Since I wasn't having great luck of engaging here, I looked outside. I'd had an account at FetLife for a while, mostly just to check it out every year or two, see if there was anything interesting. At those times I was looking for something zity-like --- and it's not zity-like. Plus, people here have said negative things about it, and I trusted the perspective of people here quite a bit -- I know many people here are very kind and generous towards others. So I moved on. But now I went back and looked again, asking myself if maybe I should think of it differently?
One main difference is that FL is intended less to be a community of like-minded people sharing thoughts/ideas/stories, and more of a fetish-oriented facebook. I mean, there's some of that there (topic discussion) -- but to be frank, most of it's kind of shit for that. Honestly. Of the bazillion topic groups there, most of them appear to be oriented around finding like-minded people. Classified-ad like. BUT that's where it offers something zity hardly even touches on -- making connections and sharing real-world experiences. I started trying to put myself out there, or reach out to people who were looking for X to see if I could be more successful at it there. And you know what? I was.
Not wildly so. I'm ... not quite there yet. I'm not as certain of who I am (despite my rapidly increasing age) nor am I certain of what I want. That makes it kind of tough -- FL excels and offering forums for offering oneself or finding others that match very particular criteria. Me, I don't have particular criteria, so ... what can you do.
Oh, there's one other area it excels at that zity pretty much ignores entirely -- the idea that people would like to meet together in the physical world. Oh, I know it happens. I'm .... not totally sure how. Probably some of that secret stuff about making friends that I don't get. Regardless, the classified boards here are practically empty by comparison, and there's very little regional organization that would offer co-located individuals a chance to meet each other. On that basis. That they were geographically co-located. There's more I could say about this, but ... UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD, it seems we're destined to not meet one another face-to-face that easily, and so I'll leave it at that for a while.
But there's one other place I was at already ... kinda ... where I'm actually having more success than either FL or Zity. Would you like to know where? You won't believe it ...
Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion...
(kidding -- ima gonna go write it now while ima thinkin bout it)