinets in order to give depth and live tremolo to the organ’s sounds.”
“Would you play something for me?”
“Sure, what would you like to hear?
“Anything. I just want to hear you play.”
“Okay” I said, as I got up and walked toward the organ console. Tony followed and stood beside me as I sat to play a medley of old show tunes that I thought he would recognize.” But before I finished he stopped me and said, “You know that I think you are like magic when you are sitting at one of these things. I don’t want to come off as being too aggressive, but I was wondering if I could kiss you, Kix Kato?”
“I guess,” I said, “But I have to tell you that I’m kind of new at that too.”
Tony sat beside me on the organ bench, and then took me in his arms, and said, “That’s okay, I’ll teach you.” And then he kissed me. It was a long drawn out kiss with our tongues all but dueling each other as we kissed open mouthed. And we did all of that while we were all but grinding our torsos into each other’s bodies. And when we finally broke from that kiss, he said, “I know we just met, and I know that this puts me at a great disadvantage with you, but I think I love you. I know that might be scary for you, but it’s how I feel and I want you to know.”
“Yea, right.” I said, “I bet you say that to a lot of guys.”
“No, not to anyone ever before.”
While feeling a little embarrassed for my last comment, I said, “Well I really like you too, so I’d like to know more about you. Like how many boyfriends have you had? How many movies have you been in? And what kinds of things do you like to do when you’re not doing porn?”
“Well, I’ve had sex with several porn actors, but I’ve only had two real boyfriends. I really loved them both, but one was straight, and the other wanted to be straight. I’ve been in eight porn films. I know that sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t in this business. They were all short, and they hardly had any script. But because of them, I’ve had sex with six other actors. It isn’t eight because two of them were repeats, and none of them turned me on like you. That’s why I was hoping you might like to be in this video with me. You’d be great, and because I’m really turned on by you, I’d be even better than usual.” He paused while seeming to be in thought before he went on to say, “As for what I like to do when I’m not acting, I like hiking and camping, skiing, both water and snow, I like boats and cars, and I like to jack off while watching gay porn.” He hesitated for another moment, and then finished with, “Boy, when I hear myself say all of that, I feel like I’m coming off like some kind of sex driven simpleton.”
“No, not really.” I said, “I like to do all of those same things, so I understand.”
Tony kissed me again, another long face grinding kiss that left me all but breathless. And when we parted from that kiss, and without much thought, I asked what I thought was the $64,000 question, “So what’s your HIV status?”
Tony didn’t hesitate to say, “Well, because I perform condomless, by state law I have to be tested ever six month, and before each taping session, as do the actors I play against. And because I haven’t had sex outside of my taped performances for almost a year, I can guarantee you that I’m negative. What about you?”
“Well I’m still a virgin, and I don’t do drugs, so I’ve never been tested.”
“Would you like to change that?”
“You mean get tested?”
“No, I mean, would you like to stop being a virgin?”
Instead of answering I shrugged my shoulders, and Tony went on to say, “I want you to know that I’m really picky when it comes to sex. That’s why it’s almost been a year since I’ve had sex outside of acting. But to be honest, I’d really like to have sex with you.”
“I kind of want that too,” I said, “but I’m still kind of afraid.”
“Okay then, what if we just get a shower or bath together. That will allow us to kind of explore and learn about each other while not worrying about actually having sex. How does that sound?”
I hesitated a moment, and then said, “I guess that would be okay.”
I turned the organ off, and climbed from its bench. Neither of us ever touched the pizza before I directed Tony up to my bedroom. Our Chalet is probably more luxurious than most of the summer homes in the area as it has 5 bedrooms, all with their own private bathrooms. I stripped down to my boxers and then went in to start filling the tub. Tony soon followed, only he was totally naked when he entered my bathroom. His slender body was beautiful in every way, but his eyes were on my boxers when he said, “You aren’t going to bathe in your underwear, are you?”
“No.” I said with some embarrassment.
“Then let me take them off for you.”
And before I could answer he knelt in front of me and began pulling my boxers down over my hips. When my penis popped free of their waistband, it sprang toward his face. He reached out and took it in his right hand as he massaged my naked butt cheeks with his left. And while continuing to massage my butt, he also continued to massage my penis until it was fully erect. Then he pulled my naked butt to him and took my penis in his mouth. He sucked it fully in as he played his warm wet tongue all over its head. It all felt magically wonderful until he pushed me away, and said, “I’m sorry, Kix. I really am. I didn’t mean to do that without asking. I told you no sex, and I meant it. Please don’t be angry with me?”
“I’m not angry.” I said, “Actually I liked it. It felt real nice.”
“Good, but I won’t do anything like that again unless you tell me it’s okay.” Then he stood, and we both stepped into the bathtub. He sat at one end while I sat in the other. Once we settled in, he said, “The last thing I want, is for you to be afraid of me. It’s just that your cock looked so delicious I couldn’t help myself.”
That surprised me as I had always thought my cock was a little on the small side, especially in comparison to his. So I changed the subject and said, “You said that we should take a bath together so we could get to know each other. So I was just wondering what’s your favorite sexual thing to do?”
“Wow! You’d probably laugh if I told you."
“No, I promise I won’t.”
He hesitated for a moment before saying, “Well I’ve never admitted this to anyone before, but if you promise not to laugh, I’ll tell you.”
“I already promised I wouldn’t laugh, so what is it?”
"First you have to understand that I like to do all kinds of sexual things. In fact, I promise that I’ll let you do anything you want me to me. And I’ll do anything to you that you want me to do. I mean it Kix, anything.”
“Okay, but what’s your favorite thing to do?”
After a longer hesitation, he said, “I didn’t know this about myself until I got into porn. But before any taping begins, Mr. Harris insists that all of the actors get hosed out. And to get our motors running, he has us hose each other out.”
“What do you mean?” I asked while having no inkling as to what he was talking about.
Tony sighed, and then asked, “Do you know what an enema is?”
His question embarrassed me, but I answered a reluctant, “Y-e-a.”
“Well, Mr. Harris has us give each other 2 to 3 of them, and then a lubricating one to hold up our butts before we go on set. And because of that, I’ve learned that I really like doing that to other guys. It’s much more of a turn-on than you might think. I mean you get to grease up the other guys asshole real good by sticking your finger up his butt and tease it all around inside him. And after he lets his final enema out, you get to inject a real slippery lubricant up his ass that he’s supposed to hold in throughout the whole taping session. And let me tell you, Kix, that stuff is so slippery that it isn’t easy to hold up your butt. So all the time your taping, you know that the other guy is having to keep his asshole tightly puckered, and that’s kind of a sexy thing to know when your fucking some hot guy’s butt. But he has to do it, because taping often goes on for hours, and you can fuck a guy all day when he’s holding that stuff up his ass and he’ll never get soar.”
My dick was already hard when I asked, “And he does that to you too?”
“Yea, even if I’m not the one who’s supposed to get fucked. Porn scripts are written so loosely that once the cameras start rolling you’re never sure who is and who isn’t going to get fucked. But that’s okay, because I like that too. So do you think I’m some kind of freak?”
“No, of course not. In fact, just hearing you explain all of that has made my dick hard.”
“Yea, I noticed. Are you sure you don’t want to have sex?”
I thought for a moment, and then said, “Well, after hearing all of that, I feel like we may have more in common than I thought, so maybe we could do something.”
I then struggled to move to his end of the tub so I could kiss him. We hugged and kissed each other while I caressed his breast, and he caressed my butt cheeks in the warmth of the tub’s water. I was ready for those kisses, and for the heavy petting that followed. And so for the first time I was able to aggressively participate in the deep kissing that hardened both of our cocks. Finally we stopped long enough for me to say, “In fact, I think we should get out of here and go to my bed right now.”
I rose from the tub before Tony even had a chance to answer, so I was glad to see him following close behind. He dried my body, and I dried his before we returned to my bedroom where we immediately got into my bed. At first we just kissed and hugged, and then we began to kiss while exploring each other’s bodies with our hands, and so it was while Tony was cupping and massaging my balls that he said, “I want to be honest with you about everything, so I think you should know that Tony Jorden is only my porn name. My real name is Alex Mayer, and no one but you knows that.”
And then without another word, he end for ended himself and once again took my penis in his mouth. I needed no further encouragement, and so for the first time in my life I took another man’s penis in my hand. It seemed to possess an indescribable power that caused me to immediately put it in my mouth.
Everything we did that night was a first for me, yet it all seemed natural and right, so right that even though I had jacked-off only hours before, I came in Alex’s mouth, and not long after that, he came in mine. Then he end for ended himself again and kissed me while we both still had each other’s cum in our mouths. And we kissed and kissed with our tongues once again searching through the other’s mouth until there was no cum left.
All of that was more wonderful than I ever dreamed gay sex would be. In fact, it was so amazingly wonderful that I felt it gave real meaning to my life for the first time. It caused me to realize why I was gay, and why gay was right for me. Alex and I continued to kiss and hug until we fell asleep. And so for the first time in my life I slept in the warm secure embrace of a man I truly loved.