Reading time: 15 minutes

The context for this week: my journey in the depths of hell has continued. Susan - my foster mom - and her two daughters slowly forced me to be obedient and behave like a girl. In the past weeks, I had to sleep in pink pajamas, wear training pants, carry a blankie and a teddy bear. Also, I was regularly subjected to different types of punishments such as getting suppositories, threats of spanking and verbal abuse in front of others. I have realized in the last days that if I call Susan "mommy" the punishment will be much less severe or even postponed. I was not entirely comfortable doing so, because I felt this was what Susan wanted.

Monday with potty

On Monday, Susan gave me normal underwear. I was so surprised, I did not say a word. When she finished dressing me, she has gently patted my bottom. I shrieked up quickly thinking that she might spank me, which made the girls giggle.

'Jo is really afraid of spanking' Erica noted, to which Susan just nodded quietly.

That day in school was one of my favorite ones; I was confident and hopeful that that Monday morning was the start of something promising. I suppose I was wrong again. The same afternoon, just after getting home, Susan has brought in a gift for me. It was nicely packaged in a pink wrapping with yellow starts all over. While I found it too girly, I had no doubt Susan wanted to make a statement with this. She treated me as one of her daughters now.

'Come on Jo, open it up.' Susan has encouraged me. By the time I have unwrapped the item, I exactly knew how that week will go.

It was a pink potty.

'I am really proud of your progress, darling' Susan addressed me with kind words, which were barely enough to balance my shock. 'From now on, instead of messing your training pants, I would like you to use the potty. It is nice and pink, your favorite color.' My favorite color was of course not pink, but it wasn't worth starting a war about it with my foster mom. She has noticed my looming dismal so she rummaged in her pocket and pulled out a bar of chocolate. 'This is for you for being such a good girl!'

I have not eaten chocolate for ages (ages meaning 2 weeks) at this point. When I got it in my hand, I was impressed by how quickly I opened it and started munching on it. I was afraid this was another ruse, so I wanted to have as much as possible, before losing the chocolate. However, Susan has not said a word, simply just smiled at me and then left. Lydia asked me if she could get some, but I had no interest in sharing, so I put my tongue out and licked the chocolate from top to bottom. 'Ew' Lydia said with disgust and turned her back to me.

Barely 10 minutes have passed when Susan has reappeared carrying my teddy bear. I lost this toy the previous week and almost got spanked for it. Both the memory of spanking and Susan's kind act invaded me at the same time. I was stunned when she walked up to me, knelt down and gave me back the bear.

'Look who I found!' she has smiled which I read as a positive thing. I still have not uttered a word out of caution. 'Okay, now. You have to promise me not to lose the teddy bear again, okay?' Susan told me. Just to make an impact of her words, she repeated herself 'Do you promise?' I have grabbed the teddy bear and pressed it against my face. It took me 10 seconds before said 'Uhum'.

Susan looked concerned. I was torn between whether I should just try running away (Where exactly?) or act happy, just the way she wanted. She lifted her arms up, grabbed my arms gently and spoke to me with a whole mix of emotions in her face 'So, what do you name your toy? Maybe naming it will help you to keep it'.

Thoughts raced through my mind. The only thing that I could think of is the show I was watching with the girls "wonder witches". 'Lily' I said, Lily was the name of one of the characters in the show. Susan smiled at me while she slowly stood up.

'Okay, you and Lily take care and hopefully, nothing will go wrong again.' Susan has stood there with a good sense of authority. 'One more thing' she added 'Because of the potty, you are not allowed in the toilet anymore. You have to use the potty instead, for both number 1 and number 2. I locked the doors and gave the key to the girls. They won't give it to you even if you ask.'

I am not sure if the statement itself was weird or the fact that I was not even shocked anymore. I started accepting Susan's decisions.

Wednesday with skirt

Just after school on Wednesday, Susan has "surprised" me again with another package. She handed it to me while we were putting our books away in our bedroom. The girls were both reading their comics, while I was preparing for school the next day.

This new gift wasn't neatly packaged, it was simply in a folded plastic bag. It honestly looked like she just bought it an hour before in the second-hand store. I was a bit disappointed at the missing pink packaging. I kept silent and tried to avoid showing any emotions. Susan reacted really badly to facial cues she did not expect.

When I opened the bag and reached in, my hand found a soft material that reminded me of the top of our duvet. I have slowly lifted the small A-line blue skirt out of the bag. I kept concentrating on not to smirk or do anything that would end me getting spanked. I did look confused when it fully registered what I had in my hand. Susan had a big smile on her face.

'I was thinking that you are making your pants to dirty nowadays and it would be great to get you something that stays clean longer. I popped into this new store right around the corner and found this lovely garment for you! You can wear it from now on!' Susan sounded like she was at my age when describing the skirt, instead of someone who gave birth to two kids and raising another one.

A new wave of embarrassment stuck me as she reached out and started pulling down my pants. I pulled away, which was a fatal mistake.

'Come on, let's make this happen' Susan sounded authoritarian now. She knelt down, grabbed me by the waist, turned me on the side and pulled my pants down with force.

'Ah, I do not like wearing a skirt!' I cried up, which draw both girls' attention, who stood up from their bed and made a few steps closer to us.

'You do not know whether you like it until you try it!' Susan raised her voice. When I still struggled with the skirt, she got angry. 'Okay, I had enough!' A strong smack hit my bottom and I cried up again. Susan pushed me down on the floor and smacked my butt for a second, then a third, then a fourth time. I was crying loudly and screaming in pain. 'Will you be a good girl again?' Susan has repeatedly asked me while hitting me harder and harder.

'Yes! I will be a good girl!' I shouted.

'You will be a good girl and...?' Susan has asked with her hand in the air ready to hit me again. I was not sure what she meant. I had only one weapon left.

'I will be a good girl... mommy' I said with as much confidence as I could gather at the moment. I tightened my butt and waited for the next hit. The next hit, however, never came. As far as I remember this was the last time Susan has ever spanked me. She stood up, the gently lifted me up and placed me on the bed, laying on my back. I did only realize at this point that I was half naked waist down.

'Okay darling, I believe you. Now let us put this skirt on you.' The skirt fit me like a glove... it sat comfortably on my waist. It wasn't actually that annoying, just a little bit weird. Also, I felt the air coming from below, which made it both exciting and embarrassing.

I stood up with still tears dripping off my face when I saw the girls. They were laughing out loud at me, pointing at my skirt. I wanted to take it off straight away, but Susan knelt down and grabbed my hand not letting me touch the skirt.

'You just need to have some time to get used to this. Come here, let me adjust the back.' my foster mom tried to reassure me and pulled me closer to her again. I found myself laying on her lap face down. She was pulling my skirt to the right, then to the left, then downwards. She reached under it and started adjusting the waistband and the seam inside. I did not want to move, because I was afraid of another smack on my butt.

'That fits you so nicely!' Susan has exclaimed while finishing off with my new skirt. Her hands were swiftly working around the insides of my skirt, moving towards the end-flares. I barely noticed that she was practically moving her hands next my butt crack. I have suddenly felt a small, but cold object pressing against my butthole. Before I noticed that she just gave me a suppository, I was up from the floor standing in front of everyone. First, it looked like, she did not want to disclose anything, but when she saw me gasping, she explained to me what happened:

'Now that we tested the skirt, we need to test the potty for number 2. I gave you a small suppository. It should be enough for you now. Come and sit on it.'

I made a frustrated sound - until today, I am not sure how to put this sound in words - a sound that both tried to communicate my discomfort and my disappointment. Unfortunately, Susan did not seem to pick up any of these. When I saw there is no point of arguing, I headed towards the potty. However, instead of stopping, I went towards the bathroom. Before Susan realized what is happening, I can go into the bathroom and relieve myself on the toilet... or at least that was the plan.

The bathroom door was locked.

'I told you we are locking the bathroom doors.' Susan confirmed the obvious.

'Please, let me not go number 2 on the potty.' I begged to Susan straight off the bat.

'Yes, you have to.' She told me 'I saw you peeing in it yesterday. It will be almost exactly the same. Let us do it!' She encouraged me. It looked like she does not realize how much pressure she subjects me to at that moment. When she saw me tearing up again, she raised her voice again.

'What did you just promised me, eh? You said you will be a good girl. I do not think you are a good girl now. Do you want to be spanked again?' her threats sounded harsher than anytime before. I had no way out of this.

'Please, can I... just one time...' mouth was clearly opening up for a no while her hands were raised up high, ready to strike. 'Please... mommy, just one time.' I called her mommy this time with much more confidence. I got the results I expected. She dropped her hands and made a "ts" sound with her lips. She turned around and told the girls to leave the room. The girls put up some fight wanting to stay and read their comics, but Susan was insisting. After they left, Susan grabbed me and pulled me back in the room.

'Do not be afraid' she said 'Come in with me for a second. Just for a second.' When we were both standing in the room next to the potty, the Erica and Lydia downstairs she continued. 'You are afraid of them looking, right? You feel embarrassed, right?' I nodded. 'That is okay. I remember the first time I was wearing skirts, I felt weird about it. Come here for a hug.'

She pulled me closer and hugged me. My stomach was cramping badly, but the hug itself helped to feel slightly less upset. To my surprise, Susan slid down her arm around the back of my knee, pressed and made me sit on the potty. I wanted to cry up, but the cramps in my stomach got really bad and instead, I moaned and released the suppository. Along the suppository, a large fecal matter dropped in the potty. Susan was still holding me when I finished pooping. I was in tears and could not talk.

'That was so easy, wasn't it?' Susan smiled at me. 'Quick, let me wipe your butt.' She grabbed a large tissue out of her pocket and brushed my butt with it. Once done, she placed it in the potty. She took another tissue and covered my results. 'You see, no mess!' she claimed and left me in the room.

The girls came back later but only stayed for a few minutes. They did not want to smell my poop. I felt somewhat happy because at least I could have the room for myself. I opened the window and let some fresh air in. I even found the pacifier and started sucking on it - the taste helped me to phase out the weird smells. Just an hour later, I found myself laying on be with a pacifier in my mouth, holding Lily, the teddy bear and reading some of the comics the girls left behind.

Susan only took the potty out after the girls complained several times and bedtime was coming up.

Saturday on the playground (also: fever)

The skirt was really weird to wear on Thursday and Friday. However, on Saturday I realized it was so much better than wearing pants. It was easier to move and the fresh breeze under the garment was often times refreshing. I even started playing with it, turning around and around made the skirt fly. The girls laughed at me a few times when they saw me, so I stopped doing the spin in front of them. By Saturday afternoon I felt so confident that I did not care if the girls laugh at me or not. The interesting thing was: the girls did stop laughing at me. It looked like they got used to me doing these stuff. At one point, Lydia has even started cheering for me.

On Saturday afternoon, Susan brought me some pants. 'Why don't we go to the playground now, Jo? Change to pants, I do not think you should wear a skirt outside yet.' She claimed. I suddenly felt sad.

'Ah, can I wear the skirt outside...mommy?' I asked her knowing that calling her "mommy" will help.

'Okay darling, but only this time.' Susan smiled

We all went to the playground. It was nearby so we could all walk. It was a huge place for the small suburban area we lived in. There were a good number of kids there, but you could still have your own space comfortably.

Erica was playing hide-and-seek with Lydia between the bushes bordering the playground. Initially, I went down the slide a few times, then I played in the sandbox with some baby dolls my foster mom brought me. Finally, I ended up on the grass, sort of just rolling around. My foster-mom was sitting nearby with some other people she knew. The grass was tickling my bottom, so I laughed up abruptly.

'Is there a reason he is wearing a skirt?' I overheard one of the women asking my foster-mom.

'Ah, it is just a phase for Jo. Why would I deny it?' foster-mom responded. A few hours passed when she walked up to me, reached into her pocket and pulled out a tab of chocolate.

'You were a very good girl today, Jo. You deserve this.' my foster mom told me.

'Thank you, mom!" I burst out with happiness. Unlike last time, I did not consider this a ruse so I started slowly eating the chocolate while walking home. The girls did not ask for any of that - I guess I taught them a lesson the other time when I licked the chocolate from top-to-bottom. By the time we got home, I finished the whole tab. Nobody seemed to mind it.

I was experiencing some dizziness around bathtime. Susan looked at me worried, she lifted me up and put me on the bed. Her warmth and confident hold of me made me forget about the world for a second.

'Jo, you seem to be feverish. Rest a little.' She told me while petting my head. 'Turn around, I can rub your back.' Mom started gently moving her hand up and down my body. It felt very comforting. She reached over my head and found the pacifier. I did not resist when she placed it in my mouth. I even grabbed my blankie and held closer to me. I was very vulnerable.

'Erica, darling, could you bring the thermometer for Jo?' I heard mom asking her daughter. She kept rubbing my back for another few minutes when I heard Erica arriving. 'Thank you love' mom told her and then turned towards me. 'Stay like this, Jo. I am just going to take your temperature.

She reached under my skirt and touched my panties. She slid them on the side. I thought I am going to get a suppository, so I started moving, but Susan held me down. 'Darling, stop moving this will not hurt. Trust me. You might feel some cold, but it will not hurt. Trust me.'

Normally, when my foster mom said something like "trust me" - especially twice - I knew I should not trust her at all. For some reason though, maybe because of the chocolate or because of allowing me to wear my skirt all days, I wanted to make an exception. When a cold object hit my bottom, I gasped, but unlike the suppository, no further discomfort followed.

'It is okay, right? Just a bit of cold. But it is okay, now.' mom has comforted me 'I am just taking your temperature. It is in your butt because that gives me the best idea if you have a fever or not.' She was holding the thermometer in my butt and my cheeks together with the same hand. Her other hand kept massaging me.

A few minutes past when she took it thermometer out.

'Okay darling, there is no fever here. Maybe the chocolate was too much today. Or maybe you are coming down sick. I will start taking your temperature every day from now on and make sure you will not get sick.' She sounded happy because I had no fever. I felt happy because she kept holding me in her arms. I was concerned about the thermometer a bit, but after all the suppositories, it was barely anything frightening.

I slept really well that night.

Sunday

On Sunday, after breakfast, we were playing in the living room. Susan came in with my blue skirt and a pink top. I was dressed naked in front of the girls, who were still in their pajamas. They were whispering to each other and I was trying to hide my body parts.

'You should not be ashamed in front of Erica and Lydia, they already saw you naked.' Susan exclaimed. Her voice was much colder than the days before. I realized I was thinking of her more of a "Susan" when she was harsh and more a "mom" when she was warm. I did not think she knew that her behavior was very counter-productive in some cases; when she wanted me to call her "mom" she was harsh, so I thought less of her as a "mom". I wasn't sure how to handle any of these observations.

Susan sat me on the sofa and put the pink top on me first. Then the blue skirt followed. I was still not wearing any underwear when she turned me around and placed me on the bed on my belly.

'We will take your temperature quickly.' she said to which I reacted quite badly: I moaned and tried moving away. Not sure what hit me but I did not want my temperature taken by this woman. I wanted my temperature taken by mom and not Susan.

'Wo-Wo-Wo, where are you going, Jo? Stay here. It is going to be alright darling. You can dance around in your skirt after this, okay?' The fact that she did not threaten me or raised her voice helped me to calm down. I stopped making sounds and just laid there. Mom lifted my skirt up and gently pressed the thermometer in my butt. 'It is going to be okay darling, let me rub you while we wait.' then she turned to Erica and said something to her I could not hear.

When we finished, she turned me around again, now facing her. Erica was standing behind her, just placing the potty in the middle of the living room. I realized that it was time to sit on the potty, but did not want to.

'Darling? You have been so good this week. Sit on the potty for me, will you?' mom has said with kindness in her eyes. 'I can give you a surprise if you do... maybe another bar of chocolate' I thought another bar of chocolate would be excellent and I can put up with sitting on the potty as long as I get it first. When I asked for it first, however, Susan has sterned her voice, although not as much as some of the past days. 'No, definitely no. First potty, then chocolate. Come on, you can do it, I believe you.'

It took another minute of encouragement for me to stand up and sit on the potty. My skirt has nicely spread around me, barely revealing what I was sitting on. Mom gave me Lily as well, so I found myself quite cozy on the potty. Erica and Lydia were watching the TV, and I decided to face the same direction. After all, mom never said if I should do anything on the potty, only suggested to sit on it.

A few minutes past when mom came up and sat down next to me. She grabbed the flare on the skirt and lifted it up: I had no doubt that she wanted to check if I did produce anything. She dropped it with some concerned look. She turned around and invited Erica over. Lydia remained behind watching TV.

'Erica darling, Jo has a pretty skirt right?' she asked casually from her daughter, to which Erica nodded awkwardly. 'Now, I will sit here and comfort Jo, she needs to practice sitting on the potty. What I would like to do is that I will lift Jo's skirt up and you can put a suppository inside her.' She took out an unwrapped suppo and handed it to Erica.

I wanted to stand up straight away, but Susan kept holding me down with her embrace. I have only managed to lift myself up a few inches. Susan instead of pushing me back down decided to keep me slightly up the air. 'It is okay, Jo, you are a good girl right. Think about the chocolate you will be getting.'

'But mommy, I do not need to do a doo-doo' I exclaimed going straight to call her mommy. Unfortunately, this time Susan did not change her attitude.

'I know darling, that is why we give you a suppository. You know what we agreed on weeks ago, you still remember right?' why she kept talking to me, she lifted my skirt up, revealing my butt to Erica. 'If you are a good girl, you will get chocolate and rubbing. Think about chocolates and rubbing.'

I did start to think about these stuffs and somewhat it helped. I relaxed and let mom hold me in her arms. I was no longer resisting, just sitting in this deep squat position, mom holding me tight. When Erica lifted my skirt up and mom folded the skirt under her arm. Erica placed the suppository against my butt hole and pushed it in. I think there was already some cream on it because it slid in quickly. I also did not feel any pain.

Mom held my buttcheeks together for a few minutes then placed me back on the potty. I started feeling the urge straight after Erica gave me the suppo, so the release came quick.

This time, mom wiped my butt and took the potty out straight away. I sat next to Lydia and finished watching TV with them. For the rest of the day, I was running around in a skirt without panties on.

Coming up: Week 5!

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Original post: https://lifewithsuppository.wordpress.com/2019/04/12/the-long-regression-week-4-extended/