Just because one gets frustrated with the way things are doesn't mean they are giving up, Unfortunately I have also learned this week that even those who love you dearly get tired of your journey too. I feel some friendships have changed because of my long journey with pain, I wish my sister Mary was still alive her love for me never changed. This journey has been so long I feel that I am losing friends daily because they dont understand what's going on. I dont understand what's going on either but I have to keep going my Mom needs me. I sincerely apologize if you are tiring if hearing about my pain journey but this is all I have walked for 22 months and now playing the waiting game again its hard. Pain grates on a person then lack of sleep wears on you as well and before you know it your a growly different person who can't even stand yourself. But I am still me just trying to keep my head above water and I am thankful for the few of you who are ALWAYS there no matter what. Because I have lost some close friends and I have to think that thats ok I guess.