I stood outside the clinic a moment to gather myself before going in. "Dr Kelly Curtis, MD. Obstetrician/Gynecologist" read the plaque on the door. I was not looking forward to this appointment as I had missed the last one without calling and I suspected my doctor would not be happy about it.
However, the only other OB/GYN in town was a crusty old man who should have retired 10 years ago. He had the bedside manner of a rattlesnake coming out of hibernation and looking for it's first meal since the fall. His hands were as cold as his demeanor and he seemed to pay no attention to his patient's comfort when doing exams.
Dr Curtis was the total opposite. He was kind and caring and had the patience of Job. I was not the easiest patient to deal with, but he had always been so nice, and when he needed to be firm, he was not harsh. He was more gentle than any other doctor I had had. I knew I had to go in, he had been treating me for endometriosis. The medication he had given me was working and my pain had abated for a while, but it was coming back. I did not want to stop attending the follow up appointments in case it kept getting worse. So I knew I had to face the music about my missed appointment.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. The waiting room was empty. I knew I had the last appointment of the day, but I was hoping the doctor would be behind schedule with a few patients left to see before me. No such luck.
I walked up to the receptionist's desk and handed her my health card. She swiped it and told me to take a seat. "The doctor will be with you shortly".
I chose a chair by the door in case I decided to bolt. There was a pile of magazines on the table beside me and I picked up the top one and flipped through it, but did not read anything in it. I had a policy of never reading articles while waiting as inevitably, I'd be in the middle of a good one when I got called in.
Glancing up from the magazine, I saw Dr Curtis talking to Ms McCann, the nurse/receptionist. He was a tall man in his late 40's with short black hair that had flecks of grey in it, and striking blue eyes. If only he wasn't my ob/gyn.....
The doctor picked up a chart and walked out to the waiting room, calling my name. "Ms Kent, come on in" he said in soft, calm voice.
I put the magazine down, stood up and followed him down the hallway. He entered Exam Room 2, and told me to have a seat beside the desk. He sat down and opened my chart, reading the last entry. My heart was pounding. I glanced around the room, seeing the exam table in front of me, stirrups waiting. No matter how gentle any doctor was, I, like most women - dare I say all? - dread being in them, legs spread wide with my private parts being examined, poked and prodded by someone I barely knew.
Dr Curtis finished reading my chart and looked at me over his reading glasses. I tried to read his face, looking for some sign of his mood, but failed to find any trace of emotion. He'd make a good poker player, I thought.
"I see you missed your last appointment", he said.
"Yes", I replied in a timid voice. I am not normally like this, in fact I'm usually quite assertive. "I had a mare in labour and could not leave her as she has a history of problem foalings".
"You could not have called to let us know?"
"I was going to but then her water broke and everything just happened so fast and I didn't even think about the appointment again until the next day."
"You need to work on that forgetfulness, Janice", he said with a sternness in his voice I had not heard before.
"Yes, Dr Curtis. I am sorry".
"Now, how have you been feeling?", he asked, changing the subject.
"Not as bad as it was at it‘s worst" I replied, relieved that he seemed to have dropped the subject of my missing last week's appointment.
"But you are having pain again?”
“I will need to examine you to see what is going on", he said. "But first, we need to deal with your misbehaviour."
"Missing an appointment without letting us know".
"I thought we did deal with it" I said, wondering where he was going with this. My anxiety, which had settled down, began to rise again.
The doctor looked at me with a stern look. "We talked about it and you gave me your excuse, but we aren't finished. Now, come over here". He set his glasses down on the desk, got up and went over to the small stool he sat on while doing speculum exams.
I gave him a puzzled look, but stood up and walked over to where he was.
"Pull your pants and panties down to your knees and bend over my lap."
"What???" I asked, not sure I'd heard him right.
"Do as I say", Dr Curtis replied in a voice that said he was to be obeyed. "Pull your pants and panties down and bend over my lap. I am not going to ask a third time."
I did as instructed, my mind reeling. I began to tremble, wondering what was going on. What was he going to do? This was so weird!
"You need to be punished for your forgetfulness", he said sternly. "My time is valuable and another patient could have had that time slot - someone who would have kept the appointment."
I felt his hand smack my butt cheek and stood up in shock. "Oh, no you don't", my doctor said. "Get back down. Now." His voice was stern, but not harsh. I found myself obeying, and laid over his lap once again.
I winced as his hand came down again - and again, and again. After what seemed like an eternity, it was over. My butt was stinging. I tried to get up, but a strong hand on my back made it impossible to do.
"Now, Janice", the doctor said in a tone resembling a teacher reprimanding an unruly student, "What have we learned?"
I lay there silently, determined to not give him the satisfaction of an answer. After a minute, I felt another slap on my behind. "Answer me, or the spanking will resume. What have we learned?"
I didn’t say a word. Screw you, I thought. Then his hand came down on my bare bottom again. And again. And again. Another eternity seemed to pass. His smacks were getting harder and now I could feel tears in my eyes. He was spanking first one cheek, then the other. Back and forth.
Finally, it stopped. Once again, the doctor asked me what I had learned.
I knew that I was not going to be able to get up until I answered. Even though I did not want to cave in, I found my self saying "To not miss appointments without calling in", in a quavering voice.
"That's right. It took you a while, but you did learn".
"Can I get up now?" I asked.
"No. I'm going to take your temperature. It needs to be done during the exam anyway, I might as well do it now".
"You can't take it with me lying here", I said, then it dawned on me *how* he was going to take my temp. "Oh, no .... no way!"
"Yes way", came the reply. "It's the most accurate way to do it." I could feel him reaching for something on the counter next to him. What more humiliating things does he have in store for me, I wondered. While I thought about complaining to his licensing body, I knew I wouldn't. He had an effect on me that I couldn't explain.
"Ms McCann surely heard that spanking", I said. "I expect she will be coming to investigate the noise."
"No, she won't. I sent her home. Nobody is here but you and I."
I resigned myself to what was going to happen as I heard the snap of a glove being placed on his hand. "Now I am going to put some lubrication on you", Dr Curtis said as his finger touched my anus and moved in a small circle, spreading the gel around. It was cold against my skin.
After a moment, he removed his finger and spoke again. "I'm putting more lubricant on. You are going to feel pressure, just relax for me and let my finger enter you. Take a deep breath and hold it."
I did as instructed, but flinched a bit as he put his gloved finger on my sphincter and slowly, gently began to push it in. I tensed up even more and could feel my heart pounding. Forgetting the order to hold my breath, I exhaled before being told to. I feared I was going to hyperventilate. "Relax" he instructed again and held his finger still with just the tip inside me. I tried to relax, but couldn't. "Relax, Janice" my doctor said, this time in a soft voice. "I am not going to hurt you. It will go in easier if you are relaxed." Patiently, he kept telling me to relax.
To my surprise, I found myself calming down under his soothing voice. My heart rate slowed as did my breathing. When he saw that I was finally relaxed enough, the doctor pushed his finger in further, and in the process, lubing the inside of my anus. "You are doing great, just a moment more".
"Ok", he said as he pulled his finger out of me. "I'm going to put some on the thermometer and then insert it. It is much smaller than my finger and you are now well lubricated, so it won't hurt a bit". I couldn't see him, but could sense him reaching for the thermometer on the counter.
After a few seconds, I heard him say "Here it comes. Remember to relax". I felt the bulb on me and then it being pushed just inside my sphincter. "This has to stay in for 3 minutes to get an accurate reading."
It was the longest 3 minutes of my life. I felt self conscious laying there across my doctor's lap with my butt bared and a thermometer in it. I had not had my temperature taken like this since I was a small child. I could feel his gaze as he looked at my backside and I began to blush. It occurred to me to be glad that my face was hidden by my hair falling over it, so he wouldn't see my embarrassment at having my ample derriere so exposed.
Finally, time was up and I could feel the thermometer being pulled out of me. "Normal temp - good!" the doctor proclaimed. "You may get up now".
I stood up and started to pull my pants and panties up. Dr Curtis looked amused as he removed his gloves and put them in the trash. "You may do that, but they will just come off in a few minutes anyway." He washed his hands at the sink, then went over to the side of the exam table, opened a drawer and pulled out a gown. As he set it on the table, he said "I want everything off, including your panties. You can put this gown on and then hop up here." He patted the top of the table. "I will be back in a few minutes". He left the room and shut the door behind him.
For a moment, I stood still, wondering what the heck had happened. I had just been spanked by my gynecologist and then had my temperature taken rectally! How dare he! I was so humiliated! I had half a mind to pull up my pants and walk out of there, never to return.
But I didn't. I pushed my pants and underwear down to my ankles and stepped out of them. After folding them neatly, I put them on the chair I had been sitting in a few minutes ago, then took off my blouse and bra and did the same with them. Finally, my socks. I put the gown on and got up on the table and sat there to wait for the doctor to come back. To my dismay, he had not left me a drape for my lower half. Just an oversight, I'm sure he will give me one when he comes back in, I thought.
After a few moments, I heard a knock at the door and it opened. "All ready?" Dr Curtis asked.
"Yes", I replied timidly, "But you forgot to give me a drape for my bottom half".
"I didn't forget" he said. "We won't be using one today.
I looked at him in astonishment. He had always used a drape. "But..." I started to say.
"No buts", the doctor interrupted. "Take the gown off, please. Today, I am going to examine you without it."
I could feel my heart race again. Why had he told me to put the gown on, only to take it off right away? Is he toying with me? I can't do this! I can't take it off and sit here totally naked!
"N-no", I stammered. "Please, Dr Curtis, please no."
"Why not, Janice?" he asked.
"I'm shy about my body", I replied in a quiet voice, and looked at the floor. A lock of my just past shoulder length hair fell over my face.
"I have seen your entire body before, albeit a bit at a time", he said, "There's no reason to be embarrassed, I am your doctor, not a stranger." He reached out and gently pushed the lock of hair back. "Now take the gown off."
I looked up. His voice may have been soft, but I could see the firmness in his eyes. This was his realm and he was in charge.
Reaching behind me, I slowly untied the gown. After a moment's hesitation, I slipped my arms out and let it fall to my lap. Dr Curtis took the garment and put it in the dirty linen receptacle.
Sitting there with not a stitch of clothing on, I was feeling very exposed and nervous. I brought my arms up and crossed them over my bountiful breasts, my hands forming fists at the edges of my armpits.
The same look of amusement that he had when I started to pull up my pants after my rectal temp came over his face, but he didn't say a word. The doctor went to his desk and picked his stethoscope up from where it lay and came back to the table. He then reached over to take the blood pressure cuff from the basket on the wall.
"I need your arm", he said as he held the cuff open. With a small sigh, I gave in and let him wrap it around my arm above the elbow. He took my blood pressure and remarked that it was a bit elevated, but not a surprise given how nervous I obviously was. After he removed the cuff, I raised my arm back to where it had been.
He then moved to my right side and began to listen to my lungs, telling me to take a deep breath each time he moved the diaphragm of the stethoscope. Moving to my front, he told me I would have to lower both my arms for the next part. After auscultating at the upper left and right fields, he listened to my heart, holding my left breast up when he got to the mitral point. Finishing with the auscultation, he put the stethoscope back on his desk.
"Okay, Janice, let's get you lying down", he said as he walked back over to me. I shifted around and brought my legs up onto the table. Dr Curtis put a hand on my right shoulder and gently pushed, indicating I was to lie down. Once I was supine, I tried to bring my arms up and cover my breasts, but this time he stopped me by taking them and putting them at my sides. "You will lie like this unless and until I ask you to change your position". Once again, he had that look in his eyes that said I was to obey. I could sense that my nipples were erect with nothing over them to keep them warm, and I blushed, hoping the doctor would not notice.
"I'm going to palpate your lower abdomen now", he said as he put his hands to the right of and just down from my belly button, one hand over the other. He applied gentle pressure. "Tell me if you feel any discomfort, okay Janice?" I nodded agreement.
After feeling all around my lower right side, he began to palpate the left. I winced a bit when he hit tender spots. “Does this hurt, dear?“ he asked with concern in his voice. He must be getting over his irritation at my missed appointment, I thought. I felt a surge of relief.
"A little, Doctor" I replied, "But it's not too bad, much better than it was a few months ago. It's okay."
"No, it's not 'okay' ", he said. "Last time, you had no pain. And you always minimize your pain level. When you say 'a little', I know it's more than that. I think we'll get an ultrasound and see what's happening."
"Ok, Doctor." I knew there was no point arguing with him - he would prevail.
"Atta girl. It's for your own good."
He finished palpating and then moved around to the foot of the exam table. Oh God, here comes the part I hate, I thought.
"Ok dear, let's get you in the stirrups", Dr Richards said as he sat on the little stool. One by one, he took each foot and placed it in the corresponding stirrup. I could feel the cold metal on the soles of my bare feet.
"Ok, hon, scoot down, please". That dreaded directive. I did as instructed, inching down. "A little more, please." Scared that I would fall off, I tentatively inched down just a little. "You aren't going to fall off, I won't let you", my doctor said as if he was reading my mind. "Ok, that's good."
I felt even more exposed than usual, not having a drape or even a gown on. Once again, I flushed with embarrassment.
I could hear him put gloves on, then felt his hands on my inner thighs. "Let your knees fall open, please. As wide as is comfortable."
There's nothing "comfortable" about this, I thought as I complied with the doctor's request.
"Just relax as I insert the speculum." I flinched reflexively as the cold steel instrument entered my vagina. Relax? Ha! At least all he can see is "down there" and not my entire naked body, I thought. Oh, how I hate this part of the exam.
I gasped as I felt him push it further into me. "Does that hurt?" he asked, a note of concern in his voice.
"Yes, a bit, Doctor", I replied.
"We go through this every time, Janice. You are too tense. I think next time, I will give you something to relax you prior to the exam."
He pushed the speculum further into me, taking his time and going slow. When he had the instrument all the way in, he opened it. I could feel myself being stretched.
"Janice, I think I will take a PAP smear, since the last one was inconclusive", Dr Curtis said. "Try to relax, honey."
I laid there looking up at the ceiling while he took the sample, wishing I was anywhere but here. Trying to take my mind off of what was happening, I thought of my horses and decided to go for a long ride tomorrow. My pain shouldn't be too bad if I keep it to a walk or a light trot, I thought. No cantering or galloping.
"Done with this part", the doctor said as he withdrew the speculum.
"Can I get up now?" I asked, relieved that that thing was out of me.
"No. You know the bimanual is next".
I sighed with resignation. At least this part wasn't as bad as the speculum.
He stood up and put some lubricant on two fingers and inserted them into my vagina. I could feel him palpating inside me, then he started pressing on my lower abdomen with his other hand. He was watching my face, probably for signs of pain or discomfort and once again, I became self conscious, knowing he could see my frontal nakedness. I'm sure I blushed - again.
I winced as he pressed down on me. The pressure was making it hurt more. Oh, how I wish this endometriosis would go away, I thought.
"Almost done, dear" Dr Curtis said and pulled his fingers out a moment later. "I'm going to change gloves for the recto-vaginal."
Oh god, I thought, another dreaded part of the exam. Why does he insist on this every.single.time????
"Janice, I want you to bear down as I insert my finger", he instructed after sitting down again, changing gloves and putting lubricant on his middle finger. I could feel the pressure of the tip as it pushed on my sphincter, and gasped reflexively. "Relax, dear", the doctor said. "Remember earlier? It goes in so much easier when you aren't tense."
I tried to relax and felt the doctor's index finger enter my vagina. When he had it fully inserted into my vagina as well as one in my rectum, he pushed down on my lower abdomen with his other hand. "I'm just checking your rectovaginal septum and then I will palpate your uterus and then we'll be almost done this part."
Almost done this part?? I thought. There's more??? "Then it's all done, right?" I asked, hoping against hope.
"Not quite", came the answer. We still need to do the rectal exam."
"Isn't that what you're doing now?"
"I'm doing the vaginorectal. Then I will do a rectal."
"You've never done just a rectal before."
"No time like the present to start. You *do* want me to be thorough, right?"
I groaned. On one hand, he was right but on the other hand, why has he not done a rectal before? Is he still punishing me for the missed appointment? I wanted to protest, but feared it would do me no good, I'd just be wasting my time and he'd win in the end. I wanted to get *out* of there ASAP.
"Ow!" I yelped as he pressed down on my pelvic area.
"Sorry, dear", he apologized. "I'm almost done.”
Almost as soon as he had said that, he withdrew his fingers from my orifices and stood up, taking his gloves off. I could see the concern in his eyes as he looked at me from between my legs. "Sorry again, hon", he said. "I don't like to cause anyone pain, least of all you, but it had to be done. I don't like the fact you are getting pain again and I‘m afraid that the endometriosis is coming back, but we will know more after the ultrasound. Let's get you positioned for the rectal."
After disposing of his gloves and washing his hands, he pulled the end of the table out, then took my feet out of the stirrups and set them down. Walking around to my right, he instructed me to roll over onto my left side. I complied.
"Janice, please move back toward me, so that your bum is at the edge of the table." I did as instructed, inching over a bit at a time. When I got to where he wanted, the doctor said "That's good, hon. Now, let's get your knee up toward your chest." He reached over, grasped my right ankle in his hand and pushed my leg up. I was fully aware of his eyes on my entire naked body. I blushed for what seemed like the millionth time.
"Ok, that's good, hon. Leave your left leg straight. I'll just be a moment while I reglove." I heard the snap of his gloves, indicating he had put them on. "I'm going to put my lubed finger on your anus again", he said. He parted my butt cheeks with one hand and then I felt the cold lubricant as he exerted gentle pressure on me. "Bear down, just like you did for the rectovaginal."
Dr Curtis pushed his index finger fully into me. It felt full. "Please squeeze my finger so I can check your muscle tone. Good, you can relax now."
I felt his finger turn around inside me. Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yes, but I have a huge urge to push", I replied.
"That's normal. Just a moment more and then we are done."
When he was finished, he withdrew his finger and took the gloves off. He went to the counter and picked up a box of tissues, bringing it over to the table. "Here's some tissues to clean up with", he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes, after you are dressed".
I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, I could get dressed! I didn't move until I heard the door close behind him as he left the exam room. After wiping myself, I got down from the table and put the used tissues in the garbage, then washed my hands before putting my clothes on. When I was done, I sat down on the chair I had sat in at the beginning of the appointment, trying unsuccessfully to process what had just happened.
After a few minutes, the doctor knocked and came back in, sitting down at the desk. He made an entry in my chart, then turned to me. "I'm going to order some blood work and that ultrasound. You should get a call in the next few days with an appointment date and time. We'll be in touch to bring you back to get the results. Be sure to keep both appointments." He gave a me a no nonsense look, a look that said he was not to be disobeyed.
"Ok", I agreed.
“I’m sorry about your pain returning, Janice. Endometriosis is very difficult to treat, as I told you before. I’m afraid that ultimately you will need a total hysterectomy, but given your age, I’d like to put that off as long as I can. Have a safe drive home and we'll see you again soon."
I walked out of the clinic and to my car. Getting in, I sat down and muttered under my breath "I'll come back when they are playing ice hockey in Hell." I was so embarrassed at what had just transpired in my doctor’s office. A spanking, rectal temp and then an exam while totally naked!! I'm sure I blushed again, even though there was nobody else there with me.
I started the car and drove out of the parking lot, knowing full well I'd be back.