Views: 1357 Created: 2019.01.30 Updated: 2019.01.31

Alan Challenger

The 4th Phase of my life sex history

Part 24

8th October 1969

At school on the Wednesday, I was keeping a very low profile when Jackie Wright came over to talk to me. She said that she needed to talk to me and could I go up to her house in the evening, after tea. Well, to be honest that was the last place I wanted to be. She obviously noticed my reluctance to accept this. However, Jackie was excellent at reading situations and continued by saying it would be fine if I waited till after 7:30, as she knew that her sister was going out then.

I said that I would think about it and she just smiled and said that she would fully understand if I didn’t want to go up there again but she would like to talk about things.

So, after tea I told my mum I was going out and she immediately guessed where to. She thought I was going to make it up with Jean but I told her that I was hoping not to see her.

It must have been well after 7:30 when I arrived and Jackie let me in and then called to her Mum that it was only Alan and we went into the lounge. I didn’t really know why she had invited me round, and in the beginning, I must have been reticent to say much. We sat down in the lounge (not together) and the first things she said was that I should not worry as Jean would not be back for some time. She continued, as if an explanation was needed, that she had gone out with a boy. To be honest I don’t think this affected me much as I sort of expected it in a way. I remember there being a bit of an awkward silence as if she was lost for words. Eventually she said that she was very sorry that Jean and I had fallen out. It was soon obvious that Jean had told her elder sister about what had happened be. Or rather, what had not happened. She went on to say that I had been her(Jean’s) first real love and thought that we were really suited to each other. However, once Jackie started to talk about things she did say quite a lot. She did explain that, although she had gone off boys altogether, due to what had happened to her, she thought the way her sister had treated me as really bad. She told me that really the only reason for Jean to give me the push was that I showed no interesting in “doing things” with her. She went on to explain that she thought her sister was mad for throwing me out for this. She said that it was her sister that was in the wrong with her raging hormones and not me. She thought it was disgusting what Jean had done at the age of 15 !! Jackie said that she wanted to say something about it to her mum but she had decided not to.

I started to explain why I reacted in the way I did. I told Jackie that it was because Jean was still so young. (To be honest, this had not occurred to me. The real reason was just me being scared of such things) However, Jackie accepted my explanation but I’m not sure if she believed me.

She said that it did not really matter why I had not done things, the important things was that I seemed to have more sense.

It was about at this time that mum came into then room to watch the TV. She suggested that Jackie should take me up to her room if we still wanted to chat. I followed Jackie up the stairs and into her bedroom. It was bigger than Jeans but very tidy. She told me to sit on the one chair and she sat on the end of her bed.

Her next direct question did shake me a bit. She said that Jean had told her about some rumours about me and asked if I was homosexual. I can’t really say what my reaction was but it was not an easy question to face coming from a person that used to be my pedestal girl. I had nothing to lose now so I thought honesty would be the best policy.

I told her about the Rudies club and what we used to there when I was 12 or 13. She did not appear shocked about this revelation at all! She asked if it still existed and I said a confident No.

After my long and detailed explanation, she just looked at me and said that it was obvious I was quite normal, as it had just been a phase. She had seen her sister and me snogging and could not possibly see how I could be called a homosexual.

She went on again how mad her sister had been for giving up somebody like me. She really was building up my confidence which I really liked. She said that there would be many girls out there who would love to go out with me. She bet that I would have a nice girl friend before the end of the month. I remember telling her that she was very kind but that I still found it difficult being in school where there were all the rumours. She said not to worry, as they will die away. We talked a bit about general things; Life in the sixth form and what came next. It was getting late and to be honest I thought I aught to go. This talk with Jackie had given me a big pick-me-up.

I stood up and said that I was really pleased that I had decided to come over and that she had really helped me.

She went on to say that she knows what it is like to hit rock bottom. She had done it after the verdict from the court about her rape case. I remember telling her that many people were on her side, even a number of the boys. I think I said something about its not good to stay at the rock bottom. I told her I felt a bit like that but already trying to climb back up.

We were both now standing up. She said that she had remembered me being there on that awful night and how I had let her hug me. She said she will never forget me for that whatever happens. She said something about me being on the low side and said that she would love to re-pay what I had given to her. Then without saying anymore, she just came up to me and hugged me. I put my arms around her and started to cry ! Of course, I tried to compose myself after the few seconds we were hugging. She saw the tears in my eyes and said she was sorry but thanked me and said that she had wanted to do something like that ever since that fateful evening.

We went back down the stairs and she opened the door to let me out. Her parting words were for me to cheer up and keep her in touch.

Comments

AlanC 5 years ago