Ages & Stages - Part 19
UPDATED 03/06/2019 - ADDED CLOSING PARAGRAPHS TO CHAPTER TO IMPROVE FLOW OF STORY
While John slept, Karen gathered his schoolwork together to review in her own room. She removed her blouse and got herself comfortable on her bed. After getting the breast pump started on her right side, she grabbed a red pen and John's papers, along with the answer keys given by his teachers. Karen was pleasantly surprised by the accuracy of John's mathematical calculations: he managed to get a 100% on his paper! So out of character for a pre-teen boy that loved to goof off. Perhaps this new lifestyle was helping him concentrate on his work. As she went about correcting his papers, Karen moved the pump from the right to the left breast. She was thrilled to see the results of his home schooling: between Math, Science, Social Studies, and English, he was obtaining an average grade of 97% and if she hadn't counted the two misspellings on his history paper, it would have been 98%.
When she had finished with John's home-schoolwork, Karen shut down the pump, and slipped into the hallway. Peering into John's room, she could see her baby sleeping soundly. Karen tiptoed into John's room, and noticing his baby bottle was empty and lying beside his pillow, she picked it up. She reached over to his nightstand and retrieved a pacifier, which she slowly worked between his lips. John stirred slightly, and then started sucking on the paci. Karen smiled at this, here was her baby, enjoying his nap, all the while sucking away on his binky.
Karen returned to her room, grabbed a gob of coconut oil, and began massaging her breasts. Stimulation was the key to relactation, or so she had read on the internet. Karen remembered about the herbs she needed to take. She went to the kitchen to get another dose of Milk Thistle; this was her third dose since returning home last night. Karen knew that taking fenugreek would also help and had already started with that, since finding an old bottle of the herb in the box with the breast pump. She was becoming excited at the prospect of producing milk. According to the numerous articles she had read, Karen could expect to see some milk production start with-in the next three to ten days, although full production might not be for a month or two. As Karen massaged her breasts, she pictured John suckling at them. Although her original intention was to pump and express her milk, the idea of returning him to her breast was becoming more inviting each time she thought of it. Karen laid back and continued to massage and daydream about the return of her baby. She slipped into the area between sleep and daydreams, and as she dreamed of John suckling, it seemed almost real.
Suddenly she opened her eyes. Glancing at her watch, Karen noticed that was well past two o'clock, so she should be getting her baby up soon. She tossed on her robe and headed to the kitchen, to make up another baby bottle. She didn't want to force a bowel movement, but gently coax it along, so this time she returned to the quarter teaspoon of MiraLAX© in his bottle. Since he had been so anxious to take a baby bottle to bed for his nap, perhaps he would accept one upon waking. With bottle in hand, Karen made her way into John's room. She noticed an odor emanating from his bottom, and smiled to herself, "Did he actually poop in his sleep?" she pondered. Karen gently removed his pacifier, and held the baby bottle's nipple against John's lips, and he latched on immediately. John lightly grasped the battle, and while he held the baby bottle, she picked him up. She carried him to her overstuffed chair in her room, sat down and put him across her lap. Here again, she was able to hold him so that his cheek would rest against her bare breast, and she could feel him rhythmically sucking the formula from the bottle.
As John drank, he became more aware of his surroundings. Around the nipple, he managed to say, "Mommy, I gots ta go poop."
"I think you already did," Karen pointed out.
"No... I just farted," John half-heartedly protested.
"Finish your baa baa first," Karen instructed, "then I will change your diaper. If you gotta finish pooping, use your diaper."
John was confused by this sudden acceptance of his babyish behavior. Here he was, twelve-years-old, lying in his mommy's arms, nursing a baby bottle, and now he was about to fill his wet diaper with poop. Karen ran her free hand between his legs and under his bottom. She prodded and squeezed gently, but couldn't find any evidence of a bowel movement. "Maybe he did only fart," she thought to herself, "but if he stays here long enough, then he will have no choice, and he will fill his diaper." Then aloud she said, "You are my baby, and I love you, no matter what. You can go poopie for Mommy, it's alright. Mommy won't be mad. Mommy doesn't want her baby to get sick, if you keep holding it in, it could make you very sick... just go ahead and go poopie in your diaper, it's okay."
Karen didn't have to wait very long, moments later John pulled his knees forward and, bearing down, pushed his warm sticky load into his diaper. He closed his eyes, and pictured himself at a much earlier age, being held and fed by his mother, as he freely filled his pants. Karen was pleasantly surprised as his load entered his diaper. He was regressing as she held him, releasing the full contents of his bowels into the waiting cloth. She could feel the lump grow in size, as she cupped her hand on the outside of his baby pants.
"What a good baby!" she cooed. "I am so proud of my little boy! You are so special. Dr. McDade is probably right, you are becoming a baby again, and I am so happy to care for you!" John smiled around the nipple, as he felt her boob press against his cheek. This did seem so right. Maybe he really was supposed to be a baby for a bit longer. Soon his bottle was empty, so Karen set John down on the floor and announced that she had some housework to do.
John just looked up at her, dumfounded, "What about my diaper? I pooped."
"Well, you go play for a little bit in the living room," Karen told him, as she popped a pacifier into his waiting mouth, "Just in case you're not finished. Most little boys will wear their dirty diapers for a little while, because most little boys usually poop a little bit more afterwards. I will change you in a little while, but I am not going to change your diaper and then have you poop another one right away. Just in case there's more, we will wait just a little while, just to be sure you're finished."
The words made sense to John, and although it felt a bit unusual, he rather liked the feeling of his load hugging his bottom, as he walked to the living room. John sat down with his baby blocks, and as he did so, the load spread out, up to his butt crack and down to the back of his balls. If being a baby meant that this was the worst of it, he could get used to this once again.
A little after three o'clock Karen entered the play area. "C'mon stinky buns, let's go get your dirty diaper changed," she said as she handed him a fresh baby bottle of formula, and led him to her room.
John was actually becoming accustomed to the load in his diaper, and as he had played it had spread out quite a bit more, as it was now forcing it's way out of his diaper, between his legs, and into his baby pants. As Karen lifted him onto the changing table, she could see the poop smeared along the inner cuffs of his baby pants. After removing his socks, Karen grabbed his ankles and lifted his feet into the air, as she pulled the baby pants loose from under his bottom, then carefully slid them off, trying very carefully not to smear poop onto his legs or feet. She tossed them into the mop pail she had set beside the changing table.
Karen removed one diaper pin and then the other and stuck them into a bar of soap on the end of the table. She carefully peeled the diaper open to appraise the damage. John had very soft poop smeared all the way forward to the base of his penis. His scrotum was fully coated with the brown sticky mess. She lifted his ankles into the air, and while sliding the dirty diaper forward she managed to wipe some of the mess off his bottom. She reached into the wipe warmer and started cleaning John's bottom and balls.
It took several swipes with the baby wipes to get him presentably clean. Now, while some mothers might object to this extreme diaper duty, Karen was elated to be tending to her baby this way, once again. The years of having John potty trained seemed to melt away, as if they had never existed. It felt as if this had always been her routine and duty.
Karen grabbed one more baby wipe and gave John a final going-over. Next came the baby oil, Desitin, and baby powder. Once he was well coated, she slid three more diapers and a liner under him. Karen spread John's legs, and pulled the infantile cloth up between his legs and over his tummy. Just as she was about to pin the garment in place, Karen leaned forward and put her mouth in the middle of John's tummy, and blew! "Tummy farts!" she cried, as she continued to blow on his midsection. John giggled, just like any other toddler getting tummy farts. Karen continued this play and John continued to giggle and laugh aloud. She hadn't seen him so carefree and happy in such a long time!
The play continued for several minutes, and then she finished pinning him up and slid a pair of circus animal print baby pants up his legs and over his diaper. Karen tucked the loose ends of the diaper into his baby pants, and then sat him up. John set aside his half-empty baby bottle as she slid his new green "Whiz Kid" shirt over his head, followed by a pair of snap-crotch short-alls. Karen helped John off the changing table and handed him his baa baa. John headed off to his play area as Karen gathered up their coats, some coupons, and quickly packed the diaper bag with a few of his baby supplies. Karen called John to the kitchen.
"Where are we going, Mommy?" John asked.
"Just a quick run to Walmart," she answered, "to pick up a couple of things. You are nearly out of formula, and I need a couple of other items."
As soon as they entered Walmart, Karen removed his snowsuit, and put john into the baby seat of a cart and made a beeline to the baby department. After giving John his pacifier, she set about finding the first item on her list, which was a decent diaper pail. After surveying the offerings, Karen was a bit disappointed that nearly all of the diaper pails available were for disposable diapers only. She finally found one for cloth diapers, but decided that it wouldn't hurt to get one of the pails for disposable diapers as well. Karen stopped in front of the formula display.
"Which one do you want?" she asked.
"I don't know, I liked the third one best last night," John answered.
"Hmm... I don't see that one. It is from Germany, so we probably won't find it around here. Did you like the others?"
"I liked all of them," John said, "The first one was good, the second one was better, and the third one was best."
"Well, let's see... the second one was Plum Organics Grow Well™ formula..." she said as she searched, "Oh, here it is!" Karen picked up two cases of the formula and placed them into the cart. As she pushed John around the infant's department, she saw many items that gave her more ideas. She tossed a pack of baby washcloths into her cart, along with some baby biscuits. Karen stopped a moment to look at the cribs on display, but wasn't particularly impressed with any of them. They were definitely too small and probably wouldn't hold John's weight. This made her think again about the cribs at Baby Lane, perhaps she should talk to Dr. McDade about prescribing a "safety bed" as the clerk at Baby Lane had called it.
As she pushed John around the store, he became slowly aware of the dampness between his legs. His body seems to have stopped sending the signal when he needed to void. His bladder no longer sent an alarm to his brain when it was full, in fact, it never became full, and it would seem that it was on "automatic empty". John realized that he no longer peed forcefully in gushes or streams, but seemed, instead, to dribble constantly, like the bathroom sink faucet that a child forgot to close fully. Although his stream was small, just like that bathroom sink, it was amazing as to how fast it could fill the vessel and in his case, the vessel was his diaper.
As Karen circled throughout the store, up one aisle and down the next, John was becoming a bit uncomfortable, as his diaper was now threatening to leak. As they reached the checkout, Karen lifted John out of the cart, placing her arm under his bottom. She could feel the dampness that was now escaping his diaper and creating two half-moon shaped semi-circles in the back of his short-alls. As his mommy set him down on his feet, she twirled him around 180 degrees and inspected his clothing. "Your diaper is leaking!" she announced, loud enough that several other shoppers turned to look at John. Karen quickly finished her order, slipped his coat on him, and led John back to the car. She carried his snow pants, because she didn't want to get those wet with his pee as well.
Karen laid John on the rear seat, pooped a baby bottle into his mouth, and unsnapped the crotch of his short-alls. She removed his baby pants, and unpinned the over saturated cloth from his groin. Karen wiped John's diaper area with baby wipes and retrieved a Pampers 7 and two doublers from her diaper bag, and quickly bundled the big baby back up. She reached into the bag on the floor and grabbed a clean short-all, and in seconds she had him in fresh dry clothing. Now his snow pants could go back on. After putting him in his car seat, Karen drove to a KFC.
Karen parked the car and then removed the bottle from John's hands. She picked John up, out of his car seat, handed him his pacifier, and carried him inside. Once they were in where the air was warm, she removed his snowsuit, as well as her own coat, and set them in a booth. Taking John by the hand, they headed to the counter. Karen ordered a three-piece chicken dinner for herself and a kid's meal for John. After receiving their order, she sat themselves down and poured the milk into a sippy cup. She tied a bib around John's neck, and although they were out in public, this didn't seem to bother John, as it once would have. John's pacifier went onto his plate while he ate his chicken leg, and his mommy spoon-fed him the side of vegetables. There were several people that noticed the big baby, but no one said anything to them, so apparently people must have figured that he was either just a very large toddler, or maybe a "special needs" child.
John did notice people looking at him. He wasn't sure if it was the sippy cup, or the bib, or maybe the bulge of his diaper, that caught their attention. "That's their problem," thought John, "I am just a baby, so they should just get over it!" Wait! Did he rally just think that? Was he really a baby? Didn't he used be twelve years old? But, wasn't nursing at his mommy's boobs one of his great desires? John was lost in thought when he felt his mommy put his sippy up to his lips.
"I think somebody is a little tired," Karen deduced, "You've got a big day tomorrow, so when we get home, we're going to get you to bed early tonight."
After returning home, the remainder of the evening was pretty well uneventful. As Karen did a little housework, John sat on his padded bottom and played with his Legos. From time-to-time, Karen looked in on her baby, musing about how scared she had been of his growing up so rapidly. It was just a short time ago that John was pushing the teenaged years, getting mouthy and withdrawing from her, but now he had returned to an earlier state of dependency. John seemed so content with his return to infancy, and Karen couldn't be happier. The only questions left for her to ponder were how far he might regress, and for how long would she have her baby, before he decided to resume growing up?
A little before seven o'clock Karen returned to the living room to gather up her child to bathe him. Karen laid John on the changing table and upon removing his diaper was surprised to see a small amount of stool deposited in the seat. It wasn't exactly a full bowel movement, about a tablespoon full, probably enough so that he should have felt it sitting there. "You pooped a little, Baby," she commented. Then asked, "Did you know you pooped? Or did it just come out by itself?"
John was shocked. Every time he had pooped, he was fully aware of his actions, but this was a new development. "I didn't know it, Mommy. I'm sorry," he said. How could this have happened? This was only confirmation that he was, indeed, becoming a baby.
"Don't be sorry, Honey... It's alright... Sometimes little poops will sneak out of little boys without any warning," she consoled him. "You are my baby boy, and baby boys sometimes poop their diapers with-out knowing. You were so busy playing with your Legos, you probably just forgot about it." Though meant to console him, this line of reasoning only added to John's feelings of regression.
After getting John in the tub and cleaned up, Karen dressed him in his cloth night diaper and pajamas. Karen made a point of putting in a diaper liner, and this action was not lost on John, who only saw it as another confirmation of his return to infancy. She led him to the living room where he returned to his toys for a short time. Karen took a quick bath and slipped on her loose robe once again. She entered the living room and asked John, "Do you want a sippy or a baa baa for cuddle time?"
John thought about it for only a second, "Baa baa, Mommy. It's easier to drink from when I am laying down."
Karen was quick to retrieve a warm baby bottle, with an added half-teaspoon of MiraLAX©. Just as the previous night, she had John kneel at the couch to say his nighttime prayers.
Karen sat on the couch and laid John across her lap. Once again, she positioned him so that his cheek rested firmly against her bare breast as he nursed. Neither one knew that the other was picturing John latched onto Karen's nipple as he drank the sweet formula down. By eight o'clock John was fast asleep and Karen carried him to his room. She went to her bedroom and got herself positioned on her bed with a "Mommies" magazine she had picked up at the store, and the her trusty breast pump. After 15 minutes on each breast, she switched the pump off and grabbed a gob of coconut oil for her breast massage. As Karen kneaded her right breast, she detected a single drop of liquid as it escaped her nipple. This brought a smile to her face. "It won't be long now," she thought, "I'll be filling Baby's bottles with my own milk." As she massaged her left breast, she was delighted to produce two drops of liquid.
Finally, Karen pulled up her covers and slipped off to dreamland, where she spent her time caring for her baby. In her dream, John was small, maybe three or four years old. She dreamed of dressing, changing, and bathing her baby, and she felt so fulfilled.
Ages & Stages - Part 19