I was asked by someone to write my idea of an ultimate play exam. I have a few scenarios that run through my head, but here's one:
Probably start off with meeting the doc, usual questions about medical history, etc. He proceeds to check vitals (BP, pulse) and then instructs me to turn on my tummy and lower my pants because he needs to do a rectal temp. I lower my pants, he lowers my panties, takes the temp, and then tells me I can pull them up. A gown and sheet/drape are handed to me, and I'm instructed to take everything off with gown opening in the front/back(examiner's preference). Doc leaves, and I undress as ordered. I hop back up on the table and wait.
Doc comes back in and checks eyes, throat, nose, working his way down to lungs. Listens to all lung fields, then comes around to listen to my heart. I'm asked to drop the gown for the breast exam. He does a thorough breast exam, both seated and then lying down. The gown comes back up, and then the bottom of the gown is lifted to just below my breasts, with the drape just covering my pubic mound.
The doc listens to my stomach before carefully palpating it. He reaches just under the drape to check my femoral pulses. He pulls the gown down and offers me a hand back into a sitting position. He then pulls out the stirrups. He helps me guide my feet into them, and then tells me to scoot down until I feel his hand, which he's placed at the end of the table. I scoot until I feel his hand against my bare bottom. The drape still hides me from his view, but not for long. I feel the warmth of the light as he turns it on and shines it in the vicinity of my vagina. I feel the air stirring under the thin drape that temporarily guards my modesty. I hear him prepping the equipment he'll need for my exam, hear the tray being brought close, him sitting on his chair and wheeling to right in front of my vagina. He snaps on gloves and lifts the gown, exposing me to him.
The first thing he announces is that he needs to remove my pubic hair, because it gets in the way of his exam. He leaves me uncovered while he gets the supplies to shave me. He comes back, laying a warm damp cloth over my vulva to soften the hair. He removes the cloth and starts working shaving cream all over my mound, my labia, the crease area of my legs, and all the way down between my buttocks. He then carefully shaves every inch of my perineum, working in a very thorough manner. He cleans up all the excess loose hair and shaving foam. Deeming I am satisfactorily "bald", he says he will start my exam.
He starts by looking at my vulva, then touches me, separating and spreading my vaginal lips, working his way from the top of my mound all the way down to my anus. He comes back to my labia, stretching them apart to see my clitoris. He rubs it momentarily to check its sensitivity. He then inspects my urethra before turning to his supplies. He's going to insert a catheter to measure my output during the rest of the exam. He cleans me with the betadyne/alcohol, lubricates the tip of the catheter, and inserts it. It burns a little as it's inserted. He inflates the bulb and seats it, taping the catheter to my thigh and hanging the bag on the side of the exam table.
He then turns his attention to my vagina. He first inserts a finger just inside and palpates the glands there. Withdrawing his finger, he picks up first a medium graves speculum. He dips it in warm water, and inserts it, rotating it into position. He opens it fully, screwing it into place. He inspects my cervix before taking samples for a pap smear. He unscrews the speculum and removes it, while picking up the small collins speculum and inserting. He opens this one and secures it open. He tells me that he wants to inspect the "roof" of my vagina, and that it may cause some feelings of arousal. He uses first a q-tip and then his finger to evaluate my response. Satisfied by my responses, he removes the speculum.
The doc reached for some lube, placing a good amount on his fingers. He inserts them into my vagina and places his other hand on my abdomen. He moves both hands to examine my uterus and ovaries. He slips his hand out of my vagina, regloves, relubes, and positions fingers and my vagina and one at my anus. I'm instructed to relax and bear down, and he slips fingers into both orifices to conduct a thorough recto-vaginal exam. He removes his hand, wiping the anal finger on a guiac card before removing the glove.
He needs to give me a series of enemas before he can continue my exam, he announces. He leaves me in the stirrups while he goes and prepares the first enema. This one is soapy, he says, and it will help get all the gunk loosened up and out of my system. He and I have priorly discussed my lack of experience with enemas, so he decides to use a retention nozzle to help me hold all the enemas for the proper length of time. He inserts the nozzle in my bottom, inflating both balloons before hooking up the bag. He opens the bag, and I feel the water begin to invade my bowels. Soon I'm cramping, but he talks me through them, reaching up to massage my stomach to help the water travel higher. Soon the bag is empty, and he clamps it shut. He continues to help talk me through the hold time. Satisfied that the enema has had plenty of time to work, he unhooks the bag from the nozzle and watches as the enema expels into a basin he's pulled out from the table.
Too soon, he's back with another enema. This one looks to be larger than the first, and he doesn't tell me what this one contains. He hooks it up, and soon I'm dealing again with cramps. He massages my abdomen, but soon his thumb is rubbing my clit, trying to take my mind off the discomfort. This bag drains, I hold it, and finally he lets me release through the nozzle.
The last bag he prepares also bulges ominously, but he tells me this is just a rinse. He also holds up a long tube. A colon tube, he tells me, and that it will get the enema up really high without the discomfort of the previous two. He's going to thread it up through the nozzle already inside me. I can feel the tube snaking thru my innards as he advances it, but this one is very easy compared to the others, and I'm allowed to expel almost immediately after he's done. He removes the nozzle, and I relax.
He needs me on my hands and knees, chest to the table. I move into the position requested, very aware that I am on display for him and that the gown doesn't hide a view of my breasts hanging down. I'm brought out of those thoughts quickly as he snaps on gloves and places a lubricated finger at my anus. He pushed his finger in as far as it would go, and slowly rotated it, feeling every inch of my rectal walls. He pulled back, but then pushed back in, working the lube around and stretching my hole. He then pulled his finger out, almost immediately pushing two into my anus. He worked them around and in and out for a bit before removing them. He picked up a rectal speculum and inserted it, opening it wide and looking inside. He closed and removed the speculum, and then inserted an anoscope for a better look. I felt the hollowness of my rectum when he removed the obturator. He looked for a good amount of time, and then removed the anoscope. He announced he had one more scope, and that this one could be rather uncomfortable. With that, he picked up a sigmoidscope, placed it at my sphincter, and told me to bear down. It felt like it would never be done invading my bowels, but I finally felt the handle against my skin. He slowly backed it out, turning it to get a good look at everything inside. It finally was removed from my bottom.
Ok, I did great. Back into the stirrups! He lubes his finger up again and inserts it. This is just a soothing balm, I'm told. Then I feel a slender intruder - just one quick rectal temp, he says. As it registers, he removes the catheter from my bladder. He removes the thermometer and helps me sit up. I have a clean bill of health! I can get dressed, and don't forget to make a follow-up appointment!
And that's my current ultimate exam!