Losing toys in your ass

I have a lady friend, in her 60s, who talks with me about being horny, the sex she has with the man or men she’s seeing, the size of their dicks, the positions she likes best and her curiosity about anal sex, the things she does or has done while experimenting with her butt.

Each year we meet for lunch in December and exchange gifts. The first year I gave her a butt plug as a joke because she had said she was curious about playing with them.

The next time I was with her, we were cooking a batch of shrimp gumbo and, as you probably know, it takes a while. I casually asked her if she had had a chance to play with her Christmas gift.

She gave me a look like she could kill me and said she didn’t want to tell me what happened. Intrigued, I kept after her until she started sharing her experience.

Not really having any idea what she was doing, she lubed the whole thing and started trying to insert it into her rectum.

The problem was she didn’t know when to stop and inserted the whole thing that quickly went through her rectum and sphincters and into her bowel.

At that point she panicked because she couldn’t reach it to pull it out! I was laughing so hard I was in tears and had to lay on the floor because my sides and stomach hurt so badly. I couldn’t stop laughing.

When I finally calmed down, I asked her what happened. She said she was determined to get the plug out without going to the emergency room because, being a RN herself, all the doctors and nurses knew her and felt she would never be able to show her face again!

I’m laughing again but I found the breath to ask how she solved her problem.

She recounted how she prepared a full soapy enema and took it lying on her bathroom floor. Then she squatted on her toilet and shitted it out with the enema water and a big turd.

Oh gosh I’m laughing again but it’s hurting because I had been laughing so hard throughout her story.

She said that experience taught her three things: first, she must have an awfully big rectum; second, not to insert the retaining flange; third, her friend needed to give her a much larger butt plug.

She finished her story saying she had given herself a warm water rinse enema after the plug came out and happily put her panties back on before going to bed where she enjoyed the best night’s sleep in years.

The whole experience didn’t go to waste as she told me about the anal sex she had for the next few months.

Of course, I gave her a larger butt plug the next Christmas and a vibe to use on her clitoris.