My second visit to the mall occurred when I was 4 1/2 or so. It was a rather hot day and in the middle of summer. A lot had happened since my last visit. I was walking, talking, and using the toilet nowadays. Getting me potty trained was no easy ordeal, as I was unwilling to give up my diapers. However, once I tried the toilet a couple of times I realized it wasn't so bad. Besides, all my friends were already trained ahead of me.

For some inexplicable reason, I began having accidents (day and night) again 2 weeks before my 2nd visit to the mall. It is quite normal for children who have recently been potty trained (I was a mere 8 months ago) to do this. My parents realized this and didn't get too angry at me; they just made up their mind to put me back in diapers until the phase ended. I wasn't overly wild about the idea at first, then my fond memories of diapers began to come back. Though I secretly wanted them still, I pretended to be reluctant. Unfortunately, the only diapers they were able to get were cheap and ill-fitting. That was one of the reasons for the second visit to the mall.

I was a little apprehensive during the trip there. My sister kept teasing me, but I didn't worry too much about that. I was more concerned about my appearance. At 4 1/2 years old, diapers made you seem more like a baby then a kid, and that wasn't the direction I wanted to be heading in. Or was it? I was pretty small and could pass myself off as a 2 or 3 year old. In which case it would be perfectly natural for me to be wearing diapers. The only things that I could possibly worry about was one of my nursery school friends recognizing me, but that wasn't too likely. Besides, the diapers I had on were pretty damn thin (albeit noisy), so I could probably still hide it anyway.

The mall was even better than I remember it. There were more stores and even a water fountain! Unfortunately, Macy's was there was well. I nearly threw a fit when I found out that was where we were heading. My mom warned me to quiet down or she'd spank me. She issued the same threat to my sister if she didn't stop teasing me.

I was very excited when I noticed that my mom wasn't headed for the women's clothing department in Macy's. Maybe we could be headed someplace fun! We took an escalator up and entered....the baby department?! Why are we headed there?

"Mommy, why are we going to the baby place?" I asked.

"To get you your diapers," she said a little bit more loudly than I would have liked.

"But I'm not a baby."

"I know you're not, but this is where they sell diapers."

I frowned and resigned myself to the fact that this made me a baby. We entered the department and began looking around the diaper section. They had hundreds of different types of diapers in all different sizes. I was amazed!

"Can I help you?" asked a salesperson.

"Yes," my mom answered. "I'm looking for some diapers for my son Steven." She patted me on the head and I blushed.

"Well, how old is he?"

"4 1/2."

"Late trainer? My nephew was the same way."

"No actually he's trained. He's just been having some accidents lately. You know how it is."

"Oh, I see. Well, that shouldn't be too much of a problem. We have a large variety, so we'll start from step 1. Which kind do you prefer, cloth or disposable?"

"Cloth is better for at home, but he has to have something to wear out of the house, so I guess we'll need both."

"Good. Now as far as disposable goes, they have a size chart on the back of these," she said, pointing to a blue package marked Youth Diapers. "But for the cloth we'll have to take some measurements."

"No problem. Steven, pull down your shorts so the nice lady can measure your waist."

"No!" I answered. I knew it usually wasn't a good idea to cross my mom, but I was getting very embarrassed and irritated. My sister giggling at me didn't help matters any.

"Right now, Steven, or you'll get a spanking."

I didn't want to make matters worse any, so I reluctantly lowered my shorts. The cheap, generic diaper I had on was now in plain sight and I felt pretty bad.

"My goodness, he's soaked," exclaimed the salesperson.

"I'll change him once we get this sorted out." A tape measure was run around my waist, and my mom was presented with a dozen thick, snow white cloth diapers in my size. She was also given a few pairs of plastic pants. One clear, one blue, and one pair camouflaged army color. Those I might actually enjoy wearing!

After my diapers were purchased, I was taken to the dressing room. There was a changing table there, which my mom made me lie down on. I asked Leeann if she can leave, but mom said she'd seen me being changed before and it was no big deal. Mom removed my sodden diaper and powdered me pretty well. Next, she took one of the disposable youth- sized diapers and slid it under me. She taped it shut and gave me a moment to adjust. It certainly was thick! I felt like I was sitting on a pillow.

We encountered a problem when trying to get my shorts back on! They wouldn't fit. Much to my dismay, I was told that I would have to wear just my diapers. I felt so embarrassed to be going around in just diapers and pestered my mom frequently about it. Finally, she got really fed up and told me I was a spoiled brat. She dragged me over to a bench, took down my diaper and spanked me right there. Now I was embarrassed and hurting. I threw a bloody fit until we were out of there. During the car ride home I continued to be a spoiled brat and my mom continued to tell em to quiet down until she at last told my sister to quite me down. Leeann took a Ring pop and shoved it gently into my mouth. It was kind of an apology from her for getting me into trouble, and it did its job by shutting me up. I sat quietly the rest of the ride home letting my bottom heal. When I got home, my mom made me go around in that diaper for what seemed like an eternity. I had pooped in it and wet it twice and wanted to be changed. Mom wanted to test out its capacity and refused to do so, so I threw another fit. This time she waited until my dad got home. At that point, my bottom was wiped up, and I was spanked...and placed into extremely thick cloth diapers and plastic pants to wear to bed. I stayed in diapers more or less for the rest of the summer, even though my accidents subsided for that point. It was a bit of a punishment. Needles to say I now resented the mall and was determined to get revenge upon it, as dumb as that sounds.