Got my second rectal exam done today. She said after the exam that things look better inside and pain will heal very soon. She wanted to confirm this was period related and nothing else.
I feel she knows my insides better than my hospital gynec now.
Today to avoid anxiety she asked me to carry earphones. I carried wireless earphones and plugged one in the right ear. I played music before she asked me to position myself.
Also, today she asked me to wear skirt instead of PJs.
I thought of wearing skirt anyway today but was really happy she was trying to help me with my anxiety with the exam.
She even let me use the bathroom to take my underwear off so that I don't have to come without panty from my home. So this time it was too clipped and skirt raised for the exam. I was not completely naked waist down.
This time I didn't even have to be restrained by force though like last time doctor's sister and my mom had to hold me because I was shaking a little. But use of force wasn't needed.
I had tears dripping when she was examining but the music had kept me a lot calmer this time. I got a little headache but not a full blown panic attack like last time.
After 5-10 minutes of rest after the exam I was normal.
And after everything I walked back home unlike last time.
The whole thing is extremely embarrassing but music helped
Also, regarding the nightie vs PJs thing she said that it's not just nightie, she would suggest loose clothes even otherwise. Sounds good to me. I anyways wear very loose jeans and not tight fitted ones. I like comfortable clothes anyways