Well one of my favorite Zity people asked to see MY interview answers so why not. I explained the situation to Dr P and he agreed to ask the questions in the spirit of my interview of him. I, of course have to do the work writing it all down. Something seems wrong with this deal but here we go.
Dr P: So tell us about your first experience playing doctor, when was it, and what did you do
Me: I’ve talked about it before, it was with my cousin Jane, hey did you give me real names to your stuff?
Dr P: Yes, should I not have?
Me: Ah yeah, do you use YOUR real name here? Back to the question, with Jane. It was her idea to play. She got a nurses kit for Christmas when we were in, maybe 2nd grade. It was great, it had a beautiful white bag with bottles that snapped into the outside with candy pills and all the gear inside. I wanted to be sick so I could have the candy.
Dr P: Important question; was nudity involved.
Me: That first time? I think some. I’m sure she listened to my chest with the stethoscope and she may have had me pull my pants down for a shot in the butt but maybe that was a later time.
Dr P: Where did you play it?
Me: The first few times we played in her room but there was a closet in her attic under the eves we moved to fairly soon.
Dr P: Why?
Me: Well we liked to play a lot of things there, it was our playhouse spot but mostly because we were less likely to get caught there. We started to be more and more naked each time.
Dr P: Who was the instigator for that?
Me: Oh Jane. She was the one that had all the new ideas but I was very happy to go along with them. I’ve never been shy about getting naked, I was probably worse as a kid. We got to the point where the patient would get completely naked, usually in the summer for obvious reasons. We used to call that ‘playing the good way’ or just ‘good’.
Dr P: When did you start playing Bad Doctor?
Me: For those who haven’t read my other stuff, Bad Doctor was playing some form of Mad Scientist. There was no pretense of making a patient well, it was doing whatever you wanted to the victim. We were a little older. 10 or so? We weren’t really supervised like kids are today. It was the 70’s and we were ‘free range’ kids. My Aunt had cable and we watched a lot of TV, Jane and I. We both liked horror movies and the idea came from that. Copying/inspired by the mad scientists on TV. Some of the cable movies actually had nude victims and I gotta say those got me going.
Dr P: Was this sexual for you?
Me: Yes? I guess so. I really didn’t know what sex was when we started. I know I liked doing this and it made me feel good. You called it excited but not aroused. That’s the feeling when we started.
Dr P: Did it change as you got older? Did you start getting aroused?
Me: Yes. I would defiantly get aroused, usually when I was the patient but as the doctor too.
Dr P: How old where you when you noticed this?
Me: Probably about the time we started playing Bad Doctor, so 10 or 11. That might mark a shift in our playing from ‘pretend to be a grown up real doctor’ to ‘excuse to touch and see another naked person’.
Dr P: In one of your stories you talk about playing bad doctor with Jane and getting tied up to do it. Did that really happen?
Me: Oh yes. That story is more a memoir than a biography as it isn’t a faithful retelling on one of our sessions but all of the things we did in it were things we really did and the feelings I recount etc are as accurate as I can remember them.
Dr P: So she would tie you up. Naked.
Me: Yup. I’ve loved being tied up. Always have. The whole ‘pirate’s captive’ thing.
Dr P: You wrote about anally penetrating each other with a thermometer and a cigar tube. Did that happen too?
Me: Yes. The first time was with the toy thermometer in her doctor kit. I didn’t like that, it hurt. She did it dry and it scratched. I did it to her when it was my turn and she agreed it hurt. We realized we needed lube. We didn’t know to call it that, we just knew that when we got a real one our mother’s used vaseline on it and it didn’t hurt. We started sneaking some and that made all the difference.
Dr P: What about the cigar tube? That too?
Me: Yes. That too.
Dr P. Did you like that?
Me: Not as much as Jane. I had a love/hate relationship with it. It felt good but it hurt too but Jane really liked doing it to me.
Dr P: So your attitude about anal hasn’t changed. Did you ever penetrate each other vaginally.
Me: Not so much playing doctor but yes we did finger each other.
Dr P: What do you mean not so much playing doctor?
Me: Well around that same time we started really getting into playing bad doctor we started, no other word for it, getting overtly sexual with each other.
Dr P: Do tell.
Me: Well we would share a bed when I slept over and we started touching each other in bed before going to sleep. Masturbating each other to orgasm.
Dr P: Would you kiss?
Me: Not at first but yeah, we would.
Dr P: Oral sex?
Me: No, just touching and kissing.
Dr P: How long did this go on for?
Me: I stopped being allowed to sleep over when we were 12ish. Still got to see each other but it wasn’t the same after that.
Dr P: Why?
Me: Turns out she was being molested by her father. I didn’t learn about that until later. My mother completely freaked out and I didn’t even get to go over their house for about a year, even after he was out of the picture. By the time I did, I had discovered boys so, like I said, it was never the same.
Dr P: Did you ever play doctor with boys?
Me: No, just you as an adult.
Dr P: Why?
Me: Well I wasn’t really exposed to boys as a girl. I had no boy cousins close to my age, the nearest one was a good 10 years older than me. I was a late-in-life baby to older parents. My sister is 12 years older than I am. I didn’t have a lot of friends, girl or otherwise, until I was quite a bit older. As a child all of my playmates were my cousins. I had Jane and 2 other girl cousins close to my age. Jane was the only one I played doctor with.
Dr P: When did you start dating boys?
Me: I had my first boyfriend at 12. We never did more than a pretty chaste kiss. We broke up because he wanted to ride the tilt-a-whirl with another girl at the state fair. Devastating! He later groveled back to me but you don’t get second chances.
Dr P: I know he’s still broken up by it actually (laughter).
Me: (Dr P actually knows my first BF) Don’t be mean.
Dr P: In your stories about playing doctor you talk about a teenaged instance with your cousin and a boy, is that real?
Me: No that’s fiction. I would have but the situation never presented.
Dr P: Did you have any actual medical events that may have contributed to your fetish?
Me: Yes, you know about the main one. I’ve written about that one extensively and I don’t want to get into it so much again. You hear about the old fashioned term ‘rape of the speculum’, well I think that applies. I had 2 other, less traumatic incidents that, while not sexy at the time, looking back contributed. The first was I had my appendix out at 14. I wasn’t a ‘good girl’ at 14. I had a boyfriend who was a lot older than me and he introduced me to sex and partying. We didn’t actually have intercourse, though we tried a few times, it was too painful and I made him stop, but we had lots of oral sex. I also suffer from IBS-D and a really bad bout of that plus a hang-over from too much partying convinced my mother I had appendicitis. Medical care in the very poor, blue collar town I grew up in sucked so they admitted me for ‘exploratory surgery’. That huge scar on my lower right quadrant is due to that. So little 14 year old Nurse P is in the ER getting screened for appendicitis. ‘Roll on your side and bring your knees up’ finger in the ass. At least 2 different doctors. BTW I didn’t have an inflamed appendix. “It was a little pink so we took it out’ - ie ‘we screwed up and did unnecessary surgery on a kid but we’re gonna claim it was something so you can’t sue us.’
Later, recovering in the pediatric wing (Pedes for anyone under 16) 2x daily temperature check. Rectally. Once I recovered a little I wanted nothing to do with that. I learned you don’t mess with nurses. A very credible threat of ‘we will hold you down’ and I went along. What was worse was the idea of being forced actually turned me on a little which made me disgusted with myself. Very conflicting feelings.
Another time, much later in life, I’m married with kids. I’m working in the ER and not feeling well. Fever, severe cramping etc. I actually pass out at work. Next thing I know I’m in one of the ER beds and I’m in for a full exam including pelvic by the doctor and some of the nurses that i WORK WITH EVERY DAY. PID. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. My fucking husband had given me chlamydia. They’re asking me if I ‘had any idea how I could have gotten it.’ and I’m like ‘no, I have no clue’, because I knew I wasn’t fucking anyone and they’re hinting that it was my fucking husband and I’m like ‘oh no, it couldn’t be.’ Well it was. That was the start of me wising up to the fact he was a serial adulterer but how this connects with my MedFet is after I got better the idea of having been intimately examined by several people I knew well and saw daily engendered some interesting emotions.
Dr P: How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Me: I was 16. It was with the guy I later married. We planned it a long time, it was after my junior prom.
Dr P: Was he one of your first sexualized relationships?
Me: Not really. After my Middle School BF, I started dating a senior when I was a freshman in HS. I was only 13 and he was 17. That relationship got sexual pretty quickly. I was very interested in boys and I’ve always liked sex. We tried to have actual penetrative sex but it hurt and I stopped him. We broke up when I was 14 and a sophomore and I started dating another guy, he was a senior as well. Same deal, lots of ‘everything but’. We tried a few times and it hurt so I stopped him.
Dr P: Did ‘everything but’ include anal?
Me: No. The second one would finger my ass when going down on me but he never tried to put it in, or maybe he did and I stopped him.
Dr P: Did you like getting your ass fingered?
Me: Yes but it made me uncomfortable. With the whole IBS thing I was always worried about it being not clean.
Dr P: Did it hurt when you finally lost it? Did you bleed?
Me: No, there was no pain at all. It was wonderful. No blood either. I’ve no idea why it hurt with them and not him other than maybe when I did it it was on my terms and I was ready for it or something.
Dr P: Did you cum?
Me: Not from the sex but from foreplay.
Dr P: I know you married him later, was he the only person you had sex with until your divorce much later?
Me: Penetrative sex yes. Sexual with, no. Our relationship was tumultuous. We broke up a few times and I did see other people during those time - you included. (I met Dr P when we were in a HS musical together. We fooled around at a cast party and he played with my boobies and I jerked him off. I also jerked off his best friend. Theater people are slutty).
Dr P: Tell the people about Mr M.
Me: Mr M was the assistant theater guy at the HS. He was a teacher but only a few years out of school. When I was a senior and during one of my numerous breaks with my BF I decided I was going to seduce him so I set about it with a will. Lots of touching, low necklines, standing close and some seriously overt ‘I’d do anything for you…’ statements on my part. I finally found out where he lived and showed up at his apartment one night. We never had penetrative sex but I blew him a few times and we 69’d. I was over the age of consent and no longer a virgin but as much as I begged he wouldn’t fuck me. I got bored and it ended and I got back together, again, with the BF.
Dr P: Is the strip club story true?
Me: Every bit of it.
Dr P: You married young.
Me: 18 almost 19. I got pregnant after getting back with the BF after the strip club incident. Was going to get an abortion but couldn’t go through with it, literally at the last minute, I was on the table, legs up waiting for the doctor to come in when I said ‘no’. We got married a few months after that. A lot of young women are vulnerable at that age if they’ve no real direction in life or proper support system. I’m not saying they get pregnant on purpose but it’s almost an unconscious thing. I’ve read about it a lot and I think it applied to me. Very likely for the best, my kids are wonderful humans whom I couldn't love more and will likely save the world and had I continued the way I was headed, realistically, it wouldn't have ended well.
Dr P: Ever cheat on your husband?
Me: we were married 25 years and no, I didn’t. I could have on many occasions but I didn’t, which is ironic as I don’t consider myself a monogamous person. I abhor liars and lying though, I mean REALLY hate it, so I would never cheat. I would have made a great prostitute. Like a high-end one, not a street walker. Like a Hetaera in the classical world. I could have totally seen me ending up that way if things had been different. There’s an honesty to that. The rules are defined and I can have sex with whom I choose when I choose but there’re no expectations of ownership beyond that. I never wanted to be conventional, I just sort of fell into that life and I love my kids so I do the best I can to be the mother/grandmother they expect but Suzy Corporate Wife is a role I play, it isn’t me.
Dr P: How do you feel about medical play as an adult?
Me: Oh I love it, as you know. Not every time and not all the time. Maybe like a fancy dinner, great once in a while but not what I want to eat every night. Same with kink in general. I like to be bound, I like impact play, but not every time.
Dr P: What about it do you like? Why does it turn you on?
Me: It makes me an object. A piece of meat. I’m a set of holes. During my ‘regular’ life I want to be treated with respect, I want to run my own life, I don’t want to be dependent on anyone ever again, but, when I want to, I want to turn all of that off and just be a toy.
Dr P: Are you bisexual?
Me: Yeah I guess so (laughter). I haven’t been with many women but given that my side piece is a woman I guess I’m bisexual. Hope you’re OK with that.
Dr P: I encourage it. (laughter). So are you Polly?
Me: I just learned what that means recently. I guess I am. I don’t fuck casually, desire to be a prostitute aside. Before we got together I had sex with other men but never on the first date. Some never again after the first sex, but that was my choice. Since we’ve been together once before we were exclusive and since then you’ve been involved in all my extra curricula forays and I’ve really no desire to add more to the mix so I guess that’s Polly. I’ve got you as my primary and Jane as my side piece and we fuck Dr Smith once in a blue moon. That’s plenty complicated enough and I can't really conceive of loving someone more than I do you.
Dr P: You’re an exhibitionist.
Me: Is that a statement or a question?
Dr P: Statement.
Me: Yeah, you’re right (laughter).
Dr P: What about sex clubs? Ever been?
Me: No. We almost went once but I chickened out. Now I’m not comfortable enough with my body. Maybe if I lose some weight but it would be sex in front of people, not sex with strangers if I ever did.