Well, 2 months and 9 days in, and I guess I'm not such a newbie anymore! In fact I can now hardly remember what life was like BZ (Before Zity). At the time I discovered Zity RL more or less stopped existing (Hopeless Zity Addict). For a long while the only RL events which got through to me were the various crises which affected my access to the site or my newly validated kinky lifestyle.
The first of these was that one Saturday night my kitten (nearly one, nearly full grown) brought in a massive - and I do mean massive - stag beetle (damn thing was nearly 2 3/4 inches in length!aaaarrghhhhh!!!!). Waaay too big for her to kill. It flew around my head and up onto my living room lampshade - at around 9pm I might add. There it stayed, lurking, way out of my reach, for nearly 48 hours. Sitting there trying to concentrate on reading in the Zity library or forum with that monster above my head was a lost cause. Finally on the following Monday afternoon it flew down and went behind my TV. I lost track of it, but T (my kitten) didn't. She was waiting when it emerged from behind my shredder, right next to the sofa where I was sitting. Whereupon I grabbed a handy plastic bag, scooped the stag beetle up and deposited it in some thick bushes in my garden. T following with a forlorn/disgusted look on her face. How dare I take her plaything away? (I really need to teach her that what she finds outside stays outside - thought I already had - apparently not!).
No sooner had I got over that crisis when (around 24 hours later) crisis number 2 occurred. I was on YIM to a buddy when I realised I hadn't had anything to drink for quite a while and was really thirsty (more on drinking/eating later). So, stupidly, not thinking of possible consequences, I poured myself a glass of water from the jug on the table next to me. I only spilled a couple of drops on my keyboard (honest!) and immediately turned my laptop upside down and shook it, but this (copy of actual conversation) was the result -
IM 24 Jul 2012
18:30:24 amy: just siuPOij;led water my keybwiuPOard!
18:31:04 doc : just and water turned out OK
18:31:11 amy: baaad news
18:31:50 amy: rhs of keyboard & trackpad
18:32:38 amy: keyboard improving - mouse gone
18:32:57 doc : most have a membrane under the keys now - it stops the 'electrics' getting wet but turns the biscuit crumbs in a mush
18:33:09 amy: shift & tab to select send!
18:33:35 amy: old laptop!
18:33:36 doc : just hit enter when you've finished typing
18:34:05 amy: Selected 'enter' as new line in options!!
18:35:50 amy: manageable now keyboard is functional - laptops been on nearly all day, so nice and hot, just hope it doesnt go bang!
18:36:05 doc : right - can't help further then - do you want to take time out and turn it upside down or dry the mouse?
18:37:42 amy: I think it'll do as it is now the keyboard is ok. Don't know the alternative keyboard shortcut for send, perchance?
18:37:59 doc : no, sorry
18:38:10 amy: Oh well
18:38:34 doc : try ctrl and S or alt and S
18:38:52 doc : try them now with me
18:39:11 amy: ctrl S is Save
18:39:28 amy: trying now
18:39:36 amy: alt S
18:39:45 doc : thats it!
18:39:53 amy: thanks
18:40:28 amy: Right - where were we before I managed to stuff my laptop up?
There then followed a self-taught crash course in Windows keyboard shortcuts. The mouse (actually a trackpad) returned to normal by the following morning, and I settled back into my new Zity life with a huge sigh of relief.
The third crisis of those early days was only indirectly Zity-related, being more to do with one of my kinks - 'ice in the butt'. I discovered the joys of this one very hot summer, way back around 10 years ago. Shortly thereafter I purchased an ice 'cube' tray which produced ice 'balls' - perfect spheres, no sharp edges - indeed, no edges of any sort. Well, as some of you will have gathered, this summer in the UK has not really been ice cube weather - whether in the butt or elsewhere. I had been bemoaning the fact to all my new Zity friends when finally the weather turned, and the sun decided to shine. Now, could I find my ice ball maker? No! I looked high and low, and in fact I still haven't found it. I eventually gave up and purchased the nearest equivalent - a tray that makes hemispherical ones. I went back a few days later and purchased another, intending to freeze one, set the other one in my ice box and then put the frozen one on top (upside down) to make slightly elongated 'spheres'. However by the time I had bought the second one, my ice box needed defrosting, and still does - too much time spent on Zity and not enough on housework lol.
It seems the life of this particular kinkster is destined never to run smooth!