This will probably sound like crazy ramblings as I use this blog post to work out for myself - and all of you - why I love medfet. Please bear with me as it gets edited and changed multiple times.
For me, medfet is not about kinky sex. None. Period. I tell everyone upfront that I am not looking for sex, don't want sex, will not have sex with them. NO SEX!!!!
Okay, now that's out of the way... I do get some level of arousal out of this. Looking at the galleries, reading the stories, chatting... I can and do get aroused. Is that what I'm after? Not really. (But it is a pleasant by-product, I'll admit!) And do I get aroused when being examined in a play setting? Well, I've only had a couple of exams, but I'm told that I was showing signs of arousal.
I love the ability to be the patient. I want the experience of being submitted to the doctor for the exam and procedures. I want to feel the realism of the exam - the doctor's hands, the instruments touching my body, entering my body, opening and exposing and lighting my body for the doctor's examination and treatment. I want the mental game that occurs. I want to have that safe space to let go and enjoy learning more about me and my sexuality in this setting.
I think I also look for the feeling of being liked, being seen as pretty and beautiful and attractive. I want to feel like someone cares enough about me to play, and to examine me, and take care of my physical needs as a patient. As a loner who has a hard time real-world making friends because people see me as weird, and due to living and working in a conservative, religious environment, I need a way to feel like I matter. And this is one way I seek that, I guess.
My nature, due to my upbringing, is modest. I will never be someone who is exhibitionistic. Making porn videos or going around in revealing clothing in public will never happen for me - I'd be too uncomfortable. And yet there's something about being in a gown with a sheet over my lap that I like. I can handle the doc revealing parts of me for examination - uncovering my breasts for examination, yet the rest of me is modestly clothed. And when that part of the exam is done, I'm covered back up again. It's voyeuristic, I think - reveal, and hide. But it's also a comfort issue. I can regain my modesty, even if it's for short periods of time.
The idea of the medical focus vs. another form of fetish is most likely tied to my love of medicine. I always wanted to be a doctor or nurse growing up. I worked as a paramedic for 5 years. I plan to finish my education in physical therapy. So I don't think that it's too much of a stretch of the imagination to understand where I might love medical play.
I know that the nature of doctor/patient play is a form of D/s play. Yet I'm not really into D/s play. Can I be a very compliant patient for a doc? Sure. But I think that a friend has summed up what suits me: mutual respect. I respect you, as the playdoc, and want respect in return as the patient. This, for me, builds trust, and with trust comes the freedom to both let myself surrender to your exam and for you to examine as you please.