50 years ago boys were taught to follow specific rules and practices.Tough masculinity was the target. Any deviation from the norm was unwelcome, showed weakness and frequently led to severe consequences both socially and in life in general.
I was born with an innate curiosity about most things sexual. Even at a tiny age I wanted to explore. I wanted to know about girl's bits and boy's bits and even adults of either sex. I had a fascination with bare bottoms and I was always trying to peek at people having a pee. I knew nothing of sex and I had no notion of hetero or homosexual and no sense of guilt. As I grew up many things became taboo. I bowed to peer pressure but this did not diminish my curiosity.
M primary interest was in the opposite sex and I pursued it assiduously However I would still catch myself guiltily admiring some handsome young man on the beach or sneaking a surreptitious look in the changing rooms. Curious as I was I always shied away from any possible gay encounters.
I went to Thailand and sex was everywhere. Naturally I partook of many of the pleasures on offer. I attended a private party where my host assured me that all the participants' IDs were checked. The guests were a mixed bunch of provocatively dressed local girls of all shapes and sizes. They wore the tiniest skirts and stiletto heels and they were made up like Hollywood actresses. Drinks flowed and people paired off and danced or settled down around the place. I let myself be entertained by a tiny little girl with silicone boobs that looked rather incongruous on such a skinny body. We sat on a lounge chair by the pool and at my request she pointed out the ladyboys among the guests. I was curious to meet one and she went off and came back with a dark skinned schoolgirl in a very skimpy uniform. She looked 15 with long shapely legs and an extremely pretty face. She spoke with a slightly husky voice. I invited them to my bungalow after having explained that I wanted to watch them have sex.
They danced naked very closely. I was dying to have a look. I told them to face me. The girl was very skinny and bony and looked top heavy with her plastic boobs. She was shaved smooth all over. The ladyboy faced away looking at me sexily over her shoulder. She had easily the prettiest, roundest and sexiest bottom I had ever seen! I can still see it now! She had a really amazing feminine body. She turned around displaying a flat chest and the tiniest penis poking straight out. She made thrusting movements with her hips. I couldn't help myself and I pulled her close. I had never touched another penis before. Hers(his) was a work of art. It was no more than 7 cms long, rigid as a bone and perfectly proportioned. I couldn't keep my hands off it. The other girl knelt down and took it in her mouth. I swear if the other girl hadn't done it I would have wrapped my lips round it. But the moment passed and I missed my opportunity once again. We played around all night. I kept fondling her penis and little marble sac and her delightful smooth ass while the other girl rode me every which way and licked me from top to toe and back. I just couldn't keep my hands off her little manhood which stayed absolutely rigid all night. Mine didn't and I had to rest awhile but even while I rested I kept fondling her fascinating assets. The other girl petulantly said she thought I liked ladyboy better than girl. For that night I could not deny it.
I felt none of my usual guilt at this experience and I rationalised to myself that it was because she looked so much like a woman. I had other similar encounters after this, but none of them lit my fire quite like this one. After all that time I was beginning to break the mould and I didn't feel less masculine either.