Well it has been a long time since I have had the courage to write something...meaningful?
Okay, give it a try...
Since the middle of January of this year I've been through a wagon ton of shit. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Not all in that order. But I've survived. Between the Physical therapy, Speech therapy, the visits with the Psychologist, etc etc etc. Well yes I am fucked up but was that way before the stroke and personal issues. So I am currently at about 92% with the Physical. 95% with the Speech. Still having issues with mental gymnastics of math and calculations but it is coming along one Sudoku at a time. The mental / emotional, well the jury is still out on that one. I have really good days and even weeks and then slip into a funk, a depression over shit that I can't control and the person (s) involved, well they don't give a shit anyway so I wonder why the fuck I even try to be civil towards them and then that place in my brain still cares about them.. I hate that place..LOL.
My safe place is a local bar. Full of Police officers, Firefighters, and EMTs and one cute red head. These have become my Uncles and Brothers and Sisters. They are the ones that don't care about your past. And they just know you are there to support them as much as they give you a lifting hand as well. Granted I give a ton of money to all the support groups that help these guys. I've helped start funds for college educations for the children of fallen emergency people (all enclusive). I have two dear lesbian friends that I have dinner with from time to time that are always trying to 'fix' me up. They even introduced me to a guy! ( yes I was shocked and dismayed as well) But even he is okay and i even go out with him once in a while. Kind of different..LOL
The hardest part was the whole going out thing. I didn't have my support wheel anymore and so crowds become difficult for me to deal with. The flow in and out is something that I can't control. Can reduce me to a type of paranoia that is debilitating for me. Plus the whole walking thing with out a walker then a cane was an issue for me as well. Now I move about pretty good. Really high heels are still an obstacles for me.
So one of my more elegant friends that drag me to all sorts of charity events introduces me to a woman who I've known for a bit. She is a rather in your face journalist for a couple of local news(rag)papers here. She wants that one big story about something seedy to make her way into the big time. She is very attractive. And I've known for sometime that she is someone that is trying to find out shit about the private club society as well. So I was clearly on my best behavior but also sizing her up a great deal. We went out a couple of times and I found out that she was merely trying to gain my confidence so she could get an in. I also found out who turned her on to me and yes it was one of the other local dominatrixes that thinks everything is a competition.
During one of our 'dates' she asked me a couple of telling questions. I was polite and informed her that she was cozying up to the wrong person and that her information about me was not accurate and perhaps if she wanted a great story, maybe she ought to ask the person that pointed me out. I also informed her that she should no longer try to contact me and with that I got up and walked away.
Damn it, she was good looking.
Fast forward a month
So I am called to the great patron of the charities of Chicago's house. Seemed there was something important she wanted to discuss with me. Since this person is also my personal financial investor I give her a bit of leighway when calling me about. I was also instructed to dress for, yes you guessed it, another event that we would all go together to. My financial investor is also a former sub of mine. So I trust her a great deal and we have the occassional sessions over a weekend from now and then. So arriving at her home is always a lovely trip and once inside she and I were talking and the conversation changed to the woman she had introduced me to. I explained the situation and she told me she knew all about that. I was confused. Then she asked if there was anything that that person could do to gain my trust once again. Again confused. I told her that might be a bit difficult. When you lose someone's trust it is so difficult to gain it back. At so many levels.
I told her I would think it over. She kind of laughed. Then she told me she had a date for me for the evening and yes it was her. I was guarded most of the evening but my FI told me to lighten up and enjoy the evening. I hate being told what to do by a submissive..
Well I did and we did have a lovely evening. And again we spent some time talking and she was really over the top with her apologies and really wanted to try and start over because she found out it was pretty cool hanging out with me and was always an entertaining evening. Even going to a hobby shop to play table top games with the locals or just going to my favorite bar and meeting the people.
So I took a chance and we have been hanging out some. And life is slowly returning to normal. Assholes you have to work with. Assholes within your private club. Assholes in society. Assholes telling you if you don't believe what they say then you are nothing more than a hate monger and a racist.
I so laugh at them.
I am a Lesbian capitalist, a young republican, and member in good standing in the National Rifle Association. A follower of Ted Nugent. And if that doesn't scare the fuck out of liberals nothing else will. LOL
So I have a new friend, I am back to work again, still doing rehab, and just living life. Living it without some wonder people from the past but moving forward to living it with people who actually want to be around me and want to work with me want to play with me. Want to take my middle of the night (yeah a slave to my bladder) text messages and my silly first thing when I wake up notes. Those are amazing re reads sometimes. I wake up slow some days.
Now the pressing questions you must have....
She is 5'10"
Thin athletic build
Almost no breasts to speak of.. yes a -A cup..lol
Spikey short black hair
Dances like a fiend
An amazing sense of humor
Knows when I am tired out and gets me home in good shape.
Doesn't allow me to take the walk of shame..LOL
Actually pampers me from time to time
Can be fiesty as hell and argues and swears like a sailor... good thing for someone like me who does the same.
She has a good steady job and has her own place which is very good for both of us. Not saying that we might be a little hard to live with.
So, yeah, trying to get things back to normal.
Sorry maybe next time I will have some interesting sex stories. Trying to actually make some of those happen...LOL