I've always wanted to try this under the right conditions:
I was working the second of three blog entries "A Father's Day Present" while I was on the way home tonight and so my mind was already focused on enemas when the bus I was riding reached the end of the line in downtown Chapel Hill.
I love downtown Chapel Hill in the summer. The town is much less crowded and, let's face it, as I a guy, I love the number of good looking young women that are around the UNC campus during the summer sessions.
When I got off the bus, I hustled across the street before the light changed to head towards the next bus stop. As I approached the far side of the street. I saw two women walking toward me at the opposite corner. One was a young blonde with somewhat curly hair, wearing a tee shirt and these tight white, very short, shorts. I would have guessed she was in her early 20's...maybe a university student. The other one was a brunette wearing a scoop-necked knit top and a striped knit long skirt. She looked older, maybe late 20's or very early 30's. When they reached the corner, they turned right to head down the street. As I finished crossing the street, I turned left and was walking behind them to my next bus stop. I just happened to be behind them as they walked down the street having some sort of conversation.
I had walked maybe 25 feet when the brunette turned around and stopped and asked me if there was a bar nearby where they could get a drink. The blonde slowed down but kept walking. As I caught up with the brunette, she started walking beside me as I gave some thought to her question. The way she turned toward me gave me a very nice view of her breasts being displayed by her scoop-neck top. Very nicely, but not overly, endowed.
"Yes! Go to this next street and turn right and there are a couple of places about a block that way. Or if you go left at the light, go about a block and a half and there's one there."
"Fuck it! It's not worth it!" she said.
The blonde was still in front of us as we walked down the street, listening but acting like she was ignoring this and maybe a little put out at this display that was going on behind her. But from behind she, too, provide a nice view of how she fit in her shorts.
"Just getting off work?," the brunette asked.
"Yes, it's been a long day. It's time to go home, get in a run, and then kick back and relax." I said.
"You a runner?"
"Yes, I run marathons and other races."
"Run an extra quarter mile for me while you're at it."
"I'll be thinking of you while I'm running it."
Now, it was just about at this point I thought this young woman was messing with me...here was this younger, attractive woman flirting ( \or pretending to flirt) with an older guy with graying hair to see if she could get a rise out of me. Maybe get me to be "hopeful" and a little eager at what she might be trying to dangle in front of me. And her blonde friend was mostly ignoring this or certainly wasn't actively participating in this conversation. Granted, I wasn't wearing my wedding band and when I run, I don't wear it. So, there is no tan line around my ring finger to indicate that I usually wear a wedding band.
OTOH, I've been in and around Chapel Hill and Durham for long enough to know there are many (attractive) female couples in this community who have little sexual interest in guys. I respect their choice, I'm not surprised by it and it appeared to me that this might be a likely situation. So, I expected that this conversation would end at this point with these two heading to somewhere else. As it turns out, they were heading to the parking lot next to my bus stop.
The brunette reached out her hand and said "Hi, I'm Katie and I'm here from Wrightsville Beach."
She could see my name on my work access badge (I have to remember that people that I don't know can know my name from my badge and picture ID). But I introduced myself anyway and shook her hand.
"Hi, and welcome to our little town. It's a great place to be in the summertime."
"If I'm here in the morning what's the first thing I should do?"
Oh, I was so tempted to go to: "Wake up in bed next to me and lets fuck our brains out!" just to see what kind of reaction I might get. But I also had no way of actually carrying that out if she thought that was a great idea. I think my wife might have a problem with that.
"Besides that! Seriously, what's the one thing I should go and see?"
"I don't know. That's the problem with living here. I don't think about places to go and see."
"I know what you mean. I don't know what to tell people, either."
The conversation was more "normal" and less personal Her blonde friend was now about 15 feet in front of us now and appeared to be making her way to the parking lot.
"So, you got big plans for the evening after your run?" Katie asked.
"It's gonna be a hot run tonight. Like I said, I'm going to kick back and relax."
Her blonde friend had reached the car directly behind my bus stop and was getting in the car's driver seat. She was having nothing to do with this conversation.
Katie suggested "Drink a glass of wine? Maybe smoke a doob?" My, she is an inquisitive little vixen!
"No, not as a runner. And no wine tonight."
In a flash I asked myself "So, do I go for it or do I just let it be? Maybe I've read this wrong and they aren't a couple. Maybe her blonde friend is the one that provides reason and safety for her. I've known female pairs that work exactly that way. Katiee knows my name, but she doesn't know me. She has no way of knowing whether I'm serious or just messing with her. Maybe her friend is there is to make sure she gets home safe." As fast as I thought that question and line of reasoning, I thought "no, just let it go" because we had reached the car, her blonde haired friend had already gotten into the car waiting for her, and the line of inquiry and the whole conversation seemed like it was about to come to a close. It seemed we were about to say our goodbye.
Katie persisted as she stood at the front of the car. "So, how are you planning to relax tonight after your run?"
Okay, this is the perfect set of conditions. Let's see how she responds to this....
But after the fact, I read it like she really was flirting with me "to take the bait." When I didn't take the bait, maybe she didn't expect that to happen that way (because she is attractive, guys are weak and follow their penises). Her line of inquiry about relaxation was a way to stay engaged in pursuit.
"Oh, I plan to take a nice big enema."
"You're shitting me!" she said, probably not realizing it was the perfect setup line.
"No," I replied. "But after 4 or 5 quarts in my ass, I probably will be!" I didn't add, "you can join me if you like. I've got plenty of equipment for all of us"
She stood there with a stunned and what I would suggest was a knowing smile on her lips. I took a final look at her with a feeling of self-satisfaction. She was very easy on the eyes but this was probably not the answer she was expecting.
"It was great meeting you and Y'all have a great evening. I'll definitely be thinking about you when I'm running tonight."
And with that, I watched her get in the passenger seat. I turned my attention back up the street to look for the bus that would be coming shortly. Her blonde-hair friend started the car, but she didn't pull away. I glanced over at them while they were still sitting there having a conversation. My guess from the way it looked was that Katie was sharing the last part of the conversation. I was aware that Katie was taking my picture through the windshield as I was standing there waiting for the bus.
After sitting there for about 4 or 5 minutes, Katie rolled down the window and leaned out to call me. I moved over towards the car so I could hear and answer her.
"Do you need a ride home?"
"No, it's okay. I'm waiting for the next bus. Thanks!"
With that, I went back to my spot by the curb. Maybe I should have accepted that offer, but the potential complications were more than I was willing to deal with. They backed out of the space and very slowly pulled out of the lot. They went around the block several times before my bus came. I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw them drive by me after my bus let me off, though there was no indication that they followed me down the side streets to my home. I smiled about this all the way home and all evening long.
So far no facebook or instagram requests.