I'm feeling prolific at the moment.
Inspired by some of the lovely things shared around here, I got thinking of Dr P and how our relationship began. If it isn’t obvious from my behavior, he’s not here right now and I’m missing the F out of him so I'm writing and posting pictures. He’ll be home soon though so all is well.
I met P in High School. He went to a different school, an all boys school that a few of my male friends attended. They did this big musical spectacular fund-raiser each year and invited girls from the surrounding towns to participate. It was a great way for the boys to meet girls in a ‘wholesome’ way I’m sure the thinking went. Well anyway P was friends with my very first BF and we all became part of the same friend group. P and his best friend (not my old BF) were both kind of competing for my attention but we literally were all ‘seeing’ other people so it wasn’t super serious. I wound up making out with both of them at a cast party and giving both hand jobs. Like I said before, Theater People are slutty. Seems like sex and acting go together. Because of the aforementioned BFs and GFs nothing really happened.
Fast forward 27 or so years and I reconnect with Ps best friend, call him J, on Facebook. We’re both divorced and we start flirting, and I find P through him so I connect with him. P is married, wife has cancer. I start dating J and it was fun. I’m connecting with P on FB a lot and I’m REALLY having trouble NOT flirting with him. God forgive us both but there was still a spark there. Back in HS we had this moment where I felt like I was hit by a lightening bolt while kissing him and that feeling was back instantly, but I reined it in as I was NOT going to make a play for a married guy, let alone one who’s wife had cancer.
It didn’t really work with J. Too much like my ex-husband but we had fun. I think J knew I was carrying a torch for P. Hell, the last serious guy I dated before J, call him VB, was trying to insinuate himself back into my life and he called me once while I was in the car with J and he’s giving me the 3rd degree over ‘who is this P fellow?’ So I decided to fuck with him a little and said, “Oh I’m in love with P, but I don’t think his wife is too happy about it.” J was cracking up and VB was NOT pleased.
Well J and I broke up, no hard feelings on either side, it was an itch we both needed to scratch. Unfinished business. A short time after, P’s wife died. She had been sick for eight years and it really took a toll on all of them so when she passed it was truly a blessing. I wouldn’t wish what she suffered on anyone. P and I are still sort of low-key flirting on FB off and on, it’s a few months after his wife passed and I had a dream about him. I have these horribly vivid dreams/nightmares. Always have. This one had P as a preacher of some kind chasing me around my bedroom with a bible asking me if I had found Jesus. If you know us, this is a little laughable as neither are the bible thumping type. So I tell him about it via Facebook. He’s quippy as fuck so he comes right back with ‘If I were chasing you around the bedroom, you’d be calling to Jesus alright…’ And I respond with ‘don’t make promises you can’t keep’. He says ‘I always keep my promises and I promise I’ll make you call out to Jesus.’
I’m like, well that escalated quickly.
Horrible slut that I am, this is exactly what I wanted so I nail him down quickly to a date. We agree to meet in the city (where I worked) for drinks. I got there first and sat down at the bar where I could see the door. Shortly thereafter, there he comes and I’m like ‘oh shit did he age well! Yum!’
He sits down and says, “I’m going to kiss you now, because I want that whole ‘first kiss’ thing out of the way so it’s not looming over us.”
Do you know the movie Blazing Saddles? There’s this scene when Clevon Little is meeting Madelyn Kahn for the first time and they’re in her dressing room and she’s sort of giggle/simpering because he’s just so overwhelmingly male - well that was me. He leans in and gives me this very nice kiss, and it worked! Total ice-breaker. All the tension gone. We have a couple of drinks and some apps and he offers to drive me to my car (I take a train). That’s a big deal as my commute was an hour and a half each way. I say OK and he’s got a little 2 seater BMW he calls his midlife-crisis car and that motor purred. I’m a sucker for cars, usually 70’s American muscle but I learned to love German engineering. He’s holding my hand (when he’s not shifting gears) and the long ride is a blink. I get to the car and ask him if he wants to come to my place for another drink. He smiles and says sure and follows me in his car.
At the time I lived in a condo overlooking the beach. Beautiful view. We go up, I make him another martini and we go out onto my deck and start immediately making out. I’m wearing a wrap dress and he starts to unwrap me and I’m fine with it. He gets the dress open and I take him by the hand and lead him to the bedroom - and he does something that cements my downfall. It was just a little thing, subtle but when we got to the bedroom he took the lead away from me and gently pushed me down onto the bed. Nothing rape-y or anything, just him taking charge.
I had been waiting for that for literally my entire life.
A man that could not only handle me but ‘put me in my place’ as it were. Granted my place is in a palace on a throne - but his is to my right and slightly higher and larger than mine. Princess and whore and him knowing just when to treat me as which.
We proceed to have very good sex. I underwhelm with that because really and hostly - is the first time ever like it is in the books? No. You work up to that. As far as first fucks go, this was the best I’ve had. This first fuck was better than 75% of all the sex I had to that point but I understate as it’s just gone no place but up from there. We do it twice and I came the second time we did it - which was a really big deal for me as I had not had an orgasm with a guy since my divorce. I had plenty of sex but no O. I had sex with a woman immediately after and came with her but with none of the men - including one I thought I was going to marry. I came while masturbating but not with a guy. I figured it was me, I was broken or something but I came with P during intercourse from him thrusting in me (another thing that’s rare). Not to be overly dramatic but I wept.
He didn’t spend the night, he had kids at home and they didn’t know he was on a date. It was too soon after their mother’s death really. We started seeing each other in a sort of low key way - we were sensitive to just how soon it was and I was a little worried it was some kind of rebound thing. He had already grieved, she was really bad for the last 3 years, and so was ready to move on but we wanted to be respectful. The marriage had its problems. They separated for over a year but reconciled and were making a go of it when she got sick. He dated others while they were separated.
On our third date he said to me when we were snuggling after (he did spend the night) in a very Han Solo way, “It’s fine, I know you love me, I love you too.”
I was completely flustered and said, “I don’t love you.”
He came back with, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” and the bastard was right of course, I fell in love with him the minute he kissed me at the bar.
I had been seeing someone I thought I liked when we started to date. I made a point of sleeping with him one more time, I don’t know way, maybe to see whatever. Nothing. I couldn’t get him out of the house fast enough after.
I told P and said that I wasn’t going to see him anymore, that I wasn’t interested in seeing anyone else but that I fully expected he would want to date others.
He said, “OK, but I have no desire to date anyone else.”
I made a big deal out of it. I didn’t want to be the woman who ‘trapped him’ or something. He was like, ‘If I see someone I want to date, I’ll let you know.’ He never did.
Turns out he felt the lightning all those years ago too and never forgot. When he read the ‘don’t make promises…’ note he said he suddenly realized that I was interested in him and literally had the mental conversation of, ‘Oh wow. This is going to be complicated, it won’t just be a fling. This might cause problems, but I let this go by me once and regretted it, I’m not doing that again.’
I’ve never been happier.