HOA...or.. Bitch From Hell

So I find my Saturdays much like everyone else. Do some things about the house, run some errands, perhaps go visit my mother. Just normal everyday shit. But we are talking about me, so, that means shit happens and things go horribly sideways.

Just like Saturday.

My morning gets interrupted by my gate bell ringing into my house. I press the intercom button and ask it this is a delivery? No it's, shall we call her Karen, from the HOA. Oh, I inquire. Yes I need to speak to you about your many violations of our rules out here.

Hmmm, I don't belong to a HOA out here. I belong to one at my building in the city..they don't like me there. So this would be interesting. I invited them to my patio and told them to have a seat I would be right out. It had been raining off and on so I thought I could get rid of them. So with coffee in hand and dressed somewhat casual for normals I entered the lioness' den.

No chit chat, Karen started in announcing all the things wrong with my property and the lack of compliance to paying my fines and she would have to call the village board and get the police involved and she had brought her attorney along as well to point out that I HAD no choice but to comply..

I sat there sipping and pretending to listen with interest. Once she was finished I smiled and simply said Did you get all that El? She had. I then introduce the two of them , Karen and Ken, to my attorney and told them from which firm she was a full partner in from downtown Chicago. I asked Ken which firm he was with or was he on his own. Ken got a bit tongue tied as I thought he might. In his jeans and polo shit and no brief case. We then discussed each of my horrendous violations of HOA standards. My privacy wall would have to go...only fences were allowed not brick and mortar structures and only six feet high. My walls are nine feet high because of nosey neighbors and the like. Also my grass was too tall in my back areas of my property. I asked how she might know this because there are no trespassing notices posted. Also I was conducting a business in a residential zone. Because I have a workshop and obviously I would know how to use saws or a welder. And there were some other things as well.

Then I got to point out that my property was infact not part of the development which they had purchased their homes. I was also technically outside the city limits to which she wished to report me. I also showed them the case ruling that allowed me to build my walls anyway I wanted. I informed them that I had them on my property illegally because the motion cameras caught them snooping around. And it went on for another twenty five minutes. I ended with asking thier last names and she responded and I said excuse me.

I walked to the work shop and returned with four drones that I had shot down over my property and all had been registerd to, amazingly, her son. Who I also got video as he climbed over the wall trying to find his drone. Got that as well. So I handed them the box of bits that were left, never to fly or record again.

My attorney mentioned that if they come here again or trespass again that we would file a harrassment claim. I then noticed a dark blue truck out by my gate parked across the street. I asked if they knew who that was and it was one of thier sons.

Now you understand why I hate idiots and those that feel they are sooooo self important. I love a challenge so please come prepared and have some creativity. God, I'm inviting the entire neighbor hood to a Halloween party, well social distance and the like, but I don't think Karen and Ken with Biff and Randy are going to get an invite.

God I hope you all had a better weekend and got laid.

Talk to all later

Faith